Arizona Ron
Footballguy
Saturday
My wife was a little bummed out in the morning; I asked her what was wrong and she just said she misses Candice (who left back to college in Houston a week or so ago). “Hey, tell you what. I’ll call the babysitter and we can go out to dinner and maybe do a show or something – just the two of us. Let me wine and dine you
.” She laughed and said she’d love to.
Later that day, I dropped my daughter off at the sitter and went back home to shower and get dressed for a night out with the wife (I always wait to find out what my wife wants to wear because that drives what I’m going to wear and where we’re going to go). My wife decides she’s in a jeans/dress boots/sweater mood so I go business casual.
We decide on an upper-tier Italian place that my wife likes; it’s a real nice place but not upper-tier enough to feel obligated to wear a suit/tie. While we’re eating, she received several texted messages that didn’t seem to break her attention from our dinner and conversation; after dinner, my wife said that Girl 1 and Girl 3 (from post 540) wanted to hang out but she didn’t want to ruin our night. I said, “No problem, why don’t we meet them out?” – I know my wife, she wanted to hang out with them but didn’t want to say outright that she wanted to cut our night short and hang with the girls. It’s cool.
We leave the restaurant about 8:00pm and head to the sports bar to meet up with Girl 1 & 3; on the ride there, I call the babysitter to let her know we’ll be a little late. She says: “(daughter) feel asleep with (babysitter’s daughter) watching Madagascar 3, do you want her to just stay here the night?” Me: “Only if it isn’t an inconvenience.” Babysitter: “It’s no problem, plus (babysitter’s daughter) was said last time they fell asleep and (daughter) was gone when she woke up.”
It’s an unseasonably warm so we really weren’t ready to go home early anyway. We get to the bar and Girl 1 and Girl 3 are sitting at a table. We join them at a table and Girl 3 says, “Hey Ron, your friend is at the bar (laughing)”. I look over at the bar and good lord, it’s Angie with some guy. I didn’t pay the comment much attention. The girls are chatting uncontrollably at times – It’s doesn’t seem like a conversation, it seems like three sports radio guests all fighting for airtime at once in a debate. Annoying.
Girl 3: (who was keenly observing my annoyance) “Ron, too much girl talk for you (laughing)?”
Me: “No, I’m fine – just waiting for my queue to jump in ” They all laughed.
Me: (turned to my wife) “Maybe I’ll head home and come back and pick you up later.”
Wife: “No, it’s ok we’ll go in a bit”
Me: “It’s no problem, I don’t want to ruin your fun”
Girl 3: “I can drop her off, I live right near you guys”
Me: “Or that”
Wife: (to Girl 3) “Are you sure?”
Girl 3: “It’s no problem”
I say my good byes and head home.
It’s about 12:30pm; I’m on the couch at home finishing off a beer, nodding off while watching TV – I perked up when I hear a car pulling into my driveway. I notice the time, jeez it’s late. I walk up to the window and look outside. JFC – Girl 3 and my wife are carrying Angie up the driveway. WTF?!?!?!
I open the door to assist:
Me: “What…the…####”?
Wife: “Calm down, we’re just helping her”
Me: “What happened to her and most importantly, why is she here?”
Girl 3: “She was at the bar when she got into a fight with some ###hole guy”
Me: “Why is she here???”
Wife: “She was all drunk and the bouncers wanted her and the guy to leave”
Me: “WHY IS SHE HERE!!!”
(at this point, Girl 3 and my wife are talking over each other)
Wife: (to me) “Are you going to keep cutting me off?”
Girl 3: “We couldn’t just let her leave alone. What if that guy followed outside or something?”
Me: “So you bring her here?”
Wife: “Babe, it’s girl code. We can’t leave a girlfriend hanging like that”
Me: “girl code?...girlfriend?”
Girl 3: “When things started getting out of hand, we went over to help”
Me: “You broke up a fight?”
Wife: “We heard Angie yelling so we went over to see what was going on and the guy was acting like nothing happened. Angie looked like she drank too much so we wanted to keep an eye on her.”
Me: “So you bring her here?”
Wife: “Yes, it’s my house too. Or did you forget that?”
I let it go. My wife and Girl 3 take Angie to the guest room. I go back to the couch, steaming pissed and fall asleep.
Sunday morning
I’m awakened by someone straddled across my lap with alcohol morning breath…guess who:
Angie: “Hey Ron”
Me: “Good morning, are you ready for someone to take you home?”
Angie: “Not yet, I just wanted to say thank you for letting your wife bring me here to see you”
I politely push Angie off of me and go upstairs to wake up my wife and Girl 3.
Me: (nudging my wife): “Babe, please get this crazy ##### out of our house”
Wife: (she wakes up disoriented) “What?”
Girl 3 (moves around a bit)
Me: “Angie. Please take her home”
Wife: “If you’re up, you take her home (angry tone)”
Me: (getting louder) “I didn’t want her to come here last night. Why am I talking her home?”
Girl 3: (awake now, gets out of the bed and darts her naked body to the bathroom – we both pause for a sec to glance at Girl 3 streaking
)
Wife: “Do I act up when you have guest?”
Me: “You’re right (sarcastically) Never mind”
I leave to go back downstairs. I make a cup of coffee while Angie walks into the kitchen behind me.
Angie: “I’m sorry about last night”
Me: “You didn’t do anything, don’t be sorry”
She keeps talking while I walk away. I go out on the deck to smoke. I need a minute to take in what’s going on. I take Angie home, who talked about what an ###hole the guy she was hanging out with was and that it was all HIS fault they got kicked out. I drive – giving zero ####s to what she’s saying.
