TheIronSheik
SUPER ELITE UPPER TIER
Got home early from work on Friday and decided to try and mow my lawn before the deluge of rain hit that was forecasted for the weekend. I start up the mower and start pushing it through the high grass. During the second pass, I step in a hole and almost twist my ankle. Hole felt at least 6 inches deep. I finish up that pass and turn back ready to take a look at this new found hole in the yard. As I get closer, I can see what looks like tiny moths fluttering out of the hole. I'm intrigued, so I stop right next to it to get a look. These bugs that are flying out of the hole appear to be small, but they are moving fast, so it was hard to really focus on them. I remember thinking "They almost look like tiny bees, but I'm guessing if they were bees, they would have stung me by now."
The comedic timing of that sentence was amazing, because as I thought "now" a sharp pain hit me in the back of the knee. That's when I realized it was a hornet's nest. I pushed the mower up to the driveway as two more stings hit my legs. If anyone was watching me, I'm sure it looked like I was doing some Native American Indian dance. Waving my hands and high stepping all over the place. I ran for the front door and went inside. Once inside, I quickly caught my breath and got some ice from the freezer.
I sat down on the couch, leg in horrible pain. I sat there for about 5 minutes alternating the ice pack to the three different sting points when all of a sudden a new pain appeared on my foot. I looked down and there on my sock was a hornet humping my leg like a dog in heat. ******* followed me in and attacked me on my home turf. Totally uncalled for.
"This means war!", I thought to myself. So I called Orkin to see about them coming out and putting a world of hurt down on the ground nest. They said they could be out the next day for a mere $300.
I told them, no chance. So I called some local companies and the cheapest I could find was $150. Again, no way. I would have paid probably no more than $75 to have someone else worry about stings, but no way hundreds of dollars. I would have to forgo the mercenaries and take on the opposing enemy's stronghold by myself.
I went to Home Depot and found some commercial grade stinging pest death spray. I knew it had to be good because it said federal law prohibited use of this product other than how the label said to use it. I was prepared to go to prison to defend my home. The time for the occupying forces in my front lawn to leave had come.
As the sun set, I wrapped my self in as much clothing as possible, covering every piece of skin in preparation for my impending jihad. I slowly moved into position as I watched some patrol hornets buzz around the perimeter of their base. Hands shaking, I sprayed the poison into the entrance while screaming "DEATH TO HORNETS!!!!" in my head.
I emptied a can and a half of that spray into the stinging infidels base of operations. Probably not exactly what the label recommended, but what I felt was necessary.
As of this morning, I think I've dealt a huge blow to their operation. Time will tell. My next plan is to hit them one more time and pour dirt down the hole after. Who knows how long this war will go on, but I prepared to fight for as long as I can.
Probably should have just paid for the exterminator. One more sting and I'll be calling him anyway. But at least for now, I feel as if I've won.
The comedic timing of that sentence was amazing, because as I thought "now" a sharp pain hit me in the back of the knee. That's when I realized it was a hornet's nest. I pushed the mower up to the driveway as two more stings hit my legs. If anyone was watching me, I'm sure it looked like I was doing some Native American Indian dance. Waving my hands and high stepping all over the place. I ran for the front door and went inside. Once inside, I quickly caught my breath and got some ice from the freezer.
I sat down on the couch, leg in horrible pain. I sat there for about 5 minutes alternating the ice pack to the three different sting points when all of a sudden a new pain appeared on my foot. I looked down and there on my sock was a hornet humping my leg like a dog in heat. ******* followed me in and attacked me on my home turf. Totally uncalled for.
"This means war!", I thought to myself. So I called Orkin to see about them coming out and putting a world of hurt down on the ground nest. They said they could be out the next day for a mere $300.
I told them, no chance. So I called some local companies and the cheapest I could find was $150. Again, no way. I would have paid probably no more than $75 to have someone else worry about stings, but no way hundreds of dollars. I would have to forgo the mercenaries and take on the opposing enemy's stronghold by myself.I went to Home Depot and found some commercial grade stinging pest death spray. I knew it had to be good because it said federal law prohibited use of this product other than how the label said to use it. I was prepared to go to prison to defend my home. The time for the occupying forces in my front lawn to leave had come.
As the sun set, I wrapped my self in as much clothing as possible, covering every piece of skin in preparation for my impending jihad. I slowly moved into position as I watched some patrol hornets buzz around the perimeter of their base. Hands shaking, I sprayed the poison into the entrance while screaming "DEATH TO HORNETS!!!!" in my head.
I emptied a can and a half of that spray into the stinging infidels base of operations. Probably not exactly what the label recommended, but what I felt was necessary.
As of this morning, I think I've dealt a huge blow to their operation. Time will tell. My next plan is to hit them one more time and pour dirt down the hole after. Who knows how long this war will go on, but I prepared to fight for as long as I can.
Probably should have just paid for the exterminator. One more sting and I'll be calling him anyway. But at least for now, I feel as if I've won.
over the top as fast as I could...
