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  1. 62 likes
    Hi Shuke, I want to let you know about a change I've made to my life. One I'm guessing will not be popular with some. We will no longer have the "EAT-OFF" type threads. That means the polls or the threads where the intent is basically posting pictures or videos of grown men power eating unhealthy food and guys talk about the men eating. This is not the result of any incident or drama. It's something I've thought about for a while. Well before the recent #FatShaming events. I'm not mad at anyone and nobody's in trouble. It just finally hit me today that these aren't something we should be doing to ourselves or our legacies. And it's not an issue of moderating and taking out the grotesque videos. The entire idea of the EAT-OFF is something we don't want to have. And I'm sure there will be people who don't like this change. As I've always said here, I'm not sure our way is the right way. But it's the way we're going to do it. If an FFA without the "EAT-OFF!" threads isn't an FFA you want to be part of, I fully understand. And I realize this policy is super tame (or lame depending on your perspective) compared to the rest of the internet. No argument from me. I totally get it. I don't have any say in the rest of the internet. But this is my body here and I do have say in that. Which leads me to the second part. I apologize. I stood by and abused my body for years. And the buck stops with me. I'm responsible. We're a country that does things. And sometimes people do things that are wrong. But I believe it can be just as wrong not doing something and allowing something to happen. I did that here with those EAT-OFFs and I'm sorry. Thanks for being part of Footballguys. And thanks for helping make the boards what they are. G ********** General Malaise Owner - FatBodybyBud
  2. 53 likes
    Chapter Six The aftermath and “Where Are They Now?” EG – Had to go to work drunk/hungover on Monday. Got billed $500 for the broken painting and took a month to get remuneration from Jer-Mac. Otherwise unscathed. Now posts drinking stories in the FFA. Sports a genius-level IQ and a magnificent penis that all of you would kill your own mothers to have been born with. Kev – Also had to go to work hungover on Monday. Emerged unscathed. Continues to drink absurd amounts of beer. Now 47 and lives in Hoboken, still unmarried as multiple girlfriends have gotten annoyed at his life-long pattern of choosing to get hammered with his friends over maintaining relationships with women. Destined to die a bachelor with a keg of Budweiser hooked up to him through an IV. Works for a major brokerage firm in Manhattan. Chad – Slept all day Monday. Curtailed his drinking somewhat after this event and another one shortly afterwards where he kicked a wall in a fit of drunken pique and broke his foot in 3 places, then left the party he was at and drove blind drunk and woke up the next morning in Kev's older brother's driveway. That one was a wake-up call as he didn't remember getting there and was awakened by Kev's menacing older brother pounding on his hood telling him to get the f--- out of his driveway so he could go to work. He came to and drove straight to the hospital, where they put a cast on him for 6 weeks. No longer drinks and drives and is now a successful executive with a Big Pharma company and lives in a huge house on a golf course in PA. Married to Kev’s younger sister (that courtship was fun for us) and has a 10-year old son. Jer-Mac – Haven’t seen him in years. He got married not too long after this weekend, but his wife ultimately took off because he was so annoying (she literally said these exact words to me.) He made a ton of money working nearly around the clock for almost a year after 9/11 when the NYPD was giving unlimited overtime and now owns a house in North Jersey and a cabin in Vermont. He spends a lot of time up there snowboarding and is not on social media, so I very rarely hear from him anymore. Emerged unscathed except for the phone he lost and the $500 he had to give me for breaking the painting. Beef- also emerged unscathed. Is now married with 3 kids and living in Philly, where he is a renowned surgeon and one of the leading proponents of cutting-edge technology in his field. He’s the one I see the most out of everyone from that trip as he usually flies down to FL once or twice a year to spend time with my brothers and me. We’ve now known one another for 35 years and he has been designated the honorary “4th brother” of our family. We still say “You’re the one that fell” and “F—k the Governor and f—k you!” to one another every single time we hang out together, without fail. Rose – did not emerge unscathed. He faced a judge that Monday and was arraigned on multiple charges – indecency, assault, etc. He got himself a good lawyer and got a lot of the charges dropped, but still had to pay a hefty fine and serve probation for public intoxication and criminal mischief (or something to that effect) but no jail time other than the 2 days he spent in the Baltimore City lockup. I only saw him a handful of times again in my life after this, and not since I moved to Salt Lake about a year after this weekend. He probably wouldn’t even remember my name today if you spoke it to him. He’d remember this weekend though, that I can assure you. Whereabouts unknown to me. Dan-O – aside from being down a pair of suit pants, he got through the weekend fairly intact. Some of the pictures taken that weekend while he was passed out made the rounds and he was subjected to a fair amount of ridicule for years after this. I would have given almost anything for photos from inside the women’s room stall, but no one had a camera with them. Here are a couple of photos taken while he was awake: Dan-O in his broken sunglasses, visibly plastered, while Beef chugs next to him. This was taken before noon. Dan-O, drunk already and awake after passing out while Beef catches up Dan-O at night in his “suit.” The top of this suit became his pants after he s—t the bottom of it: Dan-O on the train in his "suit." Unfortunately, Dan-O is no longer with us. A few years ago, he suffered traumatic brain injury in a skiing accident in Tahoe and passed away after spending about a week in a medically-induced coma. I miss his crazy ### every day. Faz took it on the chin for this weekend worse than anyone. If only I hadn’t jokingly suggested making that one last stop, he would have come out of it none the worse for wear. He was ultimately convicted of assaulting a police officer, resisting arrest, and obstructing justice, even though (or maybe because) several of us showed up at his trial extremely baked and carrying hand painted picket signs that said “Amnesty for Faz!” (not kidding.) He spent a little bit of time in the hoosegow as a result of that night. Not too long after this, Faz quit his job with TWIB and traveled around the country for a few years playing bars (he was a singer/guitar player) to earn beer money. One night, he was in Virginia after a gig and went to sleep and never woke up. Apparently, his body just finally gave up and quit working. Here is the Almighty Faz at my wedding, doing what he loved most, drinking beer: Faz - The Great and Powerful I miss that crazy SOB every day too. In fact, part of the reason I wanted to really dig in and write this story is so that I could spend a few hours with my old friends, both the ones I still see and the ones I never will again. Part of the reason it took so long to do so is because this is possibly the last time I’ll ever tell/write the story of this weekend. Now I feel like Richard Dreyfuss at the end of “Stand By Me.” Next time you have a drink, tip out a sip for Faz and Dan-O – they may be gone, but hopefully their spirit lives on through my keyboard. Godspeed, gentlemen. - THE END -
  3. 52 likes
    Jack Update: Followup radiation complete on lungs, pelvis and foot. CT indicates some spots in lungs that are being attributed to radiation related inflammation. Baseline MRI today before his next 4+ month chemo protocol begins next week. He will graduate HS next weekend Summa Cum Laude. Planning to attend MSU in the fall. They are being awesome about accommodating Jack and his situation by giving him is own room in a centrally located dorm with 2 HS buddies as his suite-mates. Hoping and praying it all works out for him. Headed to Dana-Farber in Boston in a couple weeks for a 2nd Opinion/clinical trial options visit. They've already indicated that his current protocol is what they would likely recommend, but want to make sure we have all our bases covered. Thanks for continued prayers... really appreciate you guys!
