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Marriage...When is it over? (1 Viewer)

Peak

Peak

Footballguy
Reading through the FFA this week has got me thinking, when do you know when your marriage is over? Is there something that just clicked? Is it you, or is it your s/o? Should you try to make it last, or do you just let it go?

My wife and I aren't in a good place. Haven't been for at least three years. No physical relationship at all (no hugs, hand-holding, or sitting next to each other on the couch - obviously nothing above any of these either). We talk about it, but nothing seems to change. I know she's depressed and upset with herself. She won't seek treatment, or talk to anyone about it outside of her sisters. She has a very short fuse and takes it out on me and the kids. I've tried to talk to her about it, but it's no use.

I thought I was handling it well, but it's really getting to me now. I'm even lashing out at people over little things. I didn't recognize it at first, but after reading the "Anger" thread, I realized I'm doing it out of depression. I'm not happy with what's going on at all. But I don't want to leave. I loved our relationship and how we were together before all of this changed. We've been married for 13 (known each other for 18), and it's only been since 2010 or so when this started happening.

We had another fight a week ago which ended with her saying it's not working for her and she's done. I don't turn my back on my family and I won't leave. I told her that we need to figure out what the problem is and fix it. I offered up going to counseling, but she's against it. Instead we sit in separate rooms and avoid each other once the kids go to bed. In front of the kids or in public, we act "normal". In private, we don't talk or notice each other. In a way, I guess it is over.

Regardless, I'm at my wits end. I have tried to make her happy, or be that loving supportive husband and father. Instead, she views me as the idiot who doesn't think and can't do things right. Everyday I think things will get better. But if we don't try, nothing will change. Following my latest outburst with our kids, I think I'm going to see a therapist. I need to talk to someone about this and hopefully figure something out. She's my best friend and confidant, but now it's like I don't know who she is anymore. She's not the same person I married, that I know.

So...is it over and I'm just in denial? I feel like there's something worth fighting for, but if refuses to get help or even try, will anything even change?

 
How old the kids?

Does she work?

Make more money than you?

Is there someone else?

Sounds like you guys are in a bad place and should try counseling at least if you do split up, you can communicate better.

But it looks like it is done. :no: Sorry man

 
The bad news is that it's over. It's definitely over.

The good news is that you have solid grounds for divorce. Apparently, you and me have been married to the same woman this entire time

 
Unless something changes on her side, you cant do anything. Just get yourself help and make sure you realize the kids arent the problem and they should be treated with the proper love.

 
It's over. Somewhat similar scenario except I was the one making the decisions. When I finally told her it was time to separate she said she was going to discuss with me that week anyways. We finished everything in two hours and will be both happily divorced next week. Friends and family of mine have noticed I am in far better mood/happier than in a long time and I agree. Luckily, we both wanted the same thing which has made things easy.

You may not realize it, but that anxiety/stress can have a dramatic impact on your health. It's a bandaid best ripped off. To my close friends or women I've been seeing I've mentioned my ex gave me the most important thing one could imagine and they think I'm talking about the kids....only to then say "freedom"....always gets a good smile. For those that ask why we were getting divorced, I've found that just saying "we aren't good as a couple" draws zero additional questions.

ETA: You don't realize it now, but she is doing you a great favor.

 
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badmojo1006 said:
How old the kids? 10, 8, 5

Does she work? Yes

Make more money than you? No

Is there someone else? No. She doesn't spend her time going out or doing anything else. Her daily routine is exactly the same, like clockwork. I'm confident there is no one else.

Sounds like you guys are in a bad place and should try counseling at least if you do split up, you can communicate better.

But it looks like it is done. :no: Sorry man
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Ya. Reading over what I wrote, it looks that way. I think counseling will help us, or at least me. Just hard to give up on someone you've known and loved for so many years because they aren't happy with themselves. The part that bothers me is that she doesn't realize that she's taking it out on everyone around her. Or if she does, she doesn't seem to care. :shrug:

 
There's never been a thread about marriage at footballguys that didn't start with a bunch of nitwits saying "it's obviously over".

 
Tackling Dummies said:
Why no counseling? Talk to me like a 3rd grader and "just because" does not count.
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I want to go...her, not so much. She says that this is something we can work out on our own. But when I try to take those next steps, it ends with her being angry/mad/disappointed...pick one. She has said that she doesn't feel a third party can help work out our issues as well as we could. But then, we turns into me which starts the whole circle over again.

