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my mom just passed away. (1 Viewer)

Wow. Just saw a story on the news about a family that packed up everything they owned and were moving to California to be closer to doctors for their 8 year old sons bone cancer...made it to Indiana before someone stole their truck.

Those folks have it bad.

My mom died in peace, at home, surrounded by her husband and both kids. She knew it was coming, was at peace with it, and had all of her things together. Things suck now, but man that story above just breaks my heart.

 
Sending you the best, Man. I am in the middle of my 80 year old dad's fight with cancer, and it hurts so bad. I am going to post a new thread about it because you mom deserves her own, but it is so painful.

 
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Sorry for your loss. I lost my oldest brother to pancreatic cancer 10 years ago. He was 49, same age as myself today. He was diagnosed in June and died in November. Brutal disease. My Mom too was a teacher and I fortunately still have her around and doing great at 82.

Lost my Dad three years ago at 80. Life is short, enjoy every moment and savor those you get with family. Glad you got to be there with her at the end and I'm sure she waited for you like others have said.

 
Sorry for your loss. I know the feeling all too well of losing your parents, but at the same time being relieved they are suffering anymore.

 
moleculo said:
At my parents house now. This is the slow part where we are relieved that she is in a better place and we are taking care of final issues, but before the service and before any extended family comes over. I have some downtime right now, and feel like sharing.

She had been battling pancreatic cancer for 8 years, so it wasn't exactly unexpected. She was 68, and had only been retired for less than a year when she got the diagnosis...same thing happened with her father (maybe I should either retire waaay early or never...haven't decided which). She fought the good fight up to the end. 8 years is a really long time with this, she had the same type that took Steve Jobs. Her battle took her as far as 4 or 5 trips to Amsterdam for experimental treatments no yet approved by the FDA, as well as some other experimental stuff that she had to battle with the insurance companies over. Anyways, I'm proud of the fight she gave. Ultimately, I think what took her down was the stress on her body brought upon by all of the treatments. For the past year, she was in and out of the hospital with pneumonia because the chemo wrecked her immune system. She spent the past 3 months or so in hospice care at home, which has been wonderful. She was tired of hospitals, she knew the end was near, and just wanted to be home. She actually got quite a bit better when they took her off of the chemo, but it didn't last.

I flew down to Florida to see her yesterday. She passed on about 15 minutes after I got here. No way to tell if she was conscious when I was here, but I like to think she was and was waiting for me.

I'm thankful that she was able to spend some good time with my kids. They spent a week here with my parents without my wife or I this summer - I know they all really enjoyed that.

I'm quite a bit more shaken up by this than my dad or brother. They have been dealing with the approaching end-time for a few weeks, the last time I saw mom was the Superbowl ( I spent that weekend here visiting), she was bedridden and slept a lot, but could have a conversation... Not that bad.

She is in a better place. She was a woman of strong faith, and its comforting knowing she is up Above looking down on us.

Anyway, my dad and brother are taking their naps, I've got the house to myself, bored out of my gourd, trying to find ways to pass the time. Not much to do until we can schedule the service.

Thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
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Sorry to hear this. My mom is battling cancer as well. You seem at peace and I know the struggles she (and you) have gone through. Sounds like she fought it a long time. Thoughts and prayers.

 
I'm sorry for your loss, moleculo. Cancer may have taken her body in the end, but it never took her spirit. Peace, love, and comfort to you and your family. GB Mama moleculo

 
So sorry to hear that man. When you get back, if you want to grab some beers and watch a game, shoot me an email. I'm sure we can drag John out too and get your mind off things and toast your mom.

 
Again, thanks everyone for the kind words, it means a lot.

The next part, the logistics of getting my family down to FL, is going to be rough. I'm flying back into Asheville tomorrow, driving back to charlotte, hopefully arriving before the 1"-3" of forcast snow. As soon as the roads are clear on Tuesday or Wednesday (i.e. when I can make it out of my neighborhood -this is the South, we don't handle snow well), we drive back to south FL for a Thursday viewing, Friday internment and Saturday memorial service. Drive back on Sun/Monday.

Its gotta be this way - I can't afford to fly the wife and kids down last minute, and I don't want my wife braving the 14 hour drive on her own with the kids, with inclement weather.

Also, I have a stepson in Nashville that we have to figure out how to get down here.

And, that's just the start. We want to have my dad come live with us, or at least near us. He has no other family in FL, and both my brother and I in Carolinas. As he ages, we want him nearer us. We couldn't get my folks up near us sooner because (a) my mom loved Florida and (b) she needed to be near her doctors to manage the cancer.

The logistics of this...its exhausting just thinking about it.

 
My dad wants to make sure the program at the service reads, "she never complained."

She was a better person than I.

 
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Sounds like a great woman. I feel very blessed to have had the short time I had with my mom. She never complained either. Just got #### done. 1st generation American and with no help from her parents she became the first woman in her family to graduate college. And then, despite meager earnings as an elementary school teacher, somehow managed to put all 7 of her kids through college. Just amazing. I remember that strength when times get tough, because I know I got some of that in me as well.

Hang in there and try to take care of yourself as much as possible (eating and sleeping). It's going to be an emotional roller coaster the next few days especially.

 
Wow, my mom lasted 10 months with pancreatic so 8 years was a massive achievement. While I can only imagine the ups and downs of an 8 year battle, hopefully that time gave you a chance to say everything you had to say, and share some happy times you could fully appreciate while they happened. The sort of times other families take too much for granted. T&P.

 
So sorry to hear this.

Grieving is hard enough, but having to handle all the various logistical issues makes it worse.

 
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