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  1. 112 points
    Had a great moment today and wanted to share. I think I've mentioned here in the past that my wife was diagnosed with MS a little over 20 years ago shortly after we were married. She's luckily been largely in remission since then but has lost some leg/muscle functionality and she struggles with balance and a few other things. Years ago she put together a bucket list of things to do while she still could. Whitewater rafting was one of them. Today we checked that off her list on the Pacuare River in Costa Rica, one of the better rivers in the world for whitewater apparently. I'm a pretty strong dude with really good balance and it was tough. Class 4 rapids. She absolutely crushed it. Never fell out and paddled harder and for longer than any of our raft companions who were all younguns. Standing on the bank afterwards I was reminded of how strong she is and just felt like sharing a happy moment.
  2. 99 points
    So I'm not sure exactly what I'm hoping for out of this thread, but here goes. Maybe somebody else has a similar story and will find this helpful. Or maybe it can just be used to promote acceptance. Some of you may have seen me mention my 16-year-old daughter Talia in the past, mostly in the Political Subforum. Most notably here in the Pete Buttigieg thread, where @Sinn Fein managed to get the architect of Pete Buttigieg's campaign to shoot a happy birthday video in an attempt to dispel the conspiracy theory that Buttigieg was just faking being gay. Anyway, in late March, the child I had previously known as Talia came out as trans to me, my ex-wife, and my younger kid. We now use male pronouns and he has taken the name Peter. This has all gone on during the pandemic so he's not out at school yet. Other than my ex wife and daughter and me, I think the only people that know are two or three of Peter's closest friends and some doctors and mental health professionals. Nothing is set in stone yet but my expectation is that Peter will start hormone replacement therapy in the next few months and will present as male for his senior year of high school. He desperately wants to start hormones as early as possible. The process of coming out at school and to grandparents and others isn't something he's looking forward to, but his hope is that he can attend college as a male, and that most people will just see him as male and he won't need to be constantly coming out to people. I'm actually not sure how colleges assign trans kids to dorms -- I assume there must be some guidance there. Ideally he would be in a dorm with male roommates, but maybe the roommates are notified in advance that he transitioned? I guess we'll figure it out. Anyway, we've had discussions here about transgender military service and transgender bathrooms and all that, but I can't remember anyone ever talking personally about a trans family member. It feels different when an issue is personal. I'm incredibly proud of my kid (for lots of reasons) and I guess I felt like sharing this info with the FBG community because I've been here so long a lot of you folks are like family. And honestly, all that transgender stuff always just seemed like an abstraction back before I had a trans kid, so I'm still in the process of learning and sorting through things myself. If you have any questions or comments, even if they feel dumb, feel free to post in here. I know there's likely to be at least a handful of hurtful posts given the subject matter but that's OK, please just let people post stuff and try not to turn this into some sort of combative thread. This can be a beautiful thread. I know this place is generally supportive and I expect the vast majority of people to have Peter's best interests at heart. He's an awesome kid and I'm hoping this thread can also be used to document his transition so I can look back some day and read how I was thinking and feeling at the time. Thanks for reading this.
  3. 81 points
    I’m now in this club. 2 nights ago I took my Lab for a 45 minute walk then went and did a 30 minute Peleton class (bike is in our house). Good sweat as usual. Felt great. Showered. Still felt great. Went down to get dinner as Mrs Smails had some roasted chicken and salad ready. Took the plate upstairs to watch the President’s Cup. All good. As soon as I sat down that all changed. Chest hurt and I started sweating profusely. Thought maybe it was just indigestion (I did burp twice) and maybe still running hot from the Peleton ride. Pain/constriction continued and I walked outside to see if I could cool off. It was cold outside and didn’t matter - still pouring sweat. Walked back in the house and told my wife we have to go to the ED now. We live 4 minutes away from the hospital so drove (usually not advisable). Walked into ED and when said chest pain they took me right away and surrounded me with the Code STEMI rapid response team. A nurse started putting patches on me for an EKG , got reading and said “####”. Knew that wasn’t good. They went so fast with one person getting a chest X-ray while another shaved my chest and groin. They wheeled me quickly to the operating room in the cath lab. Very scared look on my wife and kids (30, 27, 25) faces as I rolled by. My granddaughter was also there. My mind was racing as I prayed to be able to see them again. I was awake the whole time even though they had fentanyl and other stuff going in me. They went through my groin area to guide the balloon and insert a stent. Surgeon said all of my arteries were “pristine” and clear except one. LAD. The Widowmaker. 