How Long Did Your Son/Daughter Play Youth Sports? (1 Viewer)

I'm trying to figure out why our family pours so much time, money, and energy into this endeavor, so I'm curious to hear the responses. Thanks.

I played from age 7 through adulthood

Both my boys played 3 sports through high school. It kept them healthy, socially connected, and out of trouble.

My son played lacrosse and footall from 7 years old until his junior year in high school when he was sidelined with a torn acl/meniscus. I played baseball from 6 years old until Senior year in high school.

My son is 8 and just did a year of t-ball when he was 5. He may not do any other team sports, but will see what he wants to do over the next few years. Doing Cub Scouts instead.

I played little league baseball for a few years and pop warner for a few years. Then golf took over.

Hockey age 4 through HS , football 7 through HS

baseball 5? through the end of LL then lacrosse

I'm getting there myself. Like everything my wife does, she seems always to choose the things that take the most time and money for what's in our wheelhouse. 8 and 6 year olds just joined a very competitive swim team. It costs a grand per kid for just the practices (meets cost extra but cost isn't listed so I'm sure its a lot) and in addition we have to volunteer 40 hours or pay $15/hr for every hour we don't volunteer. Practices are 3 times a week and for 6 weeks in the summer, they had 7:30 am practice 4 days a week. My kids aren't very competitive athletically so I don't think their swim careers will lead to any type of scholarship and they really only do it b/c we tell them to.

My oldest played until he was 11.

My youngest played 2 seasons of clinic soccer and one year of lacrosse after that.

My middle one has played some sport year-round since age 5, and has focused on one sport only once he got to high school.

As to the 'why', I speak for only my wife and I here; we put our kids in sports first because it was something to try, and as each kid's interests moved to something else, sports fell away, but in the case of my middle child, he took to it and became more 'passionate' about doing it. My other two aren't as physically coordinated as the one, so sports didn't really hold their interest. The baseball arc of my son's life is too long to tell here, but to attempt to answer the question regarding why we invested so much time, money and energy into it, I'll say that the two main reasons have been that 1) we've been able to, and 2) over the years he has fallen in with a great group of kids that he played with and against that he hangs out with outside of school and baseball. That's no guarantee of anything, but right now we couldn't have asked for a better group of friends for him.

Also, I'll confess that early on, there was the dream of him making it big in sports and that we were doing what needed to be done to get him there; however, it also became pretty clear early on that it would have taken more than we could afford, as well as the realization that while he is pretty good for average folks, he's just not that one in a million kid that has what it takes physically to be a professional athlete, so instead the 'return' I'm looking for in this investment has been the memories, experiences and friendships he (and my wife and I) have had.

I don't know how far along in this aspect of your kids' life you are, but it took until my son was about 13 or so for me to see this as an adventure of sorts. I don't know where the road will end for him baseball-wise, but that chapter of his life is one that has shaped who he has become as a young man, given him friendships he cherishes and offered him some opportunies he wouldn't have otherwise had (such as getting to play for free in a tournament at Disney World with a team he wasn't even on). Bottom line, though, is that at no time have I pushed him into any of this and it has always been what he wants to do. In fact, over the years he has turned down extra expenses such as pitching lessons and camps, which made me worry at times. If your kid(s) are enjoying it, that's all the reason you need.

No delusions of college ball but currently my daughter loves it and is really good at it for her age. Will things change over time, absolutely but for now we are in

My older son is entering his JR year in high school. He played soccer from 5 - 10; baseball since he was 6; football since he was 10; and is on the high school snowboard team (that is actually a varsity sport). He has a reasonable shot to play baseball for a DII or DIII college.

My younger son is entering 8th grade. He played 2 years of soccer and 1 of tball. He moved on to Karate in 2nd grade and earned his Black Belt in 5th grade. He tests for his 2nd degree in Dec. His team has won nearly every national championship for the past 4 years and has been on ESPN numerous times.

These sports have cost us a bucketfull of $$ but we didn't do any of it with the goal of getting any scholarship money. Looking back, the only thing I would do differently is to not have my older son play so much travel baseball. It dominated our summers so much that the focus for almost a decade has been solely on baseball.