 
Peak said:
badmojo1006 said:
How old the kids? 10, 8, 5

Does she work? Yes

Make more money than you? No

Is there someone else? No. She doesn't spend her time going out or doing anything else. Her daily routine is exactly the same, like clockwork. I'm confident there is no one else.

Sounds like you guys are in a bad place and should try counseling at least if you do split up, you can communicate better.

But it looks like it is done. :no: Sorry man
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Ya. Reading over what I wrote, it looks that way. I think counseling will help us, or at least me. Just hard to give up on someone you've known and loved for so many years because they aren't happy with themselves. The part that bothers me is that she doesn't realize that she's taking it out on everyone around her. Or if she does, she doesn't seem to care. :shrug:
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Sorry again. Just remember to keep telling the kids "It is not their fault" keep repeating until they get sick of it. I still see it in my kids eyes a bit of guilt and I have been divorced 13 year.

Also, learn to bite your tongue until it bleeds when talking to the Soon to be ex in front of the kids. Nothing good ever comes in fighting in front of the kids or bad mouthing your ex.

GL

 
Peak said:
Tackling Dummies said:
Why no counseling? Talk to me like a 3rd grader and "just because" does not count.
Click to expand...
I want to go...her, not so much. She says that this is something we can work out on our own. But when I try to take those next steps, it ends with her being angry/mad/disappointed...pick one. She has said that she doesn't feel a third party can help work out our issues as well as we could. But then, we turns into me which starts the whole circle over again.
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Just make the appointment and tell her it's made. What I'd do is make a "family counseling" appointment. The kids are undoubtedly affected and can probably use it too. If the kids are going to counseling, you can bet she'll want to go too.

This doesn't sound "over" to me at this point unless you just let it die. Your marriage is definitely sick, but you've not really tried anything to help it get better. It's much too soon to be reading last rites.

 
Peak said:
Tackling Dummies said:
Why no counseling? Talk to me like a 3rd grader and "just because" does not count.
Click to expand...
I want to go...her, not so much. She says that this is something we can work out on our own. But when I try to take those next steps, it ends with her being angry/mad/disappointed...pick one. She has said that she doesn't feel a third party can help work out our issues as well as we could. But then, we turns into me which starts the whole circle over again.
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3rd party counseling is the key. A long time ago we went through several months of counseling and it got us back on track. I'd recommend that you go at least.

 
T Bell said:
Peak said:
Tackling Dummies said:
Why no counseling? Talk to me like a 3rd grader and "just because" does not count.
Click to expand...
I want to go...her, not so much. She says that this is something we can work out on our own. But when I try to take those next steps, it ends with her being angry/mad/disappointed...pick one. She has said that she doesn't feel a third party can help work out our issues as well as we could. But then, we turns into me which starts the whole circle over again.
Click to expand...
Just make the appointment and tell her it's made. What I'd do is make a "family counseling" appointment. The kids are undoubtedly affected and can probably use it too. If the kids are going to counseling, you can bet she'll want to go too.

This doesn't sound "over" to me at this point unless you just let it die. Your marriage is definitely sick, but you've not really tried anything to help it get better. It's much too soon to be reading last rites.
Click to expand...
:hifive:

 
bostonfred said:
There's never been a thread about marriage at footballguys that didn't start with a bunch of nitwits saying "it's obviously over".
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Do you really think that after four years of acrimony, sniping, and hardly any contact you can just pretend those ugly years didn't happen and everything's now OK?

It was nice to see Lebron back in a Cavs uni last night.

 
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Sounds like it was over a long time ago.

It's very noble of you to say that you don't turn your back on your family, but a woman will use that attitude against you if it can give her an advantage.

 
Counseling and/or a trial separation. Sometimes time away from each other can renew a relationship. :shrug:

 
Ditka Butkus said:
3C said:
Counseling and/or a trial separation. Sometimes time away from each other can renew a relationship. :shrug:
Click to expand...
Until one or the other ####s somebody else and really screws up the relationship.
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Then it's definitely over. Temporary separation can either help heal a relationship or set the final nail. Obviously staying together isn't providing any progress. In my experience it helped. YMMV.

 
You mentioned that this has been going on since 2010ish - what happened that year that could have been a trigger? death, sibling married, best friend affair, new boss, etc etc. Something most likely changed if to you there is some form of clear start (in rough terms obviously) to the point at which things started going south.

