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Soon to be Ex-Wife...UPDATE 06/16 (1 Viewer)

L

Lutherman2112

Footballguy
Wife and I split in May. Fairly amicable right now as we head into settlement meeting next Friday as a precursor to what could be our final court date in November. Wife is a VP of a private company, and has received several bonuses of the company's private stock. Company sold approximately 25% of their stock a few years ago, some of which was granted to wife. Her take home after tax was $550,000.

Looking over the financial statement, she isn't reporting the number of shares granted, nor the value of shares. I have pointed this out to my lawyer a couple of times, and I will know more when I go to a meeting later this week.

Is there a specific form (like IRS form, SEC, etc) that could be produced that will show the trail of stock granted, value, and date of sale?

When the stock was sold, would the company sell just 25% of her holdings? Could they have sold a large % of her shares as opposed equal amounts from each shareholder?

 
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Not sure I'd want to be posting private financial deals on a public message board either. Maybe a lawyer or two can chime in. Just be careful, get a good lawyer and good luck. Divorce sucks but it does get better on the flip side for most.

 
So you're basically trying to do what we all get pissed at women for doing during divorce?

Unless she's asking for alimony, let her keep her money.

 
The IRS definitely doesn't and I doubt the SEC would have any kind of public info available, but you could check.

The stock price for a private company is tough to figure. You can either look at historical transactions, an internal valuation or a third party valuation.

Honestly, if things are amicable enough, I'd just ask her to please include something fair in there. Any discrepancy between her valuation and the true value will pale in comparison to the cost of trying to dig out a better value. If she tries to say zero, or set it at something insanely low like par value of $1, I'd complain. But otherwise, whatever she would come up with will have to be good enough.

 
General Malaise said:
Hope you have a good lawyer.
Click to expand...
I have a great one that reported she works well with my wife's lawyer. My lawyer doesn't believe my wife's lawyer is purposely helping wife hide assets.

My lawyer reports she will go all out to find these assets, and when I first brought this up, my lawyer commented, "That might be one reason your wife wants to settle so fast."

 
James Daulton said:
So you're basically trying to do what we all get pissed at women for doing during divorce?

Unless she's asking for alimony, let her keep her money.
Click to expand...
She wants to settle now. She wants to line up all assets and all liabilities and go with a 50/50 split, no alimony, no child support. I am fine with that.

She is not reporting all of the assets, so a true 50/50 split is not happening.

ETA: she has tried hiding assets before. About one and a half years ago she secured a PO Box and opened a checking account, savings account, and bank credit card without my knowledge. I learned of these accounts by accident. When I told her I knew, she promised to close the accounts...even made the promise again in a session with our marriage counselor. All three accounts are reported in the Financial Report for the court so she never closed them as per her "promise".

 
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Lutherman2112 said:
James Daulton said:
So you're basically trying to do what we all get pissed at women for doing during divorce?

Unless she's asking for alimony, let her keep her money.
Click to expand...
She wants to settle now. She wants to line up all assets and all liabilities and go with a 50/50 split, no alimony, no child support. I am fine with that.

She is not reporting all of the assets, so a true 50/50 split is not happening.

ETA: she has tried hiding assets before. About one and a half years ago she secured a PO Box and opened a checking account, savings account, and bank credit card without my knowledge. I learned of these accounts by accident. When I told her I knew, she promised to close the accounts...even made the promise again in a session with our marriage counselor. All three accounts are reported in the Financial Report for the court so she never closed them as per her "promise".
Click to expand...
Who makes more money, you or her?

 
Lutherman2112 said:
James Daulton said:
So you're basically trying to do what we all get pissed at women for doing during divorce?

Unless she's asking for alimony, let her keep her money.
Click to expand...
She wants to settle now. She wants to line up all assets and all liabilities and go with a 50/50 split, no alimony, no child support. I am fine with that.

She is not reporting all of the assets, so a true 50/50 split is not happening.

