You know when you send your email you're going to make Cole's mother cry, right?
Do you know whether Cole has had trouble making friends?
Pretty sure that's the case based on what I've observed of him. Back in November, before all the playdate nonsense, Charlie had all the 8 boys in his class to the bowling alley for his birthday. Cole was definitely less socially mature than the others.
Yeah, and I feel sick over it. I can imagine Cole giving his Mom the impression that they are best buddies, talking about him all the time. Meanwhile Charlie has four other buddies he talks about, and never mentions Cole. At teh end of the day if we said "Charlie, it might really hurt Cole's feelings if you don't go to his house" then I'm certain he would go - he's a sensitive kid. But is it fair to put him in that spot given he has explicitly said he doesn't want to go over there?
What would you do?
I'd have to say that my 5 year old is a lot like Cole. He is very young for his class and seems to have a little trouble interacting with other kids. Not a huge issue, just a phase he probably will outgrow. A couple things I've observed:
-The social maturity between the oldest and youngest in a kindergarten class is dramatic. Other factors present, such as whether they have older siblings etc.
- Children of this age have begun to develop an intuitive understanding of social groups, but often can't verbalize it. In other words, Cole probably is aware that he isn't as close in friendship as his other classmates are to each other. But he has trouble telling his parents this or understanding why he is not part of the group.
- Exposing the child to more varied social interactions is the best way to give him the confidence and experience to deal with such situations. If Charlie is willing, it would be extremely beneficial for Cole to have a play date. To make it easier, maybe invite 1 other kid over.
There is nothing so heartbreaking as feeling like your child doesn't have any friends.