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HOT SPORTS TAKES - A man who won't stand for the anthem is an act that we as Americans shouldn't stand for (1 Viewer)

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Footballguy
I love when horrible, sanctimonious sports writers/bloggers/trolls throw these awful columns out to the masses, only they actually mean what they write.

I figured the FFA could come up with some good ones. I'll start.

 
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MY COLUMN:

Reports today are that Colin Kaepernick just signed an extension for 6 years at over 100 million dollars.

Can you believe that? What is that, 2000 dollars for each overthrown pass? 1000 dollars for each tattoo?

Has the Aaron Hernandez saga taught us nothing about extending guys with that many tattoos?

Look you can say what you want, but a quarterback is a leader and should have that clean cut look that people respect. Unitas, Manning, Brady, even Russell Wilson (who I may add beat Kaepernick just this past January) all look professional, don't have tattoo sleeves and carry themselves a certain way.

I just want my QB to be more concerned about his team and winning Super Bowls than he is with his Beats Music commercials or how flat his oversized hat bill is. Is that asking too much?

I just want my QB to be perfecting his timing route or his fade pass in the end zone (that Richard Sherman famously jumped) rather than be worried about whether he can shoehorn another splotchy, illegible tattoo onto his bicep.

And if I am paying a guy a hundred million dollars, I want to know that he can win the biggest game of the year, rather than throw a terrible pass to seal the loss and then show no emotion. It's okay Colin, you still have your giant hat.

Today's extension ensures Colin will have a lifetime of oversized hats. But will he be able to fill them with Super Bowl trophies? Or will he just continue to be Colin Kaepercan't...the 100 million dollar QB incapable of leading his team to the big win.

I know which way I think this is going to go.

 
HOT SPORTS TAKES are usually more than just blurbs, but we are nothing if not accommodating here.

 
It occurred to me the other day that most MLB hitters are hitting about .250 or so.

So 75% of the time they record an out.

Essentially this means that them getting a hit is the equivalent of your AK all-in getting beat my AJ or something like that... it's essentially a bad beat.

Basically almost every hit in baseball is essentially a bad beat.

I hate bad beats.

So now even when I watch my hometown team I can't root for the batter... every game should really be a no-hitter for both teams... effin' bad beats

 
Rob Gronkowski was spotted yesterday having sex with every stripper in the Spearmint Rhino. Upon leaving the strip club he tore his ACL and was carted to the hospital. Upon completing ACL surgery 8 hours later, he was back at the Spearmint Rhino.

 
Yasiel Puig was late to Batting Practice today. This on the one-year anniversary of his debut in the major leagues.

Some guys just don't get it. Yes, Puig has overcome many hardships in his life and a treacherous migration here to America.

But he now has the privilege to play a game and the chance to be paid handsomely to do so. By not taking this seriously, he is basically thumbing his nose at all of his countrymen who were not so lucky and must continue to live under a repressive, life-threatening regime.

That is, assuming that he stops foolishly sliding into first base so that he even has a good thumb left.

 
Fantastic thread idea. Finally a proper outlet for that GordonGekko nozzle.

There are some spectacularly HOT SPORTS TAKES in here already: that tattoo one and the Puig one are just SIZZLING.

I am so IN on this. I'll try to put something up tonight.

 
Soccer? You can keep it. Americans don't dive or need magical spray for our legs when we fall on the ground.

How long would Lionel Messi last as an NFL running back? Two plays?

 
Fantastic thread idea. Finally a proper outlet for that GordonGekko nozzle.

There are some spectacularly HOT SPORTS TAKES in here already: that tattoo one and the Puig one are just SIZZLING.

I am so IN on this. I'll try to put something up tonight.
I almost sent you a PM when I posted this thread. :hifive:

 
MY COLUMN:

The NBA Finals start tomorrow night, which means it's another opportunity for Lebron James to shine on the biggest stage.

Chances are though, it'll be somebody else doing the shining.

