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Women acting shocked they have to pay at the registers..... (1 Viewer)

STEADYMOBBIN 22

STEADYMOBBIN 22

Footballguy
This is most prevalent at grocery stores, but happens everywhere. Why do women always wait until the entire order is rung up and the total is presented to them before they act shocked and only then do they go to the pocketbook????

Like women themselves, it's so stupid and annoying.

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
This is most prevalent at grocery stores, but happens everywhere. Why do women always wait until the entire order is rung up and the total is presented to them before they act shocked and only then do they go to the pocketbook????

Like women themselves, it's so stupid and annoying.
Click to expand...
Ex used to do this coming home every day. Get out of the car. Put her keys in her purse. Walk to the front door of her house. Gets all the way to the door, then stops. Oh, wait, I need keys. Starts digging though the purse for the keys which now are at the bottom and under a thousand other things.

:wall:

Plan ahead just eleven seconds, ladies

 
Sarnoff said:
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
This is most prevalent at grocery stores, but happens everywhere. Why do women always wait until the entire order is rung up and the total is presented to them before they act shocked and only then do they go to the pocketbook????

Like women themselves, it's so stupid and annoying.
Click to expand...
Ex used to do this coming home every day. Get out of the car. Put her keys in her purse. Walk to the front door of her house. Gets all the way to the door, then stops. Oh, wait, I need keys. Starts digging though the purse for the keys which now are at the bottom and under a thousand other things.

:wall:

Plan ahead just eleven seconds, ladies
Click to expand...
You did the right thing.

 
My wife always has her card swiped, PIN entered and is just waiting for the cashier to finish scanning and approve.

At the grocery store today with my daughter the woman is in front of me was using a coupon or WIC or something and I had to stand there waiting forever while she kept sending her son back to get the "right" box of cereal that was covered. Took the kid like 3 tries. Apparently the only way he resembled Stephen Hawking was his inability to walk quickly anywhere.

 
GroveDiesel said:
My wife always has her card swiped, PIN entered and is just waiting for the cashier to finish scanning and approve.

At the grocery store today with my daughter the woman is in front of me was using a coupon or WIC or something and I had to stand there waiting forever while she kept sending her son back to get the "right" box of cereal that was covered. Took the kid like 3 tries. Apparently the only way he resembled Stephen Hawking was his inability to walk quickly anywhere.
Click to expand...
Your wife sounds hot.

 
GroveDiesel said:
My wife always has her card swiped, PIN entered and is just waiting for the cashier to finish scanning and approve.
Click to expand...
That reminds me of one. That people that use those cards, which apparently only cover certain items. So, you wait for those items to be rung up, paid for and bagged. Then they start doing the OTHER group of items that couldn't go on the card. Then they dig out the change purse to get out the $14 in dimes, nickels and the occasional quarter to pay for those items. Then the BF decides he needs a pack of smokes, which sends the cashier on a five minute hunt for a manager with a key. I have to fight the urge to just sucker punch these people.

 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
GroveDiesel said:
My wife always has her card swiped, PIN entered and is just waiting for the cashier to finish scanning and approve.

At the grocery store today with my daughter the woman is in front of me was using a coupon or WIC or something and I had to stand there waiting forever while she kept sending her son back to get the "right" box of cereal that was covered. Took the kid like 3 tries. Apparently the only way he resembled Stephen Hawking was his inability to walk quickly anywhere.
Click to expand...
Your wife sounds hot.
Click to expand...
It's negated whenever she pays with cash and has to sort through both of her change purses for exact change. Yes. Both. Because of course she needs one for quarters, dimes and nickels and another one just for pennies.

 
GroveDiesel said:
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
GroveDiesel said:
My wife always has her card swiped, PIN entered and is just waiting for the cashier to finish scanning and approve.