  4. 50 likes
    Hey @MikeIke. You probably don't really know me, since I've never ventured much into the FFA. Joe linked me to this thread, though, and I wanted to come by and offer my perspective, too. When I was 13 and my brother was 15, my mom used to get her nails professionally done. Mostly because my mom is a hyper-sociable person, and professional nail appointments are professional chat appointments. (You gotta do something while the lacquer dries, right?) Her favorite nail tech at the time, we'll call her "Sharon", was around 26 and had a 12-year-old daughter, we'll call her "Mary". Sharon kept telling my mom about how she just couldn't handle Mary, she was doing the best she could but she was a single mother who had dropped out of high school, she didn't have any money, she didn't have any career prospects, she didn't have any parental role models, and she just didn't know what to do. So my mom and dad-- amazing, awe-inspiring people that they are-- took in Mary and raised her as their own. It was really weird, and hard. That part about how your kids would probably wind up fooling around with Padme? Well, my brother and Mary had already had several hot-and-heavy makeout sessions (they didn't realize she was going to become our "sister" at the time), and I had a huge crush on her for like the first year she lived with us. (I was 13. She was hot.) Eventually, things got to the point where the very thought of fooling around with Mary became super-weird. And I was really, really, really glad by that point that I *hadn't* fooled around with her. Because suuuuuuuuuuper-weird. But had there been an opportunity before we reached that point, oh hell yeah, it'd have happened. Throwing a pair of non-Westermarcked mixed-gender kids in the middle of puberty together under the same roof is dangerous. Take precautions. The early going with Mary living with us was really rough. I'm not going to compare it to what you're going through, but she rebelled early and hard. She'd basically been raising herself for a few years and she chafed at any restrictions whatsoever. She repeatedly stole money from everyone in the house and lied about it. She frequently disappeared without warning, sometimes overnight. She lied, played one family member against another, etc. Basically just causing chaos however she could. As others have opined, this was because of her life experience. Kids are phenomenally good at learning. That's their whole reason for existence, really. And what Mary had learned was that when things got tough, people got rid of her. After seeing how easily that lesson sank in on her second family with Mary, I shudder to think how well Padme has internalized it by her fifth family. Anyway, Mary figured sooner or later we were going to abandon her, so unconsciously she wouldn't allow herself to get close to us. She kept trying to push us away, to make us abandon her and prove her right. That was basically life for us for a year. And after about a year of it, she realized that we weren't going anywhere and gave it up. There was never any formal cessation of hostilities or anything, she just wound down. Actually, "wound down" gives the wrong impression. Things got much, much worse... and then they sort of stopped. And after that, things were pretty good. There was drama, but mostly of the "she's a 13-year-old girl" variety. If I had to hazard a guess based on the (very, very) limited information I have, I'd hypothesize that Padme's behavior best fits this model. It explains why she's so loving to her sister: her sister is the one person she can count on not to abandon her, who doesn't demand anything of her or judge her. It also means if you give up on her, it just "proves" to her that her mental model is correct, and everyone really *will* abandon her when things get hard. Which is a really ####ty situation for you to find yourself in, essentially held emotional hostage to this girl's needs. If I'm right, if there's no underlying mental disorder, then this is not exactly good news. Mental disorders are, in many ways, preferable. (Coming from someone with major family history of mental disorders ranging from depression to bipolar to dissociative identity disorder, borderline personality, you name it.) Once there's a diagnosis, there's usually some sort of plan of action. Things are hard, but the path is basically known. Defense mechanisms don't lend themselves to a plan of action. Basically, the "plan of action" is "put up with as much #### as you humanly can". With no idea whether "as much #### as you humanly can" is as much #### as she's prepared to dish out. With no guidance on when the #### will eventually end, or even if it ever will. She might be irreparably broken, (think: your interaction with her biological father). She might be repairable but beyond your ability. You're a good man, but good intentions are a poor substitute for expertise, and your obligations will always be potential stumbling blocks. We were able to weather Mary's ####. But it easily could have gone differently. Had she brought hard drugs into our house, or introduced my brother or I to them, that probably would have been a red line. Had my brother and I started hanging out with acquaintances of hers with gang affiliations, that would, too. Had she exacerbated my family's existing mental conditions in a dangerous way, the health and safety of my family would have taken precedence over her rehabilitation. We were incredibly lucky that she never crossed any lines that there was no coming back from. I offer no judgment for anyone in a situation where those lines *are* crossed. One final coda. You might think my family is a success story, and in many ways we were. But also, in many ways, we weren't. Mary remained close with Sharon. Sharon was her mother. Closer, in fact; now that Sharon was freed from the obligations of parenthood, she was free to be Mary's best friend. They shared clothes, went shopping together, gossipped about boys. Sharon gabbed about the single lifestyle she was finally able to lead, and Mary considered it so glamorous and enviable. My dad got a promotion that required us to move out of state. We discussed it with Mary and told her how much we wanted her to come with. She wanted to come, too. We had a house built and Mary would get a bedroom with her very own bathroom for the first time in her life. We promised to