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WYOMING MAN FOUND WITH 30 EYEBALLS IN HIS ANAL CAVITY (1 Viewer)

SHIZNITTTT

Footballguy
http://crazed.com/wyoming-man-eyeballs-in-cavity/

Police made a routine traffic stop early Thursday morning and got more than they bargained for when Roy Tilbott, 51, stepped out of his El Camino for a field sobriety test and Casper police noticed several eyeballs slide from his right pant leg onto the road. Feeling they could have a potential murderer on their hands, police quickly drew guns and cuffed Tilbott. Tilbott assured police the eyeballs were not human, but instead cow eyeballs he had pilfered from Johnson Meats (a slaughterhouse) where Tilbott is employed as a butcher. Above: Bovine eyeball from Tilbott’s rectum. A total of 30 were found. Image Source: Casper Police Department

“Company won’t let us take animal scraps home and instead toss them in the landfill,” Tilbott said in the police report. “They’re a very wasteful company. We should be allowed to take scrap meat and other parts home. The company should start a green initiative. They don’t even have recycling at the plant.”

Tilbott explained his actions: “I enjoy eating bovine eyeballs and smuggling them out in my colon was the only way I knew how to get them out without potentially getting caught and fired.”

Tilbott told police he estimates he has smuggled several thousand eyeballs from the plant over the past few months.

“I put them in soups,” Tilbott said in the police report. “They’re beneficial for erectile dysfunction, which I currently battle, but I also just like the texture and taste.”

Tilbott was arrested for driving under the influence, his BAC two times higher than the legal limit, plus he was in possession of several large carving knives possibly stolen from the meat packing plant, but Tilbott has not been charged with theft as police need to further investigate to determine who the knives belong to.

Police are also unsure whether to charge Tilbott with theft for the bovine eyeballs. They are waiting to talk with Tilbott’s employer first.

Actual picture on the webpage of eyeball that was in ######.

 
That company may want to review their hiring policies. They should have known he was someone to keep an eye on.

 
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I can see his point, but his stance on corporate waste is a bit anal, IMO.

 
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Dear Guiness Book,

Please see recent article on my arrest. Unless you can document 31, I trust I shall be included in your next edition.

Sincerely,

"Bo Peep"

 
If you turn your ear towards Wyoming, that's not the sound of stampeding buffalo. It's the vomiting of anyone who ever ate this guy's cooking.

 
I can get a good look at a t bone by putting my head up a bulls ###, but I'd rather take the butchers word for it.

 
When the officer learned what it was he could have allowed him to moooove on

After all, to err is human, but to forgive is bovine.

 
It is terribly wasteful to just throw the eyeballs away. They are rich in vitamin A. At least put them in cat food or something.

 
Eye hate all of you.

Those puns were ######.

You can't say "an us"?

 
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