What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.

"Work" buzzwords I HATE (1 Viewer)

Jayrod said:
17seconds said:
I think I mentioned this one on the old thread.

"Shall we do due diligence?"

"Well, if we do do due diligence then we'll have a better idea"

(nails on chalkboard)
Click to expand...
I always thought of "due diligence" as a legal/accounting term meaning you CYA'd. We bill a 2% due diligence fee on fundraising. I think its OK to use it in that context as it legally defines what we are doing to earn our fee.

Using it as just a general term for working on a project or simply doing research is stupid and deserves ridicule and shame toward the user.
Click to expand...
It's the inability to say it without at least 1 "do" in front that bothers me

But, yes, I've seen it used in the way you don't like as well

 
Last edited by a moderator:
"Legs" and "gap analysis" are killing me right now. "There are 3 legs to evaluating this program..." and "Did you perform a gap analysis on the new STEM project?"

 
17seconds said:
Ilov80s said:
"Did you perform a gap analysis on the new STEM project?"
Click to expand...
or... what's the delta between the 2 programs?
Click to expand...
Both make me very stabby. All that jargon came from Accenture and big three consulting firm and it was horse#### then too. Years later you get to hear this coming out of the mouths of idiot assistant types parroting some babble they heard from some other idiot makes me want to hand them with sign on their chest of just those phrases ...

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Da Guru said:
lakerstan said:
I'm tired of hearing about how "passionate" people are. "I am passionate about getting this done". It's overkill. Just say you want to do something and move on, you drama queen.
Click to expand...
Early in my career I was told how passionate I was many times in evaluations. The only thing I was ever passionate about was to make my bosses believe I was passionate. All I ever cared about was how much $$$$ money I could make in this given position.
Click to expand...
Good answer here.

 
value engineering: translation - we screwed up our bid and are now going to beat you down on yours

critical path: translation - we are way behind on the schedule and you are now going to work extra hours to make up for it

 
I was at a 2 hour meeting yesterday and probably heard 15-20 of these terms in one sitting, I was laughing to myself. One guy used 7-8 himself during a 15 minute presentation.

Started with "When you start peeling back the layers of the onion" Finished with "End of the day" 2-3 times and "Bottom line" 2-3 times toss in a couple "Boils down to"... "Whatever it takes" "changing climate" and "same page" This guy was a VP of North American operations for a major supplier too.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
i'm not sure if this is widespread or just something i've encountered, but my old boss was very fond of using the word 'pig' to mean problem.

"we've got to lock down this pig before the #### hits the fan"

"how do we hedge this pig?"

also, "what's the right way to think about this?" instead of just saying "explain that to me"

bonus points for "what's the right way to think about this pig?"

 
Peyton Marino said:
i'm not sure if this is widespread or just something i've encountered, but my old boss was very fond of using the word 'pig' to mean problem.

"we've got to lock down this pig before the #### hits the fan"

"how do we hedge this pig?"

also, "what's the right way to think about this?" instead of just saying "explain that to me"

bonus points for "what's the right way to think about this pig?"
Click to expand...
Go pig or go home.

 
Guy just used "baked in" a few times, as in "we want to make sure this piece is baked in the overall project. .."

 
Plorfu said:
Guy just used "baked in" a few times, as in "we want to make sure this piece is baked in the overall project. .."
Click to expand...
I said it yesterday. :bag:

But it was the best word I could think of. Somebody was asking if our software could put an icon on top of an image. I said - we wouldn't have to add that capability if the icon is baked into the image.

 
Productional. There is no such word. Urban Dictionary definition:

A uselessly redundant variation of the word production.
Mainly used by corporate drones trying to sound intelligent,and failing ever so horribly.

i.e., That server has been productional for weeks.
 
WampusCat43 said:
Productional. There is no such word. Urban Dictionary definition:

A uselessly redundant variation of the word production.

Mainly used by corporate drones trying to sound intelligent,and failing ever so horribly.

i.e., That server has been productional for weeks.
Click to expand...
I've never heard that. Pretty sure it would get laughed at too.

Does the same guy say he has to go urinize?

 
ROCKET said:
critical path: translation - we are way behind on the schedule and you are now going to work extra hours to make up for it
Click to expand...
We get this one all the time. Sadly we are for many large projects, so as much as I hate it it does pay the bills.

 
Two new ones in the past week that made me want to put my foot through a wall:

Heatmap: "We've got several projects going on simultaneously, so we should create a heatmap to prioritize."

Swimlanes: "There are a lot of moving parts in this project. It is imperative that everyone stay in their swimlanes."

 
we have a guy who will use buzzwords so frequently that I actually struggle to understand him at times. it's like he's speaking another language.

 
ClownCausedChaos2 said:
Two new ones in the past week that made me want to put my foot through a wall:

Heatmap: "We've got several projects going on simultaneously, so we should create a heatmap to prioritize."

Swimlanes: "There are a lot of moving parts in this project. It is imperative that everyone stay in their swimlanes."
Click to expand...
When I worked at Chevron, I had to create heatmaps all of the time.

 
17seconds said:
Plorfu said:
Guy just used "baked in" a few times, as in "we want to make sure this piece is baked in the overall project. .."
Click to expand...
I said it yesterday. :bag:

But it was the best word I could think of. Somebody was asking if our software could put an icon on top of an image. I said - we wouldn't have to add that capability if the icon is baked into the image.
Click to expand...
Its Prego! (In in there!!) ...20 yrs old. Most won't know what the hell it means.

 
Tackling Dummies said:
nirad3 said:
Signing off an email with "Best,"

Best what? I f'ing hate this for some reason.
Click to expand...
Painful. Have a co-worker that uses this and I'm working up to a mini intervention to tell them to stop it.
Click to expand...
Yeah. We have a PR firm that we parted ways with where everyone signed off with this. Not saying it was the only factor but it didn't help.

 
17seconds said:
"I've discussed it with my primes."

really? and what did 1,2,3,5,7,11,13.. tell you?
Click to expand...
Not so much a work buzzword, but the whole "white bread mom - pinterest" group that says:

#### on a Shingle? YES PLEASE!!!

Or any use of the "nom nom nom" for whatever this #### thing is I am referencing tastes good.

The thread title on here about the pretzel pizza makes me cringe every time I see it.

 
Plaid Boxer said:
Tackling Dummies said:
nirad3 said:
Signing off an email with "Best,"

Best what? I f'ing hate this for some reason.
Click to expand...
Painful. Have a co-worker that uses this and I'm working up to a mini intervention to tell them to stop it.
Click to expand...
Work with a guy who alternates between Best and All Best. I thought it was just me that wanted to snap. And he too does PR work.
Click to expand...
It has a smarmy PR feel to it so no shock there.

I really struggle with signoffs sometimes. I spent 2+ years not really interacting directly with clients (after spending 10+ doing just that).

I try not to roll "Regards," out there.

"Best Regards?" I don't know.

I usually just use "Thank you," since my email typically includes some kind of request.

But if I ever feel the need to cut out with "Best," I will go play in traffic.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

DJackson10
My GF and I are being targeted at work and my store manager is telling us to stop drama despite being the ones bullied
2
Replies
51
Views
2K
Jayrod
Jayrod
B
Daughters Apartment - Water in her bedroom from rain - what to do
2
Replies
55
Views
1K
b-snatchers
B
MTskibum
Anyone else host sewing parties?
Replies
1
Views
118
MTskibum
MTskibum

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)
Top