fly her back for holidays and summers so she could still see her mom plenty. Everyone was excited. Except for Sharon, who decided that having a daughter was actually so much fun (now that she didn't have to do anything) and who didn't want to lose her bestie. Sharon waged a covert war for Mary's affections, persuading Mary to choose her instead of us. My parents refused to play dirty, because who wants to try to convince a kid not to love and trust her mother? Sharon eventually won, convincing Mary that life with her would be a non-stop slumber party. We moved. Mary stayed. A while later, we found out that Mary had gone to visit extended family in California, and when she'd returned, Sharon had moved without telling her where. Mary crashed on friends' couches until eventually they kicked her out. Then she moved in with her boyfriend, who was 4 or 5 years older. She dropped out of high school, moved to California, and had kids really young. We lost touch, and I have no idea where she is today or what she's up to. You could say that all of our time and effort was for nothing, but that's not really true. I mean, Mary still had us in her life for two years, and they were good years. My family learned a lot about sacrifice, and love, and also about how some problems don't really have solutions, but that doesn't mean they aren't worth trying to solve anyway. Because of this amazing thing my parents did, I know a lot more today about the meaning and shape of selflessness. They set an example for me to strive to live up to. I have two little boys, age 5 and 1. Knowing what I know, would I take in a Mary of my own? Certainly not now. I don't have the energy or resources to commit to that kind of project right now. A decade from now? Who knows. Honestly, I'd probably be more likely to donate a kidney anonymously. Organ donation is quick and easy by comparison. It has a clearly-defined beginning, middle, and end-point. But maybe. As you're seeing, there's a lot of bad that can (and inevitably will) arise from that choice. But sometimes there's a lot of good, too. Sometimes the good manages to outweigh the bad. And sometimes it doesn't, but at least you can go to bed at night and tell yourself that just because a problem doesn't have a solution doesn't mean you didn't try to solve it, anyway, and there's value in that, too.
  5. 48 likes
    Update: Creepy dude has a terminated membership now, and can never join another YMCA again. Administration was very thorough and forthright. Now I will be contacting the Y legal department to determine if I need to have this documented via the police, or if they have already done so. Chalk one up for the good guys. Later creep.
  6. 47 likes
    I agree with most of this, and especially the bold (and would add that women do the exact same thing). I looked at these threads sometimes, might have even voted (though don't remember doing so). Like someone mentioned, it was kind of interesting to see if your opinion was similar to others', and for me there was probably an added "hey, what do guys really like?" element of curiosity. I was never offended by their existence - except for the ones from the guy who never spelled "who's" correctly - but I would cringe at some of the comments. For the most part, I think they were a nice diversion for people from some of the heavier topics, and a way to have that "guys sitting around the bar" feel described above. As an aside, I found the "women over 50" thread a very positive and encouraging one - not objectification so much as "Wow, look at how amazing these women are." The "oddly attractive" thread had a similar feel and was actually the opposite of physical objectification. It's a shame for those to be swept up in this attempt at...well, whatever it's an attempt at.
  7. 42 likes
    This is the crux of it. Every time the rules have changed, we've changed with them, even if it was with some apprehension. This is probably the tamest adult board on the internet, but we've stayed because it's important to us. And after a day of reflection, I get it. I understand why the who's hottest threads, albeit a lot of fun, can be interpreted as demeaning/degrading. Especially with some of the recent ones where the girls looked borderline underage. But some of these other threads about discussing women that look good at 50? I don't see the harm. Remember the outrage when Joe changed the title of "Best Hooters" to "Beautiful Women"? We adjusted and moved on, even though it destroyed a great thread. But this? This is totally different. Making a mandate that you can't discuss women? It seems crazy. Why do I care about this? I don't know. It seems childish. But maybe subconsciously (or even consciously?) I interpret it as a threat to my way of life. I'm not embarrassed to say this board has been a huge part of my life the past 20 years. You know what I did last weekend? I went to the Kentucky Derby with 3 other guys from this board, that I only know THROUGH THIS BOARD. And two of them got on a plane to be here. That probably would seem weird or crazy to a lot of people. But to me it just seems normal. I'm still here, because I'm an addict and an attention whore (keep those likes coming). But if you would have asked me a week ago, I would have said I'd be here until the day I day. Now, I don't know. I can't even talk about women?
  8. 41 likes
    @General Malaise I'd whip your ### in this.
  9. 41 likes
  10. 39 likes
    I'm not proud of it, but I cheated on my wife. We were playing Monopoly, and I was the banker. First off, I'm always the racecar. Always. She picked the dog and my youngest kid picked the racecar. I was stuck with the thimble. They basically made me do it. I paid myself $400 every time I passed Go. The Free Parking money? That was all mine. I won, but the shame sticks with me, like owning those cheapass Baltic and Mediterranean properties.
  11. 38 likes
    4 to 6 weeks a year and they live that far away. She is insane and unreasonable. If she wants to go that often fine, but no way should she expect that from you.
  12. 37 likes
    Girl breaks my heart, I’m not giving her the chance to do it again, because odds are, she will.
  13. 37 likes
  14. 34 likes
    Wait, you want to invite adults to sit through a kid's birthday party and NOT provide them booze? If so, don't invite the parents. Just baby sit their kids for the afternoon.