But this is why Lebron ran from being the local hero to the team with all the talent right? So he didn't have to do the heavy lifting? When the chips were down and the Heat were almost eliminated last year, who hit the big shot that tied game 6? Lebron? No of course not...that would be Ray Allen.

This happens all too frequently, which is something I am sure to bring up anytime somebody compares Lebron to Jordan. How many times did somebody else other than #23 hit the big shot? Sure we all remember Steve Kerr hitting that dagger 3, but who set that up?

That's right, Michael Jordan did.

Have you ever seen Lebron bury a team's hopes in the Finals by himself like Jordan did to Utah? Have you ever seen Lebron hit a string of 3s in a row and then shrug to the broadcast booth? Have you ever seen Lebron carry a team to a victory in the Finals while he had the flu?

I don't think so. Lebron would make excuses while Michael makes SHOTS.

And that my friends is the difference. Lebron is a facilitator for others while Jordan would get it done himself. You might wonder why I care, as long as their team wins.

But when the chips are down and a shot needs to be made, I want a guy who will actually take it instead of passing it.

 
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Rick Reilly
The all time worst at this. Damn I hate that guy
Rick Rielly on Derek Jeter (5/28/2014)

To Derek Jeter's kids (whenever you come along):

You were born too late to know your father the way we did, so I want to take just a minute to let you know what he meant to us.

[... 3 pages of pre-canned aw-shucks flowery language written at a middle school level..]

He was ours for 20 years, but he's yours now, and I just wanted you to know how lucky you are.

:wall:

 
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Yeah, no matter what you come up with, it's probably already been done for reals and worse.

Skip Bayless makes the All-HST team too IMO.

 
It occurred to me the other day that most MLB hitters are hitting about .250 or so.

So 75% of the time they record an out.

Essentially this means that them getting a hit is the equivalent of your AK all-in getting beat my AJ or something like that... it's essentially a bad beat.

Basically almost every hit in baseball is essentially a bad beat.

I hate bad beats.

So now even when I watch my hometown team I can't root for the batter... every game should really be a no-hitter for both teams... effin' bad beats
I hate this criticism of running backs in the NFL as weak just because they have a low yards-per-carry. Math nerds have ruined football. RUINED IT.

Look, the worst starting running back in the league, according to those SPORTS NERDS, was Ray Rice. Those NERDS have him valued at -169 points, whatever that means. Negative points?! What does that even mean? How is that possible? How does a guy score negative points anyway?

Listen up, because I'm about to drop some knowledge on y'all ears and I want you to hear it. Ray Rice got 214 carries last year, and toted the rock a total 660 yards. Now, what these SPORTS NERDS won't tell you, is that means, on average, he went over 3 yards per carry. THREE YARDS PER CARRY. Do you know how many downs you get in football, sports NERDS? FOUR.

Do I have to spell it out? Three yards per carry. First down, 3 yards. Second down, 6 yards. Third down, 9 yards. Now, it's 4th-and-1, and you've got a guy who is gonna get you THREE YARDS every time he touches the ball. Give it to him again, and it's FIRST DOWN. Guess what? Just keep doing that every drive on every possession, and even RAY FREAKING RICE will carry the ball into the end zone. Three yards at a time.

But noooooooo-ooooooooo. The SPORTS NERDS want you to think going for it on 4th down is a bad idea because they've done some mumbo-jumbo thing they just created called "regression analysis" or "defense adjusted yards over Minne Minoso" or some other FAKE STATISTIC that they totally made up just to prove some fictitious point and support their idiotic opinion. It's wrong. Nerds don't have the guts to go for it on 4th down and they're just afraid to say it.