Next, you said you've been trying to make her happy since that point. Initially - how have you been trying.

Next, stop whatever you were trying because I am going to assume that you are letting her control things, doing more around the house so she doesn't have to and filing in on mommy and wife roles while she is not doing one of the primary wife roles. Basically she is being rewarded for her behavior and that needs to stop. Again, assumption based on what the answer to the second question is.

Your first step at this moment, beyond answering the questions, is start focusing on you. Do what you want to do. Are the guys getting together and you want to join? Then join. Don't ask for permission, just tell her you are going. Obviously if the kids need you for some reason fine but the point is that if she in any way controls your schedule simply because she is wife and there isn't a good reason, that stops. Did you have a hobby or play a sport you were good at and enjoyed that you have let lax since she started this spiral? If so, do that again.

Do not, under any circumstances start or continue any passive agressive nonsense. It never works and makes you feel worse. Do what you need to and want to do to make you happy. Get in shape if you aren't, try to eat a little better. When she starts on a tirade or putting you down you firmly tell her to knock it off, that type of talk will no longer be tolerated and if she continues you leave the room and ignore her. You make it known that you will not be a part of her hysterics and you aren't playing her game anymore.

As for when you know a marriage is over - I would argue yours is on about the last part of life support it could be. So your choice in this moment is to stay in the midst of the mess or better yourself. And by bettering yourself one of two things will happen - 1. she will come along, respond and join you or 2. she won't, you will realize it and from there when you finally do get divorced you will be in a much better position in life to move forward.

 
If no sex means your marriage is over then I have been unmarried for the last 24 years. Damn, someone should have sent me the memo a few years ago.

 
Your relationship sounds similar to what my ex-wife and I had before our divorce. I wound up getting served divorce papers at work by surprise... I didn't even know she had seen a lawyer.

 
Peak said:
Reading through the FFA this week has got me thinking, when do you know when your marriage is over? Is there something that just clicked? Is it you, or is it your s/o? Should you try to make it last, or do you just let it go?

My wife and I aren't in a good place. Haven't been for at least three years. No physical relationship at all (no hugs, hand-holding, or sitting next to each other on the couch - obviously nothing above any of these either). We talk about it, but nothing seems to change. I know she's depressed and upset with herself. She won't seek treatment, or talk to anyone about it outside of her sisters. She has a very short fuse and takes it out on me and the kids. I've tried to talk to her about it, but it's no use.

I thought I was handling it well, but it's really getting to me now. I'm even lashing out at people over little things. I didn't recognize it at first, but after reading the "Anger" thread, I realized I'm doing it out of depression. I'm not happy with what's going on at all. But I don't want to leave. I loved our relationship and how we were together before all of this changed. We've been married for 13 (known each other for 18), and it's only been since 2010 or so when this started happening.

We had another fight a week ago which ended with her saying it's not working for her and she's done. I don't turn my back on my family and I won't leave. I told her that we need to figure out what the problem is and fix it. I offered up going to counseling, but she's against it. Instead we sit in separate rooms and avoid each other once the kids go to bed. In front of the kids or in public, we act "normal". In private, we don't talk or notice each other. In a way, I guess it is over.

Regardless, I'm at my wits end. I have tried to make her happy, or be that loving supportive husband and father. Instead, she views me as the idiot who doesn't think and can't do things right. Everyday I think things will get better. But if we don't try, nothing will change. Following my latest outburst with our kids, I think I'm going to see a therapist. I need to talk to someone about this and hopefully figure something out. She's my best friend and confidant, but now it's like I don't know who she is anymore. She's not the same person I married, that I know.

So...is it over and I'm just in denial? I feel like there's something worth fighting for, but if refuses to get help or even try, will anything even change?
Click to expand...
Yep. I can relate to thinking you can fix it all. And, based on my experience, you'll fail. She's done, my friend.

I've been where you are. I understand the panic, I do. Every situation is different, but I'm pretty sure on this one.

Contact two pros immediately: a therapist for just yourself and an attorney (you HAVE to do this to protect yourself; if it never comes to pass then it doesn't matter).

PM if you ever want to talk in private.

 
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T Bell said:
Peak said:
Tackling Dummies said:
Why no counseling? Talk to me like a 3rd grader and "just because" does not count.
Click to expand...
I want to go...her, not so much. She says that this is something we can work out on our own. But when I try to take those next steps, it ends with her being angry/mad/disappointed...pick one. She has said that she doesn't feel a third party can help work out our issues as well as we could. But then, we turns into me which starts the whole circle over again.
Click to expand...
Just make the appointment and tell her it's made. What I'd do is make a "family counseling" appointment. The kids are undoubtedly affected and can probably use it too. If the kids are going to counseling, you can bet she'll want to go too.

This doesn't sound "over" to me at this point unless you just let it die. Your marriage is definitely sick, but you've not really tried anything to help it get better. It's much too soon to be reading last rites.
Click to expand...
Agree with counseling, although I'd keep the kids out of it until completely necessary.

I don't get why people are so averse- "fixing it yourselves" isn't working, why not talk to somebody who can give you both better ammo (to fix or break- either way provides a solution to the current situation).

GL.

 
Yankee23Fan said:
You mentioned that this has been going on since 2010ish - what happened that year that could have been a trigger? death, sibling married, best friend affair, new boss, etc etc. Something most likely changed if to you there is some form of clear start (in rough terms obviously) to the point at which things started going south.

Next, you said you've been trying to make her happy since that point. Initially - how have you been trying.

Next, stop whatever you were trying because I am going to assume that you are letting her control things, doing more around the house so she doesn't have to and filing in on mommy and wife roles while she is not doing one of the primary wife roles. Basically she is being rewarded for her behavior and that needs to stop. Again, assumption based on what the answer to the second question is.

Your first step at this moment, beyond answering the questions, is start focusing on you. Do what you want to do. Are the guys getting together and you want to join? Then join. Don't ask for permission, just tell her you are going. Obviously if the kids need you for some reason fine but the point is that if she in any way controls your schedule simply because she is wife and there isn't a good reason, that stops. Did you have a hobby or play a sport you were good at and enjoyed that you have let lax since she started this spiral? If so, do that again.

Do not, under any circumstances start or continue any passive agressive nonsense. It never works and makes you feel worse. Do what you need to and want to do to make you happy. Get in shape if you aren't, try to eat a little better. When she starts on a tirade or putting you down you firmly tell her to knock it off, that type of talk will no longer be tolerated and if she continues you leave the room and ignore her. You make it known that you will not be a part of her hysterics and you aren't playing her game anymore.

As for when you know a marriage is over - I would argue yours is on about the last part of life support it could be. So your choice in this moment is to stay in the midst of the mess or better yourself. And by bettering yourself one of two things will happen - 1. she will come along, respond and join you or 2. she won't, you will realize it and from there when you finally do get divorced you will be in a much better position in life to move forward.
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This is a fantastic post :thumbup:

nice work YF

 
It is not over but it should be if you do not make one big last attempt to fix it. Drag her to counseling. Send the kids to Grandmas for the weekend so you two can have it out at home. Do something.

 
i did counseling with my soon-to-be ex wife initially. it can help, i susppose, if you both go in with the same premise. you both have to want the same thing: to save and fix your marriage.

otherwise?

 
[icon] said:
Yankee23Fan said:
You mentioned that this has been going on since 2010ish - what happened that year that could have been a trigger? death, sibling married, best friend affair, new boss, etc etc. Something most likely changed if to you there is some form of clear start (in rough terms obviously) to the point at which things started going south.

Next, you said you've been trying to make her happy since that point. Initially - how have you been trying.

Next, stop whatever you were trying because I am going to assume that you are letting her control things, doing more around the house so she doesn't have to and filing in on mommy and wife roles while she is not doing one of the primary wife roles. Basically she is being rewarded for her behavior and that needs to stop. Again, assumption based on what the answer to the second question is.

Your first step at this moment, beyond answering the questions, is start focusing on you. Do what you want to do. Are the guys getting together and you want to join? Then join. Don't ask for permission, just tell her you are going. Obviously if the kids need you for some reason fine but the point is that if she in any way controls your schedule simply because she is wife and there isn't a good reason, that stops. Did you have a hobby or play a sport you were good at and enjoyed that you have let lax since she started this spiral? If so, do that again.

