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Fictitious Upcoming M. Night Shyamalan Movies (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter McJose
- Start date
McJose
Footballguy
videoguy505
Footballguy
"Genie in the Bottle"
A man discovers a gold lamp buried in the Arabian desert. He rubs it. Nothing happens! For the rest of the movie, his wife calls him an idiot.
A man discovers a gold lamp buried in the Arabian desert. He rubs it. Nothing happens! For the rest of the movie, his wife calls him an idiot.
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Tacos al Carboner
Footballguy
The Package
A man receives a mysterious package in the mail. In a surprise twist, the package is the new checks he ordered from his bank. The man is also gay.
A man receives a mysterious package in the mail. In a surprise twist, the package is the new checks he ordered from his bank. The man is also gay.
McJose
Footballguy
mon
(T)ool
The Lottery
Guy is new to town. Buys a lottery ticket from a local. Wins the lottery. Oh wait, lottery winner gets stoned to death.
Movie is in post production before M. Night finds out it's been done before, so he changes the ending where the lottery winner gets sacrificed to aliens so they won't destroy the town.
Guy is new to town. Buys a lottery ticket from a local. Wins the lottery. Oh wait, lottery winner gets stoned to death.
Movie is in post production before M. Night finds out it's been done before, so he changes the ending where the lottery winner gets sacrificed to aliens so they won't destroy the town.
mon
(T)ool
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Andy Dufresne
Footballguy
Signs 2
The aliens return. This time the wives did the packing, so they all have waterproof suits.
The aliens return. This time the wives did the packing, so they all have waterproof suits.
McJose
Footballguy
"Duplex"
3 young girls in their 20s move into an apartment together. But things are as they seem. One of the girls eats a lot of groceries without paying her fair share.
The 45 year old guy that lives next door fantasizes about the girls when he pleasures himself. Except for the fat one who eats all the groceries.
3 young girls in their 20s move into an apartment together. But things are as they seem. One of the girls eats a lot of groceries without paying her fair share.
The 45 year old guy that lives next door fantasizes about the girls when he pleasures himself. Except for the fat one who eats all the groceries.
Billy Costigan Jr
Footballguy
"The i-Notebook"
A poster on a popular message board stalks its members, leaving mysterious crumpled up notes toying with his prey before killing them, eating their flesh, and wearing their skin like masks.
Turns out it was the site's founder all along.
*** SPOILER ALERT! Click this link to display the potential spoiler text in this box. ***");document.close();
A poster on a popular message board stalks its members, leaving mysterious crumpled up notes toying with his prey before killing them, eating their flesh, and wearing their skin like masks.
Turns out it was the site's founder all along.
*** SPOILER ALERT! Click this link to display the potential spoiler text in this box. ***");document.close();
to the last two.
videoguy505
Footballguy
"The Man With TWO Red Shoes"
In the dramatic sequel to the old comedy film, a CIA spyhunter must find the Russian secret mole within his organization. All he has to go on is the clue that the man will be wearing two red shoes. Did I mention that the CIA spyhunter is colorblind? No, I didn't, because he isn't. He actually finds the guy right away in the lobby and arrests him.
In the dramatic sequel to the old comedy film, a CIA spyhunter must find the Russian secret mole within his organization. All he has to go on is the clue that the man will be wearing two red shoes. Did I mention that the CIA spyhunter is colorblind? No, I didn't, because he isn't. He actually finds the guy right away in the lobby and arrests him.
Fennis
Footballguy
"The Director"
A promising young upstart writes and directs a film with a surprise ending that takes on the film world by storm. After that release, each film he puts out gets progressively worse. By the fourth film they are literally unwatchable.
Yet somehow, some way, the films never stop coming out.
A promising young upstart writes and directs a film with a surprise ending that takes on the film world by storm. After that release, each film he puts out gets progressively worse. By the fourth film they are literally unwatchable.
Yet somehow, some way, the films never stop coming out.
Uwe Blab
Footballguy
The Weasel
Just in time for Halloween: For two hours and 50 minutes you see life through the eyes of a man who obviously has Down Syndrome. He takes the bus to his menial job everyday , following the same meticulous routine. You see his lowest of the lows as people publicly mock and ridicule him and the highest of the highs when despite finishing fourth in his Special Olympics 100 meter race, he teaches everyone a valuable lesson on true joy.
While gazing into a bathroom mirror our generation's top director reveals the shocking truth. Our hero was Pauly Shore.
Just in time for Halloween: For two hours and 50 minutes you see life through the eyes of a man who obviously has Down Syndrome. He takes the bus to his menial job everyday , following the same meticulous routine. You see his lowest of the lows as people publicly mock and ridicule him and the highest of the highs when despite finishing fourth in his Special Olympics 100 meter race, he teaches everyone a valuable lesson on true joy.