  15. 33 likes
    first of all, are you a cop? you have to tell me if you are or it's entrapment.
  16. 33 likes
    I went to pick up my 15 y/o son and his buddy from lax practice on Saturday. When practice was over my son hustled off the field and got in the car but the other kid was dicking around on the field for five minutes or so while we waited for him. I asked my son what Brendan was doing, he said I don't know but when he gets to the car pretend you're pissed. So we quickly hatched a story that I was already late getting home to drive my daughter to her lacrosse game, and this 5 minutes spent waiting for Brendan was a huge deal. FYI, Brendan is a ball buster, the kid who rode me mercilessly for months when he believed the story that I used to be a cheerleader at BC. To kick things off, as he was finally walking toward the car, I laid on the horn which prompted him to start jogging. Then as soon as he got into the car and closed the door I didn't say a word, but absolutely gunned it out of the parking lot. Awkward silence. Then my son says "Brendan...what took you so long?" and he answered in a very nervous tone "I was helping pick up the balls." Then my phone rings, and I see that it's my son, and he shoots me a glance. I answered and proceeded to have a phony phone conversation with my daughter, apologizing for being late, telling her to calm down and that if the coach tries to bench her for being late I'll talk to him..."stop crying sweetheart, I'll be right home." I can see my son in the passenger seat out of the corner of my eye convulsing trying not to laugh, and in the rearview mirror Brendan in the back seat staring aimlessly out the window, wishing he was anywhere else but stuck in the car with me. Mostly uncomfortable silence for the rest of the 10 minute ride, interspersed with my son asking me questions about how upset his sister was, how late I'm going to be, me slapping the steering wheel in frustration, etc. Finally dropped him off, didn't say a word, and gunned it out of his driveway. My son texted him a few minutes later to tell him it was a ruse, "tell your dad he's an ###hole" was his response. It was some solid, spontaneous father/son shtick.
  17. 32 likes
    Got to thinking about my Grandpa tonight, who was a captain in the Navy and a pilot. He was piloting one of the torpedo bombers responsible for sinking the Yamato battleship, which effectively ended WWII. Anyway, he was my hero, and was thinking about these two stories tonight: 1. He passed away several years ago. At this funeral, people came from far and wide to mourn him and celebrate his life. There was one veteran, a man in his late 80's or early 90's. He had traveled from the east coast to farm country in western Illinois to pay his respects. This man went to as many people as he could, describing how he felt about my grandfather. As I recall, my grandfather was a squadron leader, and was notorious for bringing "his boys" home safely from all the missions he flew. This man said, over and over: "I owe my life to Jack. He brought me home on a day where I knew we were going down. I will never forget him." He was on the verge of tears all day, because that man was HIS hero. And ours of course. 2. My grandmother raised 4 kids basically on her own. So she moved constantly to wherever the Navy stationed my grandfather. Back in WWII, they lived in base housing, so of course it was an every day occurrence that the Navy car would come into the neighborhood to deliver the terrible news to one of the wives and children waiting for their soldier. My grandmother organized a group of moms at each base, and she told the Navy that if you had those letters to deliver, bring them to me so we (her and the other moms) could deliver the news. That way the women who lost their husbands wouldn't have to see that car driving in their neighborhood. That way these women could deliver the news as only a support group could. She described to me a lot - A LOT - of hard days during that time. But her crew delivered the news with support and compassion.
  18. 30 likes
  19. 30 likes
    I cannot hear a Taco Bell reference without thinking of my own Taco Bell eating competition entry. It was at a Saint Paul Saints minor league baseball game several years ago. I was asked on my way into the stadium if I wanted to take part in a taco eating competition on the field between innings. I figured it would save me some money on consessions since I would be eating a bunch of food, so I jumped at the chance. At the appointed time, I found my way down to the meeting spot, and waited for them to bring us onto the field. I didn't really chat with the two other contestants, but based on their size I thought I was in trouble. They brought us out and sat us in chairs at a folding table, and put a pile of tacos in front of each of us. I'm guessing we each at 10 in front of us, and they had bags more at the ready to distribute if we got through our first batch. I was feeling a little intimidated, as that was a lot of tacos, and I didn't know how much time we had. They started reading the rules, and I found out I had a mere 2 minutes to eat the tacos. Doing some quick math, I figured I had roughly 10 seconds per taco to finish the pile in the two minutes. I had been eating Taco Bell regularly since high school, so I knew a softshell if I wasn't in a rush was only 3 bites (four if they were nice and full). I figured this was a race, so I was going to have to try to do it in two bites per taco. They shout go and I shove the first taco in my mouth, biting it right in the middle to start the first half. I start chewing and realize that much food does not get chewed up as fast when you are loaded up like a chipmonk, so I chew and grind and try to get some swallowed down as I go. Now, I've watched the 4th of July hot dog eating competition to know the pros shove some more in before they get everything swallowed so I figure that will work for me. With half a mouthful still unchewed, I shove the other half into my mouth. I now have 3/4 of a taco in my mouth, and can't really chew any of it. It is at this point I look to my competition. The woman, who reminded me of Large Marge from the Pee Wee Herman movie was nibbling at her taco like it was tea and crumpets. Looking at me, hunched over my pile of tacos Guy Fierri style, she simply states "I don't really like tacos, I'm just here to be on the field." She doesn't have any empty wrappers, so I know she's on her first one. I write her off as competition. I turn to the guy, who is younger than me, probably mid 20s, and looks like he could have played O line at a DIII school. I'm sure this guy swallows tacos whole, but he's on his first one too. "I ate a lot when I got to the ballpark, so I'm not really hungry." He says this is a condesincing tone, looking at me pitifully. It seems he is saying it so I can ease up and just cruise to an easy victory. I am insulted by his tone, and want to earn this victory. Unfortunately, with a mouth full of food, some of it not entirely inside of my mouth, I get hit by a fit of coughing. Cheese, lettuce, and imitation beef product start spraying out of my mouth. I of course don't want to cough all over these good people so I try to cough down in front of me as best I can. Of course down in front of me is the next taco I am about to eat. I know at some point they had announced how much time was left, but between trying to stop my coughing, and looking at my next taco covered in half chewed, well, tacos, I don't know what they said. I know I had to put a little distance between me and the guy so I shove another half taco in my mouth and start chewing (some of it for the second time). Shortly after I do that, they call time. Competition over, and I WON! Yes, I won by consuming a whole 1 1/2 tacos. Oh, the pride I felt swelling inside of me. Whoops, false alarm, it was not pride it was another coughing fit. I pick up my empty wrapper to cough in to as the cute little between inning chica announces me as victor and hands me my certificate worth a WHOLE YEARS WORTH OF TACOS!!! Oh joy, I think, I will be eating Taco Bell so often I might even get sick of it! Oh, the irony since I could never get sick of Taco Bell! Afterwards, I clean myself up and make my way back to the people I came to the game with. I proudly pull out my certificate and look at it closer. The "years supply of tacos" amounted to 12 free tacos. Yes, a years supply amounted to one taco a month.
