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#149601 Homer J Simpson

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 10:56 PM

Great, just as I'm getting drunk, you whores all fall asleep. :angry:

Will hump for food




#149602 strykerpks

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 11:01 PM

Great, just as I'm getting drunk, you whores all fall asleep. :angry:

Whoa whoa whoa, Miss Lippy. 

 

Yeah, I'm going to bed


Auctioneer: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Glen Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioneer: She had nine STDs.
Glen Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioneer: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Glen Quagmire: Fifty bucks.

Peter Griffin: I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
Glen Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge.

#149603 Homer J Simpson

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 11:34 PM


Great, just as I'm getting drunk, you whores all fall asleep. :angry:

Whoa whoa whoa, Miss Lippy. 
 
Yeah, I'm going to bed

Quitter.

Will hump for food


#149604 cosjobs

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 12:22 AM

Hi.

ABOUT ####### TIME



#149605 Uruk-Hai

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 01:18 AM

Morning, all :coffee:



#149606 YSR

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 01:23 AM

Morning, all :coffee:


:coffee:

#149607 YSR

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 01:31 AM


Vanerson FTW

 
Spell it right, Carolyn. :hot:

:shrug: It's what the Internet told me. Take it up with Pickles.

#149608 Osaurus

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 04:43 AM

In Daytona for a couple of hours...seems seedier than last time I was here.
- no matter where you go, there you are.

She was smoking some of that Endor Fern.



Someone get the new kid a map of the Shart Pool


#149609 Abraham

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 05:29 AM

Awake and marginally hung over. Good morning. :coffee:.

Edited by Abraham, 14 September 2013 - 05:31 AM.

There's a science to walking through windows.

 


#149610 Abraham

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 05:31 AM

In Daytona for a couple of hours...seems seedier than last time I was here.


Doubtful.

There's a science to walking through windows.

 


#149611 Uruk-Hai

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 05:43 AM

Got pretty chilly here last night. 46 degrees outside when I woke up. I had left the windows open and it was 62 in the house. I was tempted to give the heater a chance to prove itself, but didn't. :muscleflex:

 

(my toes are cold)



#149612 Abraham

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 05:45 AM

Got pretty chilly here last night. 46 degrees outside when I woke up. I had left the windows open and it was 62 in the house. I was tempted to give the heater a chance to prove itself, but didn't. :muscleflex:
 
(my toes are cold)


I'm all about adding blankets before turning on the heater. Feels like I'm suffocating when hot air is blowing on me.

There's a science to walking through windows.

 


#149613 Uruk-Hai

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 05:49 AM

 

Got pretty chilly here last night. 46 degrees outside when I woke up. I had left the windows open and it was 62 in the house. I was tempted to give the heater a chance to prove itself, but didn't. :muscleflex:
 
(my toes are cold)


I'm all about adding blankets before turning on the heater. Feels like I'm suffocating when hot air is blowing on me.

 

 

 

 

Got pretty chilly here last night. 46 degrees outside when I woke up. I had left the windows open and it was 62 in the house. I was tempted to give the heater a chance to prove itself, but didn't. :muscleflex:
 
(my toes are cold)


I'm all about adding blankets before turning on the heater. Feels like I'm suffocating when hot air is blowing on me.

 

I'm the same way. I've got a thick comforter on my bed, so I'm fine there. But, on weekends, I'm wearing shorts and am barefoot when I'm home.

 

Btw, I'm gonna leave the "do you only turn your furnace up one degree a day" joke to others ;)



#149614 Uruk-Hai

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 05:50 AM

:sadbanana:



#149615 Abraham

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 05:55 AM

We don't have a furnace or boiler or radiator - its all one unit. But yes, I do probably adjust it one degree at a time. :shrug: We keep the place warm during the day and then cooler at night when sleeping.

There's a science to walking through windows.

 


#149616 mr roboto

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 05:56 AM

Hey Abe, you must turn your heater up one degree at a time, amiright?

Edited by mr roboto, 14 September 2013 - 05:56 AM.

Come on guys. He threw eight innings of one hit ball and needed someone to close it out for him. So what if the closer could have been a fifth grader?


#149617 Leeroy Jenkins

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 06:00 AM

My wife is like a recently potty trained child; she must tell me each time she ####s.