At the grocery store today with my daughter the woman is in front of me was using a coupon or WIC or something and I had to stand there waiting forever while she kept sending her son back to get the "right" box of cereal that was covered. Took the kid like 3 tries. Apparently the only way he resembled Stephen Hawking was his inability to walk quickly anywhere.
Click to expand...
Your wife sounds hot.
Click to expand...
It's negated whenever she pays with cash and has to sort through both of her change purses for exact change. Yes. Both. Because of course she needs one for quarters, dimes and nickels and another one just for pennies.
Click to expand...
I no longer have the desire to sleep with your stupid wife.ETA- That was rude. I still want to sleep with your wife.

 
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Women just have way more on their minds than men do. It's not that they're stupid, they just have at least 100x more thoughts going on than we do at any given moment. So they come off as air-headed or ditzy to us simple menfolk when we see them at a cash register completely clueless that they're going to have to pay for their purchase until the VERY moment when the clerk says, "Ma'am... Um, Ma'am?". But men are honestly only able to plan ahead so efficiently because we're not capable of the complicated thought patterns that women are.

I mean, I can't even imagine having to process and analyze every single conversation I took part in for the day, plus judge all of my coworkers outfits, and then calculate the exact amount of weight that Becky has put on since October, plus contemplate the fact that Jessica actually wore those shoes today (what a slut), and then try to figure out who is going to win The Bachelor this season, as well as internally debate whether I should dye my hair brown or red - but wait, when is my mani scheduled for again, maybe I should match my hair to my nails - oh, but I just got that new dress and I'd look sooooo good with brown hair in that dress, ugh, but I'm going to need to get tights, do they have tights at grocery stores? I don't know, I could've picked some up, maybe I should go look real quick while he's ringing these up, ...and so and so forth. ALL IN 10 SECONDS!

I'm telling you, it's a whole other level of brain activity. Men can't even comprehend it. Layers upon layers upon layers flashing by in an instant. We're absolutely incapable of even understanding their brilliance. And the end result is that we come off as being the smarter of the species because in our simplicity we excel at having a credit card ready before someone asks for it, or getting the friggin' keys out before we walk up to a door. But make no mistake, during those 10 seconds that you have to wait for her to fumble through her purse, her brain just ran laps around yours. Simpleton.

 
Wyld Stallyns said:
Women just have way more on their minds than men do. It's not that they're stupid, they just have at least 100x more thoughts going on than we do at any given moment. So they come off as air-headed or ditzy to us simple menfolk when we see them at a cash register completely clueless that they're going to have to pay for their purchase until the VERY moment when the clerk says, "Ma'am... Um, Ma'am?". But men are honestly only able to plan ahead so efficiently because we're not capable of the complicated thought patterns that women are.

I mean, I can't even imagine having to process and analyze every single conversation I took part in for the day, plus judge all of my coworkers outfits, and then calculate the exact amount of weight that Becky has put on since October, plus contemplate the fact that Jessica actually wore those shoes today (what a slut), and then try to figure out who is going to win The Bachelor this season, as well as internally debate whether I should dye my hair brown or red - but wait, when is my mani scheduled for again, maybe I should match my hair to my nails - oh, but I just got that new dress and I'd look sooooo good with brown hair in that dress, ugh, but I'm going to need to get tights, do they have tights at grocery stores? I don't know, I could've picked some up, maybe I should go look real quick while he's ringing these up, ...and so and so forth. ALL IN 10 SECONDS!

I'm telling you, it's a whole other level of brain activity. Men can't even comprehend it. Layers upon layers upon layers flashing by in an instant. We're absolutely incapable of even understanding their brilliance. And the end result is that we come off as being the smarter of the species because in our simplicity we excel at having a credit card ready before someone asks for it, or getting the friggin' keys out before we walk up to a door. But make no mistake, during those 10 seconds that you have to wait for her to fumble through her purse, her brain just ran laps around yours. Simpleton.
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao:

 
GroveDiesel said:
My wife always has her card swiped, PIN entered and is just waiting for the cashier to finish scanning and approve.

At the grocery store today with my daughter the woman is in front of me was using a coupon or WIC or something and I had to stand there waiting forever while she kept sending her son back to get the "right" box of cereal that was covered. Took the kid like 3 tries. Apparently the only way he resembled Stephen Hawking was his inability to walk quickly anywhere.
Click to expand...
I fully support separate-but-equal WIC/EBT grocery stores.