Do not, under any circumstances start or continue any passive agressive nonsense. It never works and makes you feel worse. Do what you need to and want to do to make you happy. Get in shape if you aren't, try to eat a little better. When she starts on a tirade or putting you down you firmly tell her to knock it off, that type of talk will no longer be tolerated and if she continues you leave the room and ignore her. You make it known that you will not be a part of her hysterics and you aren't playing her game anymore.

As for when you know a marriage is over - I would argue yours is on about the last part of life support it could be. So your choice in this moment is to stay in the midst of the mess or better yourself. And by bettering yourself one of two things will happen - 1. she will come along, respond and join you or 2. she won't, you will realize it and from there when you finally do get divorced you will be in a much better position in life to move forward.
Click to expand...
This is a fantastic post :thumbup:

nice work YF
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If she was a stay at home mom, I'd agree. OP says she works, so most of Yankee's reply is kind of strange, old-school misogynist clap-trap, IMO... and also passive aggressive avoidance.

 
[icon] said:
Yankee23Fan said:
You mentioned that this has been going on since 2010ish - what happened that year that could have been a trigger? death, sibling married, best friend affair, new boss, etc etc. Something most likely changed if to you there is some form of clear start (in rough terms obviously) to the point at which things started going south.

Next, you said you've been trying to make her happy since that point. Initially - how have you been trying.

Next, stop whatever you were trying because I am going to assume that you are letting her control things, doing more around the house so she doesn't have to and filing in on mommy and wife roles while she is not doing one of the primary wife roles. Basically she is being rewarded for her behavior and that needs to stop. Again, assumption based on what the answer to the second question is.

Your first step at this moment, beyond answering the questions, is start focusing on you. Do what you want to do. Are the guys getting together and you want to join? Then join. Don't ask for permission, just tell her you are going. Obviously if the kids need you for some reason fine but the point is that if she in any way controls your schedule simply because she is wife and there isn't a good reason, that stops. Did you have a hobby or play a sport you were good at and enjoyed that you have let lax since she started this spiral? If so, do that again.

Do not, under any circumstances start or continue any passive agressive nonsense. It never works and makes you feel worse. Do what you need to and want to do to make you happy. Get in shape if you aren't, try to eat a little better. When she starts on a tirade or putting you down you firmly tell her to knock it off, that type of talk will no longer be tolerated and if she continues you leave the room and ignore her. You make it known that you will not be a part of her hysterics and you aren't playing her game anymore.

As for when you know a marriage is over - I would argue yours is on about the last part of life support it could be. So your choice in this moment is to stay in the midst of the mess or better yourself. And by bettering yourself one of two things will happen - 1. she will come along, respond and join you or 2. she won't, you will realize it and from there when you finally do get divorced you will be in a much better position in life to move forward.
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This is a fantastic post :thumbup:

nice work YF
Click to expand...
 
Yankee23Fan said:
Mr. Know-It-All said:
If no sex means your marriage is over then I have been unmarried for the last 24 years. Damn, someone should have sent me the memo a few years ago.
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Seriously?
Click to expand...
I exaggerated a little - but since my wife went through the cancer scare 4 years ago and had a complete hysterectomy (weird for someone so young, but part of surviving her cancer) it was a game changer. And because of her cancer she cannot take the hormones that would normally be prescribed which means, not a lot of physical intimacy. Sucks because my libido didn't change - but I'd rather have her alive with less intimacy than dead.

 
El Floppo said:
[icon] said:
Yankee23Fan said:
You mentioned that this has been going on since 2010ish - what happened that year that could have been a trigger? death, sibling married, best friend affair, new boss, etc etc. Something most likely changed if to you there is some form of clear start (in rough terms obviously) to the point at which things started going south.

Next, you said you've been trying to make her happy since that point. Initially - how have you been trying.

Next, stop whatever you were trying because I am going to assume that you are letting her control things, doing more around the house so she doesn't have to and filing in on mommy and wife roles while she is not doing one of the primary wife roles. Basically she is being rewarded for her behavior and that needs to stop. Again, assumption based on what the answer to the second question is.

Your first step at this moment, beyond answering the questions, is start focusing on you. Do what you want to do. Are the guys getting together and you want to join? Then join. Don't ask for permission, just tell her you are going. Obviously if the kids need you for some reason fine but the point is that if she in any way controls your schedule simply because she is wife and there isn't a good reason, that stops. Did you have a hobby or play a sport you were good at and enjoyed that you have let lax since she started this spiral? If so, do that again.

