Ray Karpis
Footballguy
Trying to recover from one of the worst bouts of the stomach virus I've ever had.
Last night was the annual Sugar Plum Ball...a big father-daughter dance to support a local organization. It's a huge event in our city...hundreds of dads/daughters attend...tickets sell out really quickly. Last year, the day before the dance, my 10-year-old daughter tells me she really wants to go, and in fact, has always wanted to go. She had never even mentioned it before. Of course, we can't get tickets, she cries, but we go out to dinner and I promise to take her next year. Most girls have gone several times by the time they're 10...we somehow overlooked it and she never mentioned it. So 2012 would be her first, and perhaps only, year to go.
I calendar the date tickets go on sale and get tickets. She buys a dress, gets her hair done, fake nails, new shoes, I buy a new suit, tie, wrist corsage...the whole nine yards. She is really excited.
About 3:00 yesterday, I start feeling bad. I never get sick, so I know what is likely coming but try to ignore it. By the time I am home getting dressed, the foul smelling, explosive diarrhea has arrived. :X But I'm a gamer, and my little girls wants to go to this dance, and I'm going to go down without a fight. By the time we're ready to leave, I'm getting nauseous, weak feeling..not good.
So we ride over to the dance. As we're about to get out of the car, I put my head down on the steering wheel for a minute to gather myself. I look over and my daughter is starting cry. "I just feel bad for you...this isn't what tonight was supposed to be like...we waited all year, you bought these tickets and a new dress..."
Just killed me.
So we dab her tears and make it into the dance. We manage to get our pictures made, have our names announced as we walk into the ballroom, she walks around with her friends, but I'm steadily feeling worse. A few other dads I know had heard my situation from texts from their wives (who my wife had texted), and they all laughingly give me the waving "stay away" arms. Bastards. I made at least 6 trips to the bathroom within the first 40 minutes. I finally threw in the towel about 7:15 and texted my wife to come pick me up in 30 minutes. My daughter was going to stay with a few friends and ride home with them (which had already been discussed as a possibility on the ride over). She finds her friends to tell them, but they inform her they are about to leave to go get ice cream. They had been there less than an hour, but since they'd been several times before, they weren't concerned with staying.
I could see the disappointment in my daughter's eyes and the next thing I know she is exiting out a side door in tears. She didn't want to leave so quickly...again "I was so excited about tonight and nothing is going right...I wanted to stay and dance..." so on and so on. I know it's not the end of the world, but it's heartbreaking to see your daughter that disappointed.
In the midst of this, I get struck with a horrible bit of nausea. I have to hold a finger up to her signaling "just a minute" and dart to the bathroom. I barely make it into the stall and then proceed to puke up my lungs. I somehow pull the stall door closed behind me and pull back my suit coat and tie to keep from vomiting on them. Several mighty wretches, and then on the third, I feel it...
...the warm sensation in my pants. M##### f#####. I couldn't squeeze my ### enough and it came out both ends.
So on top of a disappointed daughter in tears, and feeling like I'm about to die, I also have #### my pants...in public...with 500 people around me. I inspect the situation and realize it didn't seem to penetrate through my underwear. So in the stall, I manage to get rid of the underwear, and gather myself.
Freeballing in a new suit...I go back out and find my daughter, who has decided to just go with her friends. They decide to stick around for about 10 more minutes and then go get ice cream. My wife came and picked me up and took me home. Car still downtown in danger of being towed. By the time I got home, I was shivering with fever, body aches, and still had diarrhea. I heard my daughter come in later and she seemed to have made the best of it. I slept it off and feel better this morning.
Last night was the annual Sugar Plum Ball...a big father-daughter dance to support a local organization. It's a huge event in our city...hundreds of dads/daughters attend...tickets sell out really quickly. Last year, the day before the dance, my 10-year-old daughter tells me she really wants to go, and in fact, has always wanted to go. She had never even mentioned it before. Of course, we can't get tickets, she cries, but we go out to dinner and I promise to take her next year. Most girls have gone several times by the time they're 10...we somehow overlooked it and she never mentioned it. So 2012 would be her first, and perhaps only, year to go.
I calendar the date tickets go on sale and get tickets. She buys a dress, gets her hair done, fake nails, new shoes, I buy a new suit, tie, wrist corsage...the whole nine yards. She is really excited.
About 3:00 yesterday, I start feeling bad. I never get sick, so I know what is likely coming but try to ignore it. By the time I am home getting dressed, the foul smelling, explosive diarrhea has arrived. :X But I'm a gamer, and my little girls wants to go to this dance, and I'm going to go down without a fight. By the time we're ready to leave, I'm getting nauseous, weak feeling..not good.
So we ride over to the dance. As we're about to get out of the car, I put my head down on the steering wheel for a minute to gather myself. I look over and my daughter is starting cry. "I just feel bad for you...this isn't what tonight was supposed to be like...we waited all year, you bought these tickets and a new dress..."
Just killed me.So we dab her tears and make it into the dance. We manage to get our pictures made, have our names announced as we walk into the ballroom, she walks around with her friends, but I'm steadily feeling worse. A few other dads I know had heard my situation from texts from their wives (who my wife had texted), and they all laughingly give me the waving "stay away" arms. Bastards. I made at least 6 trips to the bathroom within the first 40 minutes. I finally threw in the towel about 7:15 and texted my wife to come pick me up in 30 minutes. My daughter was going to stay with a few friends and ride home with them (which had already been discussed as a possibility on the ride over). She finds her friends to tell them, but they inform her they are about to leave to go get ice cream. They had been there less than an hour, but since they'd been several times before, they weren't concerned with staying.
I could see the disappointment in my daughter's eyes and the next thing I know she is exiting out a side door in tears. She didn't want to leave so quickly...again "I was so excited about tonight and nothing is going right...I wanted to stay and dance..." so on and so on. I know it's not the end of the world, but it's heartbreaking to see your daughter that disappointed.
In the midst of this, I get struck with a horrible bit of nausea. I have to hold a finger up to her signaling "just a minute" and dart to the bathroom. I barely make it into the stall and then proceed to puke up my lungs. I somehow pull the stall door closed behind me and pull back my suit coat and tie to keep from vomiting on them. Several mighty wretches, and then on the third, I feel it...
...the warm sensation in my pants. M##### f#####. I couldn't squeeze my ### enough and it came out both ends.
So on top of a disappointed daughter in tears, and feeling like I'm about to die, I also have #### my pants...in public...with 500 people around me. I inspect the situation and realize it didn't seem to penetrate through my underwear. So in the stall, I manage to get rid of the underwear, and gather myself.
Freeballing in a new suit...I go back out and find my daughter, who has decided to just go with her friends. They decide to stick around for about 10 more minutes and then go get ice cream. My wife came and picked me up and took me home. Car still downtown in danger of being towed. By the time I got home, I was shivering with fever, body aches, and still had diarrhea. I heard my daughter come in later and she seemed to have made the best of it. I slept it off and feel better this morning.
Look up...
