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Anyone here ever quit drinking without AA? (1 Viewer)

F

ForWhoForWhat

Footballguy
So I’m pretty sure I have a problem. I love beer so much but I don’t have an off switch. I also find myself not being able to wait to leave a non-alcohol situation so I can start drinking. Too many blackouts recently, which as you know are totally scary. Waking up the next day and not being able to remember what you said or did is a horror. Cringing as you hear the “funny” stories is getting old. I have been dry since Sunday and am hoping to keep it going. I’ve tried numerous times in the past to “cut down” or “moderate” but it doesn’t work. I find myself drinking too much and telling myself it’s ok because I work hard, have a stressful job, juggle wife/kids/house/etc and that I earned/deserve it. I am not against AA and know many people who have had their lives saved by it, but I just don’t think it’s for me. I think I can accept the fact that I am powerless over alcohol but quit on my own terms by myself. Anyone else ever done this or am I deluding myself?

I’ve always loved the Sinatra line “I feel bad for those who don’t drink, when they wake up in the morning that’s the best they’ll feel all day”. Now I’ll be one of those guys. I’m sure family and friend social pressures will be tough but I think I can do this.

 
If no AA....

Don't buy it. Don't go to bars, parties, or other places that alcohol will be served.

Problem solved.

 
Cold turkey can be tough, it's not for everyone. Have you told your circle you're just not into it anymore? Can you just chill at home with the family without the urge to drink? I used to drink a lot in my 20s but pretty much just stopped once I stopped hanging out with the guys and settled down. Having said that, if I go out and have a couple of drinks I want to have like 10 drinks, so I still have issues and probably always will. Good luck.

 
Never drank myself, but if you are thinking it's time, it's probably long overdue. I would hope that if you tell your friends and family that you quit, the pressures would be reduced. I would guess that they know you have an issue and should support your decision.

You probably do work hard and have stresses, but one could easily argue that your kids deserve their father more than you deserve to drink. Just a thought.

Good luck.

 
I basically decided I wanted to lose weight and so stopped drinking anything but a glass of wine or two with a meal. This was down from 3-4 whiskeys a night. It was tough for the first week or so, but as the weight began to drop off, the incentive to keep going became stronger. Now I'm down almost 50 pouds and have never felt better. I'll now let myself have a Bloody Mary or two, but virtually no whiskey in over two years.

Find a goal, like losing weight, and focus on it. That helped me, at least.

 
You can quit drinking without AA but you should at least see someone to help you along through the process. A therapist or shrink who specializes in addictions will have an informed view on many issues you have and they will be able to talk you down on those occasions when the urge gets too strong. A little tip to remember, live for today and don't project out.

 
There are exactly two types of heavy drinkers: drunks and alcoholics. Drunks hunt booze, they prey upon it. Alcoholics, on the other hand, have decided at some point that they are not actually hunters, so much as alcohol is hunting them. They are just innocent victims, minding their own business, and evil old alcohol sniffs them out and makes their lives a mess.

 
Yup. I have quit drinking without AA many times! :cool: In fact I may quit again real soon., But seriously, if you have a problem with alcohol, do whatever it takes to stop.

 
I had a problem (evident by my post in the where have you woken up thread) with binge drinking. As I progressed through my 20's I began drinking less and less until the enjoyment of drinking did not outweigh the hangover (however slight it may be) the next day.

I still drink occasionally, but I can have just as much fun sober. It seems to be the people around me want me to drink and they have a better time if I'm drinking.

Since I do still drink periodically, I might not be a good example for you.

 
40 years old. Really want to do it for the kids. Told the missus I’m giving up beer for 30 days to try to lose weight, so am definitely focused on the health/weight angle.

My plan after the 30 days is to say that I just feel better and am not really missing the beer. Hoping that works.

 
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ForWhoForWhat said:
40 years old. Really want to do it for the kids. Told the missus I’m giving up beer for 30 days to try to lose weight, so am definitely focused on the health/weight angle.
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I just want to wish you the best of luck. You can do it. :thumbup:

 
While not wanting to go to AA, I think you could adopt some of their ideas to help you out...just focus on not drinking one day at a time, yada yada yada

Also, I believe there is a pill your doctor can give you a script for that you take everyday and will make you violently ill if you booze.

 
I got a DUI 20 years ago. I decided that perhaps the alcohol was running things a bit too much. So I decided it was time to put it down. Due to the DUI I went through court ordered counseling. Their testing revealed I may have been a drunk but I wasn't an alcoholic. Now I didn't go with I am now alcohol free so I probably had a handful of drinks over the next several years but was never drunk again. I have never had a drink and driven again as I promised my wife she'd never have to come bail me out on DUI again. I haven't had a drink in so many years now I can't even tell you when the last one was.

