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"Work" buzzwords I HATE (1 Viewer)

pats3in4 said:
mquinnjr said:
CletiusMaximus said:
guy 1 - "I've got a hard stop at 3."

guy 2 - "That's sub-obtimal."
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I :censored: loathe that one. "You stop being worthy of my time, at this time."

Go take a long walk off of a short pier, guy.
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In my office, when people use "hard stop", it usually means they are obligated to be somewhere else. I don't think I've ever heard it used in the context of what you describe.
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I quoted that, because that's the context it's used in. I've seen people leave meetings at a hard stop plenty of times and go right back to their desks to work on something else.

 
Soak the walls.

Had a colleague tell me she wanted me to do this, but when I ripped the jug off the water cooler and shook it all over the hallway she looked at me like I was crazy.

WTF?

 
"Double-Confirm"

If you have to double confirm something, it's not confirmed at all.

"Needle-Nose"

A bottleneck at the end of a project is still a bottle neck.

"Delagize"

You can delegate or you can authorize, but don't try to shirk all responsibility, but still take all the credit.

 
mquinnjr said:
pats3in4 said:
mquinnjr said:
CletiusMaximus said:
guy 1 - "I've got a hard stop at 3."

guy 2 - "That's sub-obtimal."
Click to expand...
I :censored: loathe that one. "You stop being worthy of my time, at this time."

Go take a long walk off of a short pier, guy.
Click to expand...
In my office, when people use "hard stop", it usually means they are obligated to be somewhere else. I don't think I've ever heard it used in the context of what you describe.
Click to expand...
I quoted that, because that's the context it's used in. I've seen people leave meetings at a hard stop plenty of times and go right back to their desks to work on something else.
Click to expand...
Now *that's* dooshy.

 
pats3in4 said:
mquinnjr said:
pats3in4 said:
mquinnjr said:
CletiusMaximus said:
guy 1 - "I've got a hard stop at 3."

guy 2 - "That's sub-obtimal."
Click to expand...
I :censored: loathe that one. "You stop being worthy of my time, at this time."

Go take a long walk off of a short pier, guy.
Click to expand...
In my office, when people use "hard stop", it usually means they are obligated to be somewhere else. I don't think I've ever heard it used in the context of what you describe.
Click to expand...
I quoted that, because that's the context it's used in. I've seen people leave meetings at a hard stop plenty of times and go right back to their desks to work on something else.
Click to expand...
Now *that's* dooshy.
Click to expand...
Msybe the guy had to get something done by cob. Seriously #### meetings. You can't get anything done if you have meetings all day.
 
"A robust evaluation was done" ... or "robust" in any form or fashion.

When anyone says "robust" you know for certain they are blowing smoke and hiding something, "Robust" is sort of like that "Great Stuff expanding foam crack filler" it patches holes and works to get the job done but it really doesn't look so good when you get up close to it. When someone says "robust" they are trying to tell you "admire what we did from a distance, but don't get too close because you might not like what you see".

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Level set.

And let's just say it: women love using all of these. Men do it, some like it, but women live for it.

 
Not a buzzword but I work with a guy who answers everything with "that's a really good question" and then just moves right on.

 
"HR"

My company is full of lawyers. Every single action is processed thru an endless filter of "does this open us up for litigation"? Very frustrating.

 
Not quite a buzzword, but a young girl coworker asked me how I was doing, and after I replied, she told me that "I feel you" In fact a few minutes later she asked me something else along those lines, I replied and she said it a second time.

"I feel you" I am definitely getting old.

 
The big buzz phrase in my company these days is activity-based field steering. Just rolls off the tongue, pretty sure most people in my company have no idea what it means.

 
I hate and use many of these phrases. So conflicted.

I like hard stop in the right context. We have these monthly strategy meetings with our ad agency and PR firm. Knowing if anyone has a commitment immediately afterward establishes up front how much time we have for brainstorming vs getting through the agenda.

 
If I hear one more person say something is 'critical', I'm going to punch him in the face. Everything is not critical.

Also:

1) Align, as in 'we need to align on this' or 'I need to align with you'. That just means you're going to talk to me until I agree with you.

2) Low-hanging fruit

3) At the end of the day

4) Let's take this offline

I'm sure there are others. That's just all I can think of right now.

 
sublimeone said:
We don't use these words where I work because we aren't dooshbags... but I always get a chuckle overhearing this sort of nonsense from the shirt and tie crowd at lunch.
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Agreed.

Of course at my job I look at people's #### and decapitate small woodland creatures so there isn't much need for buzzwords.

 
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