Do not, under any circumstances start or continue any passive agressive nonsense. It never works and makes you feel worse. Do what you need to and want to do to make you happy. Get in shape if you aren't, try to eat a little better. When she starts on a tirade or putting you down you firmly tell her to knock it off, that type of talk will no longer be tolerated and if she continues you leave the room and ignore her. You make it known that you will not be a part of her hysterics and you aren't playing her game anymore.

As for when you know a marriage is over - I would argue yours is on about the last part of life support it could be. So your choice in this moment is to stay in the midst of the mess or better yourself. And by bettering yourself one of two things will happen - 1. she will come along, respond and join you or 2. she won't, you will realize it and from there when you finally do get divorced you will be in a much better position in life to move forward.
Click to expand...
This is a fantastic post :thumbup:

nice work YF
Click to expand...
If she was a stay at home mom, I'd agree. OP says she works, so most of Yankee's reply is kind of strange, old-school misogynist clap-trap, IMO... and also passive aggressive avoidance.
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Huh? I would love to know, truly, how my saying that you should not do anything passive agressive is, in fact, passive agressive avoidance?

 
Peak said:
Tackling Dummies said:
Why no counseling? Talk to me like a 3rd grader and "just because" does not count.
Click to expand...
I want to go...her, not so much. She says that this is something we can work out on our own. But when I try to take those next steps, it ends with her being angry/mad/disappointed...pick one. She has said that she doesn't feel a third party can help work out our issues as well as we could. But then, we turns into me which starts the whole circle over again.
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Well, you aren't working it out on your own and even she has to recognize that.

As far as the question at hand, "When is it over"? - There is no universal answer that fits all marriages as marriages are unique, like bowel movements. Yours is different than mine is different than everybody else's. Some are over when trust is broken or lost. Some are over over finances. Some blow up over family drama. Some just end because couples grow apart. For some reason, we get married in our early or mid-20s and think our marriage will remain the same as day one even though gargantuan growth occurs mentally in our 30s and 40s. In that growth, change happens and sometimes it causes strain on a marriage. And you know what....THAT IS OKAY. It is NOT the end of the world to go through a divorce. 50% of all marriages will end that way and no matter how scary you think it is now, I would argue that it is far scarier to stay in a loveless, joyless, miserable marriage because you think it is the right thing to do or your kids need you to do that. The kids will be alright. ESPECIALLY if you prepare for divorce like you would the birth a child, a new career challenge or the biggest exam of your life.

If your wife won't go to therapy, you should absolutely go it alone. Find somebody that specializes in your predicament and hold nothing back. Your wife will sit up and take notice of this and it will force the issue where currently it is being pushed away. You can't push this to the back burner any further. It's messing with your emotions, your mental state and your ability to parent. As awful as you think divorce will be on your kids, living a life in agony is even worse. You need to repair that with help and if you and your wife find a way to work things out, great. If not, I assure you, there is life after divorce. For you, your kids, your extended family and even your wife.

As a divorced man, I emphasize with your current plight. You are scared, depressed, angry, confused and you don't feel like you have any control. And that really sucks. The good news is, you CAN control a bit of your own destiny, but it will take work, trust in others, support from family and friends, reading some great books and an ability to work with your wife, either repairing your marriage or divorcing as amicably as possible...and that IS possible, it just takes work and sacrifice and a pledge from both of you to put your children first and foremost. As a remarried man who went through the hell that is divorce, I'm a million times happier today than I was 10 years ago and on the brink of that despair, I never thought that would be possible. Kids are doing great, ex-wife is happy in her new life, there is joy and peace for both of us when a decade ago it was Arab Israeli Conflict without the occasional truces.

Good luck, man.

 
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Mr. Know-It-All said:
Yankee23Fan said:
Mr. Know-It-All said:
If no sex means your marriage is over then I have been unmarried for the last 24 years. Damn, someone should have sent me the memo a few years ago.
Click to expand...
Seriously?
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I exaggerated a little - but since my wife went through the cancer scare 4 years ago and had a complete hysterectomy (weird for someone so young, but part of surviving her cancer) it was a game changer. And because of her cancer she cannot take the hormones that would normally be prescribed which means, not a lot of physical intimacy. Sucks because my libido didn't change - but I'd rather have her alive with less intimacy than dead.
Click to expand...
Ah, completely understandable then. I agree. If in a similar situation, I too would do the same.

 
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