 
Gawain said:
GroveDiesel said:
My wife always has her card swiped, PIN entered and is just waiting for the cashier to finish scanning and approve.

At the grocery store today with my daughter the woman is in front of me was using a coupon or WIC or something and I had to stand there waiting forever while she kept sending her son back to get the "right" box of cereal that was covered. Took the kid like 3 tries. Apparently the only way he resembled Stephen Hawking was his inability to walk quickly anywhere.
Click to expand...
I fully support separate-but-equal WIC/EBT grocery stores.
Click to expand...
Maybe a "special line just for them ".
 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
Gawain said:
GroveDiesel said:
My wife always has her card swiped, PIN entered and is just waiting for the cashier to finish scanning and approve.

At the grocery store today with my daughter the woman is in front of me was using a coupon or WIC or something and I had to stand there waiting forever while she kept sending her son back to get the "right" box of cereal that was covered. Took the kid like 3 tries. Apparently the only way he resembled Stephen Hawking was his inability to walk quickly anywhere.
Click to expand...
I fully support separate-but-equal WIC/EBT grocery stores.
Click to expand...
Maybe a "special line just for them ".
Click to expand...
I'd settle to just make the WIC/EBT folks go to the back of the line...or maybe just have to shop in the back of the store.

 
Sarnoff said:
Plan ahead just eleven seconds, ladies
Click to expand...
Nothing like driving somewhere and arriving at your destination, throwing it in park, taking out the keys and seeing that all the women in the car are just now starting to gather their things, put their shoes back on, etc. It's like, this is our house, you didn't realize that turning onto this street meant we were almost there?

And how does the additional 10 seconds required to pull down your pants and sit down make it take 5 minutes longer to pee?

 
Having sex with a woman is like having sex with all the thoughts she had that day.

That's kind of hot actually.

 
FreeBaGeL said:
Sarnoff said:
Plan ahead just eleven seconds, ladies
Click to expand...
Nothing like driving somewhere and arriving at your destination, throwing it in park, taking out the keys and seeing that all the women in the car are just now starting to gather their things, put their shoes back on, etc. It's like, this is our house, you didn't realize that turning onto this street meant we were almost there?
Click to expand...
Was going to post this exact thing. I've started reminding my wife to get ready to get out when i'm in a hurry.

 
FreeBaGeL said:
Sarnoff said:
Plan ahead just eleven seconds, ladies
Click to expand...
Nothing like driving somewhere and arriving at your destination, throwing it in park, taking out the keys and seeing that all the women in the car are just now starting to gather their things, put their shoes back on, etc. It's like, this is our house, you didn't realize that turning onto this street meant we were almost there?

And how does the additional 10 seconds required to pull down your pants and sit down make it take 5 minutes longer to pee?
Click to expand...
Because there are no urinals. So you have the women that are dropping a deuce and peeing all waiting on the same stalls. Throw in the extra 10 seconds for each person and it adds up.

Regarding your first point though I simply can't figure this out. We just got back from disney and my wife recently had surgery on her foot. So we tried to limit her walking. So when we got back to the hotel I would drop her off at the lobby and go park. It is no secret when you are approaching animal kingdom lodge. You have to go through a security gate. Then turn right at a big sign. Then go right to go toward the lobby passing all the big huge disney buses. Then you see the huge awning.

Every time, waited to gather her things until we were stopped. We were never in any kind of hurry so it didnt bother me one bit, just found it funny how much of a surprise it was sometimes. What I find very funny is after we had been parked there a bit she obviously realized she was taking a while, because she would apologize every time.

 
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It definitely is not just women and I love to pile on them when opportunity arises but this is not just a female thing. I will say there is a certain age range. I can handle it when the truly old woman waits and then pulls out her debit card or GASP a checkbook. I blame myself for getting behind the woman age 78 with a cart full of groceries, that's on me.