100% blocked. As soon as she put in the stent the pain instantly went away. Spent a day and a half in the ICU/CCU recovering. Discharged this morning and now resting at home. Supposedly the result was a “minor” heart attack even though the fatality rate can be 40-60% when the LAD is 100% blocked. Only thing that saved me was time. I went quickly after I suspected something was very wrong. Minutes to get to the hospital. Minutes to get me in for surgery. Nurses were telling me door to balloon time is critical and “time is tissue”. I’m 57. Unknown family history as my Dad had a very poor lifestyle and died of complications of diabetes at 59. Didn’t know if he had heart issues. I’m in pretty decent shape. Could lose a few but eat well, exercise 4-5 days a week, religious about getting physicals and blood work, done, etc. Cholesterol was under 200 though LDL needs to be lower. Blood pressure was great until I had sciatica a few years ago but it’s not bad and in the hospital was 120/77 most of the time. My diet isn’t always great but don’t eat fast food and a lot of nights at home are chicken and salad with veggies. Harder to eat well on the road but mostly order fish. But there are steaks etc for board dinners etc. I do enjoy food food. I do like eggs, bacon etc. Don’t ever use table salt and don’t eat a lot of frozen foods loaded with salt. Other than a lower LDL I’m not sure what I could have done to foresee this. My doctor was against artery scans. Said waste of time/money and doctors today confirmed that you could be 20% blocked today and 100% blocked tomorrow. Piece of plaque breaks off, blood forms and clots, artery closes like that. I have a stressful job leading a sales organization for a publicly traded company but honestly I think I manage stress really well. Compartmentalize it and I just do my absolute best. But maybe not as well as I think I do. Will be evaluating. Although my life will change they say I can be as good as new. Clean arteries and the one that was problematic is open with the stent. The stent is permanent and I will need to be on blood thinners and other meds, some for life. I read about this all the time. Usually somebody in their 50’s on a basketball court, in the gym, running a marathon, participating in an Ironman, whatever. They just keel over. Many don’t get a second chance. I’m so lucky and blessed to get one. Will make the most of it and will be the model patient. The outpouring of love from my family and friends has been phenomenal. I want to be around for them. I know the feeling now and won’t hesitate. I think I may have had a similar attack 2 months ago, again after riding the Peleton. Symptoms subsided after 10 minutes or so and I chalked it up to acid reflux but now I know it wasn’t. Lesson learned - if in doubt call 911 immediately. EMT’s have paddles, meds etc if needed and can buy time. Also they will have the code STEMI team ready by the time you get there. Hope none of you have this. I’m blessed and fortunate to have more days with my FBG amigos.
  4. 79 points
    Not to derail anything, but we had our baby last night! She's doing amazingly well. Due to the hospital's pandemic policies, I had to leave her right after my wife was released from recovery. I can't wait to bring her home in a few days and hold her again.
  5. 73 points
    I attempted suicide about 4 months ago now. I went through a brutal divorce. One that completely blindsided me due to her infidelity. I was in therapy and medicated for the past 2 years just to help mask a lot of pain. I retired in February at a younger age (37) with the dream of seeing the rest of the world. I had an open ended ticket booked starting in Sweden. About a week into my trip, I was ordered by the President to basically come home or face uncertain reentry into the US. So for the past 6 months, I sit here, doing nothing, in my house with no ability to socialize or volunteer or even find work again due to unemployment. It began to fester... I hit the bottle hard and began lashing out at people for no reason. Saying words that were hurtful. I'm going to tell you this next part, but I really hope you folks will not judge me for it. One night I use a slur for a gay person after struggling with some family issues. That being: my youngest brother (who is gay) is being pressured/bullied by our other brother and father about it. That younger brother recently attempted suicide also. I don't know why I used the word. I am and was extremely pro LGBTQ rights. I thought it was funny in the context? I was drunk? it's not funny and it had never come out of my mouth before. I felt so ashamed by it (it was in front of 7 close friends) I took a bottle of one of my prescriptions in hopes not to wake up the next morning out of shame. Turns out I just slept for 3 days and only was woken up when my dog knew something was seriously wrong. Anyway, I completed 30 days of inpatient care for mental health which really turned things around. I avoided alcohol completely (90 days without it), said my apologies and got back to a good spot where I feel like I've never been happier. Why am I saying this? There was a moment before this where I was also contemplating ending it in a more violent and assured way and none of my network was available to talk and I needed to talk immediately. I went to my 4th and 5th option. It got to the point where I just needed someone on the phone (I live alone). I got someone on the phone and it literally saved my life. Someone I'd never talked to before. I remember just sitting in my car for hours with a weapon, bawling and listening to George Harrison on repeat. Then I remember getting the call from the person in the knick of time. That call saved my life. I only know her through the internet. That's it, I found her Facebook and asked for 10 mins of her time and said it was an emergency. I'll never forget that call. If anyone ever feels that way, reach out to me. I don't mind being a 6th option. Thanks for reading my story and also sorry to anyone here I may have said something to that bothered them. I stand humbled and a different person.