OK - then YOU are the ########.


#149618 Abraham

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 06:01 AM

My wife is like a recently potty trained child; she must tell me each time she ####s.


Bet that leads to lots of sexy time.

There's a science to walking through windows.

 


#149619 Uruk-Hai

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 06:02 AM

I'm sure this could be said for just about all of my posts, Leeroy, but that's just.........odd



#149620 Ignoramus

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 06:03 AM


 


Gambling. Jello shots. Parades outside your door. Fireworks. Sounds ####### sweet to me!

For someone like me, who's lazy as ####, it's paradise. For someone who actually doesn't want to just rot away or actually wants to have a positive impact on society, I can see where it may not always be a good fit.
 
 

 


Gambling. Jello shots. Parades outside your door. Fireworks. Sounds ####### sweet to me!

For someone like me, who's lazy as ####, it's paradise. For someone who actually doesn't want to just rot away or actually wants to have a positive impact on society, I can see where it may not always be a good fit.
 
 
It's still a fantastic place.  I highly recommend to people to come visit.  We're keeping the house and FBGs are welcome at Casa Paloma.
:sehorn:
<---THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK--->

#149621 General Malaise

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 06:05 AM



Stryker, get off your lazy drunk ### and start watching the damn show. What the hell is wrong with you people?!?

This whole "human being depending on me" thing had put a bit of a hamper on my TV. At least I'm drinking
 
 

Took my sons to the local HS football game tonight.  Anybody wearing a toga got in free.  It was a scene, man.  I took a flask with me thinking I might have a chance to mix a small cocktail, but after running into every kid I ever coached over the last 5 years and all their parents, I thought better of having whiskey breath.  
 
So put me in the stone cold sober camp.  Also the "out of weed" camp.  This "Dr. Greenthumb" I've been using lately is about as reliable as an Astros' relief pitcher.  Would love a night of knock out, but have to coach soccer bright and early.  Considering my team got clobbered 4-1 last week, I should just get hammered and let Hazel coach the team.  

Jeebus, even I have weed

Rub it in, jerkass.
"You see, I am uninvolved, and my posture in life is one of detachment, irony, and amusement, which may not be a particularly lofty posture but which nevertheless has the redeeming merit of having not the slightest notion of what is good for you." - Frederick Exley

#149622 Ignoramus

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 06:07 AM

Well, hi everyone. Things suck but they really aren't so bad when I step back and look at it. I'm getting honest with myself, my career, my finances. That's new for me. I'm drinking rum and cherry 7up warm because the ice maker is broke, and I'm out of smokes. Maybe ill go get some more in a bit. Maybe not. But it could be worse. I talked to some people - the worst people to owe money to - I owe a ####bload of money to in the last week and they're willing to work with me to get it paid. I got honest with my business partners about the state of things and what we can do to fix it. I listened to some music I had forgotten about today and it made me happy. I have anothrr kid on the way and i slipped and told my mom her name but its cool because she liked it and it made her feel good to he in on the secret.

Bentley invited me to his magic football league. Trey made a video pumping in three dollars of gas. Everyone made fun of my kids name then didnt. It could be worse. A lot worse.

So this is being 36. It's not all skittles and blow jobs but it will do. Sleep tight Jim tan.

I've got a guy that can get you some ice. Just say the word, pal.
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#149623 Abraham

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 06:08 AM

Good morning gm. As luck would have it I am listening to Elton John (seriously) and getting my orange gear ready (not really). Game day is upon us.

There's a science to walking through windows.

 


#149624 Uruk-Hai

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 06:13 AM

I can't recommend Granada highly enough. Krista's place is great, Julio's a blast, not speaking much (any) Spanished is ok (the ATMs also have Ingles - just like here!), it's safe, and the entire trip is cheaper than a lot of tropical places. Plus - the Isle of Monkeys and superheromidgetgoddess across the street!



#149625 cosjobs

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 06:24 AM

Is there a thread where we can post angry facebook posts related to the election? I don't want to taint this thread and I don't want to bicker about politics, but boy, I sure like reading angry rants from strangers. :bag:



#149626 Leeroy Jenkins

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 07:08 AM

I'm sure this could be said for just about all of my posts, Leeroy, but that's just.........odd

 

I think it's because it doesn't happen that often where I'm a steady scheduled kinda guy. What, I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest in here, were we not?