What kills you is the women who are about 45-65, these females are about as useful as a 1-armed wallpaper hanger. They wait and then they gotta ask for playback to see what everything rang out at, then eventually they reach for the purse and open the zipper, then they rummage thru there to find the card, they pull it out and kind of hold it up because they might not have the right one in hand, then it takes them a few swipes to have the card read, many times the assistance of the check out clerk is needed.

Then they want to read off the choices on the ATM/debit machine out loud in case anything has changed since the last time they went shopping. There always is a long pause delay when the choice comes up to "Process Transaction" as their is a countdown that rivals most space shuttle lift offs before we can proceed.

I myself swipe the card after the 1st grocery is scanned, my little card swipe machine always says "Waiting on register" meaning I have gone as far as I can go until the clerk is finished ringing up the groceries, then I hit a button once and we are on our way. I pride myself in getting in and out of the grocery store as fast as possible and the checkout process taking the least amount of time. One of the ways I shop is that I typically only buy 1-2 days worth of food, goes to waste otherwise. I am at the grocery store 3-5 times a week for different things but when I check out I usually have less than 10 items and I head straight for customer service where they have 1 lone little register open for when they are not selling lottery tickets and cigarettes so I whip thru there in under 2 minutes and am on my way much to the chagrin of others back in the traditional check out lines.

Anyone who makes a federal case out of retail situations like I do has given up trying to change people in these type of situations so instead we figure out the absolute fastest way to get thru these situations and exploit self reliance!

 
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Jayrod said:
FreeBaGeL said:
Sarnoff said:
Plan ahead just eleven seconds, ladies
Click to expand...
Nothing like driving somewhere and arriving at your destination, throwing it in park, taking out the keys and seeing that all the women in the car are just now starting to gather their things, put their shoes back on, etc. It's like, this is our house, you didn't realize that turning onto this street meant we were almost there?
Click to expand...
Was going to post this exact thing. I've started reminding my wife to get ready to get out when i'm in a hurry.
Click to expand...
Drives me nuts. My car has a push-button start and push-button locks -- the keys never come out of my pocket, they just have to be in proximity of the door handle when I hit the lock button on the handle. The only catch is, all of the doors have to be closed in order to lock. So EVERY. #######. TIME. I'm standing outside the car with my finger on the button like an ####### while she's still sitting there checking her hair in the mirror.
 
Gawain said:
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
Gawain said:
GroveDiesel said:
My wife always has her card swiped, PIN entered and is just waiting for the cashier to finish scanning and approve.

At the grocery store today with my daughter the woman is in front of me was using a coupon or WIC or something and I had to stand there waiting forever while she kept sending her son back to get the "right" box of cereal that was covered. Took the kid like 3 tries. Apparently the only way he resembled Stephen Hawking was his inability to walk quickly anywhere.
Click to expand...
I fully support separate-but-equal WIC/EBT grocery stores.
Click to expand...
Maybe a "special line just for them ".
Click to expand...
I'd settle to just make the WIC/EBT folks go to the back of the line...or maybe just have to shop in the back of the store.
Click to expand...
Or they can only shop on Sundays between 4-8am

 
MaxThreshold said:
Wyld Stallyns said:
Women just have way more on their minds than men do. It's not that they're stupid, they just have at least 100x more thoughts going on than we do at any given moment. So they come off as air-headed or ditzy to us simple menfolk when we see them at a cash register completely clueless that they're going to have to pay for their purchase until the VERY moment when the clerk says, "Ma'am... Um, Ma'am?". But men are honestly only able to plan ahead so efficiently because we're not capable of the complicated thought patterns that women are.

I mean, I can't even imagine having to process and analyze every single conversation I took part in for the day, plus judge all of my coworkers outfits, and then calculate the exact amount of weight that Becky has put on since October, plus contemplate the fact that Jessica actually wore those shoes today (what a slut), and then try to figure out who is going to win The Bachelor this season, as well as internally debate whether I should dye my hair brown or red - but wait, when is my mani scheduled for again, maybe I should match my hair to my nails - oh, but I just got that new dress and I'd look sooooo good with brown hair in that dress, ugh, but I'm going to need to get tights, do they have tights at grocery stores? I don't know, I could've picked some up, maybe I should go look real quick while he's ringing these up, ...and so and so forth. ALL IN 10 SECONDS!