While gazing into a bathroom mirror our generation's top director reveals the shocking truth. Our hero was Pauly Shore.
Tacos al Carboner
Footballguy
Steps
Artemis O'Mally, an unemployed lifetime invalid, slowly gains the ability to walk. Those close to him wonder: is he simply determined or are there supernatural elements in play? In a bizarre twist, Artemis is an infant.
Artemis O'Mally, an unemployed lifetime invalid, slowly gains the ability to walk. Those close to him wonder: is he simply determined or are there supernatural elements in play? In a bizarre twist, Artemis is an infant.
Andy Dufresne
Footballguy
Is this about M. Night or George Lucas?
Bob Lee Swagger
Footballguy
Tacos al Carboner
Footballguy
The Stranger
A man wakes up one morning to find that he is a stranger to everyone he is close to. It's as if his existence has been erased from history. In a mind-blowing twist, he grew a mustache and no one recognized him.
A man wakes up one morning to find that he is a stranger to everyone he is close to. It's as if his existence has been erased from history. In a mind-blowing twist, he grew a mustache and no one recognized him.
jplvr
Footballguy
Perfect.
McJose
Footballguy
Tacos al Carboner
Footballguy
The Butcher
A simple butcher feels his enthusiasm for his profession waning. In an insanity-inducing twist, he sells his butcher shop and becomes a teacher.
A simple butcher feels his enthusiasm for his profession waning. In an insanity-inducing twist, he sells his butcher shop and becomes a teacher.
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
Brutal Assault: A man is continually and brutally assaulted over and over again while crowds cheer and encourage it. He has no idea where he is or why a large group of men keep smashing him into the ground. Filmed in Philadelphia
Twist: His name is Stewart Bradley and he is suffering from a concussion but sent back into the football game.
Twist: His name is Stewart Bradley and he is suffering from a concussion but sent back into the football game.
Billy Costigan Jr
Footballguy
The first two minutes is a barrage of Wayne Gretzky highlights.The final six is a montage of Pamela Anderson running in slow motion from Baywatch.MisfitBlondes said:
Andy Dufresne
Footballguy
The Hostage
A mn with multiple personalities threatens suicide after his cat continually brings him notes that he previously scribbled down while surfing IMDB.com.
A mn with multiple personalities threatens suicide after his cat continually brings him notes that he previously scribbled down while surfing IMDB.com.
McJose
Footballguy
I CAN SPELL DUFRESNE!
Bob Lee Swagger
Footballguy
Sure you can, but can Officer Pete Malloy?
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
The Watcher
A man sits on his porch, watching his grass grow all day. Just staring and staring.
Twist: It's crabgrass
A man sits on his porch, watching his grass grow all day. Just staring and staring.
Twist: It's crabgrass
McJose
Footballguy
"Glen Gary, Glen In the Water"
5 salesmen become stranded in an abandoned WWI submarine. They really don't do much but talk. Every third word is the F-bomb. Turns out one of them set the whole thing up in order to get his divorced parents back together.
Shyamalan and David Mamet's first collaboration.
5 salesmen become stranded in an abandoned WWI submarine. They really don't do much but talk. Every third word is the F-bomb. Turns out one of them set the whole thing up in order to get his divorced parents back together.
Shyamalan and David Mamet's first collaboration.
Andy Dufresne
Footballguy
I'm betting it stars Joe Pesci.
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Tacos al Carboner
Footballguy
Eyesight
A New Jersey ophthalmologist slowly begins to lose his sight, disabling him from doing his job and sending him into a downward spiral of madness. In an ironic twist, he has macular degeneration.
A New Jersey ophthalmologist slowly begins to lose his sight, disabling him from doing his job and sending him into a downward spiral of madness. In an ironic twist, he has macular degeneration.
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
The Stare
An older man sits in his chair in front of the tv, just staring. He's been doing it for years and years. Eyes unblinking. No emotion on his face. His two daughters go about their life around him, seemingly oblivious to his plight. Nobody visits him. The glow of the tv has caused his flesh to turn yellow.
The man died 15 years ago and his daughters never reported it so that they could collect his social security.
An older man sits in his chair in front of the tv, just staring. He's been doing it for years and years. Eyes unblinking. No emotion on his face. His two daughters go about their life around him, seemingly oblivious to his plight. Nobody visits him. The glow of the tv has caused his flesh to turn yellow.
The man died 15 years ago and his daughters never reported it so that they could collect his social security.