NutterButter said:

I'm getting there myself. Like everything my wife does, she seems always to choose the things that take the most time and money for what's in our wheelhouse. 8 and 6 year olds just joined a very competitive swim team. It costs a grand per kid for just the practices (meets cost extra but cost isn't listed so I'm sure its a lot) and in addition we have to volunteer 40 hours or pay $15/hr for every hour we don't volunteer. Practices are 3 times a week and for 6 weeks in the summer, they had 7:30 am practice 4 days a week. My kids aren't very competitive athletically so I don't think their swim careers will lead to any type of scholarship and they really only do it b/c we tell them to.

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wow - that seems extreme. Is Mark Spitz coaching that team? I don't think I could make that level of time/money investment unless my kid was really very much dedicated to it. My son does a variety of sports - club, school and informal - the most expensive of which is his club soccer which is about $900 for the year (Fall, Winter and Spring seasons) and includes the uniforms, all league games and tournaments, and the parent time investment is much less.

My sons played baseball into Colt and throughout High School. My daughter played softball through her junior year but did not play her senior year.

My son is almost 21 and still plays tee-ball.

My boy is 12 and da has plaed hockey/lax/ baseball since he was 6 (dropping baseball next year) 15 y/o girl lax since 7 and cross country since 12, and 10 y/o girl hockey and lax since she was 6. They all play because the love the games and will presumably continue their respective sports through HS. I spent at least $12k in tuition, camps and equipment last year. Hockey and lax are not cheap. Ridiculous but it makes them happy and they're all very good at their respective sports. No delusions of them being pros, Olympians or even scholarship athletes but I don't consider it money wasted.

Son played baseball through high school and then decided not to play in college. Played on several travel teams, etc. Although I was a coach myself still took him for hitting lessons with a guy who is phenomenal in our area. To me all the time was worth it because he learned values, made a great group of friends, and, very importantly, had a place in high school. Very important. I didn't want my kids having a lot of idle time. They felt they belonged to something and identified to a group. Couldn't hang out with the wrong crowd (or didn't).

Girls did a bunch of activities, dance, soccer, softball up until they were 15 or so.

NutterButter said:

I'm getting there myself. Like everything my wife does, she seems always to choose the things that take the most time and money for what's in our wheelhouse. 8 and 6 year olds just joined a very competitive swim team. It costs a grand per kid for just the practices (meets cost extra but cost isn't listed so I'm sure its a lot) and in addition we have to volunteer 40 hours or pay $15/hr for every hour we don't volunteer. Practices are 3 times a week and for 6 weeks in the summer, they had 7:30 am practice 4 days a week. My kids aren't very competitive athletically so I don't think their swim careers will lead to any type of scholarship and they really only do it b/c we tell them to.

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Holy moliness.

Oldest son is playing football his freshman year of HS. His 4th year of playing. Youngest son is 11 and is playing his 4th year of football also. It is something that has bit them, and they are passionate about. I will support that forever.

I am 45, and still hang out with guys I played baseball with when I was 15 years old. It all you get is some lifetime friends, then the sports were worth it. Nevermind the time off the couch away from the video games and screens that seem to dominate free time these days

We are starting to get into the land of activities/sports with our daughter who is 4. So far, she has just done dance and 'soccershots' with both being associated with her school/daycare. She really wanted to do the dance because her friends were in it. I guess Soccershots is some program the US Soccer Assocation came up with to grab new kids into soccer. It is not a league or anything but they just teach young kids soccer. She wanted to do the soccershots because apparently the did a session with all the kids before sending them home with sign up sheets. She seemed excited about it so we did it for the summer. Now there is a new sign up which I guess we will do again.

I am not too concerned about how long she does the activity/sport or if she will get a scholarship or go pro etc. My concern is to allow her (and later her brothers) to get exposure with different things. If they like it, great- you have our support to continue. If they don't, then I am not going to push it and they can stop. I want them to have the experiences and allow that as a way to explore who they are and what they like as well as grow mentally, phyiscally, emotionally and socially through those experiences.