 
My mother was hugely into AA, sponsored a number of people who credit her with their lives and hold her memory dear to this day. She and they taught me how invaluable it can be, given a viable chapter and folks who you hold as friends both in and outside of the program. A good AA group becomes a family every bit as close as a neighborhood country church.

On the other hand I myself am just all attitude and figure that I quit smoking when I was damn well good and ready and I can do the same thing with drinking. It's worked though I can't say that a few months means it's over--once an alcoholic always an alcoholic, and this is a process which never will end.

In either case what you will need is friends and family who are aware of your fight, involved with you and supportive in a very critical way. You need to be public with this because without anyone watching you will forever find justifications to fail. They won't accept your excuses. You can't accept your excuses. It's as much the reinforcement from AA which helps recovering alcoholics succeed and you will need that reinforcement from those who care.

Good Luck.

 
Baloney Sandwich said:
While not wanting to go to AA, I think you could adopt some of their ideas to help you out...just focus on not drinking one day at a time, yada yada yada

Also, I believe there is a pill your doctor can give you a script for that you take everyday and will make you violently ill if you booze.
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That's antabuse. Don't go that route. :thumbdown:

 
It can be tough when your social life revolves so much around drinking. I have severely cut back because I'm trying to get back into shape. Just this week I've had to turn down 2 requests to go out. I figured it's worth being considered anti-social for a bit until I can moderate myself better.

 
Can't give you any advice one way or another. Just wanted to say kudos for recognizing you have a problem. Takes some stones to do that, and that's the first step.

 
Just like with giving up anything you like, you'll have to overcome it with willpower. It's as simple as that.

I think you should just quit cold turkey, occupy your time with something else, movies, games, working out, hiking, whatever.

Hopefully after a few weeks you won't miss it. If you do and can't just have a couple, then you have larger issues and probably need professional help.

 
I don't think I can drink enough beer to black out and be a wreck the next day. The only time that happens is if I am hard into the bourbon, or heaven forbid, mixing a bunch of stuff all night.

Good luck to you sir, kudos for recognizing the issue.

 
ForWhoForWhat said:
Ive always loved the Sinatra line I feel bad for who dont drink, when they wake up in the morning thats the best theyll feel all day. Now Ill be one of those guys. Im sure family and friend social pressures will be tough but I think I can do this.
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I haven't had a drop since last Christmas Eve. It can definitely be done. Get past the first couple of weeks and it's much easier. As for that Sinatra quote, I disagree. Think of waking up every morning feeling great, no hangover, etc. and just feeling that great constantly. After I quit I also went on a big health kick like some of these other guys and I'm down about 50 lbs. so far. I'm not saying I will never have another one in my life but right now not having even one or two beers here and there is the best choice for me because my personality is that 1-2 becomes 4-5 or more.

 
Cyclones said:
I don't think I can drink enough beer to black out and be a wreck the next day. The only time that happens is if I am hard into the bourbon, or heaven forbid, mixing a bunch of stuff all night.

Good luck to you sir, kudos for recognizing the issue.
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Yeah, this is me. The minute I start injecting bourbon or hard stuff into the night, it's a real chit show. I can start the night with a mixed drink or two and be fine, but I can't sustain a night full of it, nor can I introduce it late in the evening after copious beers. I rarely keep it in the house and avoid shots at the bar like the plague.

I've also learned that my chances of a hangover GREATLY increase if I smoke a cigarette or two the night before. I quit in '99, but will still smoke one on occasion. That's a recipe for disaster and sober me hates drunk me for doing it.

 
glumpy said:
avoiding injuries said:
It seems to be the people around me want me to drink and they have a better time if I'm drinking.
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I think this is common, and often reflects their own problem with alcohol.
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I'm guilty of this to some extent. I actually don't care if my friends drink or not (or if I drink or not), but in my circle anyway, drinking nights usually last a lot longer, where sober nights often see people going home to bed early (maybe so they don't feel pressure - internal or external - to drink).

 
Also, if you don't like the idea of AA for religious reasons (there's a lot of "higher power" and "surrendering" there), you can look at something called SMART Recover, which takes god out of it, and forces you to change your thought processes.

 
General Malaise said:
Cyclones said:
I don't think I can drink enough beer to black out and be a wreck the next day. The only time that happens is if I am hard into the bourbon, or heaven forbid, mixing a bunch of stuff all night.

Good luck to you sir, kudos for recognizing the issue.
Click to expand...
Yeah, this is me. The minute I start injecting bourbon or hard stuff into the night, it's a real chit show. I can start the night with a mixed drink or two and be fine, but I can't sustain a night full of it, nor can I introduce it late in the evening after copious beers. I rarely keep it in the house and avoid shots at the bar like the plague.