I'm telling you, it's a whole other level of brain activity. Men can't even comprehend it. Layers upon layers upon layers flashing by in an instant. We're absolutely incapable of even understanding their brilliance. And the end result is that we come off as being the smarter of the species because in our simplicity we excel at having a credit card ready before someone asks for it, or getting the friggin' keys out before we walk up to a door. But make no mistake, during those 10 seconds that you have to wait for her to fumble through her purse, her brain just ran laps around yours. Simpleton.
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao:
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 
My (least) favorite is going through the drive thru.

Me: What do you want?

Her: Pull up, I can't see the menu.

Me: :mellow: It's McDonalds, menu hasn't changed.

Worker: What can I get for you

Me: Sigh... just a minute.

Worker: Go ahead whenever you're ready.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Her (after staring at it for 30 seconds): Ummm.. get me a filet o fish with extra tartar sauce.

Me (to myself): Same as the last 50 times? Shocking!

 
Sweet J said:
MaxThreshold said:
Wyld Stallyns said:
Women just have way more on their minds than men do. It's not that they're stupid, they just have at least 100x more thoughts going on than we do at any given moment. So they come off as air-headed or ditzy to us simple menfolk when we see them at a cash register completely clueless that they're going to have to pay for their purchase until the VERY moment when the clerk says, "Ma'am... Um, Ma'am?". But men are honestly only able to plan ahead so efficiently because we're not capable of the complicated thought patterns that women are.

I mean, I can't even imagine having to process and analyze every single conversation I took part in for the day, plus judge all of my coworkers outfits, and then calculate the exact amount of weight that Becky has put on since October, plus contemplate the fact that Jessica actually wore those shoes today (what a slut), and then try to figure out who is going to win The Bachelor this season, as well as internally debate whether I should dye my hair brown or red - but wait, when is my mani scheduled for again, maybe I should match my hair to my nails - oh, but I just got that new dress and I'd look sooooo good with brown hair in that dress, ugh, but I'm going to need to get tights, do they have tights at grocery stores? I don't know, I could've picked some up, maybe I should go look real quick while he's ringing these up, ...and so and so forth. ALL IN 10 SECONDS!

I'm telling you, it's a whole other level of brain activity. Men can't even comprehend it. Layers upon layers upon layers flashing by in an instant. We're absolutely incapable of even understanding their brilliance. And the end result is that we come off as being the smarter of the species because in our simplicity we excel at having a credit card ready before someone asks for it, or getting the friggin' keys out before we walk up to a door. But make no mistake, during those 10 seconds that you have to wait for her to fumble through her purse, her brain just ran laps around yours. Simpleton.
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao:
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Click to expand...
What a great post. Nailed it.

 
Wyld Stallyns said:
Women just have way more on their minds than men do. It's not that they're stupid, they just have at least 100x more thoughts going on than we do at any given moment. So they come off as air-headed or ditzy to us simple menfolk when we see them at a cash register completely clueless that they're going to have to pay for their purchase until the VERY moment when the clerk says, "Ma'am... Um, Ma'am?". But men are honestly only able to plan ahead so efficiently because we're not capable of the complicated thought patterns that women are.

I mean, I can't even imagine having to process and analyze every single conversation I took part in for the day, plus judge all of my coworkers outfits, and then calculate the exact amount of weight that Becky has put on since October, plus contemplate the fact that Jessica actually wore those shoes today (what a slut), and then try to figure out who is going to win The Bachelor this season, as well as internally debate whether I should dye my hair brown or red - but wait, when is my mani scheduled for again, maybe I should match my hair to my nails - oh, but I just got that new dress and I'd look sooooo good with brown hair in that dress, ugh, but I'm going to need to get tights, do they have tights at grocery stores? I don't know, I could've picked some up, maybe I should go look real quick while he's ringing these up, ...and so and so forth. ALL IN 10 SECONDS!