OK - then YOU are the ########.


#149627 Leeroy Jenkins

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 07:09 AM

I was pretty bummed when Mayorga lost to that pretty boy manufactured story De La Hoya.


OK - then YOU are the ########.


#149628 UniAlias

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 07:20 AM

 

 


Stryker, get off your lazy drunk ### and start watching the damn show. What the hell is wrong with you people?!?

This whole "human being depending on me" thing had put a bit of a hamper on my TV. At least I'm drinking
 
 

Took my sons to the local HS football game tonight.  Anybody wearing a toga got in free.  It was a scene, man.  I took a flask with me thinking I might have a chance to mix a small cocktail, but after running into every kid I ever coached over the last 5 years and all their parents, I thought better of having whiskey breath.  
 
So put me in the stone cold sober camp.  Also the "out of weed" camp.  This "Dr. Greenthumb" I've been using lately is about as reliable as an Astros' relief pitcher.  Would love a night of knock out, but have to coach soccer bright and early.  Considering my team got clobbered 4-1 last week, I should just get hammered and let Hazel coach the team.  

Jeebus, even I have weed

Rub it in, jerkass.

 

 

I may know a guy who could help with that situation if you're really in a bind, GB.  :oldunsure:



#149629 Uruk-Hai

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 07:22 AM

 

I'm sure this could be said for just about all of my posts, Leeroy, but that's just.........odd

 

I think it's because it doesn't happen that often where I'm a steady scheduled kinda guy. What, I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest in here, were we not?

 

Certainly. Just never had a woman keep my up to date on bowel movements. Though - on a related note - my first wife would give me a daily countdown on when her period would start. She had god-awful PMS and wanted to make sure I was warned plenty.



#149630 General Malaise

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 07:40 AM


Is there a thread where we can post angry facebook posts related to the election? I don't want to taint this thread and I don't want to bicker about politics, but boy, I sure like reading angry rants from strangers. :bag:


Huh?
"You see, I am uninvolved, and my posture in life is one of detachment, irony, and amusement, which may not be a particularly lofty posture but which nevertheless has the redeeming merit of having not the slightest notion of what is good for you." - Frederick Exley

#149631 General Malaise

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 07:45 AM


 

 


Stryker, get off your lazy drunk ### and start watching the damn show. What the hell is wrong with you people?!?

This whole "human being depending on me" thing had put a bit of a hamper on my TV. At least I'm drinking
 
 

Took my sons to the local HS football game tonight.  Anybody wearing a toga got in free.  It was a scene, man.  I took a flask with me thinking I might have a chance to mix a small cocktail, but after running into every kid I ever coached over the last 5 years and all their parents, I thought better of having whiskey breath.  
 
So put me in the stone cold sober camp.  Also the "out of weed" camp.  This "Dr. Greenthumb" I've been using lately is about as reliable as an Astros' relief pitcher.  Would love a night of knock out, but have to coach soccer bright and early.  Considering my team got clobbered 4-1 last week, I should just get hammered and let Hazel coach the team.  

Jeebus, even I have weed
Rub it in, jerkass.
 
 
I may know a guy who could help with that situation if you're really in a bind, GB.  :oldunsure:

:bind:
"You see, I am uninvolved, and my posture in life is one of detachment, irony, and amusement, which may not be a particularly lofty posture but which nevertheless has the redeeming merit of having not the slightest notion of what is good for you." - Frederick Exley

#149632 Abraham

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 07:59 AM

My guy in the Tennessee sports machine thinks 28.5 is very very generous and thinks its going to ugly very quickly.

There's a science to walking through windows.

 


#149633 cosjobs

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 08:00 AM

 

 

 

Stryker, get off your lazy drunk ### and start watching the damn show. What the hell is wrong with you people?!?

This whole "human being depending on me" thing had put a bit of a hamper on my TV. At least I'm drinking
 
 

Took my sons to the local HS football game tonight.  Anybody wearing a toga got in free.  It was a scene, man.  I took a flask with me thinking I might have a chance to mix a small cocktail, but after running into every kid I ever coached over the last 5 years and all their parents, I thought better of having whiskey breath.  
 