ETA: she has tried hiding assets before. About one and a half years ago she secured a PO Box and opened a checking account, savings account, and bank credit card without my knowledge. I learned of these accounts by accident. When I told her I knew, she promised to close the accounts...even made the promise again in a session with our marriage counselor. All three accounts are reported in the Financial Report for the court so she never closed them as per her "promise".
Click to expand...
Sounds like she took the "start hiding money" seriously.

 
James Daulton said:
Lutherman2112 said:
James Daulton said:
So you're basically trying to do what we all get pissed at women for doing during divorce?

Unless she's asking for alimony, let her keep her money.
Click to expand...
She wants to settle now. She wants to line up all assets and all liabilities and go with a 50/50 split, no alimony, no child support. I am fine with that.

She is not reporting all of the assets, so a true 50/50 split is not happening.

ETA: she has tried hiding assets before. About one and a half years ago she secured a PO Box and opened a checking account, savings account, and bank credit card without my knowledge. I learned of these accounts by accident. When I told her I knew, she promised to close the accounts...even made the promise again in a session with our marriage counselor. All three accounts are reported in the Financial Report for the court so she never closed them as per her "promise".
Click to expand...
Who makes more money, you or her?
Click to expand...
She does, by a long shot. I was stay at home parent with 2 kids. Currently working part time as a substitute teacher.

She makes 150K, I'm just under 20K.

 
Joe Summer said:
Your lawyer should already know the answer to this question.
Click to expand...
Meet with my lawyer Friday. She's out of town today. I emailed the law office's paralegal with my changes to financial statement and asked about the stocks.

On the financial report, under assets and stocks, I reported my holdings, hers just say "unknown".

 
This is the exact situation we'd all be complaining/#####ing about if it were a wife asking for 1/2 of everything her husband made. If she's offering to split "everything" 50/50, and she contributed the vast majority of the assets, you should be happy to get that.

You got to basically not work for who knows how many years. That's payment enough right there. No deadlines, stress, commute, ####### co-workers. Sheesh.

 
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General Malaise said:
Any chance she reads this forum?
Click to expand...
In all seriousness, I'd take this conversation offline.

If she wants to flip you something for your trouble great but I wouldn't waste my time or money on it unless it was a ridiculously low ball amount. And even then, you're not exactly in a position to fight this thing, you'll chew up any settlement you get on lawyers.

Who gets the kids?

 
Lutherman2112 said:
James Daulton said:
Lutherman2112 said:
James Daulton said:
So you're basically trying to do what we all get pissed at women for doing during divorce?

Unless she's asking for alimony, let her keep her money.
Click to expand...
She wants to settle now. She wants to line up all assets and all liabilities and go with a 50/50 split, no alimony, no child support. I am fine with that.

She is not reporting all of the assets, so a true 50/50 split is not happening.

ETA: she has tried hiding assets before. About one and a half years ago she secured a PO Box and opened a checking account, savings account, and bank credit card without my knowledge. I learned of these accounts by accident. When I told her I knew, she promised to close the accounts...even made the promise again in a session with our marriage counselor. All three accounts are reported in the Financial Report for the court so she never closed them as per her "promise".
Click to expand...
Who makes more money, you or her?
Click to expand...
She does, by a long shot. I was stay at home parent with 2 kids. Currently working part time as a substitute teacher.

She makes 150K, I'm just under 20K.
Click to expand...
Isn't this exactly the situation that alimony was designed for?

 
James Daulton said:
This is the exact situation we'd all be complaining/#####ing about if it were a wife asking for 1/2 of everything her husband made. If she's offering to split "everything" 50/50, and she contributed the vast majority of the assets, you should be happy to get that.

You got to basically not work for who knows how many years. That's payment enough right there. No deadlines, stress, commute, ####### co-workers. Sheesh.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I'm with you.

If you can get out of this with no alimony, no child support, do it amicably, and do it quick...just move on.

 
Your divorce lawyer should have a forensic accountant that he or she works with. Time to pay for that.

