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Man sues over lack of 'Axe effect'

#1 User is offline   Sheriff Bart 

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  Posted 02 November 2009 - 12:04 PM

Quote

Axe claims it can make women love you even if you're dumb enough to smell like body spray you can buy at the drugstore. Yet poor, unsuspecting dudes spend their allowance hard-earned cash on the man deodorizer all across the world. And shockingly enough, Vaibhav Bedi, after seven years of shellacking himself in Lynx (the Asian version of Axe), has discovered the real "Axe effect"....


Bedi, apparently, found that Axe will keep you a virgin. The hapless 26-year-old Indian just can’t seem to attract a lady despite his aroma. (Or because of it?) So, he is suing Unilever, the makers of the scum bag spritz, for falsely claiming it is an eau de doin’ it. He’s asking the courts for about $80,000 in damages for side effects he calls "depression and psychological damage." In other words, "I've gone crazy pretending my right hand is a lady."

Because of the suit, the New Delhi court has been collecting half-used Axe products from unsatisfied customers (pun intended) to run forensic lab tests. Shudder to think what they’ll find out its chemical components are!

Bedi's lawyer thinks he's got a case even stronger than the cologne. "There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don't attract women. In fact, some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys." Cough, Padma Lakshmi. We have to admit the lawyer man's got a point, sure, but he's also pretty confident Bedi will, at least, get a big cash settlement. Well, if Axe didn't work at attracting women for poor Bedi, maybe being rich will.



Link

Studs, you know this guy?

This post has been edited by Sheriff Bart: 02 November 2009 - 12:06 PM

Excuse me while I whip this out.
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#2 User is offline   Leroy Hoard 

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Posted 02 November 2009 - 12:06 PM

He should have axed somebody.
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#3 User is offline   TommyGilmore 

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Posted 02 November 2009 - 12:10 PM

Quote

And shockingly enough, Vaibhav Bedi, after seven years of shellacking himself in Lynx (the Asian version of Axe), has discovered the real "Axe effect"....


Let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr.
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#4 User is online   BroncoFreak_2K3 

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Posted 02 November 2009 - 12:10 PM

Is about that Otis guy?

This post has been edited by BroncoFreak_2K3: 02 November 2009 - 12:18 PM

QUOTE (timschochet @ Feb 23, 2012, 1:33PM) Naturally. What an idiot.
QUOTE (Otis @ Oct 19, 2011, 8:29 PM) Otis, you were so stupid to pay a lot of money for that service.
QUOTE (timschochet @ Jan 20 2010, 10:04 AM) I'm weird, I know.
QUOTE (Ministry of Pain @ Dec 13 2009, 02:53 PM) I come off like a doosh no matter what I post.
QUOTE (Jaysus @ Nov 13 2008, 05:12 PM) my boner asked me to blackdot this thread for future reference.
QUOTE (AnonymousBob @ Aug 14 2007, 12:00 AM) When Joe Bryant is talking about shanking a dude you know it's bad.
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#5 User is online   [icon] 

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Posted 02 November 2009 - 12:10 PM

Whee... more stupid people.
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#6 User is offline   goonsquad 

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Posted 02 November 2009 - 12:27 PM

Turns out this is a hoax.

Quote

Axe spokesperson Heather Mitchell sent Asylum this statement:

"We've been following the news reports from India where a man was allegedly planning to take legal action for the Axe Effect not working for him personally. We can confirm this is a hoax. In fact the story originated from TheFakingNews.com. While the story is not true, we have to admit that it's pretty funny and the joke itself is very much in line with our brand tone -- playful, with a wink and a nudge. While Axe grooming products can help guys look, smell and feel great, there is only so much we can do; the rest is up to guys themselves."

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

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#7 User is offline   Zow 

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Posted 02 November 2009 - 12:31 PM

"mere puffery" down?

View PostOfficer Pete Malloy, on Sep 13 2008, 10:06 AM, said:

As usual, Woz is right.