I've also learned that my chances of a hangover GREATLY increase if I smoke a cigarette or two the night before. I quit in '99, but will still smoke one on occasion. That's a recipe for disaster and sober me hates drunk me for doing it.
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The only time I smoked cigarettes was when I was good and drunk. Then i could chain smoke a pack, of someone else's. Apparently this upsets people and yes the hangovers are far worse.

 
I don't know how you have the time to drink so much with a job, wife, and kids... but I would think one thing you're going to need to do is to find some hobby or activity to replace the drinking.

 
I've quit drinking several times over the course of my adult life. Sober for periods of 7 yrs, 2 yrs, 1 yr.

For some people that is not actually that tough. The hard part for me has always been deciding to draw the line & stopping. The actual stopping isn't hard once you put your mind to it. I've seen therapists who specialize in Chemical Dependency, those that specialize in anger, and also "regular" therapists. Actually have been taking huge ground in emotional maturity in the past few years, and a part of that was stopping using alcohol or other substances to numb out the difficult emotions or anger. Learning to feel the emotions & stay with them is helping me to be a better father & a better partner to my girlfriend of 4 years.

For me, I will always struggle with straddling the line between chemical use & chemical abuse if I am having any alcohol. I have a different circumstance than you, though. I never much cared for drinking to excess, and I don't have the tolerance. Yet, it doesn't take long before an occasional beer turns into a beer a night turns into 2 beers a night turns into a couple beers & a whiskey. If I am choosing to drink, I'll always have to be aware that I have a tendency toward abuse. Would probably be much easier to just say I'm done & leave it at that, but I really want to be able to have whatever I want in moderation, and so far have been able to do that.

The first time I quit was for 7 years, and definitely the biggest change was the turnover in social groups. If you are out with drinking buddies & not drinking, it is tough for everyone. Expect pressure to join in, expect your presence & the fact that you're not drinking make your friends uncomfortable if they are drinking, expect to discover that the more people drink, the less of what the have to say will be of interest or relevant for you. It can be a tough transition, but very doable.

On the plus side, expect to be more available for your kids and your family and you'll feel great not waking up with a hangover. Once your body starts producing it's own feel good chemicals again, you'll be fine.

Good luck.

 
I've started drinking much more the last couple years after going many years without drinking at all. To some degree I think thta has helped me. I rarely drink enough to even be drunk - I'm able to do the 2 drinks to wind down and stop there. Occasionally on a Fri/Sat night I'll indulge a little more but mainly because I'm silly when drunk and have a good time. Also, this is always at home. Always. The most I'll drink when outside my house is 1 or 2 and never if I'm driving.

Good luck - if you truly think you have a problem then I would seek some kind of help and don't try to do it all on your own.

 
Good friend of mine sent a FB message to his close circle of friends letting us know of his plan to try this. Asked that we not question him or pressure him when we are in social settings and he elects not to imbibe. Pretty smart idea because not only did we of course comply with the request, he got a lot of support from folks. Not to mention he didn't have to explain himself or make excuses.

 
Also, as others have mentioned - weight loss from cutting out that much beer could be a big plus.

In addition, the first time I quit I started learning guitar - so I would have something concrete that I could show I could do now that I couldn't do when I was drinking. I've been playing for over 23 years now. :thumbup:

 
AAABatteries said:
I've started drinking much more the last couple years after going many years without drinking at all. To some degree I think thta has helped me. I rarely drink enough to even be drunk - I'm able to do the 2 drinks to wind down and stop there. Occasionally on a Fri/Sat night I'll indulge a little more but mainly because I'm silly when drunk and have a good time. Also, this is always at home. Always. The most I'll drink when outside my house is 1 or 2 and never if I'm driving.

Good luck - if you truly think you have a problem then I would seek some kind of help and don't try to do it all on your own.
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This is exactly how I am. I probably drink 5 nights a week now (before i met my wife i usually just drank on weekends) but I am rarely drunk and never have more than 2-3 drinks at a time. It's not helping the waistline, but definitely have no issues.

 
Zow said:
AAABatteries said:
I've started drinking much more the last couple years after going many years without drinking at all. To some degree I think thta has helped me. I rarely drink enough to even be drunk - I'm able to do the 2 drinks to wind down and stop there. Occasionally on a Fri/Sat night I'll indulge a little more but mainly because I'm silly when drunk and have a good time. Also, this is always at home. Always. The most I'll drink when outside my house is 1 or 2 and never if I'm driving.

