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kid school classmate "issue" advice (1 Viewer)

belljr

belljr

Footballguy
So my daughter is 9 and in 4th grade. She just recently turned 9 so she is one of the youngest. She is in advanced classes for math and other crap. Lookatme.

anyway she has always been emotional when she gets frustrated. If she has trouble with a task she tears up and gets angry. Or if things don't go according to her plan when working in groups. She is a bit of a perfectionist. She relates to boys better than girls as she is not "girly".

so every 2 weeks in her regular class they make groups. Her current group his her and 3 other girls. The 3 other girls are clique y and frustrate my daughter by saying she is different. Not in a bullying way but since she gets upset when they don't use her ideas. I'm only getting my daughters version.

is this something to discuss with the teacher?

we tried to give her advice and riding out the 2 weeks but she is worried. This is her first "issue" ever at school

 
belljr said:
So my daughter is 9 and in 4th grade. She just recently turned 9 so she is one of the youngest. She is in advanced classes for math and other crap. Lookatme.

anyway she has always been emotional when she gets frustrated. If she has trouble with a task she tears up and gets angry. Or if things don't go according to her plan when working in groups. She is a bit of a perfectionist. She relates to boys better than girls as she is not "girly".

so every 2 weeks in her regular class they make groups. Her current group his her and 3 other girls. The 3 other girls are clique y and frustrate my daughter by saying she is different. Not in a bullying way but since she gets upset when they don't use her ideas. I'm only getting my daughters version.

is this something to discuss with the teacher?

we tried to give her advice and riding out the 2 weeks but she is worried. This is her first "issue" ever at school
Click to expand...
It will probably be good for her to integrate with some other girls more. The cliquiness is going to increase 1000 fold when she gets to Middle School. That said, if this is a really big deal for you, or her then sending a note to her teacher and asking to talk with her/him about it isn't out of line at all.

 
My only concern is if they are flat out mocking her.

other than that I told her to be herself

 
We're not sure vague 9 year old response :) that was our interpretation.

I'm not too worried over it atm

 
Tell her the other girls are just jealous because she's so pretty and all the boys like her more. Perfect opportunity to start watching football with her, and make sure she knows you love her more than mommy does.

 
belljr said:
anyway she has always been emotional when she gets frustrated. If she has trouble with a task she tears up and gets angry. Or if things don't go according to her plan when working in groups. She is a bit of a perfectionist.
Click to expand...
This could end up being a more serious issue than it seems.

 
Joe Summer said:
belljr said:
anyway she has always been emotional when she gets frustrated. If she has trouble with a task she tears up and gets angry. Or if things don't go according to her plan when working in groups. She is a bit of a perfectionist.
Click to expand...
This could end up being a more serious issue than it seems.
Click to expand...
yes. It was the one concern all her teachers mention but each year she gets better and better . I don't know if it's a self confidence thing or what because she has that in sports. She shouldn't because she is pretty good but afraid to mess up .she didn't get lack of confidence from me :P

 
I'm a weirdo. All my kids are weirdos. Being weird is something we can take pride in. She may not like that right now, but it's really what makes her special. I think she will need to resolve this issue on her own and all you can do is try and help find some shared interests with the girls and try not to take their observations personally. Much easier said than done.

 
Foosball God said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Foosball God said:
belljr said:
My only concern is if they are flat out mocking her.

other than that I told her to be herself
Click to expand...
Well you said it wasn't in a bullying way. That would seem to rule out flat out mocking her wouldn't it?
Click to expand...
Mocking = bullying?
Click to expand...
You wouldn't consider flat out mocking someone to be bullying behavior? I'm willing to be swayed if I like the contents of your newsletter.
Click to expand...
Not really. There's a difference between being mean or rude and bullying.

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Foosball God said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Foosball God said:
belljr said:
My only concern is if they are flat out mocking her.

other than that I told her to be herself
Click to expand...
Well you said it wasn't in a bullying way. That would seem to rule out flat out mocking her wouldn't it?
Click to expand...
Mocking = bullying?
Click to expand...
You wouldn't consider flat out mocking someone to be bullying behavior? I'm willing to be swayed if I like the contents of your newsletter.
Click to expand...
Not really. There's a difference between being mean or rude and bullying.
Click to expand...
I can see that. Some one off meanness wouldn't necessarily be bullying. But day after day and I would change my mind.

 
belljr said:
So my daughter is 9 and in 4th grade. She just recently turned 9 so she is one of the youngest. She is in advanced classes for math and other crap. Lookatme.

anyway she has always been emotional when she gets frustrated. If she has trouble with a task she tears up and gets angry. Or if things don't go according to her plan when working in groups. She is a bit of a perfectionist. She relates to boys better than girls as she is not "girly".