I was pretty active and had a wide range of interests. At one point my parents came to me and told me that I had to choose the ones I liked best and drop the others (essentially, financially and time investment on their part it was just too much.) So, I kept basketball and baseball and dropped karate and boy scouts. If my kids are like me and end up liking a lot of things then there may be a point that I make them choose which they like the most.

The biggest thing I am trying to figure out is how much freedom do I give them and should I encourage/discourage at all. I was never a fan of soccer and know nothing about the sport. There are tons of other sports that if my kids were interested in- I can get involved with them, whether formally or just more one on one interaction with them. Soccer is absolutely not one of them. If my kids end up liking soccer a lot, I pretty much would go watch them on their games and that is it. If it is baseball, for example, then I can take them to play catch, show them how to hit, go to the batting cages, etc. But should I encourage them to like one sport over the other just because I could really be involved versus just supporting them?

Stepdaughter is now a freshman in college. She played a variety of sports off an on, but primarily volleyball through junior year in high school (she couldn't make varsity as a senior).

My boys are 12 and 13, and play baseball and basketball primarily, but have also tried football and hockey.

I think the biggest reasons we do it are that it keeps them active and involved. I'm pretty sure they are studies on how much better kids do in high school who are involved in sports being involved in nothing. I'm sure that success would be consistent with any other extra curricular, but I love sports so I have passed that on to my boys. I could see both of them playing basketball through high school, but neither will be playing college ball. My younger son will probably branch out in to some more intellectual groups in high school, but if my older son isn't playing sports, he would definitely find trouble or start hanging out with kids I'd rather he didn't. That or he'd spend every waking moment sitting in front of the TV playing video games, or something equally as unproductive.

Played baseball from the time I was 7 through HS.

Played roller hockey for a year.

Played soccer for 2 years.

Played basketball for 4 years.

Played football for 3 years in HS.

Nothing wrong with making an investment in sports. Teaches team work, dedication, discipline, social skills, responsibility, etc. I would never tell my daughter that we don't have enough time for her sports. She just turned 3 and she's starting soccer in a few weeks. I hope she enjoys it.

Chadstroma said:

But should I encourage them to like one sport over the other just because I could really be involved versus just supporting them?

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I don't know how to answer, but I can look back to the travel baseball team my son played on for a number of years as an example. The head coach and all of the assistants naturally had kids on the team, but only the head coach really 'got it' when it came to what coaching youth sports, especially at the younger ages, should be about, which is developing skills and creating postive memories/experiences. That was his focus the whole time, and it culminated in an amazing run in Cooperstown at age 12. Unfortunately, the head coach's son was good but really uninterested in playing, and it came out after my son left that team that he was only there because his dad was the coach and as soon as he had the choice, he stopped playing. Even though that was the case, the head coach committed so much time and effort into that team that all of the kids who stayed in baseball after that team broke up are contributing players on their HS team, and I believe that the ones that stopped before high school probably are still skilled enough to at least make the team. On the other hand, some of the assistants were more worried about wins and losses and/or their kid getting as much playing time as possible. This lead to at least one payer quitting and another--my son's best friend at the time FWIW--left for another team before quitting two years later.

Basically, I think you'd have to ask yourself which kind of coach you would be: the kind that strives doggedly to engage all of the kids and put winning second, or the kind that puts winning and/or their idea of their own kid's best interests first? But more importantly than that, how do you think your kids would handle you coaching them?

CletiusMaximus said:

NutterButter said:

I'm getting there myself. Like everything my wife does, she seems always to choose the things that take the most time and money for what's in our wheelhouse. 8 and 6 year olds just joined a very competitive swim team. It costs a grand per kid for just the practices (meets cost extra but cost isn't listed so I'm sure its a lot) and in addition we have to volunteer 40 hours or pay $15/hr for every hour we don't volunteer. Practices are 3 times a week and for 6 weeks in the summer, they had 7:30 am practice 4 days a week. My kids aren't very competitive athletically so I don't think their swim careers will lead to any type of scholarship and they really only do it b/c we tell them to.