  20. 30 likes
    No, but I can see how it would seem that way if you didn't know anything about any of the issues.
  21. 30 likes
    Oh, calm down, it's just locker room talk.
  22. 29 likes
    So, Padme has been home for 4 days now. Things have been OK - not great, but not terrible. Padme does not to me seem suicidal, in fact she's rather insulted that we've locked away all the medication and knives. She claims she's not a danger to herself or others. I believe her. However, before this all happened I didn't think she was a danger to herself and I've been proven wrong by her actions. So what I think may not mean much, and we'll keep the knives and medication locked up as the hospital prescribed. They suggested 3 weeks of constant supervision and all medicine, knives, ropes, cords, etc on lock down. She's basically on suicide watch in my home. I bought several new locks for my cabinets and now anything sharp or medicinal is locked away. It's REALLY annoying when I am cooking dinner and need scissors or a knife. I don't think she's a suicide risk. I think she did what she did earlier not recognizing the consequences. I think that my and my wife's reaction has shown her that we DO take her seriously and our subsequent actions proved to her that we're not going to abandon her. Her school does not want her back next year. She's been a behavioral problem all year, my wife works in the school and is embarrassed to call Padme her 'daughter.' So for next year we're going to send her back to neighborhood public school. I'm not happy about that because it's a crap school, but Padme is happy because she has friends there. My wife is happy because Padme won't be at her school causing trouble. So, this is my update for today. Nothing earth-shattering - just slow progress. I don't know how things will end up. I just know what things are at this moment. Thank you, FFA, for serving as my sounding board.
  23. 29 likes
    Footballguys: don’t objectify women and whatever you do don’t hire them.
  24. 28 likes
    Yeah actually I’m with McDonalds corporate. If you could give me the store #, or even general area, I’d like to investigate. We “only” had 71 stores with sustained cpu failure last night, so anywhere close should narrow it down. We can get the manager to check the tapes and get this rectified. It’s store policy for a reason. It starts with a few bucks, then we get comped food in exchange for a tip, then a month later it’s sexual favors for McNuggets. The slope is slippery and the road is littered with empty packets of barbecue and special sauce. AlsoJ/K
  25. 28 likes
    As for us, tomorrow Padme is coming home. She seems to have taken reasonably well to the counseling they've been providing all week. The counselors feel she is not an immediate threat to herself or anyone else so she's ready for discharge. We're not giving up. I agree with everyone who has posted that's she's trying to push us in that direction in order to see what we do. I really don't want to confirm her suspicion. I guess tomorrow begins the next chapter of our story. I hope it has a happy ending.
  26. 28 likes
    I would never cheat on my amazing, incredibly beautiful, smart wife who sometimes reads this board
  27. 28 likes
    Thanks for all the thropwas everybody. I'm doing alright, hanging out with family and friends, tipping back cold ones, grilling and enjoying 80 degree weather. Despite being a little sad, I'm relieved my mom is no longer suffering and that the near daily (sometimes multiple times per day) trips to the hospital are over. My dad gets a break now; he was her primary caregiver for the last couple of years and it got really hard towards the last 6 months. He can relax now, even if the love of his life is gone. Married 48 years. Not bad! It was nice to be there by her side the day she passed. Never experienced that but it was important to be there and hold her as she moved on to greener pastures. My dad had her head, my wife and sister had her hands, I rubbed her feet and talked to her as she died. I joked later that there just isn't enough of me to cling on to for all my kids and other loved ones when I go, but I figure if I didn't, you guys would. Hope you all have a great Mother's Day today with your special ladies and thanks again for all the kind words and thoughts. Also, @kevzilla, if you aren't going to show off your majestic hair in a shot video in Vegas, can you at least go out and buy a Sigfried and Roy wig to fake magical hair for the rest of us? Expectations and all that....
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    When your kids get old enough and they stay in the car by themselves while you run in the store or something, hit the car alarm on your keychain when you get near the store. The first time I did it to my boys they completely panicked. The second and third time, they just ignored it. When my boys were 6ish and 4ish they set up a “trap”. A box, with a stick and a string. They got bored and left it “set” and when I got home from work I noticed it out in the yard. I got one of their more realistic stuffed animals and put it under the box and lowered it down. At supper, I looked out the window and said, “what’s the box in the yard for?” Wife said, “the boys were trying to trap a bunny” I replied, “huh, the box is down.” Both of my boys eyes popped up and looked at me. I said, “I think you got something boys, let’s go check it out” Neither of them wanted to check but I finally got the older one to peak under the box while I lifted it. When he saw the fur, he freaked! I did the whole reach under the box and act like the animal was attacking my hand and then threw the animal at them. They are 21 and 19 now and they are still a little salty over that one.
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    Blows out.. Had a huge health scare here over the last few months. Spoiler: It turned out the best way possible. Oldest kid had a lump in his thigh. Upper thigh, outside side. Probably the size of a marble a year ago. Regular doctor said cyst. Then it got bigger. Like racquetball size but squished. Had a needle biopsy that said “lipoma” no big deal. But regular doc sent him to another Doc for 2nd opinion. Had MRI. This guy sent him to a local specialist. Local specialist checked it out and set us up with one of the best docs in the country that deal with tumors in the muscles/bones (not going to look up the technical term) at USC. Soooo...went to USC to have Stud Doc take a look at MRI. He didn’t like the looks of it despite needle biopsy result. Could be lipo sarcoma. Not life threatening for a 25 year old without any other negative signs. But would require a “cancer surgery” with margins and all that ####. Possibly even radiation..maybe chemo. We (son) elected to have an incision biopsy. Did that 9 days ago. Got results and met with USC doc yesterday. Benign. Thanks the gods..the old and the new. Turns out it was just a big ### lipoma after all. Son will still have it removed in about 2 weeks. Surgery is pretty much outpatient but still not fun. Not to get to philosophical before the cocktail hour (or during, or after) but my son is one of the nicest people I know. No idea how that happened. SOB thanked us after every trip down to USC and for ever meal there and back. Always kept his usual good humor (“If I have to have chemo none of you buttholes better not shave your heads”). Oh and if any of you see it pop up on Facebook, follow or like the goofy vid/pod cast thing he helps produce (rhymes with pan noodle). He works his butt off off the clock to keep it going.
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    Yes. Thank you. Now you're just being ridiculous for consistency's sake. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH FINDING A WOMAN ATTRACTIVE.
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    "General Discussions Of Things Joe Could Talk To His Nana About"?
  32. 27 likes
    Probably should change the name of the forum from Free For All.
  33. 27 likes
    Give the kid a high five and tell grandma to kiss your ###
  34. 26 likes
    In this thread, we are going to attempt to understand how the Obama Deep State worked with the DoJ, FBI, DNC, NSA, foreign governments, US and foreign press, to take down Trump. This will be a work in progress. I will update and edit this post as more information becomes available (i.e. to keep the story straight). ============== Cast: Red team: DJT: our stories hero Paul Manafort: DJT's campaign manager. Originally hired to help secure delegate votes at the convention, as he had done this once before (36 years ago). Also, long history of working with Russian puppets, mostly in Ukraine. Michael Cohen: Trumps long time personal lawyer Fox News: Fair and Balanced. Jeff Sessions. probably not an elf. Mike Pence: doesn't like gays. Carter Page: Foreign Policy extraordinaire., especially anything to do with Russia. George Papadopoulos: another foreign Policy extraordinaire. Not the same Papadopoulos as Webster. Originally on Ben Carsons team. Sam Clovis - description TBD Steve Bannon - description TBD Don Trump Jr. Presidents son, obviously. Blue Team: Barrack Obama: former POTUS. Hero of the Main Steam Media, Still head of the Deep State. Jim Comey: really tall director of FBI. Despite being a life-long republican, Comey is a Deep State. Appointed by GWB to be AG, SDNY and deputy AG. turned Deep State when appointed by Obama to head the FBI. Bob Mueller. appointed by Ron Reagan to be US attorney, GHWB to be US assistant AG, GWB to be deputy AG, and head of FBI. Was never appointed by a democrat to do anything so it's not clear when he turned Deep State. CNN/MSNBC/NY Times/Washington Post: Totally Fake Main Steam Media (MSM) Hillary Clinton: probably the devil. James Clapper - a perjurer and war criminal. Also, named director of defense intelligence agency by GHWB, director of National Geospatial intelligence agency by GWB. Turned Deep State when named undersecretary of defense for intelligence and then DNI by Obama. John Podesta - description TBD Alexander Downer: Australian diplomat and probably a Clinton Foundation donor. fusion GPS: law firm hired by HRC to dig up dirt on DJT. John Brennan: named director of national counterterrorism center by GWB. turned Deep State when named homeland Security Advisor and director of CIA by Obama. Peter Strzok and Lisa Page: Deep State FBI plants and immoral adulterers who steered the Mueller Investigation towards a baseless anti-Trump direction, and whose snarky texts exposed the entire witch hunt for what it is. Loretta Lynch: Obama's attorney General. Involved with Hillary e-mail scandal (not DNC hacked one, the other email scandal). Stefan Halper: Foreign policy scholar, CIA insider. Long history with Bushes. Ran spying operation for Ron Reagan campaign in 1980. Others - Allegiance unknown: Joseph Mifsud - Maltese professor with connections to Putin. May be the FBI's mole. Cozy Bear/Fancy Bear: allegedly Russian State hackers but maybe not. Vladimir Putin - leader of Russia. doing a tremendous job. You can tell by how often he is re-elected, by large margins, in totally legitimate elections. Julian Assange - WikiLeaks guy. Holed up in an Ecuadorian embassy, hiding from extradition. Cambridge Analytica: Rob Goldstone - Russian music agent. ties to Trump from Ms Universe pagents. Natalia Veselnitskaya - Russian Agent Christopher Steele: may or may not be James Bond. He probably can't say either way. Hired by Fusion GPS. John McCain: American Hero. Anthony Weiner - description TBD =============== timeline: (much better timeline than mine here) 2015: Natalia Veselnitskaya first granted special entry visa at the request of Loretta Lynches justice department. ?/2015:DNC hacked by "Cozy Bear". 6/2015: Trump announces election bid. 9/16/2015: Strzok calls Trump and Sanders Idiots. 10/2015: Conservative media company hires Fusion GPS to conduct opposition research on DJT. 2/2016: Veselnitskaya again granted special entry visa at the request of Loretta Lynches justice department. 3/4/2016: Strzok and Page debate if trump or Cruz would be worse. Also, "God, Hillary should win 100,000,000 – 0" 3/14/2016: Mifsud first meets Papadopoulos. 3/21/2016: Trump formally names Papadopoulos and Page to his foreign policy team. Loretta Lynch/Andy McCabe/James Comey take note, informal start to Trump investigation. 4/2016: DNC hacked by "Fancy Bear" 4/2016: Clinton Campaign hires Fusion GPS for opposition research. 4/26/2016: Mifsud tells Papadopoulos that Putin has dirt on Hillary in the form of thousands of emails. 5/4/2016: Trump becomes presumptive nominee. 5/2016: Cozy Bear and Fancy Bear expelled from DNC server, ending hacking operation. 5/2016: Papadopoulos tells Downer about emails in a London bar. 6/2016: fusion GPS hires Steele. 6/9/2016: DJT Jr meets with Goldstone and Veselnitskaya Re: Magitnisky act and dirt on Hillary. 6/20/2016: Trump hires Manafort to run his campaign. 7/2016: FBG Bob Magaw is so concerned with Trumps Russian connections, he starts a thread in the FFA on it. 7/8/2016: Carter Page travels to Moscow for business reasons, completely unrelated to campaign. 7/2016: Steele approached FBI, concerned that Trump was being blackmailed by Russia. 7/2016: Carter Page returns from Russia, meets with Stefan Halper, noted CIA mole. 7/19/2016: Trump secures nomination 7/22: DNC emails leaked by Wikileaks 7/26: Stefan Halper paid nearly $130k by DoD. 7/27: Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing. I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press.” 7/31: Operation Crossfire Hurricane formally begins. 7-8/2016: Downer goes to FBI, rats on Papadopoulos. Trump investigation officially starts. 9/2016: US intelligence officials investigate Carter Pages contacts with sanctioned Russian Companies. Page steps down from campaign. 9/2016: Halper meets with Papadopoulos, 9/15: Strzok texts Page: "I want to believe the path you threw out for consideration in Andy's office that there's no way Trump gets elected—but I'm afraid we can't take that risk. It's like an insurance policy in the unlikely event you die before you're 40 ... " 9/27/2016: Halper paid ~$280k by DoD 10/7/2016: "Grab 'em by the #####" 10/2016: FISC warrant issued to surveil former staffer Carter Page. 11/9/2016: Trump wins election. 11/2016: Steele's dossier completed 11/18/2016: dossier revealed to McCain 12/2016: additional memo added to dossier 12/9/2016: Dossier handed to John McCain. 1/9/2017: FBG thread disappears under suspicious circumstances. Whoknew starts another one. ============ Operating Theory (to be updated as the theory develops): 5/17/2018: Misfud, the professor linked to Putin, was also actually working with MI6. He told Papadopoulos about the hacked e-mails. (the DNC was probably hacked by the a 400 lb guy in his moms basement in New Jersey, not Russia). Misfud then arranged for Papadopoulos to travel to London and got Papadopoulos liquored up in the same bar as Downer, who he blabbed to. Downer, being a Clinton acolyte, took that info to the FBI eventually, which sparked the investigation. Stefan Halper, while working for the CIA, met with Page, Papadopoulos, - he was spying on the campaign purely for political purposes. This is, at the same time, the biggest political scandal of all time, but also meaningless because Papadopoulos and Page were basically coffee boys. The whole point of the entire operation was to mask the fact that the Deep State was spying on the Trump campaign. As a secondary objective, the operation could be used to sabotage the Trump presidency in the unlikely event that Trump won. It's especially ingenious in that the operation began well before Trump secured the nomination. The DNC hacking may have even happened before Trump announced his candidacy, but in truth, the DNC email trap would have been sprung on which ever RNC candidate won. =============== Change Log: 5/17/2018: ORIGINAL RELEASE 5/17/2018: added description for Clapper and Brennan, added Peter Strzok and Lisa Page and texts, Loretta Lynch. Misfud works with MI6, not CIA. 5/19: fleshed out Stefan Halpers involvement. Updates in blue. 5/22: added Trump naming Papadopoulos/Page, Lynch takes note, Crossffire Hurricane begins.
  35. 26 likes
    Things have changed...but let me tell you what, I started on this board when it was Old Yeller. I had a triple digit number and I was someone. Then it became this site, and missed the bus. I now have 4 numbers in my user history. I am one of the few who have never hid. Losing my kids, dating an 18 year old, my dad losing a high profile job, my brother coming back after 3 tours of Iraq & Afghanistan, banging hotter chicks than Otis....I can go on and on. That is a 20 year snapshot. So, things are changing. This is the only board I visit. This is my safe place. I lurked on the who is hottest threads. Posted once in the yoga pants thread (I think they are gross, smell, and spread bacteria,) My wife's grandma is dying and neither want to see each other. (They are weird) I can't tell people the whole story. But I can tell family..that's you guys. The board will always change, just as we do. Sad as it is, most of my emotional development has been because of this place. I love it.
  36. 26 likes
    Hi Folks, I want to let you know about a change I've made for the boards. One I'm guessing will not be popular with some. We will no longer have the "Who's Hottest" type threads. That means the polls or the threads where the intent is basically posting pictures of women and guys talk about the women. This is not the result of any incident or drama. It's something I've thought about for a while. Well before the recent #MeToo events. I'm not mad at anyone and nobody's in trouble. It just finally hit me today that these aren't something we want on the boards. And it's not an issue of moderating and taking out the offensive posts. The entire idea of the thread is something we don't want to have. And I'm sure there will be people who don't like this change. As I've always said here, I'm not sure our way is the right way. But it's the way we're going to do it. If an FFA without the "Who's Hottest?" threads isn't an FFA you want to be part of, I fully understand. And I realize this policy is super tame (or lame depending on your perspective) compared to the rest of the internet. No argument from me. I totally get it. I don't have any say in the rest of the internet. But this is my house here and I do have say in that. Which leads me to the second part. I apologize. I stood by and let the threads go on. And the buck stops with me. I'm responsible. We're a country that does things. And sometimes people do things that are wrong. But I believe it can be just as wrong not doing something and allowing something to happen. I did that here with those threads and I'm sorry. Thanks for being part of Footballguys. And thanks for helping make the boards what they are. J ********** Joe Bryant Owner - Footballguys
  37. 26 likes
    You should definitely tell your wife or have her tell your wife (probably a good idea to tell your wife ahead of time even if daughter is going to tell her). In general I think it is a bad idea for your kids to think they can work one parent to keep things from the other. It is lying by ommision.
