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Jupiter Ascending (2-6-15) (1 Viewer)

Bob Magaw

Footballguy
Didn't see a thread on this already. Just found out it was by the Wachowski's (Nick Mason noted in a recent Endless River interview that Pink Floyd was at one time in discussions to score the movie). It is reportedly the director siblings first original screenplay in the sci fi genre since the Matrix trilogy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jupiter_Ascending

 
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Could be awesome or a total failure. My heart wants awesome, but with all the production delays, my head thinks not. Hoping for the best.

 
Looks entertaining.

I'm in the minority that enjoyed Cloud Atlas.
Yes, yes you are. Wanted to like it as I'm a big fan of The Matrix and V for Vendetta, but Cloud Atlas was a mess. They did a very poor job of making me care what happens to the character. It seemed like they had a grand vision but failed to make a good movie (ala Matrix sequels).

 
I'm not exactly expecting an enduring classic like Rashomon, La Dolce Vita or Tokyo Story.

 
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Another movie that sounds promising, Steven Seagal has been cast as the lead in the Robert Oppenheimer story, the architect of the Manhattan Project.

 
So, according to the preview I saw, Mila's character is the heiress to the whole planet or something but is unaware and has grown up as a "normal" human? And then the big fight is about protecting her?

I normally am all in for this genre, but even my thirteen-year old son saw it and said, "what does it matter who the princess is if you control all the spaceships?

This looks like a glorious mess that I will DVR during an HBO/Starz free-preview weekend on DISH and watch on a rainy Saturday afternoon.

 
It's gotta be better than the sci fi abomination, Battlefield Earth. That is my heinous benchmark.

Battlefield Earth has a 3% rank (with the operative word being rank) at Rotten Tomato, one of the lowest I can ever recall seeing, in any genre. Water world is a comparatively whopping 42% rating, making it look like Citizen Kane next to a second rate Troma Team production in comparison.

 
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Bob Magaw said:
It's gotta be better than the sci fi abomination, Battlefield Earth. That is my heinous benchmark.

Battlefield Earth has a 3% rank (with the operative word being rank) at Rotten Tomato, one of the lowest I can ever recall seeing, in any genre. Water world is a comparatively whopping 42% rating, making it look like Citizen Kane next to a second rate Troma Team production in comparison.
Funny the commercials for this remind me of that movie.

 
Battlefield Earth Official Trailer (2000 vintage)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0R_FR9pD2k

Invoking comparisons with this uber-clunker, involves treading on hallowed ground of extreme filmic wrongness. :) It was so irredeemably, irrevocably horrific, it has a wiki entry vastly longer than would be necessary to dispatch a movie merely ordinary in its mediocrity, just to catalog even a small fraction of its cinematic insults. Battlefield Earth is surely a special case, perhaps unprecedented and a singular perversion and level of depravity all the way down the line in terms of complete abandonment and abject failure of production, directing, acting, writing, you name it (probably the craft services catering was lousy?). Laughably in retrospect, it was just the first installment of an intended two part odyssey, but the level of negative reception was so overwhelming, catastrophic and total it blew up and bankrupted the financing company, leaving it a smoking crater in the ground.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battlefield_Earth_(film)

 
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And then I saw Mila Kunis was in it.... :thumbdown:
Good to know you like dudes.
Yeah wtf is he talking about?
Cameron Diaz and Kate Upton are hot too.. doesn't make them good actors.

If you are willing to sacrifice any chance of a movie being decent to have a hot chick in it... :shrug:
You underestimate the success of the Dukes of Hazzard. HINT: It wasn't the car.
I've also never seen Dukes of Hazzard. I don't go see movies because a hot chick is in it.

 
And then I saw Mila Kunis was in it.... :thumbdown:
Good to know you like dudes.
Yeah wtf is he talking about?
Cameron Diaz and Kate Upton are hot too.. doesn't make them good actors.

If you are willing to sacrifice any chance of a movie being decent to have a hot chick in it... :shrug:
You underestimate the success of the Dukes of Hazzard. HINT: It wasn't the car.
My point exactly. Perfect example.

 
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Without giving anything away, I'll just offer this advice for those that plan to see it: Set your expectations veeeery low.

 
And then I saw Mila Kunis was in it.... :thumbdown:
Good to know you like dudes.
Yeah wtf is he talking about?
Cameron Diaz and Kate Upton are hot too.. doesn't make them good actors.

If you are willing to sacrifice any chance of a movie being decent to have a hot chick in it... :shrug:
You underestimate the success of the Dukes of Hazzard. HINT: It wasn't the car.
I've also never seen Dukes of Hazzard. I don't go see movies because a hot chick is in it.
This. If I "need" to ogle hot chicks I have this thing called the internet.