They make up some kind of ridiculous math to tell you that Ray Rice, who was a PRO BOWLER and is a stand-up guy and never shot anybody, never stabbed anybody, doesn't go out there and make waves and get all the flashy headlines, isn't just a great football player. I can do SIMPLE MATH and tell you 3 yards at a time is all you need to score on every drive, and if that's what Ray Rice can promise you, the coach is a fool for not doing it because these stupid geeks on their laptops who never played a down of football, not in the pros, not in college, not in high school, not in PEE-WEE FREAKING FOOTBALL even, but they own their favorite Fantasy Football player's jersey and they wear them to their fake "Fantasy Drafts" with their laptops with all the other pasty nerds who never got girls in high school, they say Ray Rice will score you NEGATIVE ONE HUNDRED SIXTY NINE POINTS when I just proved all he does is get first down after first down after first down and then a touchdown go to the Pro Bowl for it.

Nerds.

 
MY COLUMN:

Reports today are that Colin Kaepernick just signed an extension for 6 years at over 100 million dollars.

Can you believe that? What is that, 2000 dollars for each overthrown pass? 1000 dollars for each tattoo?

Has the Aaron Hernandez saga taught us nothing about extending guys with that many tattoos?

Look you can say what you want, but a quarterback is a leader and should have that clean cut look that people respect. Unitas, Manning, Brady, even Russell Wilson (who I may add beat Kaepernick just this past January) all look professional, don't have tattoo sleeves and carry themselves a certain way.

I just want my QB to be more concerned about his team and winning Super Bowls than he is with his Beats Music commercials or how flat his oversized hat bill is. Is that asking too much?

I just want my QB to be perfecting his timing route or his fade pass in the end zone (that Richard Sherman famously jumped) rather than be worried about whether he can shoehorn another splotchy, illegible tattoo onto his bicep.

And if I am paying a guy a hundred million dollars, I want to know that he can win the biggest game of the year, rather than throw a terrible pass to seal the loss and then show no emotion. It's okay Colin, you still have your giant hat.

Today's extension ensures Colin will have a lifetime of oversized hats. But will he be able to fill them with Super Bowl trophies? Or will he just continue to be Colin Kaepercan't...the 100 million dollar QB incapable of leading his team to the big win.

I know which way I think this is going to go.
:lmao:

 
Love that tat take by the way.

There is no way I'd pay someone that heavily tatted that kind of money.

If for no other reason that it doesn't help my argument to my son (to keep him tat free) when I tell him the average income of a tatted person is far less than a non-tatted person.

 
The FFA is reporting that, apparently, countries don't want to host the Olympics any more.

I shed a tear into my Fair Trade coffee this morning, as I wept for the future of sport.

The Olympics are a beacon of purity in this otherwise infested sporting landscape. Fans these days need the quick fix of the modern day gladiator arena that is the the NFL. College athletics were soiled by greed long ago, and if TV ratings are any indication, that's just fine by fans. The star culture of the NBA is growing like wildfire as me-first player antics have simply become the norm. In baseball, it's all about the bat flipping, HR pimping and chain popping, and I doubt Whitey Ford even recognizes his beloved game anymore.

Now, nobody even has the time to care about the Olympics anymore. No room for the history and the pageantry. Not in our city. True amateurs devoting their entire lives for that one moment they'll cherish for the rest of their lives? Doesn't even move the needle anymore. Not worth investment they say. What's more important to invest in than the celebration of the pursuit of human excellence?

Nothing is sacred anymore in the world of sport.

 
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It occurred to me the other day that most MLB hitters are hitting about .250 or so.

So 75% of the time they record an out.

Essentially this means that them getting a hit is the equivalent of your AK all-in getting beat my AJ or something like that... it's essentially a bad beat.

Basically almost every hit in baseball is essentially a bad beat.

I hate bad beats.

So now even when I watch my hometown team I can't root for the batter... every game should really be a no-hitter for both teams... effin' bad beats
I hate this criticism of running backs in the NFL as weak just because they have a low yards-per-carry. Math nerds have ruined football. RUINED IT.

Look, the worst starting running back in the league, according to those SPORTS NERDS, was Ray Rice. Those NERDS have him valued at -169 points, whatever that means. Negative points?! What does that even mean? How is that possible? How does a guy score negative points anyway?