So put me in the stone cold sober camp.  Also the "out of weed" camp.  This "Dr. Greenthumb" I've been using lately is about as reliable as an Astros' relief pitcher.  Would love a night of knock out, but have to coach soccer bright and early.  Considering my team got clobbered 4-1 last week, I should just get hammered and let Hazel coach the team.  

Jeebus, even I have weed

Rub it in, jerkass.

 

 

I may know a guy who could help with that situation if you're really in a bind, GB.   :oldunsure:

 

 

I think he can get some at the Safeway in Portland



#149634 UniAlias

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 08:03 AM

 

 

 

 

Stryker, get off your lazy drunk ### and start watching the damn show. What the hell is wrong with you people?!?

This whole "human being depending on me" thing had put a bit of a hamper on my TV. At least I'm drinking
 
 

Took my sons to the local HS football game tonight.  Anybody wearing a toga got in free.  It was a scene, man.  I took a flask with me thinking I might have a chance to mix a small cocktail, but after running into every kid I ever coached over the last 5 years and all their parents, I thought better of having whiskey breath.  
 
So put me in the stone cold sober camp.  Also the "out of weed" camp.  This "Dr. Greenthumb" I've been using lately is about as reliable as an Astros' relief pitcher.  Would love a night of knock out, but have to coach soccer bright and early.  Considering my team got clobbered 4-1 last week, I should just get hammered and let Hazel coach the team.  

Jeebus, even I have weed
Rub it in, jerkass.
 
 
I may know a guy who could help with that situation if you're really in a bind, GB.   :oldunsure:

:bind:

 

 

:lmao:

 

PM sent.  



#149635 Guster

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 08:03 AM

My guy in the Tennessee sports machine thinks 28.5 is very very generous and thinks its going to ugly very quickly.


I hate playing huge spreads, but if anyone can cover, it would be Oregon

Abe naming a child Cash is like me naming a child Pigment.


I would happily eat her afterbirth.


I never knew the kids live with mom n dad basically their whole life.


#149636 cosjobs

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 08:04 AM

 

 

Is there a thread where we can post angry facebook posts related to the election? I don't want to taint this thread and I don't want to bicker about politics, but boy, I sure like reading angry rants from strangers. :bag:


Huh?

 

I lost one of my Kindle's and just found it this morning. When I connected it online, that was the last post/screen to appear. I thought I would  ask for an update of the election, but either the ability to type in a reply no longer works on the new board or I am too malaisesque to figure it out.



#149637 Abraham

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 08:06 AM

Just put 10 in the tank. Big day.

There's a science to walking through windows.

 


#149638 kevzilla

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 08:11 AM

Just put 10 in the tank. Big day.

 

Whoa, slow down there, Gatsby.


Looking forward to regretting this.

 

 


#149639 krista4

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 08:29 AM

I'm just catching up on a few things but first...k4 are you telling us that you just happened to get invited to a fight watching party with ricardo mayorga? .


:yes: This is what I'm saying. Should be interesting!

(General Malaise @ Apr 23 2010, 04:26 PM) I fat fingered my way to friend PETA, confusing the hell out of my friends for a few minutes. I deleted it as soon as I could, then went out and ate a Bald Eagle.

 
 


#149640 Abraham

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 08:30 AM

Shot video has to happen.

There's a science to walking through windows.

 


#149641 krista4

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 08:31 AM

Omg, please please please get Mayorga to do a shot video. Preferably with trash talk towards me.

Didn't realize he's dabbling in mma, was a fan of him back in the day


Ohhhh, shot video is great idea.

(General Malaise @ Apr 23 2010, 04:26 PM) I fat fingered my way to friend PETA, confusing the hell out of my friends for a few minutes. I deleted it as soon as I could, then went out and ate a Bald Eagle.

 
 


#149642 bentley

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 08:32 AM

That's pretty sweet.

Just a reminder for the Austin jimtanners that the bentley tailgate will be open 3 hours before the game.
A properly executed intervention places you at a huge disadvantage. You are caught off guard, heavily outnumbered and most likely badly hungover. An intervention is a sneak attack, a very personal Pearl Harbor. You think your life is careening happily along like a brilliantly out-of-control speed boat and suddenly Japanese zeros (piloted by your friends, no less) are shrieking out of the sky to drop thousand-pound guilt bombs on your happy little ship.

Nobody cares about your fantasy team.

#149643 Tecumseh

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 08:45 AM

Happy bday k4.


It was only a matter of time until this thread turned into a discussion about Wilford Brimley's oaty penis


Presenting a more civil attitude since 2010.

#149644 Uruk-Hai

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 08:47 AM

 

 

 

Is there a thread where we can post angry facebook posts related to the election? I don't want to taint this thread and I don't want to bicker about politics, but boy, I sure like reading angry rants from strangers. :bag:


Huh?

 

I lost one of my Kindle's and just found it this morning. When I connected it online, that was the last post/screen to appear. I thought I would  ask for an update of the election, but either the ability to type in a reply no longer works on the new board or I am too malaisesque to figure it out.

 

Did you find it in the compost garden along with Ms Cos' purse full of meat?



#149645 krista4

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 08:52 AM

Happy bday k4.


:lmao:

(General Malaise @ Apr 23 2010, 04:26 PM) I fat fingered my way to friend PETA, confusing the hell out of my friends for a few minutes. I deleted it as soon as I could, then went out and ate a Bald Eagle.

 
 


#149646 St. Louis Bob

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 09:30 AM

 

Morning, all :coffee:


:coffee:

 

 

Little disappointed you didn't reply to my profile post.  I guess you're a "Mom" and stuff now.

 

 


Stryker, get off your lazy drunk ### and start watching the damn show. What the hell is wrong with you people?!?

This whole "human being depending on me" thing had put a bit of a hamper on my TV. At least I'm drinking

 

 

Took my sons to the local HS football game tonight.  Anybody wearing a toga got in free.  It was a scene, man.  I took a flask with me thinking I might have a chance to mix a small cocktail, but after running into every kid I ever coached over the last 5 years and all their parents, I thought better of having whiskey breath.  

 

So put me in the stone cold sober camp.  Also the "out of weed" camp.  This "Dr. Greenthumb" I've been using lately is about as reliable as an Astros' relief pitcher.  Would love a night of knock out, but have to coach soccer bright and early.  Considering my team got clobbered 4-1 last week, I should just get hammered and let Hazel coach the team.  

Jeebus, even I have weed

 

:lmao: :thumbup:

 

I have all kinds of it.  Really good stuff too.

 

Happy bday k4.

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:


Don't bother me, I'm eating fried chicken with Uni under an overpass.


#149647 St. Louis Bob

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 09:35 AM

This no drinking stuff isn't all that bad.  Cal spent the night at his GB's and that little jack off Dylan woke me up at 7:30.  We took a 4 mile walk together first.  Then we came home and kicked the soccer ball around.  After that was a game of checkers even though he wants me to teach him chess.  Then to the hardware store and lunch at Steak N Shake after that.  Now he has a soccer game.  I'm telling you no way do I get this much stuff done with a hangover. :oldunsure:

 

Pretty sure Steak N Shake kids working are scamming too.  It was 11:00 so they were very slow and it took the kid almost 4 minutes to give me my total.  This doesn't happen if you put the order into the computer and of course there wasn't a receipt.  Plus my one kid's meal and one burger with a cheese fry was wrong too.  I called and they are giving me a $25 gift card.  Of course I e-mailed corporate about it too.  GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!


Don't bother me, I'm eating fried chicken with Uni under an overpass.


#149648 St. Louis Bob

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 09:35 AM

I'll still be getting drunk later though. :bag:


Don't bother me, I'm eating fried chicken with Uni under an overpass.


#149649 T Bell

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 09:44 AM

I'll still be getting drunk later though. :bag:

 

Why'd you delete your Facebook post? 


I hipple so you don't have to.

 

I :wub: nested quotes.


#149650 General Malaise

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Posted 14 September 2013 - 09:55 AM

I was pretty bummed when Mayorga lost to that pretty boy manufactured story De La Hoya.

 

Just heard he is in rehab for teh booze.


"You see, I am uninvolved, and my posture in life is one of detachment, irony, and amusement, which may not be a particularly lofty posture but which nevertheless has the redeeming merit of having not the slightest notion of what is good for you." - Frederick Exley




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