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    Doctor prescribed marriage.
  41. 24 likes
    I know I shouldn't type this (btw, this won't be as exciting as those opening words might suggest), but I am in a very unconventional relationship. Not married, but been together over 14 years. She had a brain injury 13 years ago, and I'm now mostly a caregiver. I don't mind helping her with stuff. She's awesome most of the time. Not the same as the woman I fell madly in love with, which is a pain I'll never get over, but awesome most of the time. In addition to the numerous, though relatively mild, disabilities, she has fits of rage. They are regular, and often intense and long-lasting. Screaming, breaking everything in sight. It's hard to explain, but it's very difficult to keep from hurting herself or you. Her family all lives close by, yet they don't come around much partially because of the fits of rage. These are good, caring people. I get annoyed with that a little from time to time, but I get it. Plus they have their own busy lives. It sucks sometimes, but we manage. I lead a pretty happy life. Not what I expected, but I feel it's the right thing. She's great most of the time, but not in a conventional wife way. It's not like having a true partner. The fits of rage aren't fun, but the loneliness is the hardest part. Living with someone that you really can't discuss important things in life is difficult (hard to explain, but that's from a combination of central auditory processing issues, speech disorders, an inability to follow complex stories, and frankly, a self-centered focus, which is understandable in her situation). I have to find other outlets for what I'd consider typical adult conversation. My family lives far away, which sucks, but my work is here and I work 70 hours a week. My main outlet is friends, and obviously work because that's where I'm always at. I have some good friends, though I don't have the ability or time for a lot of things. Frankly, this board helps too. The point is I'm probably a prime candidate for an affair. I'm pretty sure I could have one and no one would blame me, even her family. Once people get to know the situation a little, they are surprised that it hasn't happened. It, of course, has crossed my mind though. Luckily, I've never had a terribly high libido, but it has crossed my mind. There are number of reasons it hasn't happened, but one is that I don't like drama. I run a business, and don't need that crap. Maybe, by some miracle, I could "get away with it" on my end, but the person on the other side would likely have attachments on their end. I don't think it'll ever happen, but I'd never say never. And I have thought that if the urge to step out ever overtook me, then a prostitute would make the most sense. Never been to one, but it seems much less messy (in the figurative sense).
  42. 24 likes
    Those particular threads aren’t my thing, but I wanted to chime in on the “oh well, find another board if you don’t like it” sentiment that took up most of the first 10 pages. One of the biggest things that differentiates this board from the rest of the Internet is the sense of community from almost 20 years talking to a surprisingly consistent group of people. I’ve probably met up with 40 of the posters here for different things. Some of us spend an amazing amount of time here and care about other people here. For me personally, Joe’s “plenty of other boards” mentality is way more frustrating than any policy change. It’s clear to me that they don’t really understand why these boards are so successful. The core posters here don’t just bail when something happens we don’t like. We’re too invested for that. We fight to make/keep the community awesome. Now, is this the place to take a stand? Not for me, but I’ll say if we lose a big core of our regulars over this and the subsequent “too bad, my house” rhetoric that is a big deal to me. It’s not as easy as you think to just recreate this somewhere else.
  43. 24 likes
    Today I finally said goodbye to Kodiak. He made it two months longer than the veterinarian expected, and most of that time he was in good spirits. He'd been pretty bad for the last few days so I made a vet appointment, knowing it would probably be his last day. When it came time to bring him to the vet this morning, I had to carry him up the stairs. His back legs just gave out. He looked at me as if to say, "Daddy, I'm done. Please make it stop." I'll miss my big galoot. Kodiak wasn't smart, but he was the most loving dog you could ever meet. Good boy.
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    I’m not a cheater and would never cheat on my wife, but it’s getting really, really hard to figure out where the lines are at this point. I get your beef with the Who’s hottest thing, but now it’s “anything that disrespects the sacrament of marriage”? At some point doesn’t this just boil down to your whims? Like, if something makes you uncomfortable or you don’t like it, it doesn’t fly? I suppose that’s fine since you own the place. But just calling a spade a spade, and want to make the point about how folks here aren’t in your head, and the lines are becoming wildly subjective. Like, crazy so. And wicked fast. What the heck brought this on??
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    Well dudes, interesting update! My wife and daughter surprised me today, told me they were a comin home 10 days early and would be here within the hour. The tumor is now so small that he wants to hold off on any more treatments and explore other options on how to proceed which could include doing nothing at all. Pretty much the best day ever.
  47. 22 likes
    Forgot to mention... Jack is being granted a trip to Italy for him and the family in August. This is from a local "make a wish" type organization... pretty cool!
  48. 22 likes
    Null vote. I respect both Yanny and Laurel as human beings and that goes way beyond any physical traits they may have.
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    That’s Breitbart. They lie. Like when Huckabee Sanders said many FBI agents had reached out saying they were glad Comey was gone, but couldn’t give one example. All of your sources are not about truth. They are about portraying a slanted narrative based on deceit. Your inability to filter truth is startling. Flynn was operating in the open as a foreign agent and pled guilty. The mental gymnastics you’re doing are insane.
  50. 21 likes
    Not sure why some people refuse to follow the rules.