 
Here's a hint: if a movie gets released in January or February it's probably going to suck
This. One thousand times. This.
Not always true, but usually true if it is more of a popcorn flick like this. Dramas/Oscar worthy type movies (like American Sniper) often get released in limited runs in December to be "considered" for that year and open wider in January or sometimes just open in January. A movie like this is more of a bad sign to open now. They are hoping for enough bad weather that people will go to the movies and say what the heck, nothing else new is around let's try it.

 
And then I saw Mila Kunis was in it.... :thumbdown:
Good to know you like dudes.
Yeah wtf is he talking about?
Cameron Diaz and Kate Upton are hot too.. doesn't make them good actors.

If you are willing to sacrifice any chance of a movie being decent to have a hot chick in it... :shrug:
You underestimate the success of the Dukes of Hazzard. HINT: It wasn't the car.
A 50m dollar film grossing 80M isn't a success in cinema speak is it?
 
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Not to be that guy...but this looks really, really bad. A blond vulcan/elf Channing Tatum?
My initial reaction to the preview was that it must be some kind of comedy spoof or satire. But as they've gone on, apparently this is supposed to be taken seriously. Yikes.

 
And then I saw Mila Kunis was in it.... :thumbdown:
Good to know you like dudes.
Yeah wtf is he talking about?
Cameron Diaz and Kate Upton are hot too.. doesn't make them good actors.

If you are willing to sacrifice any chance of a movie being decent to have a hot chick in it... :shrug:
You underestimate the success of the Dukes of Hazzard. HINT: It wasn't the car.
A 50m dollar film grossing 80M isn't a success in cinema speak is it?
I was talking about the TV show from the 70s, not the movie.

 
This really does look spectacularly terrible.
For all we know the Previews are incorrect in how this movie is and it will become this generations "Flash Gordon" :oldunsure:

ETA to add this posted on that page:

The Emperor Ming: Klytus, I'm bored. What play thing can you offer me today?

Klytus: An obscure body in the S-K System, Your Majesty. The inhabitants refer to it as the planet Earth.

The Emperor Ming: How peaceful it looks.

[He activates a console, and watches as earthquakes, floods, etc. start to occur. They both get a good laugh out of it]

Klytus: Most effective, Your Majesty. Will you destroy this Earth?

The Emperor Ming: Later. I like to play with thing a while before annihilation.

[laughs evilly]
:lmao:

 
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Oops

Despite the hype of a secret screening, clusters of seats inside the 300-person venue remained empty, and a handful of patrons walked out of the two-hour-plus space epic starring Mila Kunis as a princess and Channing Tatum as an intergalactic soldier tasked with rescuing her.

But when the film ended, the usually gracious Sundance audience didn’t clap at the closing credits.

“I hated it,” said one of the festival’s volunteers, who asked not to be identified for fear of irking Sundance. “It’s just ridiculous.

 
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Oops

Despite the hype of a secret screening, clusters of seats inside the 300-person venue remained empty, and a handful of patrons walked out of the two-hour-plus space epic starring Mila Kunis as a princess and Channing Tatum as an intergalactic soldier tasked with rescuing her.

But when the film ended, the usually gracious Sundance audience didn’t clap at the closing credits.

“I hated it,” said one of the festival’s volunteers, who asked not to be identified for fear of irking Sundance. “It’s just ridiculous.
Saw the latest trailer and it looks worse.. :oldunsure:

But showing this to a "Sundance" audience.. the definition of :bowtie:

What in the hell were they thinking?? :lmao:

 
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Oops

Despite the hype of a secret screening, clusters of seats inside the 300-person venue remained empty, and a handful of patrons walked out of the two-hour-plus space epic starring Mila Kunis as a princess and Channing Tatum as an intergalactic soldier tasked with rescuing her.

But when the film ended, the usually gracious Sundance audience didn’t clap at the closing credits.

“I hated it,” said one of the festival’s volunteers, who asked not to be identified for fear of irking Sundance. “It’s just ridiculous.
Saw the latest trailer and it looks worse.. :oldunsure:

But showing this to a "Sundance" audience.. the definition of :bowtie:

What in the hell were they thinking?? :lmao:
Yeah, talk about the worst audience possible for a screening. Here, let's show it to the people who like indie movies and see if we can get some positive buzz. That said, that article said it cost $175M to make. How does that happen? Think about all the good TV shows that got cancelled that could have run for years on the money that these idiots literally set on fire.

 
Boy meets girl

Girl finds out she's a princess

Princess finds out her planet will be destroyed

Boy saves girl's planet

Does that about sum it up?

 
Boy meets girl

Girl finds out she's a princess

Princess finds out her planet will be destroyed

Boy saves girl's planet Boy shows girl she has to save her planet.

Does that about sum it up?
*fixed for how I see it :shrug:

 
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