What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.

Did you ask your future father in law for permission to propose to his (1 Viewer)

Proposed two years ago. Nope. Would have as a courtesy if I had seen him in the couple months leading up to it but also wouldn't have cared if he said no.

 
No, never even thought about it.

We did discuss it a little after the fact but never asked for any kind of permission. My FIL was a man of few words.

 
No, we already owned a home together which was considered a bigger "event" than a proposal.

 
I did not. I do regret not asking though. Back then I didn't like him much, but over the years he has really grown on me. Wish I had. I told my son to make sure and ask his future father in law when the day comes.

 
I understand the tradition--at one time women were chattel. But what purpose does it serve now? And would any of you not go ahead and ask her if he said "no"?

 
Christo said:
I understand the tradition--at one time women were chattel. But what purpose does it serve now? And would any of you not go ahead and ask her if he said "no"?
Click to expand...
I wouldn't have expected my father in law to say no. It's just a sign of respect for the future FIL.

Not like it's ACTUALLY required for the license or anything.

 
top dog said:
I did not. I do regret not asking though. Back then I didn't like him much, but over the years he has really grown on me. Wish I had. I told my son to make sure and ask his future father in law when the day comes.
Click to expand...
I kind of regretted not asking as well. Never crossed my mind before the proposal, but was thinking afterwards that he probably would have really appreciated it. He's an old school, urban farmer kind of guy that's very traditionalist.

 
I asked before my first and my current marriage.

Funny part, when I asked my current in laws, first thing my mother in law said was "Are you sure you wan't to do this? You know she can be difficult"

 
Christo said:
I understand the tradition--at one time women were chattel. But what purpose does it serve now? And would any of you not go ahead and ask her if he said "no"?
Click to expand...
I bet there are plenty of guys who heard "no" and wish they had listened to him

 
Married 15+ years. I did not.

My philosophy back then was that I was marrying his daughter and it was her choice not his.

I was pretty stupid back then.

 
FreeBaGeL said:
top dog said:
I did not. I do regret not asking though. Back then I didn't like him much, but over the years he has really grown on me. Wish I had. I told my son to make sure and ask his future father in law when the day comes.
Click to expand...
I kind of regretted not asking as well. Never crossed my mind before the proposal, but was thinking afterwards that he probably would have really appreciated it. He's an old school, urban farmer kind of guy that's very traditionalist.
Click to expand...
I feel that way as well. My FIL was very quiet and we never talked much while we were dating so I never really felt the need. After we were married 5 years or so I started drinking beer with him a little and he just was a nice quiet man. I think he would have been honored a bit for me to ask for at least his blessing.

 
i think its old fashioned, but i l did it. My father in law still mentions it from time to time, he took it as an honor and it made an impression. that was like 23 years ago

 
I asked. He would only give permission if I converted to Islam (he's from Egypt.) I didn't convert and married her anyway.

He still doesn't like me very much.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
This thread has gotten me thinking.. I'm going to ask him next time I'm over there. He'll get a kick out of it. It's only been 15 years since we got married.

 
Didn't cross my mind. My wife was a grown adult. He would have said, "it's up to her."

Plus, it wouldn't have been a surprise to my wife.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Why you gotta be so rude?

Don't you know I'm human too?

Why you gotta be so rude?

I'm gonna marry her anyway!

Marry that girl

Marry her anyway

Marry that girl

Yeah no matter what you say

 
top dog said:
This thread has gotten me thinking.. I'm going to ask him next time I'm over there. He'll get a kick out of it. It's only been 15 years since we got married.
Click to expand...
I jokingly did this after our 20th anniversary this past October. He laughed about it.

Never even crossed my mind to ask all those many years ago (22 years).

 
sbonomo said:
Yes - old school Italian here.
Click to expand...
Same here, but that was back in 1996. It meant an awful lot to him and I'm very happy I did it. Years later he talked about it and he got all choked up. It's the only time I ever saw him get like that.Respect is a beautiful thing.

 
My first time I didn't ask. That marriage lasted a little over six months.

The next time I did and we will celebrate our twelve years together this summer.

Obviously this marriage has not lasted just because of my asking her father's permission, it is just reflective of my respect for her family and wanting to "do it the right way" from the start that I didn't have when I was younger.

 
I told him I was proposing. I didnt ask for his permission or blessing because my wife didnt really get along with him at the time.

Been married forever, but only 12 year calendar years.

 
Nope. Here dad is an absentee, lives-in-the-middle-of-nowhere-hermit loser. Didn't come to his own mother's funeral, so I knew he wouldn't come to our wedding. I did ask her mother for her blessing though, as she was the one that raised her daughter. She tried to talk me out of it but eventually gave her blessing. Now, says my wife, her mom feels way more loved and respected by me than by her two sons.

 
No.

FIL wasn't too fired up when my wife told him about our engagement.

8 days later, she suffered a massive brain injury. That will be 10 years ago in June. We are very close these days. My wife doesn't remember that conversation, and though I am curious what his hesitation might've been, I don't see any point in asking.

Never really got the whole asking for permission/blessing thing, and in my own case,I'm glad I didnt.

 
I asked for his blessing, not his permission. The distinction was important to me at the time, but he probably didn't notice or care. He appreciated it.

 
I did. I think he appreciated the thought. It was a surprise so i had to trust him to stay quiet for a few weeks. I think he enjoyed being in the know.

 
CletiusMaximus said:
I asked for his blessing, not his permission. The distinction was important to me at the time, but he probably didn't notice or care. He appreciated it.
Click to expand...
Same here. I did it not for any tradition or b/c I thought I even needed his blessing, but because I knew he'd appreciate it. Plus he was my source for getting the ring at a good price haha.
 
Yes - I asked him 5 years ago over a beer while playing golf

He appreciated it greatly and I could tell it meant a lot to him

 
CletiusMaximus said:
I asked for his blessing, not his permission. The distinction was important to me at the time, but he probably didn't notice or care. He appreciated it.
Click to expand...
Same here. Eight years ago this July, wow that went fast. I had been with my girl for about 7 years already at the time, and he always used to tell me that I had to get his permission before asking her. Old school eye-talian, off the boat, Italian Stallion tattoo on the forearm. That guy. But I told him I was asking her whether he said no or not, just figured it was a nice sign of respect is all.

 
wife had mentioned that she wanted me to ask her dad first. So I did.

Well, tried to anyway. I was nervous and instead of asking for permission, I told him I was going to propose. He shook my hand instead of punching me so I took that as permission.

 
Yes, I asked...about 16 years ago. My in-laws were very appreciative of the gesture. My wife is truly "daddy's little girl" and it meant the world to her to have dad's blessing. From my perspective, it was a nice show of respect towards her family, and in some ways, a recognition on my part that through marriage I was joining this family, not just a single person. I gained a lot of capital with the in-laws and wife by doing it.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Manster
Looking for advice/resources for a disabled veteran dealing with some mental distress
Replies
11
Views
380
Manster
Manster
belljr
Normal aging brain function or something more?
Replies
46
Views
1K
popeye
popeye
Joe Bryant
Revenge - Forgiveness - Grace. Some thoughts.
Replies
30
Views
955
dickey moe
dickey moe

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)
Top