so every 2 weeks in her regular class they make groups. Her current group his her and 3 other girls. The 3 other girls are clique y and frustrate my daughter by saying she is different. Not in a bullying way but since she gets upset when they don't use her ideas. I'm only getting my daughters version.

is this something to discuss with the teacher?

we tried to give her advice and riding out the 2 weeks but she is worried. This is her first "issue" ever at school
Click to expand...
Talk to the parents down?

 
msommer said:
belljr said:
So my daughter is 9 and in 4th grade. She just recently turned 9 so she is one of the youngest. She is in advanced classes for math and other crap. Lookatme.

anyway she has always been emotional when she gets frustrated. If she has trouble with a task she tears up and gets angry. Or if things don't go according to her plan when working in groups. She is a bit of a perfectionist. She relates to boys better than girls as she is not "girly".

so every 2 weeks in her regular class they make groups. Her current group his her and 3 other girls. The 3 other girls are clique y and frustrate my daughter by saying she is different. Not in a bullying way but since she gets upset when they don't use her ideas. I'm only getting my daughters version.

is this something to discuss with the teacher?

we tried to give her advice and riding out the 2 weeks but she is worried. This is her first "issue" ever at school
Click to expand...
Talk to the parents down?
Click to expand...
and how do you propose I get in contact with these 3 kids parents?
 
msommer said:
belljr said:
So my daughter is 9 and in 4th grade. She just recently turned 9 so she is one of the youngest. She is in advanced classes for math and other crap. Lookatme.

anyway she has always been emotional when she gets frustrated. If she has trouble with a task she tears up and gets angry. Or if things don't go according to her plan when working in groups. She is a bit of a perfectionist. She relates to boys better than girls as she is not "girly".

so every 2 weeks in her regular class they make groups. Her current group his her and 3 other girls. The 3 other girls are clique y and frustrate my daughter by saying she is different. Not in a bullying way but since she gets upset when they don't use her ideas. I'm only getting my daughters version.

is this something to discuss with the teacher?

we tried to give her advice and riding out the 2 weeks but she is worried. This is her first "issue" ever at school
Click to expand...
Talk to the parents down?
Click to expand...
I hope so. Completely unnecessary imho.

 
belljr said:
msommer said:
belljr said:
So my daughter is 9 and in 4th grade. She just recently turned 9 so she is one of the youngest. She is in advanced classes for math and other crap. Lookatme.

anyway she has always been emotional when she gets frustrated. If she has trouble with a task she tears up and gets angry. Or if things don't go according to her plan when working in groups. She is a bit of a perfectionist. She relates to boys better than girls as she is not "girly".

so every 2 weeks in her regular class they make groups. Her current group his her and 3 other girls. The 3 other girls are clique y and frustrate my daughter by saying she is different. Not in a bullying way but since she gets upset when they don't use her ideas. I'm only getting my daughters version.

is this something to discuss with the teacher?

we tried to give her advice and riding out the 2 weeks but she is worried. This is her first "issue" ever at school
Click to expand...
Talk to the parents down?
Click to expand...
and how do you propose I get in contact with these 3 kids parents?
Click to expand...
Hire a private investigator

 
belljr said:
msommer said:
belljr said:
So my daughter is 9 and in 4th grade. She just recently turned 9 so she is one of the youngest. She is in advanced classes for math and other crap. Lookatme.

anyway she has always been emotional when she gets frustrated. If she has trouble with a task she tears up and gets angry. Or if things don't go according to her plan when working in groups. She is a bit of a perfectionist. She relates to boys better than girls as she is not "girly".

so every 2 weeks in her regular class they make groups. Her current group his her and 3 other girls. The 3 other girls are clique y and frustrate my daughter by saying she is different. Not in a bullying way but since she gets upset when they don't use her ideas. I'm only getting my daughters version.

is this something to discuss with the teacher?

we tried to give her advice and riding out the 2 weeks but she is worried. This is her first "issue" ever at school
Click to expand...
Talk to the parents down?
Click to expand...
and how do you propose I get in contact with these 3 kids parents?
Click to expand...
Over here there are lists of who is in your children's class with phone numbers etc. If that's not available I suppose the system has hamstrung you from actually doing something proactive

 
Talking to the other parents is the worst advice in the thread. That would just paint a big red X on your daughter as a snitch. Besides, the apple rarely falls far from the tree. The parents could be complete jerk offs that wouldn't accept that their little 10yo princess is a beotch.

 
She could always set up some fake social media accounts of these girls. Or submit some fake stories about them to thedirty.com

 
Indeed discuss with the teacher on the side, just for her feedback and to plant the seed to keep an eye out for you.

As an aside, might want to ask your daughter what girl friends she would consider for a play date and set something up.

Good luck!

 
Just mention it to the teacher who can give subtle comments to the group. They're trained for bullying of this nature.

 
Drop the "bully" word in the school system these days, and these girls will be ruined.

 
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