My wife was a little bummed out in the morning; I asked her what was wrong and she just said she misses Candice (who left back to college in Houston a week or so ago). “Hey, tell you what. I’ll call the babysitter and we can go out to dinner and maybe do a show or something – just the two of us. Let me wine and dine you
.” She laughed and said she’d love to.Later that day, I dropped my daughter off at the sitter and went back home to shower and get dressed for a night out with the wife (I always wait to find out what my wife wants to wear because that drives what I’m going to wear and where we’re going to go). My wife decides she’s in a jeans/dress boots/sweater mood so I go business casual.
We decide on an upper-tier Italian place that my wife likes; it’s a real nice place but not upper-tier enough to feel obligated to wear a suit/tie. While we’re eating, she received several texted messages that didn’t seem to break her attention from our dinner and conversation; after dinner, my wife said that Girl 1 and Girl 3 (from post 540) wanted to hang out but she didn’t want to ruin our night. I said, “No problem, why don’t we meet them out?” – I know my wife, she wanted to hang out with them but didn’t want to say outright that she wanted to cut our night short and hang with the girls. It’s cool.
We leave the restaurant about 8:00pm and head to the sports bar to meet up with Girl 1 & 3; on the ride there, I call the babysitter to let her know we’ll be a little late. She says: “(daughter) feel asleep with (babysitter’s daughter) watching Madagascar 3, do you want her to just stay here the night?” Me: “Only if it isn’t an inconvenience.” Babysitter: “It’s no problem, plus (babysitter’s daughter) was said last time they fell asleep and (daughter) was gone when she woke up.”
It’s an unseasonably warm so we really weren’t ready to go home early anyway. We get to the bar and Girl 1 and Girl 3 are sitting at a table. We join them at a table and Girl 3 says, “Hey Ron, your friend is at the bar (laughing)”. I look over at the bar and good lord, it’s Angie with some guy. I didn’t pay the comment much attention. The girls are chatting uncontrollably at times – It’s doesn’t seem like a conversation, it seems like three sports radio guests all fighting for airtime at once in a debate. Annoying.
Girl 3: (who was keenly observing my annoyance) “Ron, too much girl talk for you (laughing)?”
Me: “No, I’m fine – just waiting for my queue to jump in
” They all laughed.Me: (turned to my wife) “Maybe I’ll head home and come back and pick you up later.”
Wife: “No, it’s ok we’ll go in a bit”
Me: “It’s no problem, I don’t want to ruin your fun”
Girl 3: “I can drop her off, I live right near you guys”
Me: “Or that”
Wife: (to Girl 3) “Are you sure?”
Girl 3: “It’s no problem”
I say my good byes and head home.
It’s about 12:30pm; I’m on the couch at home finishing off a beer, nodding off while watching TV – I perked up when I hear a car pulling into my driveway. I notice the time, jeez it’s late. I walk up to the window and look outside. JFC – Girl 3 and my wife are carrying Angie up the driveway. WTF?!?!?!
I open the door to assist:
Me: “What…the…####”?
Wife: “Calm down, we’re just helping her”
Me: “What happened to her and most importantly, why is she here?”
Girl 3: “She was at the bar when she got into a fight with some ###hole guy”
Me: “Why is she here???”
Wife: “She was all drunk and the bouncers wanted her and the guy to leave”
Me: “WHY IS SHE HERE!!!”
(at this point, Girl 3 and my wife are talking over each other)
Wife: (to me) “Are you going to keep cutting me off?”
Girl 3: “We couldn’t just let her leave alone. What if that guy followed outside or something?”
Me: “So you bring her here?”
Wife: “Babe, it’s girl code. We can’t leave a girlfriend hanging like that”
Me: “girl code?...girlfriend?”
Girl 3: “When things started getting out of hand, we went over to help”
Me: “You broke up a fight?”
Wife: “We heard Angie yelling so we went over to see what was going on and the guy was acting like nothing happened. Angie looked like she drank too much so we wanted to keep an eye on her.”
Me: “So you bring her here?”
Wife: “Yes, it’s my house too. Or did you forget that?”
I let it go. My wife and Girl 3 take Angie to the guest room. I go back to the couch, steaming pissed and fall asleep.
Sunday morning
I’m awakened by someone straddled across my lap with alcohol morning breath…guess who:
Angie: “Hey Ron”
Me: “Good morning, are you ready for someone to take you home?”
Angie: “Not yet, I just wanted to say thank you for letting your wife bring me here to see you”
I politely push Angie off of me and go upstairs to wake up my wife and Girl 3.
Me: (nudging my wife): “Babe, please get this crazy ##### out of our house”
Wife: (she wakes up disoriented) “What?”
Girl 3 (moves around a bit)
Me: “Angie. Please take her home”
Wife: “If you’re up, you take her home (angry tone)”
Me: (getting louder) “I didn’t want her to come here last night. Why am I talking her home?”
Girl 3: (awake now, gets out of the bed and darts her naked body to the bathroom – we both pause for a sec to glance at Girl 3 streaking
)Wife: “Do I act up when you have guest?”
Me: “You’re right (sarcastically) Never mind”
I leave to go back downstairs. I make a cup of coffee while Angie walks into the kitchen behind me.
Angie: “I’m sorry about last night”
Me: “You didn’t do anything, don’t be sorry”
She keeps talking while I walk away. I go out on the deck to smoke. I need a minute to take in what’s going on. I take Angie home, who talked about what an ###hole the guy she was hanging out with was and that it was all HIS fault they got kicked out. I drive – giving zero ####s to what she’s saying.
ldhat:
