How often do you have a "tough day"? (1 Viewer)

[MAC_32]

I strategically block off my calendar to prevent this from happening. The second I have a tough meeting on the calendar, I'm not available the rest of the day. Emergencies happen as do problematic meetings on already busy days, but this approach significantly minimize the volume.

 

[Joe Bryant]

I'm not sure if it's just me, so I thought I'd ask here.

It seems like I hear more frequently now people talking about how they need to help or attend to a person because "They had a tough day".

As in, "I had to skip the event as I needed to stay home with ____________ as they've had a tough day".

And for this discussion, assume this isn't the person just trying to get out of the event.

Made me wonder how much is "normal" for this?

How many times a month would you say you end the day and think, "That was a tough day".

It’s interesting because what I think you are talking about just happened to me this past weekend. Saturday night my wife and I were hosting (and paying for) a small family gathering of 16 people including significant others at an offsite location (not our home). One twenty-something family member was bringing a new boyfriend. A couple of hours before the event, the family member asked us in a group text whether it would be okay if the boyfriend brought his sister, the sister’s boyfriend and the sister’s two children because the sister (who no one knows or has ever met) was having a “tough day.” Apparently someone said something privately because the ask was immediately followed up with a “never mind” before we had a chance to respond. Now the family member making the request is super sweet and has a huge heart, but given that my wife and I were coming out of pocket to treat our family, it was a super odd request and contained the very same verbiage mentioned in your post.

Thanks. I do wonder if this is a younger person thing as well. It seems I most often hear it from that range. But also my sample size of people is super small.

 

[Thorn]

Maybe it's part of the whole "mental health is a priority" wave? There's been a significant effort to de-stigmatize therapy, seeking help, admitting you are struggling, etc. And while there's obviously a lot of good in that, I think there's some instances where maybe the pendulum has swung too far.

 

[bigbottom]

Maybe it's part of the whole "mental health is a priority" wave? There's been a significant effort to de-stigmatize therapy, seeking help, admitting you are struggling, etc. And while there's obviously a lot of good in that, I think there's some instances where maybe the pendulum has swung too far.

This was a while back, maybe 10 years ago, when I was at the firm. We had a young attorney scheduled on one of our cases. We were working long days getting ready for a big trial. A couple of days in the two weeks leading up to our trial date, he just didn’t show up to work. When we inquired as to his whereabouts, he advised that he needed a mental health day. I respect that he was attending to and prioritizing his mental health, but that is just an unworkable situation in a law practice when you’re getting ready for trial (or handling some huge transaction with a deadline). He ultimately moved on to a much less demanding career position and seems to be doing very well.

 

[-OZ-]

I don't have a lot of tough days, but I have to deal with a lot of tough people.

I make tough people deal with me.

 

[-OZ-]

Honestly, not often at all. I gave up significant work related stress when I retired from the active duty Army. There were many tough days there. Losing colleagues, sanctioning air strikes, investigating amputations, prosecuting soldiers, advising commanders that their ideas are either illegal or short sighted, that was often tough.

Now, as an Army civilian, we still advise senior leaders in ways they might not like but that’s never been tough here. It helps a LOT that we all have the support of our bosses.

Family hasn’t been “tough” since our daughter almost died 5 years ago. That’s TOUGH.

Our life is almost easy now.

 

[Gatorman]

I've tried to make my days as stress free as possible now. Usually the "stressors" that come into play are things that crop up like loss of internet or some glitch in my office where I am not just the Optometrist, but the owner, IT guy, HR, etc. I've delegated as much as I can, and have hired enough docs to make my "patient days" a breeze.

I do still have children, even though they are now adults, but they never stop being "stressors"

 

[Zow]

Maybe it's part of the whole "mental health is a priority" wave? There's been a significant effort to de-stigmatize therapy, seeking help, admitting you are struggling, etc. And while there's obviously a lot of good in that, I think there's some instances where maybe the pendulum has swung too far.

This was a while back, maybe 10 years ago, when I was at the firm. We had a young attorney scheduled on one of our cases. We were working long days getting ready for a big trial. A couple of days in the two weeks leading up to our trial date, he just didn’t show up to work. When we inquired as to his whereabouts, he advised that he needed a mental health day. I respect that he was attending to and prioritizing his mental health, but that is just an unworkable situation in a law practice when you’re getting ready for trial (or handling some huge transaction with a deadline). He ultimately moved on to a much less demanding career position and seems to be doing very well.

Zero chance that would fly at my firm as well.

That said, in the last few years my firm has made a big push to ensure attorneys are taking time off with the hopes that burnout and turnover rates reduce. I think this is a good thing and it's even been good for some of the guys who churn out 2400+ hrs per year. But, of course, baked in to that is that those dates are planned out months in advance so that it doesn't impact a trial or a significant deadline.

 

[Thorn]

Maybe it's part of the whole "mental health is a priority" wave? There's been a significant effort to de-stigmatize therapy, seeking help, admitting you are struggling, etc. And while there's obviously a lot of good in that, I think there's some instances where maybe the pendulum has swung too far.

This was a while back, maybe 10 years ago, when I was at the firm. We had a young attorney scheduled on one of our cases. We were working long days getting ready for a big trial. A couple of days in the two weeks leading up to our trial date, he just didn’t show up to work. When we inquired as to his whereabouts, he advised that he needed a mental health day. I respect that he was attending to and prioritizing his mental health, but that is just an unworkable situation in a law practice when you’re getting ready for trial (or handling some huge transaction with a deadline). He ultimately moved on to a much less demanding career position and seems to be doing very well.

When I was first coming into the professional workforce (even prior to being a lawyer), the idea of an unplanned day off just did not exist. Short of being in the hospital or close to it, or death in the family, you just didn't miss without notice.

Now I think the message is so much more self-focused, for better or worse. "You need to take care of yourself first." "No one else is going to make your mental health a priority, so you need to."

Seems to me that that sentiment makes sense when you're saying "hey, work is not my life, I'm not working ungodly hours, missing important family events, or even fun events outside work hours that I want to be at." But when it bleeds over to, "I am dreading work today, I'd rather just stay home, so I'm not going," not so much.

 

[Bossman]

During the fantasy football season I'm usually having 2-3 tough days a week. ... off season, almost 0 tough days.

 

[Chadstroma]

I voted 13-20. I figured about 3 times per week + throw in an extra day for maybe grading or something on a Sunday. I'm an experienced HS teacher. I've talked about the increasing difficulties with this job, on the board before. I've never been a guy that was overly concerned about pay. In another post, I mentioned that I may be moving back home to the PNW. While looking for jobs, I found teaching positions open at a local high school for $46k a year. A job as a -dishwasher- at a resort, in the same town, was offering a salary scale, that ended at $49,500.

When I originally looked at this poll, No joke, I thought it was going to be "how many hours in the day?" are "tough" and then I realized that it was "days per month" and it kinda hit me hard.

This happened today:

I ask students who are tardy to remain outside while I get the rest of the class settled and started. This usually takes 60-120 seconds of time, before I open the door for the tardy kids. It is more of a "get here on time" message than anything else. I never yell or scream or raise my voice about it, or about anything that goes on in the classroom.

Today, a student that was not tardy, went to put his backpack to the side of the room (which is another expectation of mine, and a previously held, school-wide rule). As he did so, he put his hand on the door knob to open it for the late students. I told him, "Hey, don't let those guys in yet." He looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Oh, no, I'm letting them in." I stood up, and told the 3 tardy kids to remain outside. They all did, and didn't say a word about it.

We were taking a test today. The kid who straight up disobeyed me, finished his 30 question test on Modern Foreign Policy in under 5 minutes, and scored a 90%. His friend, who sits behind him, took 2 seconds longer, and got an 86%. I sent a private message to the student who got the 90% and had openly disobeyed my earlier request, that I would not be accepting his score, but that we could discuss him doing a re-take exam at another time.

After receiving this message, the student then stood up (in what was a silent, testing environment), and attempted to start what I guess I would call a "mutiny" against me, because I have standards and ask kids to follow, very simple, reasonable rules. I did not yell, I did not scream. I literally just let the kid go off, I said "I'm sorry you're so upset" several times, until he eventually sat down, as no other students seemed willing to join his "cause" against me.

After class, he came up to me and said "I apologize for that little act of defiance, earlier." I said, "yeah, you were really upset." He then began to berate me a second time as the bell rang. He told me that "I have to uphold a standard, and that I 'damn well know' that those kids should be let into the classroom." I told him calmly that I was not going to allow him to simply stand at my desk and yell at me, and that he needed to leave. He did.

I went to look up his information to call his parent about the incident and the last note in his file was from another teacher I know. The note said that she called home, the Mom answered, the teacher explained the issue to the Mother, the Mom said, "shut up" and hung up the phone. I chose not to call.

I'm a chill, laid back dude. I've been teaching at a public high school, in a working class neighborhood for 13 years. It is absolutely insane in classrooms right now. Check out Teacher Subreddits for more stories. Believe the posts you read. It's crazy.

I've been applying to jobs in other industries this Spring. I do not want to be back in the Fall. It sucks.

I can't imagine teaching now.

I gave more than a few teachers a hard time but I wouldn't ever dream of the crap that teachers have to deal with now. When we were growing up there was a certain amount of fear of teachers and administration. It was only into adulthood that "this will go into your permanent record" was nothing more than psychological warfare from teachers and admin. As a little kid who got sent to the principles office because you got in a fight with someone who made fun of your speech impediment it felt like you would never get into a college or get a good job.... all they had to do was look at your permanent record and you were done.

But in reality, the fear was always about home. You touched on it in the note that said the Mom said "shut up" and hung up. You didn't want to get in trouble at home. The worst thing that school could ever do was call my Mom. If you have a kid in a house where the parent(s) either don't care or endorse the behavior or think their kid is perfect and the problem is the school.... what can you do? Nothing. The kids know it. You have no real power. You can't put a hand on them or they can ruin your career and life.

When my oldest was ready for us to pick a school (either public or private) I was very much against the private. Why am I spending money when we live in a good school district? Plus, when I was a kid all the really screwed up kids were at private schools. It was the school my wife and all her siblings went to... plus, my nephew and niece were going there which my niece is the same grade as my daughter. My wife really wanted it so I relented.

My goodness, I firmly believe it was one of the best decisions we could ever have made. Beyond the community I have seen and experienced.... the way the entire school rallied around our family when my wife was battling cancer and how I have watched my daughter and son and now beginning my youngest son have the entire class of friends. There are no clicks, there are no outcasts, there are no bullys.... it is great to see and I am very happy for my kids. But this was driven home last July 4th. We went to our friends house as we do every year. This family and ours became friends when our daughters went to daycare/pre-school together and we all became friends. Their daughter invited a friend over. The three of them were hanging out the whole time. The first thing I noticed was when her friend came over she didn't look like a 12 year old 4th going into 5th grader. She looked older. Ok, fine, kids mature at different rates but then after we got home my daughter told me that the other two girls were talking all about who liked who and who was dating who... girl gossip stuff. I am sure they noticed that they were leaving my daughter out so they asked her who was dating who at her school.... her reply was "we don't really do that in private school." Ohhhhhh boy, you don't understand how good that made me feel. But then, I also found out some of the struggles our friends daughter had been going through. All this social media bullying of girls being catty to each other.... the pressures of 'dating' boys.... and even when she broke up with a boy that he told her that she should kill herself. On and on.... this is in a good school district in a good safe area with solidly middle class and up, and a good hefty dose of the 'up'. I know private school by itself isn't the answer but our particular school has been nothing but great for our kids. I know part of it is that every family that send their kids there care... they are involved and expect their kids to be respectful and kind beyond learning. At the public schools, the parents may not care or may be more screwed up than the kids and that carries over.

I can't imagine what you go through on a daily basis.

 

[Chadstroma]

I voted before I read your description @Joe Bryant

I have hard days but very very rarely have days that I need “help” to get over.

I deal with the masses on a daily basis. It makes me not care for the masses much. If I don’t want to attend an event that isn’t important to my kid wife or immediate family, it’s not personal.

recently most of my worry is health related. Getting older is the suck

I feel this. I feel it hard and deep.

In fact, I work up this morning. The arch of my foot is in massive pain. Like I did something to it..... but I didn't. WHAT THE HELL?!

 

[nirad3]

I voted before I read your description @Joe Bryant

I have hard days but very very rarely have days that I need “help” to get over.

Yeah, same here. I'm probably in the 2-3 or maybe 4-7 category. Damn reading comprehension issues.

 

[Chadstroma]

I voted before I read your description @Joe Bryant

I have hard days but very very rarely have days that I need “help” to get over.

Yeah, same here. I'm probably in the 2-3 or maybe 4-7 category. Damn reading comprehension issues.

Yea, by Joe's definition.... very rarely.

I have found that I have turned into the old man 'avoid crowds if possible' guy. I am just waiting for the 'get off my lawn' feelings to kick in.

For the most part my 'rough days' are me saying 'gawd damn' shaking it off and moving forward and maybe venting to someone.

 

[nirad3]

I voted before I read your description @Joe Bryant

I have hard days but very very rarely have days that I need “help” to get over.

Yeah, same here. I'm probably in the 2-3 or maybe 4-7 category. Damn reading comprehension issues.

Yea, by Joe's definition.... very rarely.

I have found that I have turned into the old man 'avoid crowds if possible' guy. I am just waiting for the 'get off my lawn' feelings to kick in.

For the most part my 'rough days' are me saying 'gawd damn' shaking it off and moving forward and maybe venting to someone.

I feel this. There are days where my kid's school dropoff is annoying due to all the idiots doing whatever they damn well please as they drop their kids off, leading into a challenging day at work, topped off with general anxiety about finances, eventual divorce and capped off with a bad night's sleep. Those are the days I'd classify as being "tough".

 

[Zow]

Maybe it's part of the whole "mental health is a priority" wave? There's been a significant effort to de-stigmatize therapy, seeking help, admitting you are struggling, etc. And while there's obviously a lot of good in that, I think there's some instances where maybe the pendulum has swung too far.

This was a while back, maybe 10 years ago, when I was at the firm. We had a young attorney scheduled on one of our cases. We were working long days getting ready for a big trial. A couple of days in the two weeks leading up to our trial date, he just didn’t show up to work. When we inquired as to his whereabouts, he advised that he needed a mental health day. I respect that he was attending to and prioritizing his mental health, but that is just an unworkable situation in a law practice when you’re getting ready for trial (or handling some huge transaction with a deadline). He ultimately moved on to a much less demanding career position and seems to be doing very well.

When I was first coming into the professional workforce (even prior to being a lawyer), the idea of an unplanned day off just did not exist. Short of being in the hospital or close to it, or death in the family, you just didn't miss without notice.

Now I think the message is so much more self-focused, for better or worse. "You need to take care of yourself first." "No one else is going to make your mental health a priority, so you need to."

Seems to me that that sentiment makes sense when you're saying "hey, work is not my life, I'm not working ungodly hours, missing important family events, or even fun events outside work hours that I want to be at." But when it bleeds over to, "I am dreading work today, I'd rather just stay home, so I'm not going," not so much.

Since I've gotten more into a mentoring/managerial role, I've been heavily advocating that associate attorneys as well as partners feel a bit freer to leave the office early, take an afternoon off or whatever if they find themselves in a position that they can and that we gauge "productivity" by lack of client complaints combined with revenue generated. I also advocate for more work from home on nights and weekends.

 

[Drunken knight]

work related: for the past 1-2 yrs more days than not i have dealt with "emergent" issues for a particularly challenging client. I am truly exhausted and fairly burnt out from them. This definitely impacted family and social dynamics. even a couple of weeks ago.. briefly thought about doing a day trip to lake tahoe with a friend to get in a final day of skiing. after a nasty week, i just did not have the energy to do so. I had been asking to transfer the account for about 5 months and it is finally occurring. So, life is settling back in.

a little more than a year ago my father had a stroke and things were looking dim. repaired a valve and he is doing great. but for about 6 months it was rather trying

don't take MH days.

i will back out of certain dinners, but would never consider having people cancel an event if i chose not to attend.

 

[Chadstroma]

I voted before I read your description @Joe Bryant

I have hard days but very very rarely have days that I need “help” to get over.

Yeah, same here. I'm probably in the 2-3 or maybe 4-7 category. Damn reading comprehension issues.

Yea, by Joe's definition.... very rarely.

I have found that I have turned into the old man 'avoid crowds if possible' guy. I am just waiting for the 'get off my lawn' feelings to kick in.

For the most part my 'rough days' are me saying 'gawd damn' shaking it off and moving forward and maybe venting to someone.

I feel this. There are days where my kid's school dropoff is annoying due to all the idiots doing whatever they damn well please as they drop their kids off, leading into a challenging day at work, topped off with general anxiety about finances, eventual divorce and capped off with a bad night's sleep. Those are the days I'd classify as being "tough".

I feel common decency, general respect of others and empathy is something that is severly lacking in our society today. A couple of weeks ago my daughter and I were at Costco and grabbed some lunch. Both of us were done eating but she had her drink and sundae. It was busy and clearly people were waiting for tables to open up. I told her, ok, grab your stuff let's go. She pushed back a bit and I told her something along the lines "We are not those people who do whatever they want and don't consider others around them." we got up and then a disabled guy that was nearby that I actually didnt realize was waiting for a table asked if we were done. I told him yes, enjoy your lunch. And we left. I saw my daughter kind of nod her head like she understood what I was saying now. I try to impart that with my kids... from something like that to putting your cart back to my boys opening and holding doors for people.

 

[falguy]

Kind of surprised at the, nearly half, who rarely have a "tough day". I've never loved working but the last 5 years are just try to survive until 5pm. They aren't all "tough" but at least half of them are. It's either an OK day or a ****ty day. I'm 59 with no other skills. I'm paid well. I am not going anywhere else so I am just trying to get a few more years in but, yeah, I have way more than 1 or 2 tough days a month. Definitely didn't expect to see so many who almost never have a tough day. Good for you. And I mean that seriously. I must be doing something wrong.

 

[bigbottom]

Kind of surprised at the, nearly half, who rarely have a "tough day". I've never loved working but the last 5 years are just try to survive until 5pm. They aren't all "tough" but at least half of them are. It's either an OK day or a ****ty day. I'm 59 with no other skills. I'm paid well. I am not going anywhere else so I am just trying to get a few more years in but, yeah, I have way more than 1 or 2 tough days a month. Definitely didn't expect to see so many who almost never have a tough day. Good for you. And I mean that seriously. I must be doing something wrong.

Hey don’t let anyone tell you you’re not having a tough day if you feel you are. But to respond to your surprise over the responses, for me at least, it’s all about perspective.

 

[Chadstroma]

Kind of surprised at the, nearly half, who rarely have a "tough day". I've never loved working but the last 5 years are just try to survive until 5pm. They aren't all "tough" but at least half of them are. It's either an OK day or a ****ty day. I'm 59 with no other skills. I'm paid well. I am not going anywhere else so I am just trying to get a few more years in but, yeah, I have way more than 1 or 2 tough days a month. Definitely didn't expect to see so many who almost never have a tough day. Good for you. And I mean that seriously. I must be doing something wrong.

Hey don’t let anyone tell you you’re not having a tough day if you feel you are. But to respond to your surprise over the responses, for me at least, it’s all about perspective.

Yea, this is not to discount how someone feels... as I tell my 8 year old who is now in therapy and OT for essentially needing help to regulate his emotions... you are going to feel how you feel. You don't have control over how you feel. And feelings are a powerful thing. However, what you do control and what makes a difference is how you react to those feelings. How you cope with the negative emotions. What you do to better your situation when possible.

Him and my other son (the one mentioned earlier in the thread) definitely get those struggles from me. It is not something that ever goes away but taking the power back from your emotions is a powerful way to be able to actually 'put a lid' on them... meaning they don't get out of control and in time, all emotions fade away, come and go, etc.

 

[falguy]

Kind of surprised at the, nearly half, who rarely have a "tough day". I've never loved working but the last 5 years are just try to survive until 5pm. They aren't all "tough" but at least half of them are. It's either an OK day or a ****ty day. I'm 59 with no other skills. I'm paid well. I am not going anywhere else so I am just trying to get a few more years in but, yeah, I have way more than 1 or 2 tough days a month. Definitely didn't expect to see so many who almost never have a tough day. Good for you. And I mean that seriously. I must be doing something wrong.

Hey don’t let anyone tell you you’re not having a tough day if you feel you are. But to respond to your surprise over the responses, for me at least, it’s all about perspective.

Yea, this is not to discount how someone feels... as I tell my 8 year old who is now in therapy and OT for essentially needing help to regulate his emotions... you are going to feel how you feel. You don't have control over how you feel. And feelings are a powerful thing. However, what you do control and what makes a difference is how you react to those feelings. How you cope with the negative emotions. What you do to better your situation when possible.

Him and my other son (the one mentioned earlier in the thread) definitely get those struggles from me. It is not something that ever goes away but taking the power back from your emotions is a powerful way to be able to actually 'put a lid' on them... meaning they don't get out of control and in time, all emotions fade away, come and go, etc.

thanks. Today's a particularly frustrating day so i came here to vent . My colleague lives in this same work world and he just goes about his business stress free. He's just better tuned to handle the daily stresses of dealing with customers and not-very-useful colleagues.

 

[Judge Smails]

The answer will be largely generational IMO. If you are on social media at all, especially Tik Tok, you'll see that the mental health of younger generations is not good. I really think the pandemic f'd them up. They have so much anxiety and anger. Job market, housing prices, inflation and my God they are all on healing journeys to overcome generational trauma. Meaning healing from how terrible Boomer and Gen X parents were in their opinion. They are going No Contact with families in record #'s and almost isolating themselves. Not a good mental state at all.

 

[Thorn]

The answer will be largely generational IMO. If you are on social media at all, especially Tik Tok, you'll see that the mental health of younger generations is not good. I really think the pandemic f'd them up. They have so much anxiety and anger. Job market, housing prices, inflation and my God they are all on healing journeys to overcome generational trauma. Meaning healing from how terrible Boomer and Gen X parents were in their opinion. They are going No Contact with families in record #'s and almost isolating themselves. Not a good mental state at all.

I read the subreddit called "AITA," short for "am I the *******" where someone lays out a (supposed) real-life scenario and asks if they are the one in the wrong. It's usually an entertaining read about some interpersonal relationship, often involving parents or exes. I bet three quarters of the threads where the OP is judged "not the AH," encourage the OP to "go no contact." Block their number and block them on every messenger you have. It seems so extreme to me.

 

[The General]

Staying home because of it zero.

Tough days with travel, annoyances, work, etc maybe a couple on average. Some months none some more than a few.

 

[MAC_32]

Kind of surprised at the, nearly half, who rarely have a "tough day". I've never loved working but the last 5 years are just try to survive until 5pm. They aren't all "tough" but at least half of them are. It's either an OK day or a ****ty day. I'm 59 with no other skills. I'm paid well. I am not going anywhere else so I am just trying to get a few more years in but, yeah, I have way more than 1 or 2 tough days a month. Definitely didn't expect to see so many who almost never have a tough day. Good for you. And I mean that seriously. I must be doing something wrong.

Most of my days were incredibly tough between summer 21 and summer 23. I took a job that I knew would be stressful in hopes that it would lead to something better. It did, so once things stabilized at the new job the number of 'tough days' drastically reduced. Looking forward to the day I'm physically healthy again, so I can get back to a healthy life again.

 

[PIK95]

People annoy me on the reg, money can get a little stressful with a kid in college, but I am a man of leisure after all. I put ZERO.

Losing the Yoga Pants thread was the last truly tough day I remember. And now today because I am reflecting on what we lost there. R.I.P.

 

[falguy]

Losing the Yoga Pants thread was the last truly tough day I remember. And now today because I am reflecting on what we lost there. R.I.P.

 

[Gally]

when I was at the firm

Don't ever go scuba diving in the Caymans. Bad things will happen. Plus if some hot chick comes on to you out of nowhere on the beach just turn and go the other way. No good will come of it.

 

[Zow]

when I was at the firm

Don't ever go scuba diving in the Caymans. Bad things will happen. Plus if some hot chick comes on to you out of nowhere on the beach just turn and go the other way. No good will come of it.

Due to stress (leading to weight gain) and billables eating up all one's time the bold would never occur.

 

[Zow]

So I volunteered on a Q and A panel last night for prelaw students at a major university. It was basically just a chance for students intending to go to law school to ask lawyers questions about law school, what it's like to be a lawyer, etc. I've been on this panel for at least the last five years. I pretty quickly thought of this thread though because, though it could only be sticking out to me as notable because I was reading this thread earlier in the day yesterday, students asked significantly more questions than I could remember about how we addressed our mental health. Most of us on the panel talked openly about how that was a challenge and that it's important to set maintain some semblance of a work life balance but, based on the looks on some of the faces, the student were clearly disappointed and wanted better answers. Then, the newest lawyer on the panel talked about how she will calendar a one or two hour block during the workday for "mental health" (and gave examples of going for a walk, getting coffee, reading a book, etc.). This answer was, of course, well-received despite us other lawyers on the panel giving her a bit of a side-eye.

Oh, I got publicly crushed by a blonde coed when she asked me specifically if I knew her or some male's name she stated. I told her I didn't and asked why my name was familiar (and somewhat enjoying the direct engagement from a blonde coed) and hoping this could be a fun conversation. But, my spirits were immediately dashed when she said that her dad had a fraternity brother with my same name and thought it might be me. Getting old sucks.

 

[Gally]

when I was at the firm

Don't ever go scuba diving in the Caymans. Bad things will happen. Plus if some hot chick comes on to you out of nowhere on the beach just turn and go the other way. No good will come of it.

Due to stress (leading to weight gain) and billables eating up all one's time the bold would never occur.

It has to be true. I have seen it happen to Mitch McDeere

 

[Chadstroma]

Oh, I got publicly crushed by a blonde coed when she asked me specifically if I knew her or some male's name she stated. I told her I didn't and asked why my name was familiar (and somewhat enjoying the direct engagement from a blonde coed) and my spirits were immediately dashed when she said that her dad had a fraternity brother with my same name. Getting old sucks.

I was at a work event a month or so ago. There was an attractive woman out of the group. I am married and was not looking for anything but some light flirting is fun. Tell some jokes or funny stories and have a pretty girl laughing and smiling always feels good. Well.... until the next day....

One of the younger guys, probably mid or upper 20's, said to me "Victoria thinks that you look like you could be my Dad!" That crushed me. I was like "WTF! I am only 47! How old does she think I am?!"

I didn't flirt with her for the rest of the trip.

 

[Don Quixote]

Most of us on the panel talked openly about how that was a challenge and that it's important to set maintain some semblance of a work life balance but, based on the looks on some of the faces, the student were clearly disappointed and wanted better answers. Then, the newest lawyer on the panel talked about how she will calendar a one or two hour block during the workday for "mental health" (and gave examples of going for a walk, getting coffee, reading a book, etc.). This answer was, of course, well-received despite us other lawyers on the panel giving her a bit of a side-eye.

Blocks during the course of the day are tough for that. I usually want to get stuff done to get day over with. Instead of separate blocks during the day, if I’m on some firm/group update call with 100 or so people on it where I have no expectation of needing to speak or being in front of a computer, I might take it on a walk.

I do block from 7-8pm every night to leave me with some family time, but I’m sure the law students would have more of a “wait, you need to proactively block 7-8pm on your calendar or else people will try to schedule calls with you during that time?” Which, um, yep.

 

[Zow]

Most of us on the panel talked openly about how that was a challenge and that it's important to set maintain some semblance of a work life balance but, based on the looks on some of the faces, the student were clearly disappointed and wanted better answers. Then, the newest lawyer on the panel talked about how she will calendar a one or two hour block during the workday for "mental health" (and gave examples of going for a walk, getting coffee, reading a book, etc.). This answer was, of course, well-received despite us other lawyers on the panel giving her a bit of a side-eye.

Blocks during the course of the day are tough for that. I usually want to get stuff done to get day over with. Instead of separate blocks during the day, if I’m on some firm/group update call with 100 or so people on it where I have no expectation of needing to speak or being in front of a computer, I might take it on a walk.

I do block from 7-8pm every night to leave me with some family time, but I’m sure the law students would have more of a “wait, you need to proactively block 7-8pm on your calendar or else people will try to schedule calls with you during that time?” Which, um, yep.

Yep. I had previously stated that there are many days where I have to actively plan just to see my children when they're awake, and I explained how I try to do everything in my power to have work "turned off" in my brain when I see them. I also explained how I work well motivating myself each day by setting a billable or task goal and then trying to hit that as efficiently as possible. So, with these two goals in mind, I can't just waste away an hour for my mental health. I suppose the closest thing I do is, when the weather is good, do everything in my power to finish up work by lunch time on Friday so I can enjoy a golf round either solo or in a gambling group to provide myself a nice personal break between a week of screaming clients and a weekend of screaming kids.

I do have some very productive colleagues that go for runs midday to break up the day when their court schedules allow so I have seen something different work for other people.