 
James Daulton said:
This is the exact situation we'd all be complaining/#####ing about if it were a wife asking for 1/2 of everything her husband made. If she's offering to split "everything" 50/50, and she contributed the vast majority of the assets, you should be happy to get that.

You got to basically not work for who knows how many years. That's payment enough right there. No deadlines, stress, commute, ####### co-workers. Sheesh.
Click to expand...
I don't get this line of thinking (even if it's commonly held). He likely sacrificed his career to take care of the kids.

 
Juxtatarot said:
James Daulton said:
This is the exact situation we'd all be complaining/#####ing about if it were a wife asking for 1/2 of everything her husband made. If she's offering to split "everything" 50/50, and she contributed the vast majority of the assets, you should be happy to get that.

You got to basically not work for who knows how many years. That's payment enough right there. No deadlines, stress, commute, ####### co-workers. Sheesh.
Click to expand...
I don't get this line of thinking (even if it's commonly held). He likely sacrificed his career to take care of the kids.
Click to expand...
All I'm pointing out is that we ##### and moan when women do this to us. Hence the popularity of "start hiding money." And I'll bet that he gladly agreed to stay home with the kids (just like the wives normally do). I doubt she had to coerce him. When you rely on someone else for almost all of your income/resources, there's inherent risk.

 
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beer 30 said:
General Malaise said:
Any chance she reads this forum?
Click to expand...
In all seriousness, I'd take this conversation offline.

If she wants to flip you something for your trouble great but I wouldn't waste my time or money on it unless it was a ridiculously low ball amount. And even then, you're not exactly in a position to fight this thing, you'll chew up any settlement you get on lawyers.

Who gets the kids?
Click to expand...
Yah, I'd listen to this guy. You don't want to take any chances discussing any private matters on a public board. What would your attorney do if he learned you were doing that? Can't be too careful, IMO.

 
Oh, and I don't mean to be a #### even though I know I'm coming off like one. I may well do the same exact thing were I in your shoes. It's just that this is like a bizzaro-world situation for this board.

 
Lutherman2112 said:
Joe Summer said:
Your lawyer should already know the answer to this question.
Click to expand...
Meet with my lawyer Friday. She's out of town today. I emailed the law office's paralegal with my changes to financial statement and asked about the stocks.

On the financial report, under assets and stocks, I reported my holdings, hers just say "unknown".
Click to expand...
She makes a half a million a year and doesn't know the value of her assets and stocks?

Uh huh.

 
James Daulton said:
This is the exact situation we'd all be complaining/#####ing about if it were a wife asking for 1/2 of everything her husband made. If she's offering to split "everything" 50/50, and she contributed the vast majority of the assets, you should be happy to get that.

You got to basically not work for who knows how many years. That's payment enough right there. No deadlines, stress, commute, ####### co-workers. Sheesh.
Click to expand...
LOL. Yeah, I didn't do anything...except work part time as closing manager at a restaurant for 6 years, worked on the road while her dad lived with us, earned a second BA and teacher certification, then worked 2 years with a child advocacy group. All the while (except on road) was the primary care giver.

 
Lutherman2112 said:
James Daulton said:
This is the exact situation we'd all be complaining/#####ing about if it were a wife asking for 1/2 of everything her husband made. If she's offering to split "everything" 50/50, and she contributed the vast majority of the assets, you should be happy to get that.

You got to basically not work for who knows how many years. That's payment enough right there. No deadlines, stress, commute, ####### co-workers. Sheesh.
Click to expand...
LOL. Yeah, I didn't do anything...except work part time as closing manager at a restaurant for 6 years, worked on the road while her dad lived with us, earned a second BA and teacher certification, then worked 2 years with a child advocacy group. All the while (except on road) was the primary care giver.
Click to expand...
No offense, but is that supposed to sound like a lot? Many of us worked full time, attended school in the evenings, and handled the kids in our spare time while our wives either worked or went to school.

