I know I've got it made compared to a lot of situations, but I'm starting to see some warning signs with my kid's behavior and I'm wondering if people have encountered a like situation.
My daughter is 17. Generally she's pretty responsible. Gets mostly A's and B's (carrying a 3.5). Works at a karate school and has her 3rd degree belt. She's kind of a sanguine personality - which is part of the problem, I think. She's not the most focused of people.
I'm not terribly excited about the friends she has. We found that she was texting at 3 AM-ish for several days during the school year. You could see that she was exhausted. This led to me taking her phone away. Her reaction to that was using one of the internet text methods, but she wasn't smart enough to close the window that told one of her friends "I'm going to have to find a new way to text at night because my dad is monitoring my texts on my phone". Which led to a REAL blowup (trust is a big thing with me and I hate being lied to). I told her that I didn't want to have to look through her text messages but she wasn't leaving me with much choice.
The latest thing is an exchange she had with a friend where he said "So and so said we need to 'pop your weed cherry'" to which she simply replied "Okay".
We had a meeting with a college planner that she showed almost no interest in as she sat there. We're trying to find out if she even wants to go to college and the reaction is mostly "Meh".
Anyway, it's not any one major thing that concerns me, just a few reddish flags.
Am I overreacting? Should I just let it play out or should I be more strict? She has a lot of spare time on her hands and I'm thinking of making her get another part time job. Is it better to step in and give direction rather than let your 17 year old choose it?