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Showing content with the highest reputation on 08/24/2016 in all areas

  1. 46 points
    Trash day. Tell her you really admire her cans and ask if it would okay if you could look at them when you take your junk out next week.
  2. 10 points
    Set up a play date with the children, then you can talk to her all you want.
  3. 6 points
    If you do this, make sure you're quoted as laughing at the cleaning the gutters idea.
  4. 6 points
    Just ask her and her kids over for some dogs and burgers. Too much thinking about this.
  5. 5 points
    I don't know. I do know Big Bottom and Ham have done it with aplomb. I don't know that I would be able to do that with the same dignity and grace. I found out through FB before finding out here and on his FB feed from a little while back is his son proudly holding Riley with a smile. I'm glad I was in the office alone because I lost it. I'm about to lose it again now.
  6. 5 points
  7. 5 points
    just let the pig out of the pen and see where it goes from there
  8. 4 points
    Son, we live in a world that has doors, and those doors have to be knocked on by men with guts. Who's gonna do it? You? You, General Malaise? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Jessep, and you curse Footballguys. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that Jessep's embarrassment, while tragic, probably gets men laid; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, gets men laid.
  9. 4 points
    This isn't that difficult. Steal a piece of her mail. Wait until she is home. Deliver mail saying it was mixed up with yours. :profit: *Disclaimer - if she has video surveillance wear a mask
  10. 4 points
  11. 4 points
  12. 4 points
    Ask her if she has a mirror in her pocket because you can see yourself in her pants
  13. 4 points
    When ordering food, find out what she wants then order for both of you. It’s a classy move.
  14. 4 points
  15. 4 points
    Ask her if she likes to drink, then mention how you drink alone nightly if she ever wanted to come over but it has to be without the kids because some times you get abusive when drinking.
  16. 4 points
    Tell her you enjoyed her cookies and she can bake, clean, iron, grocery shop and do your laundry any time. That should do the trick.
  17. 4 points
    Girls love attention.... Peek in her windows. Break into her car and install a tracking device. Follow her around. Show up at her work. Leave her a love note written in blood.
  18. 4 points
    I don't think Brazilians even dream of playing in Brazil.
  19. 4 points
    "My Own Teacher Paid Some Guy to Beat Me Up" is the name of my Eagles tribute band
  20. 4 points
    I see a lot of my students wearing retro/classic band t-shirts (Beatles, Stones, Ramones etc). It's been going on for so long I no long care if they know anything about the band. Today some kid was wearing a shirt with the album cover from Hotel California on it. I was tempted to ask him if he'd ever seen The Big Lebowski. I was also tempted to pay another kid to kick his ###.
  21. 3 points
    Buy her kids some driveway chalk and give it to them as a present little kids love that s***
  22. 3 points
  23. 3 points
    You really have an issue with the weather, don't you. Why wait to catch her outside? Go ring the doorbell and ask her out. I like the idea of asking her over for dinner. Or grilling a lunch outside in the rain. Have her hold the umbrella for you. But what do I know. I've got Asperger's.
  24. 3 points
    Probably too late for that. It was about a week and a half ago. And I've seen her since and thanked her again. Maybe I could strenuously thank her again?
  25. 3 points
    First of all , you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi." Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it." Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?" Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice." And five, now this is the most important, when it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.
  26. 3 points
    And don't act like she'd be doing you some big favor by ####### you. She's a middle-aged, single gal with kids. it's not like good guys are beating down her door to sweep her off her feet. If you're decent looking, have a stable job, and won't pump and dump her, you're ahead of the pack. Be smart, nice, funny, and confident.
  27. 3 points
    OMG Worst idea ever. I took it upon myself to haul a ladder over to your house and clean your gutters. If you actually do it, it's creepy and if you don't, you're a liar. Don't listen to offdee. For some reason, he thinks he's the PUA of the FFA when in reality he couldn't be farther from that. Check out the AZ Ron thread for inspiration and see if Big Steel Thrill has any specific ideas for you to have ready when you actually do have a meaningful conversation.
  28. 3 points
  29. 3 points
  30. 3 points
    Find something going on with the outside of her house that needs a MAN to fix. Hell, even just make up that something was wrong. It's raining a lot lately?.....leave her a little note that when you were taking out the trash you noticed her front gutter was filling up with gunk so took care of it for her quick. Hope you're having a great week! Short, simple and sweet. Then action is on her. Scenarios: 1) no reply or ignores = she's not interested (just let it be) 2) she writes a reply note back = she wants to just be friends (just let it be) 3) she comes by in person to say thanks = she's curiously interested and comfortable approaching you. In this scenario, then just make that your quick first date...just be charming, make her laugh, be confident, make it clear you're single but just because you haven't met the right woman for you and your kids yet and overall just enjoying a full and exciting life (make her feel like she wants to be a part of that). No mention of wanting to go out on a date or anything like that. Just leave her with a good lasting impression of you and things will start to fall in place after that. It's all about making her feel comfortable and at ease around you right now. Once that hurdle is cleared, then just gradually up the flirting until things become obvious and then smooth sailing GB.
  31. 3 points
    Wtf could he learn from Chris givens
  32. 3 points
    Be yourself. Some of the worst advice ever in the history of advice giving. Unless you happen to be incredibly entertaining.
  33. 3 points
    I'd say 8/10 - Easily the hottest on the block. Great body. Great smile. Probably trying to outkick my coverage here, but what the hell. I'll see if I can get a pic soon, but I don't want to crash this train before it even gets out of the station by looking like a creeper.
  34. 3 points
    If you can't be the hero she wants, be the hero she needs.
  35. 3 points
    They may call it a friendly but anything can happen when these old rivals get together.
  36. 3 points
    Single woman with kids, roughly the same age as yours? Come on man, this is like shooting fish in a barrell.
  37. 3 points
  38. 3 points
    Tell her you started a thread about her on a magic football board.
  39. 3 points
    FourFourTweet ‏@FourFourTweet 1h1 hour ago Aston Villa lost more league games last season than Zlatan Ibrahimović has since 2006/07.
  40. 3 points
    Invite her and the kids over for dinner, cook your best dish, something something something, then have sex with her.
  41. 3 points
    How did you end up with two kids to begin with? "Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?"
  42. 3 points
    Also, tell her instead of cookies that you prefer "pie".
  43. 3 points
  44. 3 points
    Primetime is syrupy but nbc had every. single. event. lined up on its app and showed a ton of niche sports on their other stations. They did a glorious job IMO
  45. 3 points
    He's growing up fast! 5 months old, about 9 lbs at last checkup 8 months old
  46. 3 points
    Diaz may talk like a moron but he's being smart about not fighting until Conor III. He's capable of losing to anyone the way he fights and knows he's one of the 3 biggest names in MMA at the moment. even if one of them loses in the interim their 3rd fight will be big, but a loss by either would take some of the epic luster off part III. nobody in the general public knows who guys like Alvarez are, pointless to fight those types.
  47. 3 points
    My translation
  48. 3 points
  49. 3 points