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wow - that seems extreme. Is Mark Spitz coaching that team? I don't think I could make that level of time/money investment unless my kid was really very much dedicated to it. My son does a variety of sports - club, school and informal - the most expensive of which is his club soccer which is about $900 for the year (Fall, Winter and Spring seasons) and includes the uniforms, all league games and tournaments, and the parent time investment is much less.

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They've had a couple of olympic medalists on that team; goldblatt and someone else that i can't remember. It gets even better. Anyone that's had their kid in dance can attest to how rough a dance recital can be; 2+ hours just to watch your kid dance for a few minutes. A swim meet makes a dance recital look like a pleasure cruise. The only one the oldest had so far was a shorter one lasting over 4 hours where she did four races in that time lasting about 2 minutes total. Sorry, I can't be doing that. If they do stay on the team until their junior and senior years, the cost per kid is ~2500 just for practices along with 80 hours of volunteer time. Effing insane.

My Dad played soccer from when he was little til he got to college. He got a scholarship to play but got kicked off the team for drugs. He coached me (and my little brother) from when we were 7 til we went to college we both ended up getting scholarships for soccer.

We were on a very competitive travel team, we went to Europe to play once, traveled to a majority of states and had a different tournament just about every other weekend and practices 3x a week.

I was good enough for a scholarship to a D1 school, but Title 9 caused the soccer program to go defunct, so I ended up taking a scholarship to an NAIA school, til I got tired of it and switched schools to chase a girl. Played ODP from first time I was eligible, made the Regional Pool twice, but that's about where I maxed out. I never realized the sacrifice/money/time involved as a kid because it was just something I always did, and my dad was always the coach. There was no offseason, in the winter we played indoor. The best man at my wedding was someone I played with since I was 6. I still play in a men's league and 3 of the other guys were on my teams growing up.

My oldest son just turned 3 and his first soccer practice is tonight, and my Dad and I are coaching his team. Pretty excited.

T-ball and LL Baseball from 5-15yo. 4 years of HS baseball.

Recreation soccer 5-13yo, including 1 year of travel soccer (fall & spring outdoor and winter indoor). 3 years of HS soccer.

1 year of rec basketball.

Youth bowling starting at 14, including 4 years of HS bowling. Still does youth bowling tournaments.

ETA: Forgot, he was also in karate for about 3 years.

Can OP explain the premise of the question? I don't understand the "how long do you 'let' your kids play sports.

Wouldn't you ordinarily let them play for as many years as they're interested?

Charlie Steiner said:

Chadstroma said:

But should I encourage them to like one sport over the other just because I could really be involved versus just supporting them?

Click to expand...

I don't know how to answer, but I can look back to the travel baseball team my son played on for a number of years as an example. The head coach and all of the assistants naturally had kids on the team, but only the head coach really 'got it' when it came to what coaching youth sports, especially at the younger ages, should be about, which is developing skills and creating postive memories/experiences. That was his focus the whole time, and it culminated in an amazing run in Cooperstown at age 12. Unfortunately, the head coach's son was good but really uninterested in playing, and it came out after my son left that team that he was only there because his dad was the coach and as soon as he had the choice, he stopped playing. Even though that was the case, the head coach committed so much time and effort into that team that all of the kids who stayed in baseball after that team broke up are contributing players on their HS team, and I believe that the ones that stopped before high school probably are still skilled enough to at least make the team. On the other hand, some of the assistants were more worried about wins and losses and/or their kid getting as much playing time as possible. This lead to at least one payer quitting and another--my son's best friend at the time FWIW--left for another team before quitting two years later.

Basically, I think you'd have to ask yourself which kind of coach you would be: the kind that strives doggedly to engage all of the kids and put winning second, or the kind that puts winning and/or their idea of their own kid's best interests first? But more importantly than that, how do you think your kids would handle you coaching them?

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The answer to the questions of what kind of coach I would be would be one that is about the kids. I would want to foster a healthy competitive spirit and encourage them to better themselves (as a player in the sport and beyond).

As for the second part- my guess is that my daughter would love me being involved with her but who knows- that could change over time. My second son is only 2 and my third is not born yet- so who knows?