View PostYSR, on Apr 1 2010, 08:37 AM, said:

:goodposting:
I was just typing a response that included the line, "Wozniak is super smart".

View PostDitkaless Wonders, on Dec 29 2008, 09:22 PM, said:

Frankly I dig the fact that Woz is always planning, thinking outside the box about how to get in the darn thing. He is both an idea man and a man of action except when out of ideas and paralyzed to inaction. He is paradox and dicotomy, yin and yang and wang. Woz is going to be somebody and when he is I hope maybe he will take my calls.

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#8 User is offline   Sheriff Bart 

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Posted 02 November 2009 - 12:43 PM

View Postgoonsquad, on Nov 2 2009, 01:27 PM, said:

Turns out this is a hoax.

Quote

Axe spokesperson Heather Mitchell sent Asylum this statement:

"We've been following the news reports from India where a man was allegedly planning to take legal action for the Axe Effect not working for him personally. We can confirm this is a hoax. In fact the story originated from TheFakingNews.com. While the story is not true, we have to admit that it's pretty funny and the joke itself is very much in line with our brand tone -- playful, with a wink and a nudge. While Axe grooming products can help guys look, smell and feel great, there is only so much we can do; the rest is up to guys themselves."



:thumbdown:
Excuse me while I whip this out.
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#9 User is offline   shake zula 

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Posted 02 November 2009 - 12:59 PM

View PostZow, on Nov 2 2009, 03:31 PM, said:

"mere puffery" down?


You must have been a hit at your LS. :pickle:
It is the Broodwich, forged in darkness from wheat harvested in Hell's half-acre, baked by Beelzebub, slathered with mayonnaise beaten from the evil eggs of dark chicken forced into sauce by the hands of a one-eyed madman, cheese boiled from the rancid teat of a fanged cow, layered with six-hundred and sixty-six separate meats from an animal which has maggots for blood!
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#10 User is offline   Zow 

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Posted 02 November 2009 - 01:02 PM

View Postshake zula, on Nov 2 2009, 02:59 PM, said:

View PostZow, on Nov 2 2009, 03:31 PM, said:

"mere puffery" down?


You must have been a hit at your LS. :shrug:

oh come on :bye:

View PostOfficer Pete Malloy, on Sep 13 2008, 10:06 AM, said:

As usual, Woz is right.

View PostYSR, on Apr 1 2010, 08:37 AM, said:

:goodposting:
I was just typing a response that included the line, "Wozniak is super smart".

View PostDitkaless Wonders, on Dec 29 2008, 09:22 PM, said:

Frankly I dig the fact that Woz is always planning, thinking outside the box about how to get in the darn thing. He is both an idea man and a man of action except when out of ideas and paralyzed to inaction. He is paradox and dicotomy, yin and yang and wang. Woz is going to be somebody and when he is I hope maybe he will take my calls.

I am the center of this place: http://cheezburger.com/View/3356296960
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#11 User is offline   shake zula 

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Posted 02 November 2009 - 01:04 PM

View PostZow, on Nov 2 2009, 04:02 PM, said:

View Postshake zula, on Nov 2 2009, 02:59 PM, said:

View PostZow, on Nov 2 2009, 03:31 PM, said:

"mere puffery" down?


You must have been a hit at your LS. :bag:

oh come on :bye:


:shrug: :nerd:
It is the Broodwich, forged in darkness from wheat harvested in Hell's half-acre, baked by Beelzebub, slathered with mayonnaise beaten from the evil eggs of dark chicken forced into sauce by the hands of a one-eyed madman, cheese boiled from the rancid teat of a fanged cow, layered with six-hundred and sixty-six separate meats from an animal which has maggots for blood!
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#12 User is offline   Ozymandias 

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Posted 02 November 2009 - 01:28 PM

Funny you should axe.
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#13 User is offline   Maroney=Sped 

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Posted 02 November 2009 - 02:45 PM

Should have gone with Sex Panther.
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