Tom Servo
Nittany Beavers
over his "dubious sexuality"
BREAKING: Winnie the Pooh is a hermaphrodite, exposes himself in public, and has no business being around children.
Officials in the Polish town of Tuszyn (around 87 miles southwest of Warsaw) were deciding on a mascot for its town playground, when the classic children's character was suggested as a candidate. They decided to rule Winnie out, because he's an "inappropriately dressed" bear of "dubious sexuality."
Sure, Winnie is a honey junkie who spends most of his time with a chronically depressed donkey and a suspiciously energetic tiger, and if you don't want your kids hanging with that sort of crew, then fine. But if you don't want Winnie at playgrounds because he doesn't wear pants and has no external genitalia, you're living in the past, my friend.