I'm telling you, it's a whole other level of brain activity. Men can't even comprehend it. Layers upon layers upon layers flashing by in an instant. We're absolutely incapable of even understanding their brilliance. And the end result is that we come off as being the smarter of the species because in our simplicity we excel at having a credit card ready before someone asks for it, or getting the friggin' keys out before we walk up to a door. But make no mistake, during those 10 seconds that you have to wait for her to fumble through her purse, her brain just ran laps around yours. Simpleton.
Click to expand...
And, not one thought of sex in there.

 
Ministry of Pain said:
It definitely is not just women and I love to pile on them when opportunity arises but this is not just a female thing. I will say there is a certain age range. I can handle it when the truly old woman waits and then pulls out her debit card or GASP a checkbook. I blame myself for getting behind the woman age 78 with a cart full of groceries, that's on me.

What kills you is the women who are about 45-65, these females are about as useful as a 1-armed wallpaper hanger. They wait and then they gotta ask for playback to see what everything rang out at, then eventually they reach for the purse and open the zipper, then they rummage thru there to find the card, they pull it out and kind of hold it up because they might not have the right one in hand, then it takes them a few swipes to have the card read, many times the assistance of the check out clerk is needed.
Click to expand...
They learn this at an early age. I work at a busy joint, waiting on 20-somethings, and they can order 4 drinks, and 4 shots, and then get completely thrown off guard when a number is tossed at them.

The other major difference is guys, at any moment, can tell you exactly on their person, where their money or debit card it. Women have a vague idea that is might be in their purse.

 
Scoresman said:
Captain Quinoa said:
Scoresman said:
who the #### orders filet-o-fish at MCDonalds?
Click to expand...
My wife apparently. Where do you order it?
Click to expand...
I got one once on accident because they gave me the wrong order. I decided to try it rather go through the trouble of going back and it was the most vile thing I've ever eaten. I'm convinced that anyone who orders it doesn't know any better and hasn't really tried much else.
Click to expand...
Oh I agree. I think most everything at McD is vile. She loves them for some reason. And dont' forget the extra tartar sauce!!!

 
Scoresman said:
Captain Quinoa said:
Scoresman said:
who the #### orders filet-o-fish at MCDonalds?
Click to expand...
My wife apparently. Where do you order it?
Click to expand...
I got one once on accident because they gave me the wrong order. I decided to try it rather go through the trouble of going back and it was the most vile thing I've ever eaten. I'm convinced that anyone who orders it doesn't know any better and hasn't really tried much else.
Click to expand...
Your just ordering it wrong it sounds like. First, you have to ask for a double fillet o fish. Then tell them to hold the tartar and bun. Next step is to replace the fish withs 2 whopper patties. Ask for Gorgonzola cheese. HMMM goood!!!

 
That's nothing...pull into the parking lot and wait for that same chick to pull out so you can have the spot.

I will drive past a woman getting into her car and look for a guy with a full cart just heading to his car instead...because I know he'll be faster loading up his car, putting the cart back, getting in and driving away than most women will be just simply hopping in their car.

I don't know what they do in there but every time...they get in...and start fumbling with stuff like they're relearning how to start the car and put it in reverse. I assume we're in the Matrix and they have to download driving lessons or something. Or maybe they're finishing up a novel or maybe pulling a Rambo and stitching up a knife wound.

Drives me crazy.

And then when they finally put it in reverse... we're subjected to the twenty point turn just so they can maneuver out of the space. YOU'RE SIX FEET AWAY FROM THAT BUMPER, just cut the wheel and put it in drive. No, NO...don't pull back in...you've got it...DAMN!

I feel like they need one of those guys on the airport tarmac with the dual flashlights to help guide them out.

I'm calling it now... The guy who creates a mirror that allows for women's strange depth perception will be a billionaire and a celebrated humanitarian.

And I'm calling BS before anyone comes in here to claim their wife doesn't do this. They all do it...even Danica Patrick.