For me, it is not even about coaching. I could very well coach or help coach baseball, basketball or football. I could engage with them on many other sports. That for me is the thing that I want. To be able to be involved and interact with them and even help them along the way even if it is not formally coaching the team.

Soccer specifically... not as much. I don't know anything about the sport other than you try to kick the ball into the goal. And because of my bad knee... I can not do much kicking at all... so there really is not much I would interact with on my kids on. It is not about liking the sport or not. I don't like fishing but when my daughter showed interest, I was fully prepared to buy us some fishing poles and go fishing with her (up until I showed her some worms for bait and she freaked out... ) There really is not many sports that I would be useless in but soccer certainly is one of them. I don't want to overly influence my kids towards a direction they may like or away from something they might just because of the level of involvement I could have in it but at the same time I do hope they like things I can be involved in.

I swam and played soccer all the way through HS. I gave up baseball when I was 12 as I wasn't enjoying it. I played roller hockey from about 11-16, and basketball for about the same time period. Some of my best friends to this day are the people I swam with. If I were good enough I would have played soccer and swam in college, but I wasn't. IMHO it's silly to prepare your child for professional sports, but it's great to get them active and involved. My 3 year old son LOVES soccer, baseball and basketball, while my 3 year old daughter just learned to swim and it's all she wants to do every day. Seeing the excitement they get out of playing makes any money spent well worth it. When my kids are old enough for more organized sports I fully intend to coach or help coach.

randall146 said:

Can OP explain the premise of the question? I don't understand the "how long do you 'let' your kids play sports.

Wouldn't you ordinarily let them play for as many years as they're interested?

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The question wasn't how long do you let them play youth sports, the question was how long did they play youth sports. The reason I asked was because if most kids drop out of youth sports by the time they're 13, then I'm beginning to question why there's such a focus in our household on youth sports. Although it sounds like this forum is not indicative of that age 13 drop-out.

I guess we're fortunate that our children get good grades, and are in good health with little in the way of disabilities besides ADHD, which is under control with medication. Still we are reaching that time when youth sports really starts to kick it up a notch, my son is 13, and my daughter is 11. My daughter is the better natural athlete, but neither really seem destined for high school sports, maybe my daughter. It is so insanely competitive in our area, and I'm wondering what's the point of it all. It isn't fun anymore for me. I guess it is still fun for them and that's the point, but again it isn't fun for me anymore, and I'm questioning our priorities.

Chadstroma said:

The answer to the questions of what kind of coach I would be would be one that is about the kids. I would want to foster a healthy competitive spirit and encourage them to better themselves (as a player in the sport and beyond).

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Will you stay that course no matter what? Will you have the fortitude to put up with parents that have other ideas? Will you treat every kid on that team as if they were your own son/daughter?

Did sports year round from about age 6 to college. Once in college I just played intramurals once in awhile. Most of the time I drank beer and ate crappy food. I was pretty thin until college. Been a fat turd since college (besides the occasional weight loss bet that gets me to shed some lbs).

Both of my kids play sports all year except the summer. In the summer they do a week or 2 of a sports camp (daughter volleyball, son did soccer and a baseball camp).

spOOfy said:

Did sports year round from about age 6 to college. Once in college I just played intramurals once in awhile. Most of the time I drank beer and ate crappy food. I was pretty thin until college. Been a fat turd since college (besides the occasional weight loss bet that gets me to shed some lbs).

Both of my kids play sports all year except the summer. In the summer they do a week or 2 of a sports camp (daughter volleyball, son did soccer and a baseball camp).

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When the next bet

belljr said:

spOOfy said:

Did sports year round from about age 6 to college. Once in college I just played intramurals once in awhile. Most of the time I drank beer and ate crappy food. I was pretty thin until college. Been a fat turd since college (besides the occasional weight loss bet that gets me to shed some lbs).

Both of my kids play sports all year except the summer. In the summer they do a week or 2 of a sports camp (daughter volleyball, son did soccer and a baseball camp).

