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Beware of the Sugarless Gummie bears! (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter snogger
- Start date
a Honda but... 
sports_fan
Footballguy
I had a similar experience with sugarless mints.
Ted Mullins
Footballguy
Pretty sure it is the sugar alcohols. They tend to cause stomach issues. They are in a lot of low sugar candies and ice creams.
BlueDredSo
Footballguy
The story about the guy on the private jet is pure gold. I'm thinking of buying some of these for future pranking, maybe fill a bowl at next year's ugly sweater party. Obviously not at my house
Joe Summer
Footballguy
Sugarless Jelly Bellies for me. I still have 10 unopened bags of them and I am afraid to eat them again.
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
Dude, don't. I ate an entire bag of these AND a bag of sugar free Jelly Belly over the course of a movie about a year ago. I barely made it home. My rectum was like a popped fire hydrant for the next 24 hours. I was guzzling water like I was stranded in the Kalahari desert trying to stay hydrated. Think you'll just counter it with some Imodium? Think again. Normally one or two of those little pills will stop me up for a day or so, but the sugar alcohols in those candies swatted them aside as if they were gnats on Godzilla's nose. Except in this case, Godzilla was non - stop diarrhea. There were no Japanese people around, but if there had been, the reaction would have been the same; panicked fleeing and abject horror. The noises alone would have emptied Tokyo, it sounded like a band comprised of a meth tweaker whaling on a xylophone, another opening and slamming the world's creakiest door, and yet another strangling a wildcat.Is it weird that I want to try these?
Last edited by a moderator:
fantasycurse42
Footballguy Jr.
Dude, don't. I ate an entire bag of these AND a bag of sugar free Jelly Belly over the course of a movie about a year ago. I barely made it home. My rectum was like a popped fire hydrant for the next 24 hours. I was guzzling water like I was stranded in the Kalahari desert trying to stay hydrated. Think you'll just counter it with some Imodium? Think again. Normally one or two of those little pills will stop me up for a day or so, but the sugar alcohols in those candies swatted them aside as if they were gnats on Godzilla's nose. Except in this case, Godzilla was non - stop diarrhea. There were no Japanese people around, but if there were the reaction would have been the same, panicked fleeing and abject horror. The noises alone would have emptied Tokyo, it sounded like a band comprised of a meth tweaker whaling on a xylophone, another opening and slamming the world's creamier door, and yet another strangling a wildcat.Is it weird that I want to try these?
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
It was a nightmare, my sphincter felt like someone was dutifully basting it with Habanero relish, it was so raw.
proninja
Footballguy
You really have a way with wordsDude, don't. I ate an entire bag of these AND a bag of sugar free Jelly Belly over the course of a movie about a year ago. I barely made it home. My rectum was like a popped fire hydrant for the next 24 hours. I was guzzling water like I was stranded in the Kalahari desert trying to stay hydrated. Think you'll just counter it with some Imodium? Think again. Normally one or two of those little pills will stop me up for a day or so, but the sugar alcohols in those candies swatted them aside as if they were gnats on Godzilla's nose. Except in this case, Godzilla was non - stop diarrhea. There were no Japanese people around, but if there had been, the reaction would have been the same; panicked fleeing and abject horror. The noises alone would have emptied Tokyo, it sounded like a band comprised of a meth tweaker whaling on a xylophone, another opening and slamming the world's creakiest door, and yet another strangling a wildcat.Is it weird that I want to try these?
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Had a few of these the other day. They didn't give me the runs but I farted about every 2 minutes for 4 hours.
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
Binky The Doormat
Footballguy
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
Eat a whole bag. You'll look like you're using one of those water-powered jet packs, only instead of twin jets of water, it will look like the chocolate fountain at Golden Corral powered by a Boeing 747 engine coming out of your buttocks.
Politician Spock
Footballguy
Seventy six trombones led the big parade
With a hundred and ten cornets close at hand.
They were followed by rows and rows of the finest virtuosos,
the cream of ev'ry famous band.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Yeah, sounds like a great plan.
The farting was enough. I was teaching at the time. I carpet-bombed more kids than a B-52 pilot in Nam.
NutterButter
Footballguy
Sounds like those Wow potato chips and the anal leakage warning on the bag. Oh, the marketing geniuses.
TheAristocrat
Footballguy
JHC.Dude, don't. I ate an entire bag of these AND a bag of sugar free Jelly Belly over the course of a movie about a year ago. I barely made it home. My rectum was like a popped fire hydrant for the next 24 hours. I was guzzling water like I was stranded in the Kalahari desert trying to stay hydrated. Think you'll just counter it with some Imodium? Think again. Normally one or two of those little pills will stop me up for a day or so, but the sugar alcohols in those candies swatted them aside as if they were gnats on Godzilla's nose. Except in this case, Godzilla was non - stop diarrhea. There were no Japanese people around, but if there had been, the reaction would have been the same; panicked fleeing and abject horror. The noises alone would have emptied Tokyo, it sounded like a band comprised of a meth tweaker whaling on a xylophone, another opening and slamming the world's creakiest door, and yet another strangling a wildcat.Is it weird that I want to try these?