 
Wyld Stallyns said:
Women just have way more on their minds than men do. It's not that they're stupid, they just have at least 100x more thoughts going on than we do at any given moment. So they come off as air-headed or ditzy to us simple menfolk when we see them at a cash register completely clueless that they're going to have to pay for their purchase until the VERY moment when the clerk says, "Ma'am... Um, Ma'am?". But men are honestly only able to plan ahead so efficiently because we're not capable of the complicated thought patterns that women are.

I mean, I can't even imagine having to process and analyze every single conversation I took part in for the day, plus judge all of my coworkers outfits, and then calculate the exact amount of weight that Becky has put on since October, plus contemplate the fact that Jessica actually wore those shoes today (what a slut), and then try to figure out who is going to win The Bachelor this season, as well as internally debate whether I should dye my hair brown or red - but wait, when is my mani scheduled for again, maybe I should match my hair to my nails - oh, but I just got that new dress and I'd look sooooo good with brown hair in that dress, ugh, but I'm going to need to get tights, do they have tights at grocery stores? I don't know, I could've picked some up, maybe I should go look real quick while he's ringing these up, ...and so and so forth. ALL IN 10 SECONDS!

I'm telling you, it's a whole other level of brain activity. Men can't even comprehend it. Layers upon layers upon layers flashing by in an instant. We're absolutely incapable of even understanding their brilliance. And the end result is that we come off as being the smarter of the species because in our simplicity we excel at having a credit card ready before someone asks for it, or getting the friggin' keys out before we walk up to a door. But make no mistake, during those 10 seconds that you have to wait for her to fumble through her purse, her brain just ran laps around yours. Simpleton.
Click to expand...
Nice work here :thumbup:

 
Well, im puzzled by how they can take a dump faster than any of the above mentioned activities.

eta: And dishwashers. man. dishwashers. Its like they purposefully try to fit as little as possible in them.

 
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Captain Quinoa said:
My (least) favorite is going through the drive thru.

Me: What do you want?

Her: Pull up, I can't see the menu.

Me: :mellow: It's McDonalds, menu hasn't changed.

Worker: What can I get for you

Me: Sigh... just a minute.

Worker: Go ahead whenever you're ready.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Her (after staring at it for 30 seconds): Ummm.. get me a filet o fish with extra tartar sauce.

Me (to myself): Same as the last 50 times? Shocking!
Click to expand...
My wife is delightfully boring with her food choices. We don't do fast food much, but I know her order at the handful of places we ever go so I don't ever have to wait.

There are, however, about a thousand other examples of her taking he sweet *** time.

 
Okay, my life is pretty simple, but there is one thing my wife does that pisses me off. I am in the kitchen, cooking. I have the skillet heating up, and I am chopping onions, garlic, whatever. I put the knife down and take the cutting board to the skillet and toss the veggies in. Turn around to continue chopping and the damn knife is gone. In the sink? No. Did the kids take it? No. In the 13 seconds it took me to put the veggies in the pan and stir them around, the wife has picked up the knife and either washed it and put it back in the block, or it's in the dishwasher. Same with the dish towel. Cooking, maybe cutting up some chicken. I am done, and I want to wash my hands again. So I wash my hands and reach for the dish towel. Gone. I was USING that!! "It was dirty." Can opener? Same damn thing. If I set it down, she picks it up. "I thought you were through with it." Did you see the two cans of tomato sauce sitting on the counter?? That's right, I had them out watching their cousin, the can of tomatoes, get tossed in the pan. UGH!! She does this with EVERYTHING. Set it down, it's gonzo. Glass of water? Poof. Coffee cup? "It was cold. I thought..." Nooooooo!!!

 
KCitons said:
Wyld Stallyns said:
Women just have way more on their minds than men do. It's not that they're stupid, they just have at least 100x more thoughts going on than we do at any given moment. So they come off as air-headed or ditzy to us simple menfolk when we see them at a cash register completely clueless that they're going to have to pay for their purchase until the VERY moment when the clerk says, "Ma'am... Um, Ma'am?". But men are honestly only able to plan ahead so efficiently because we're not capable of the complicated thought patterns that women are.