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When the next bet

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Good question. I need to lose weight stat. Like for medical reasons.

spOOfy said:

belljr said:

spOOfy said:

Did sports year round from about age 6 to college. Once in college I just played intramurals once in awhile. Most of the time I drank beer and ate crappy food. I was pretty thin until college. Been a fat turd since college (besides the occasional weight loss bet that gets me to shed some lbs).

Both of my kids play sports all year except the summer. In the summer they do a week or 2 of a sports camp (daughter volleyball, son did soccer and a baseball camp).

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When the next bet

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Good question. I need to lose weight stat. Like for medical reasons.

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I've just reach my breaking point but am not motivated

Spoofy belljr the new Otis woz?

Braktastic said:

randall146 said:

Can OP explain the premise of the question? I don't understand the "how long do you 'let' your kids play sports.

Wouldn't you ordinarily let them play for as many years as they're interested?

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The question wasn't how long do you let them play youth sports, the question was how long did they play youth sports. The reason I asked was because if most kids drop out of youth sports by the time they're 13, then I'm beginning to question why there's such a focus in our household on youth sports. Although it sounds like this forum is not indicative of that age 13 drop-out.

I guess we're fortunate that our children get good grades, and are in good health with little in the way of disabilities besides ADHD, which is under control with medication. Still we are reaching that time when youth sports really starts to kick it up a notch, my son is 13, and my daughter is 11. My daughter is the better natural athlete, but neither really seem destined for high school sports, maybe my daughter. It is so insanely competitive in our area, and I'm wondering what's the point of it all. It isn't fun anymore for me. I guess it is still fun for them and that's the point, but again it isn't fun for me anymore, and I'm questioning our priorities.

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That's too bad that it's not fun for you anymore. But, I can understand that. It really can get to be a grind.

Earlier I mentioned I have 17 year-old and 13 year-old boys. Sports have dominated our family life since they were both about 5 years old. Looking back I, too, question if it was worth it. If I could do it all over again I would try and free up some time in the summers for us to take family vacations.

This past summer we spent a week in Door County fishing, and I took them canoeing in the Boundary Waters for 5 days. But, every other single weekend was spent traveling to baseball games and karate tournaments.

Looking at the positives, though, there were many. I realy will treasure all the time we spent playing catch and having one-on-one father/son time as we spent countless hours on the road traveling to tourneys. And we did some cool things like going to Guatemala to play ball and paint a school house, along with some other community service.

And there really is something to be said about having a routine to count on. Almost every weekend of the year my older son goes to conditioning, weight lifting, baseball practice, or tournaments/games. He still has a lot of downtime, video game time, and sleepovers, but at least he has his sports outlets, too.

And seeing my younger son win his first national karate tournament was really special. He's a little guy and his trophy was taller than he is.

Anyway, if money had been an issue I'm sure we would have done things differently. But, that didn't factor into the decisions we made. Good luck figuring this out.

Shrug. I kept playing sports regularly until my mid to late 30s. Injuries caught up as well as time commitments

Funny how the OP asks how long your son/daughter played sports and a lot of the replies are "I played this sport blah blah blah".

larch said:

Funny how the OP asks how long your son/daughter played sports and a lot of the reply are "I played this sport blah blah blah".

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Well since my daughter is only 9. 5 years so far.

My son played everything he wanted to try from 7 through high school

Until they were no longer youths.

My kids were not great athletes when really young. Still, they enjoyed playing rec soccer, basketball, baseball/softball through eighth grade. No travel teams or anything like that. They did take piano lessons during this time as well as gymnastic stuff when they were really young. My son blossomed in high school and now plays college tennis (D3) which he started via community tennis lessons around 6th grade. My daughter is a junior and on varsity volleyball and the #1 tennis player for her school. She'll be good enough to play D3 if she wants.

My sister had 3 boys and their entire lives have revolved around sports. Travel teams during the summer, multiple rec teams, and nothing but sports at night. Only one of the boys played through high school and now in college they don't even play intramural sports. Also her kids were super obnoxious as they mimicked a lot of the mannerisms they saw nightly on tv.

My point is that I don't think making a young kid's life 100% sports-centered is necessarily the best route to take. There's plenty of room for sports, music, art, etc.