McJose
Footballguy
Joe Pesci, Joe Mantegna, Curly Joe DeRita, Rebecca Pigeon, and Shia LaBeouf
Andy Dufresne
Footballguy
The Stranger
A man has the relationship of his dreams, until his chiropractor fixes his pinched nerve.
A man has the relationship of his dreams, until his chiropractor fixes his pinched nerve.
Moobin Steadily
Footballguy
"The Board"
In an effort to maintain profits from an ever increasing influx of new members, the boards owner bans the boards most compelling members. Before long, there are only three members left. Starring MoP, LHUCKS, & a cameo appearance with timschochet.
In an effort to maintain profits from an ever increasing influx of new members, the boards owner bans the boards most compelling members. Before long, there are only three members left. Starring MoP, LHUCKS, & a cameo appearance with timschochet.
Leeroy Jenkins
Footballguy
Or some guy that looks like Joe Pesci but is actually just some short bald guy at the Kentucky Derby who, in a bizarre twist, actually looks nothing like Joe Pesci.
CBusAlex
Footballguy
"Mind Games"
An American spy undercover in Cold War era Moscow is tasked with uncovering a Soviet plot to infiltrate the CIA. The mission turns deadly when he discovers that his CIA handler - and the only man who knows his status as a member of the agency - is the double agent he has been sent to find. In a surprise twist, the film is not directed by Shyamalan and is actually quite good.
An American spy undercover in Cold War era Moscow is tasked with uncovering a Soviet plot to infiltrate the CIA. The mission turns deadly when he discovers that his CIA handler - and the only man who knows his status as a member of the agency - is the double agent he has been sent to find. In a surprise twist, the film is not directed by Shyamalan and is actually quite good.
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mon
(T)ool
EAT PRAY LOVE
Aliens visit humans and appear to be peaceful. They give the humans a book and the humans translate the title to "Eat Pray Love". Many humans decide to climb aboard the alien spaceship for a trip back to their planet. Just as the spaceship takes off, it's discovered what the book is actually about: the aliens LOVE humans, PRAY to give thanks for their food, then EAT them.
Aliens visit humans and appear to be peaceful. They give the humans a book and the humans translate the title to "Eat Pray Love". Many humans decide to climb aboard the alien spaceship for a trip back to their planet. Just as the spaceship takes off, it's discovered what the book is actually about: the aliens LOVE humans, PRAY to give thanks for their food, then EAT them.
McJose
Footballguy
The Silence
A group of actors wander the streets of Hollywood day after day. Although they are recognized nobody seems to know their names.
Starring: The tall blond lesbian from "40 Year Old Virgin", the Hispanic nurse from "Scrubs", the tall geek from "Super Troopers", the principal from "American History X", the kid from "2 1/2 Men", the president from "Clear and Present Danger", the gaysian guy from "Law and Order", the warden from "Shawshank", and that Mexican dude from "Boogie Nights".
A group of actors wander the streets of Hollywood day after day. Although they are recognized nobody seems to know their names.
Starring: The tall blond lesbian from "40 Year Old Virgin", the Hispanic nurse from "Scrubs", the tall geek from "Super Troopers", the principal from "American History X", the kid from "2 1/2 Men", the president from "Clear and Present Danger", the gaysian guy from "Law and Order", the warden from "Shawshank", and that Mexican dude from "Boogie Nights".
McJose
Footballguy
koby925
Footballguy
The Ranger
A park ranger goes on an inexplicable murder spree killing dozens of copulating couples over a one year period. The ranger remembers nothing about the killings as he commits them in a black out induced state, waking up hours later wearing only a yellow hat while laying in a pool of his own semen in a porta potty. After his capture, his psychiatrist desperately tries to get to the bottom of his behavior only to discover that the ranger was his ill conceived love child from a 2009 camping trip.
A park ranger goes on an inexplicable murder spree killing dozens of copulating couples over a one year period. The ranger remembers nothing about the killings as he commits them in a black out induced state, waking up hours later wearing only a yellow hat while laying in a pool of his own semen in a porta potty. After his capture, his psychiatrist desperately tries to get to the bottom of his behavior only to discover that the ranger was his ill conceived love child from a 2009 camping trip.
Lots of good stuff here, but this one is winning.
Nightly Mistake
Footballguy
THE STAFFER
A man tries desperately to find happiness. He quits his job. He moves across the country. He takes a job stocking shelves. Then starts writing articles and acting like he runs the place. He starts to replace the man in charge and he has threads deleted.
Turns out, he's a single white female.
A man tries desperately to find happiness. He quits his job. He moves across the country. He takes a job stocking shelves. Then starts writing articles and acting like he runs the place. He starts to replace the man in charge and he has threads deleted.
Turns out, he's a single white female.
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