I mean, I can't even imagine having to process and analyze every single conversation I took part in for the day, plus judge all of my coworkers outfits, and then calculate the exact amount of weight that Becky has put on since October, plus contemplate the fact that Jessica actually wore those shoes today (what a slut), and then try to figure out who is going to win The Bachelor this season, as well as internally debate whether I should dye my hair brown or red - but wait, when is my mani scheduled for again, maybe I should match my hair to my nails - oh, but I just got that new dress and I'd look sooooo good with brown hair in that dress, ugh, but I'm going to need to get tights, do they have tights at grocery stores? I don't know, I could've picked some up, maybe I should go look real quick while he's ringing these up, ...and so and so forth. ALL IN 10 SECONDS!

I'm telling you, it's a whole other level of brain activity. Men can't even comprehend it. Layers upon layers upon layers flashing by in an instant. We're absolutely incapable of even understanding their brilliance. And the end result is that we come off as being the smarter of the species because in our simplicity we excel at having a credit card ready before someone asks for it, or getting the friggin' keys out before we walk up to a door. But make no mistake, during those 10 seconds that you have to wait for her to fumble through her purse, her brain just ran laps around yours. Simpleton.
Click to expand...
And, not one thought of sex in there.
Click to expand...
:lmao:

 
Treynwreck3 said:
Okay, my life is pretty simple, but there is one thing my wife does that pisses me off. I am in the kitchen, cooking. I have the skillet heating up, and I am chopping onions, garlic, whatever. I put the knife down and take the cutting board to the skillet and toss the veggies in. Turn around to continue chopping and the damn knife is gone. In the sink? No. Did the kids take it? No. In the 13 seconds it took me to put the veggies in the pan and stir them around, the wife has picked up the knife and either washed it and put it back in the block, or it's in the dishwasher. Same with the dish towel. Cooking, maybe cutting up some chicken. I am done, and I want to wash my hands again. So I wash my hands and reach for the dish towel. Gone. I was USING that!! "It was dirty." Can opener? Same damn thing. If I set it down, she picks it up. "I thought you were through with it." Did you see the two cans of tomato sauce sitting on the counter?? That's right, I had them out watching their cousin, the can of tomatoes, get tossed in the pan. UGH!! She does this with EVERYTHING. Set it down, it's gonzo. Glass of water? Poof. Coffee cup? "It was cold. I thought..." Nooooooo!!!
Click to expand...
Send her this link.

 
tdoss said:
That's nothing...pull into the parking lot and wait for that same chick to pull out so you can have the spot.

I will drive past a woman getting into her car and look for a guy with a full cart just heading to his car instead...because I know he'll be faster loading up his car, putting the cart back, getting in and driving away than most women will be just simply hopping in their car.

I don't know what they do in there but every time...they get in...and start fumbling with stuff like they're relearning how to start the car and put it in reverse. I assume we're in the Matrix and they have to download driving lessons or something. Or maybe they're finishing up a novel or maybe pulling a Rambo and stitching up a knife wound.

Drives me crazy.

And then when they finally put it in reverse... we're subjected to the twenty point turn just so they can maneuver out of the space. YOU'RE SIX FEET AWAY FROM THAT BUMPER, just cut the wheel and put it in drive. No, NO...don't pull back in...you've got it...DAMN!

I feel like they need one of those guys on the airport tarmac with the dual flashlights to help guide them out.

I'm calling it now... The guy who creates a mirror that allows for women's strange depth perception will be a billionaire and a celebrated humanitarian.

And I'm calling BS before anyone comes in here to claim their wife doesn't do this. They all do it...even Danica Patrick.
Click to expand...
Try being married to the one who does this. Death in Florida come August as she is just sitting there not starting the car up…WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN, IT'S 3,000 DEGREES IN HERE!!! Then I always get the "Oh I'm sorry" and a rush of the keys into the ignition.

This is why I try to drive everywhere we go amongst other things.

 
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