Sugar alcohols, mentioned in post #3. I was eating a lot of sugarless cough drops while sick recently, they gave me a tremendous amount of gas. Once I stopped eating them, gas stopped.
snogger
Footballguy
Dude, don't. I ate an entire bag of these AND a bag of sugar free Jelly Belly over the course of a movie about a year ago. I barely made it home. My rectum was like a popped fire hydrant for the next 24 hours. I was guzzling water like I was stranded in the Kalahari desert trying to stay hydrated. Think you'll just counter it with some Imodium? Think again. Normally one or two of those little pills will stop me up for a day or so, but the sugar alcohols in those candies swatted them aside as if they were gnats on Godzilla's nose. Except in this case, Godzilla was non - stop diarrhea. There were no Japanese people around, but if there were the reaction would have been the same, panicked fleeing and abject horror. The noises alone would have emptied Tokyo, it sounded like a band comprised of a meth tweaker whaling on a xylophone, another opening and slamming the world's creamier door, and yet another strangling a wildcat.Is it weird that I want to try these?
3C's
Footballguy
When you say "whole bag" do you mean a big bag or a single serve sort of thing. Gotta make sure I do this right.
Tom Servo
Nittany Beavers
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
I had a bag of jelly beans and a bag of gummy bears, each the size you'd get in a movie theater. I can't even fathom what it would have been like if I'd eaten family size bags, I think I would have #### out half my body weight.When you say "whole bag" do you mean a big bag or a single serve sort of thing. Gotta make sure I do this right.
3C's
Footballguy
I had a bag of jelly beans and a bag of gummy bears, each the size you'd get in a movie theater. I can't even fathom what it would have been like if I'd eaten family size bags, I think I would have #### out half my body weight.When you say "whole bag" do you mean a big bag or a single serve sort of thing. Gotta make sure I do this right.
Putting it on my wife's shopping list. She's always buying the low fat, sugar free stuff. Maybe this will fix her. In all seriousness, I'd be shocked if this affected me in any way. Only one way to find out.
baaloc1968
Footballguy
A local radio station ordered the gummy bears with the intention of having one of their producers or board guys eat eat them to see what happened. He wore a diaper when he started eating them and he ate a lot of them. After about an hour, he started hitting the bathroom. He said it didn't stop until about 24 hours later.
I think all of the sugar free candy has a warning on the bag saying it could cause a laxative effect.
I think all of the sugar free candy has a warning on the bag saying it could cause a laxative effect.
Godsbrother
Footballguy
I love me some EvilGrin posts in the morning! Made my "hole" day!
heckmanm
Footballguy
Struggling to even imagine xylophone soundsDude, don't. I ate an entire bag of these AND a bag of sugar free Jelly Belly over the course of a movie about a year ago. I barely made it home. My rectum was like a popped fire hydrant for the next 24 hours. I was guzzling water like I was stranded in the Kalahari desert trying to stay hydrated. Think you'll just counter it with some Imodium? Think again. Normally one or two of those little pills will stop me up for a day or so, but the sugar alcohols in those candies swatted them aside as if they were gnats on Godzilla's nose. Except in this case, Godzilla was non - stop diarrhea. There were no Japanese people around, but if there had been, the reaction would have been the same; panicked fleeing and abject horror. The noises alone would have emptied Tokyo, it sounded like a band comprised of a meth tweaker whaling on a xylophone, another opening and slamming the world's creakiest door, and yet another strangling a wildcat.Is it weird that I want to try these?
Don Quixote
Footballguy
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
Don't make plans for the next 12-24 hours unless the idea of running through a public place holding your buttcheeks together with your hands and sweating like Wesley Snipes at a Riley Cooper barbecue appeals to you.I had a bag of jelly beans and a bag of gummy bears, each the size you'd get in a movie theater. I can't even fathom what it would have been like if I'd eaten family size bags, I think I would have #### out half my body weight.When you say "whole bag" do you mean a big bag or a single serve sort of thing. Gotta make sure I do this right.
In all seriousness, I'd be shocked if this affected me in any way. Only one way to find out.
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
Literally. If you can eat what I ate at the movies that day without ill effects, you're superhuman. I never experienced anything like that in my life. Oddly, there was really no discomfort or cramping after the first explosion... half the time, I barely even knew I was passing anything, it was just pure water spraying out of my tuchus like a fire hose.
Keerock
Footballguy
Challenge accepted. Please link to the exact product and size. For the benefit of FFA science, I will chronicle my experience (or lack thereof).
3C's
Footballguy
Leaning towards I'll be fine but inquiring minds (my own) want to know.Don't make plans for the next 12-24 hours unless the idea of running through a public place holding your buttcheeks together with your hands and sweating like Wesley Snipes at a Riley Cooper barbecue appeals to you.I had a bag of jelly beans and a bag of gummy bears, each the size you'd get in a movie theater. I can't even fathom what it would have been like if I'd eaten family size bags, I think I would have #### out half my body weight.When you say "whole bag" do you mean a big bag or a single serve sort of thing. Gotta make sure I do this right.
In all seriousness, I'd be shocked if this affected me in any way. Only one way to find out.
Foosball God
Foos
heckmanm
Footballguy
Joe Summer
Footballguy
I have 10 bags of Sugar Free Jelly Bellies if anyone wants to take them off my hands.
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
But.... I LIKE you. I wouldn't want you to have to go through this. I'm only posting links if you're 99% confident it will truly have no effect. I am far less convinced....Keerock said:
proninja
Footballguy
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
Pull up Sugar-Free Jelly Belly - 3.1 oz bag on Amazon. I think that's probably the size. Oddly. the very first suggestion for "Customers who bought this also bought" is the 1 lb bag on Haribo sugar-free gummi bears, which I believe is also the right size. Get those two. Eat them both in their entirety within 1h 45m.
Note : I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS. YOU ARE VOLUNTARILY TURNING YOU BUTTOCKS INTO NIAGARA FALLS. THE CANADIAN SIDE.
Note : I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS. YOU ARE VOLUNTARILY TURNING YOU BUTTOCKS INTO NIAGARA FALLS. THE CANADIAN SIDE.