Good luck - if you truly think you have a problem then I would seek some kind of help and don't try to do it all on your own.
Click to expand...
This is exactly how I am. I probably drink 5 nights a week now (before i met my wife i usually just drank on weekends) but I am rarely drunk and never have more than 2-3 drinks at a time. It's not helping the waistline, but definitely have no issues.
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I'm in this camp too. I've basically cut out all liquor and only drink beer. As I've gotten into the different craft beers out there, now I love trying new stuff. I'm not drinking to get drunk, I'm drinking because I like the taste of beer and all the different varieties out there, whereas with liquor or beer/liquor mix, it was all about getting smashed.

 
AA is only one of many options available. I am sure that atheists do not go to AA for help.

 
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Da Guru said:
AA is only one of many options available. I am sure that atheists do not go to AA for help.
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And this would be a good example of how one can be mistaken on a subject about which they are convinced they are correct. Especially if they lack first-hand knowledge of the subject.

Yes, many atheists have a problem with the God thing. But the first step does not talk about God, but about a Higher Power. The first step is largely about recognizing that alcohol represents a power higher than the alcoholic or else they wouldn't be sitting in an AA meeting. So that whole God/Higher Power thing can be resolved even for an atheist.

 
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johnnycakes said:
Da Guru said:
AA is only one of many options available. I am sure that atheists do not go to AA for help.
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And this would be a good example of how one can be mistaken on a subject on which they are convinced they are correct. Especially if they lack first-hand knowledge of the subject.

Yes, many atheists have a problem with the God thing. But the first step does not talk about God, but about a Higher Power. The first step is largely about recognizing that alcohol represents a power higher than the alcoholic or else they wouldn't be sitting in an AA meeting. So that whole God/Higher Power thing can be resolved even for an atheist.
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I've also known atheist folks who accept GOD in the equation but they use it as a friendly acronym meaning Group of Drunks in reference to their AA family/friends.

 
dutch said:
johnnycakes said:
Da Guru said:
AA is only one of many options available. I am sure that atheists do not go to AA for help.
Click to expand...
And this would be a good example of how one can be mistaken on a subject on which they are convinced they are correct. Especially if they lack first-hand knowledge of the subject.

Yes, many atheists have a problem with the God thing. But the first step does not talk about God, but about a Higher Power. The first step is largely about recognizing that alcohol represents a power higher than the alcoholic or else they wouldn't be sitting in an AA meeting. So that whole God/Higher Power thing can be resolved even for an atheist.
Click to expand...
I've also known atheist folks who accept GOD in the equation but they use it as a friendly acronym meaning Group of Drunks in reference to their AA family/friends.
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Athiest alcoholic here. I couldn't get into AA the first couple times because of what I took as the GOD overtones. Finally, I made an adjustment in my thought process. I realized that everyone's Higher Power can be different. For me, my Higher Power is the support and love of my family and friends. My newest tattoo reads "Family Is My Higher Power- 9/10/84". It'll be 30 years in 6 weeks.

Good luck man. Life's never been better for me.

 
One of the guys I sponsor in aa is a n atheist and the program worked fine for him. If you want to quit on your own give it a try and see how it goes. As you have read in here it can be done. If things don't go the way you want them to aa will still be there for you if you decide to give it a try

 
You can do anything you put your mind to. AA is for people who think lesser than that which makes them weak. Similar to religion.

 
General Malaise said:
Cyclones said:
I don't think I can drink enough beer to black out and be a wreck the next day. The only time that happens is if I am hard into the bourbon, or heaven forbid, mixing a bunch of stuff all night.

Good luck to you sir, kudos for recognizing the issue.
Click to expand...
Yeah, this is me. The minute I start injecting bourbon or hard stuff into the night, it's a real chit show. I can start the night with a mixed drink or two and be fine, but I can't sustain a night full of it, nor can I introduce it late in the evening after copious beers. I rarely keep it in the house and avoid shots at the bar like the plague.

I've also learned that my chances of a hangover GREATLY increase if I smoke a cigarette or two the night before. I quit in '99, but will still smoke one on occasion. That's a recipe for disaster and sober me hates drunk me for doing it.
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Yeah shot are are the devil. I enjoy bourbon on the rocks or neat and can sip it, but #### shots. In my mid 20s, I started having issues with blacking out and going to bed with the room spinning and all that. I finally was to figure out that this was happening on the nights we were getting shots. You know how a round of shots turns into 3 rounds of shots in the blink of an eye. So gross. I retired from shots. My friends would harass and pressure, but I've always been stubborn and never had a problem saying no. I would end night with feeling good, back at the house, sipping on a beer, smoking a joint with the girls we picked up and half my friends would be puking or passing out. It wasn't too long before they stopped ordering shots.
 
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