 

[the moops]

I also advocate for more work from home on nights and weekends

Lawyers

You need to leave early today? No problem, we are understanding. Now just make sure to work late tomorrow night from home and cancel that baseball game on Sunday!

 

[Zow]

I also advocate for more work from home on nights and weekends

Lawyers

You need to leave early today? No problem, we are understanding. Now just make sure to work late tomorrow night from home and cancel that baseball game on Sunday!

No, that's not what I'm saying.

I'm saying that we should stop caring so much about "butts in chairs" during regular business hours.

 

[Alex P Keaton]

Oh, I got publicly crushed by a blonde coed when she asked me specifically if I knew her or some male's name she stated. I told her I didn't and asked why my name was familiar (and somewhat enjoying the direct engagement from a blonde coed) and my spirits were immediately dashed when she said that her dad had a fraternity brother with my same name. Getting old sucks.

I was at a work event a month or so ago. There was an attractive woman out of the group. I am married and was not looking for anything but some light flirting is fun. Tell some jokes or funny stories and have a pretty girl laughing and smiling always feels good. Well.... until the next day....

One of the younger guys, probably mid or upper 20's, said to me "Victoria thinks that you look like you could be my Dad!" That crushed me. I was like "WTF! I am only 47! How old does she think I am?!"

I didn't flirt with her for the rest of the trip.

What ever happened to the single mom who was telling you that her BF wasn’t macho enough because of the beverage he drinks? Weren’t you going to introduce me to her here in suburban Chicago?

 

[Jayded]

I have tough days. Never so tough I would need someone else to use my tough day as their excuse. That’s…weird.

I consider myself a pretty warm person, but I don’t want anyone that up in my business or especially extending it to others as a reason.

 

[Chadstroma]

Oh, I got publicly crushed by a blonde coed when she asked me specifically if I knew her or some male's name she stated. I told her I didn't and asked why my name was familiar (and somewhat enjoying the direct engagement from a blonde coed) and my spirits were immediately dashed when she said that her dad had a fraternity brother with my same name. Getting old sucks.

I was at a work event a month or so ago. There was an attractive woman out of the group. I am married and was not looking for anything but some light flirting is fun. Tell some jokes or funny stories and have a pretty girl laughing and smiling always feels good. Well.... until the next day....

One of the younger guys, probably mid or upper 20's, said to me "Victoria thinks that you look like you could be my Dad!" That crushed me. I was like "WTF! I am only 47! How old does she think I am?!"

I didn't flirt with her for the rest of the trip.

What ever happened to the single mom who was telling you that her BF wasn’t macho enough because of the beverage he drinks? Weren’t you going to introduce me to her here in suburban Chicago?

So... apparently she got over it because the last couple of times I saw her she was with him.

He was stand offish when she introduced him to me... I was thinking bro, you have no idea how hard I went to bat for you helping you. You should be high fiving me.

 

[Alex P Keaton]

Oh, I got publicly crushed by a blonde coed when she asked me specifically if I knew her or some male's name she stated. I told her I didn't and asked why my name was familiar (and somewhat enjoying the direct engagement from a blonde coed) and my spirits were immediately dashed when she said that her dad had a fraternity brother with my same name. Getting old sucks.

I was at a work event a month or so ago. There was an attractive woman out of the group. I am married and was not looking for anything but some light flirting is fun. Tell some jokes or funny stories and have a pretty girl laughing and smiling always feels good. Well.... until the next day....

One of the younger guys, probably mid or upper 20's, said to me "Victoria thinks that you look like you could be my Dad!" That crushed me. I was like "WTF! I am only 47! How old does she think I am?!"

I didn't flirt with her for the rest of the trip.

What ever happened to the single mom who was telling you that her BF wasn’t macho enough because of the beverage he drinks? Weren’t you going to introduce me to her here in suburban Chicago?

So... apparently she got over it because the last couple of times I saw her she was with him.

He was stand offish when she introduced him to me... I was thinking bro, you have no idea how hard I went to bat for you helping you. You should be high fiving me.

Now THAT guy must have a lot of tough days

 

[The Z Machine]

Having one today and had one yesterday. High levels of stress over here these days.

 

[Joe Bryant]

Having one today and had one yesterday. High levels of stress over here these days.

Hang in there GB

 

[The Z Machine]

Thanks, guys. I may vent in here later, but now's not the time.