Listen up, because I'm about to drop some knowledge on y'all ears and I want you to hear it. Ray Rice got 214 carries last year, and toted the rock a total 660 yards. Now, what these SPORTS NERDS won't tell you, is that means, on average, he went over 3 yards per carry. THREE YARDS PER CARRY. Do you know how many downs you get in football, sports NERDS? FOUR.

Do I have to spell it out? Three yards per carry. First down, 3 yards. Second down, 6 yards. Third down, 9 yards. Now, it's 4th-and-1, and you've got a guy who is gonna get you THREE YARDS every time he touches the ball. Give it to him again, and it's FIRST DOWN. Guess what? Just keep doing that every drive on every possession, and even RAY FREAKING RICE will carry the ball into the end zone. Three yards at a time.

But noooooooo-ooooooooo. The SPORTS NERDS want you to think going for it on 4th down is a bad idea because they've done some mumbo-jumbo thing they just created called "regression analysis" or "defense adjusted yards over Minne Minoso" or some other FAKE STATISTIC that they totally made up just to prove some fictitious point and support their idiotic opinion. It's wrong. Nerds don't have the guts to go for it on 4th down and they're just afraid to say it.

They make up some kind of ridiculous math to tell you that Ray Rice, who was a PRO BOWLER and is a stand-up guy and never shot anybody, never stabbed anybody, doesn't go out there and make waves and get all the flashy headlines, isn't just a great football player. I can do SIMPLE MATH and tell you 3 yards at a time is all you need to score on every drive, and if that's what Ray Rice can promise you, the coach is a fool for not doing it because these stupid geeks on their laptops who never played a down of football, not in the pros, not in college, not in high school, not in PEE-WEE FREAKING FOOTBALL even, but they own their favorite Fantasy Football player's jersey and they wear them to their fake "Fantasy Drafts" with their laptops with all the other pasty nerds who never got girls in high school, they say Ray Rice will score you NEGATIVE ONE HUNDRED SIXTY NINE POINTS when I just proved all he does is get first down after first down after first down and then a touchdown go to the Pro Bowl for it.

Nerds.
:goodposting: nerds are ruining sports IMO

 
MY COLUMN:

Reports today are that Colin Kaepernick just signed an extension for 6 years at over 100 million dollars.

Can you believe that? What is that, 2000 dollars for each overthrown pass? 1000 dollars for each tattoo?

Has the Aaron Hernandez saga taught us nothing about extending guys with that many tattoos?

Look you can say what you want, but a quarterback is a leader and should have that clean cut look that people respect. Unitas, Manning, Brady, even Russell Wilson (who I may add beat Kaepernick just this past January) all look professional, don't have tattoo sleeves and carry themselves a certain way.

I just want my QB to be more concerned about his team and winning Super Bowls than he is with his Beats Music commercials or how flat his oversized hat bill is. Is that asking too much?

I just want my QB to be perfecting his timing route or his fade pass in the end zone (that Richard Sherman famously jumped) rather than be worried about whether he can shoehorn another splotchy, illegible tattoo onto his bicep.

And if I am paying a guy a hundred million dollars, I want to know that he can win the biggest game of the year, rather than throw a terrible pass to seal the loss and then show no emotion. It's okay Colin, you still have your giant hat.

Today's extension ensures Colin will have a lifetime of oversized hats. But will he be able to fill them with Super Bowl trophies? Or will he just continue to be Colin Kaepercan't...the 100 million dollar QB incapable of leading his team to the big win.

I know which way I think this is going to go.
Rack him
 
Yasiel Puig was late to Batting Practice today. This on the one-year anniversary of his debut in the major leagues.

Some guys just don't get it. Yes, Puig has overcome many hardships in his life and a treacherous migration here to America.

But he now has the privilege to play a game and the chance to be paid handsomely to do so. By not taking this seriously, he is basically thumbing his nose at all of his countrymen who were not so lucky and must continue to live under a repressive, life-threatening regime.

That is, assuming that he stops foolishly sliding into first base so that he even has a good thumb left.
Puig is somewhere between the 3rd and 1st best baseball player on earth, I wouldn't worry about 1 batting practice.

 
Premier, please write a take on the Qatar situation hosting the WC :)
MY COLUMN:

They say money can't buy you happiness. But if hosting a World Cup is happiness then those people are wrong.

News came out recently that a representative of the Qatar World Cup Committee bribed multiple FIFA officials for their vote on the 2022 World Cup.

What has this world come to? Is this what we want out of our major sporting events? It used to be that the Olympics and World Cup were pure sport. The definition of sport. Athletes giving it their all and laying their hearts and souls on the line for their country.

Now all it is is crooks laying dollar and cents on the line for an opportunity for their country to host these shams.

Personally I'm appalled. I know that the rosey portrait of sports being about SPORTS is just a pipe dream now but this is going too far. Heck just in the time it took you to read this column an average of 3 Qatar stadium workers died building one of their arenas that will be never used again post-2022.

And if you want to say hey Premier that's a callous comment, well maybe you're right. But maybe YOU and ALL OF US are the problem.

See in this world nowadays we demand more out of athletes than we did in my dad's age. It used to be Mickey and the Duke could go to the local watering hole and unwind after a game, but no more. No, we made sports bigger than life, which put the athletes on a platform and began a spiral that kept going out of control to the point where we have people bribing officials to build a bunch of stadiums that are killing workers in oppressive heat.

That's not the sports world I grew up with.

That's not the sports world I want to be a part of.

I think I'm going to go read a book tonight instead.

 
MY COLUMN:

Oh good the World Cup is almost here again. That means 3 weeks of Americans pretending they care about soccer before we go back to watching NFL OTA's and checking TMZ for celebrity nudes.

The angry American soccer mob will say that the sport is growing here but we all know that isn't really true. Sure there is more soccer on tv now than there was 20 years ago, but that's just because there are more channels to fill. There are more cooking shows on the air now too.

But that doesn't mean I'm going to watch 3 straight weeks of Bobby Flay and Emeril having a cook-off either.

I'm happy that you're excited you get to see Nehmar and Nehmar II and the rest of the Brazilian team that you will google on your iPhone to sound smart at the water cooler. But I'm not interested. See where I'm from I want my sports to have scoring and some offense and frankly, no vuvuzelas.

I mean what does that say about a sport that it is so boring that people need to sing and drink all match?

People around the world criticize America for our lack of interest in the sport. They say we don't care enough and we don't develop players and you know what? They're right. And I'm proud of that. If I wanted to like soccer and weird cheeses and getting steamrolled by the German Army I would move to France.

As it is, I'm happy here. The hot dogs are on the grill and the Brewers are on the tv. Maybe that makes me a simple American but I'm guessing if you're being honest with yourself you feel the same way.

Wake me up when the World Cup is over and we can go back to caring about the real sports. In the meantime, pass the ketchup.

 
Must.....stop.....writing takes
You don't just quit when you're in the zone.
Ok why not.

MY COLUMN:

A judge declared recently that Northwestern University football players could unionize, and in theory, could eventually be compensated financially for the sport they play.

Oh I'm sorry were they not being compensated already?

Was the tuition and room and board not compensation? Was the free food and the easy grades (wink wink) and the diploma that sets you up career-wise not compensation?

I don't know about any of you but I had to pay and WORK for my degree. I guess that's just not the case anymore.

Unless you can throw or catch a football that is. What a disgrace.

I know what you're saying. The players work hard on the field and the schools make a lot of money so why shouldn't some of it be given back?

But college football became popular in this country because it was one of the last bastions of amateur sport. Long after the Olympics let in Lebron James and Andre Agassi and every other pro with a Nike swoosh chained to his chest, there was still the NCAA, holding down the fort for those of us who just care about the product on the field and the names on the front of the jersey.

The Golden Domers? Heh. How about the Golden Wallets?

Johnny Football? Pftt. How about Johnny Trademark?

We all know money takes the passion out of sports. If you start paying college players all of a sudden you'll have another soulless bunch of gypsies, selling themselves to the highest bidder.

Do you really want to see the University of Alabama become the New York Yankees?

It used to be that college coaches would have to swoop into a student's home, try the mom's apple pie and sell the family on how he was going to protect their baby during his formative adult years. It was a trust built on honesty and love.

Now though, all these snake oil salesmen need to do is park the helicopter out front on the lawn and show up with the biggest bag of money.

I suggest drawing two dollar signs on the bag coach. It'll look bigger that way.

One day we'll look back on this as the turning point for when the NCAA lost its soul and stopped being about the game and started being about the money.

I'm going to go out back and have a catch with my kid. Hopefully he doesn't charge me for it.

 
I'd like to hear about the good old days when you played baseball at the park with the gang in the neighborhood and everything was pure.

 
Don't stop. Glen Rice didn't pull himself from that All-Star game when he scored 37 points or whatever in a half, and you can't pull yourself from this thread. Do more.

Don't you hate pants?

 
I thought briefly about writing my own, but really what's the point?

Great thread. I'm dyin here...

 
Compared to the hustle and bustle of the Windy City 13 miles to the south, Evanston, Illinois is a peaceful place. The students at Evanston's Northwestern University - average SAT score 1460 - would probably call it "bucolic". But the football team up in bucolic Evanston is disturbing the peace, trying to change the way college football players and classified and compensated.

The football team is considering forming a labor union.

That's right. A labor union.



80 players on the Northwestern football team are on full scholarship. That means they get to go to one of the best colleges in the world for free: studying under some of academia's greatest minds at no charge, along with free books, free meals, free tutors, and free housing. But that's not enough for these entitled young men.

You know what tuition costs at Northwestern if you can't run a 4.4 40 or bench press the team bus? $45,000. $45,000! That's more than the average American makes in a year. Apparently that's not enough for these gentle giants of the gridiron.

It's not enough that the quarterback gets to pretend he's Sammy Baugh twelve Saturdays each fall. Now he wants to pretend he's Samuel Gompers, too.

News flash: college isn't just about those four (or five) years of your life. They are about preparing yourself for the next 40 or 50. Be thankful that you get a free education from one of the greatest institutions of higher learning ever built. If you spent your time doing your homework instead of whining about only making 50 grand for playing football twelve weeks a year, that 50 grand will seem like peanuts down the road.

ETA: Dammit! Premier is on fire with those HOT SPORTS TAKES.

 
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Bruce Dickinson said:
Compared to the hustle and bustle of the Windy City 13 miles to the south, Evanston, Illinois is a peaceful place. The students at Evanston's Northwestern University - average SAT score 1460 - would probably call it "bucolic". But the football team up in bucolic Evanston is disturbing the peace, trying to change the way college football players and classified and compensated.

The football team is considering forming a labor union.

That's right. A labor union.



80 players on the Northwestern football team are on full scholarship. That means they get to go to one of the best colleges in the world for free: studying under some of academia's greatest minds at no charge, along with free books, free meals, free tutors, and free housing. But that's not enough for these entitled young men.

You know what tuition costs at Northwestern if you can't run a 4.4 40 or bench press the team bus? $45,000. $45,000! That's more than the average American makes in a year. Apparently that's not enough for these gentle giants of the gridiron.

It's not enough that the quarterback gets to pretend he's Sammy Baugh twelve Saturdays each fall. Now he wants to pretend he's Samuel Gompers, too.

News flash: college isn't just about those four (or five) years of your life. They are about preparing yourself for the next 40 or 50. Be thankful that you get a free education from one of the greatest institutions of higher learning ever built. If you spent your time doing your homework instead of whining about only making 50 grand for playing football twelve weeks a year, that 50 grand will seem like peanuts down the road.
:goodposting: scorching

 

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