 
James Daulton said:
Lutherman2112 said:
George Jefferson Airplane said:
Oh wait, maybe the no alimony thing is bad. Is custody gonna be 50/50?
Click to expand...
Son is in 3rd year college. Daughter is 16. Wife gets house, and our daughter wants to stay in the house until graduation.
Click to expand...
Kids that age and you still don't work full time?
Click to expand...
Yep, just a lazy ###. I was twice offered full time teaching jobs this summer in 2 different counties a few hours away. My daughter didn't want me to move.

Isub when there are openings MWF, and work as a homebound teacher on Tues and Thurs.

 
bakes said:
Lutherman2112 said:
Joe Summer said:
Your lawyer should already know the answer to this question.
Click to expand...
Meet with my lawyer Friday. She's out of town today. I emailed the law office's paralegal with my changes to financial statement and asked about the stocks.

On the financial report, under assets and stocks, I reported my holdings, hers just say "unknown".
Click to expand...
She makes a half a million a year and doesn't know the value of her assets and stocks?

Uh huh.
Click to expand...
Lutherman2112 said:
She makes 150K
Click to expand...
 
George Jefferson Airplane said:
bakes said:
Lutherman2112 said:
Joe Summer said:
Your lawyer should already know the answer to this question.
Click to expand...
Meet with my lawyer Friday. She's out of town today. I emailed the law office's paralegal with my changes to financial statement and asked about the stocks.

On the financial report, under assets and stocks, I reported my holdings, hers just say "unknown".
Click to expand...
She makes a half a million a year and doesn't know the value of her assets and stocks?

Uh huh.
Click to expand...
Lutherman2112 said:
She makes 150K
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
Uh huh. ;-) Could have swore he said 500k but too lazy to look back. :P

 
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Juxtatarot said:
James Daulton said:
This is the exact situation we'd all be complaining/#####ing about if it were a wife asking for 1/2 of everything her husband made. If she's offering to split "everything" 50/50, and she contributed the vast majority of the assets, you should be happy to get that.

You got to basically not work for who knows how many years. That's payment enough right there. No deadlines, stress, commute, ####### co-workers. Sheesh.
Click to expand...
I don't get this line of thinking (even if it's commonly held). He likely sacrificed his career to take care of the kids.
Click to expand...
This. Got certified in 2008, worked two years and got RIF'd. Worked as a sub for 1/2 year, Took the job in child advocacy organization with a two year contract. Didn't renew my contract, job wasn't for me. Now back to subbing.

 
I have received several private stock grants from past employers. A simple grant document is issued by the employer and is jointly signed by them and the employee. That is not filed with the IRS. A taxable event occurs when the grant is exercised. At that point the sale would be reported to the IRS.

It is very difficult to value a stock grant in a private company. My suggestion is that you have your lawyer subpoena her employer to provide all stock grant information. In addition, I would find out if there is any deferred comp that has not been reported to the IRS. Given her history of hiding assets that is a very real possibility. One option you could pursue is to have 1/2 of the stock grant transferred to you (and 1/2 of deferred comp, if any). Good luck.

 
gameday said:
I have received several private stock grants from past employers. A simple grant document is issued by the employer and is jointly signed by them and the employee. That is not filed with the IRS. A taxable event occurs when the grant is exercised. At that point the sale would be reported to the IRS.

It is very difficult to value a stock grant in a private company. My suggestion is that you have your lawyer subpoena her employer to provide all stock grant information. In addition, I would find out if there is any deferred comp that has not been reported to the IRS. Given her history of hiding assets that is a very real possibility. One option you could pursue is to have 1/2 of the stock grant transferred to you (and 1/2 of deferred comp, if any). Good luck.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the low down. Her first grant was issued after the company had a payroll audit and it was determined by an outside organization that my wife was not being paid fairly...stock grant issued.Other grants have been awarded as bonus. I have seen a few of the docs, but don't know the exact numbers.

Annual management meeting was in August. It was announced the company is up for sale and could close the sale as soon as January. Which I think is the main reason she wants to settle now.

 
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