  6. 73 points
    Hi Folks, I’m sorry to have dragged this out but I wanted to give this the attention I felt it deserved. I also value you, the people who make this board what it is. So I wanted to be respectful and thorough with a decision here. The cut to the chase version is this: The Political Forum is not shutting down today. But if it’s going to survive, things will have to change from where they’ve been. Here’s the (incredibly) long version. The Big Picture Of How The Forums Fit With Footballguys It’s important to understand how the forums fit with Footballguys. Footballguys is a business. We exist by selling access to our Premium Content covering Fantasy Football. You should buy one. The message board forums are able to exist because the Footballguys business is profitable enough to support them. Without Footballguys, the business, the forums go away. The Footballguys forums are an overall net loss to the business of Footballguys. Forums of this size are expensive to host. Especially when served at the speed people expect them. More importantly, there is significant “mental energy” cost in managing these. Our Moderators all have Footballguys work that generates revenue and contributes to the Footballguys bottom line. Selfishly, I find myself paying a high cost in mental energy with these forums. The recent issues where the vitriol seemed boiling over the top once again coupled with a poster I care about accusing me of "subjugating truth" by the way we try to be inclusive on the viewpoints we allow, plus another poster claiming I was limiting people’s ability to express disagreement pushed this over the top. I realize it’s selfish, but I put way too much heart, time and effort into a project that loses money to put up with those kinds of negatives. It was extremely personal to me, but the reality is it came to a business decision of weighing the “Costs” vs the “Benefits”. If we continue as it has been, the Costs simply outweigh the Benefits and the forum can’t survive. I owe it to the people who make a full time living from Footballguys and to the customers who’ve purchased our product to lead this company well. And if the forums become too much of a negative, they’ll go away. The Question. This raises an obvious question: If the forums are such a negative, why have them? The answer is fairly simple. I love community. It’s a big part of my real life. And it’s been a big part of my online life. I entered the world of Fantasy Football from the old usenet rec forums. If you know what I mean by that, you know what I mean. From the start of Footballguys, a message board forum was central to our company. Much of our long time staff came to us from the forums. For me, the boards are personal. I think many of you feel the same way. I love the idea of people gathering and sharing and interacting and encouraging one another. One part of that can be discussing issues. But you need to understand, the issues are secondary to the community. I don’t care much for the wonky details of politics in the PSF. I don’t care that much about reality TV in the Free For All. I care a great deal about the posters furthering their relationship and feeling more informed as they interact on the boards. So back to the “cost” and “benefit” balance, it’s not like I look at the current Political Forum and say, “Yeah, people are tools to each other and the vitriol and condescension is off the charts, but I learned so much about the impeachment details today it’s all worth it.” The “Benefits” value of the impeachment details for today is virtually nil for me. And when the “Cost” is seeing people intentionally be uncool to each other, that’s not a situation that will continue. The Goal. I want an open and inviting community where people can be cool to each other and make connections and build relationships. I want to provide a place where issues can be discussed and understanding can be furthered. Even if it’s just better understanding people who don’t think like you. The General Problem. First, the vitriol, condescension, snarkiness, and just general unexcellentness has moved off scale. There are a myriad of reasons and excuses. But what matters to me is the forum has become nearly unreadable. It's a 90-10 split between Anti and Pro Trump where the 10% is just enough to be a foil for the vast majority who use their numbers to shout down the minority. The net result is ugliness all around. There's plenty of blame for bof sidez. Coupled with the fact most of you are anonymous. This was a revelation for me this summer when I met a popular FBG here and we took a photo and later I asked about posting the picture on the forums. He was adamantly opposed to posting a picture. He enjoyed having a very bright line between his real life and his FBG life. I don’t have that luxury. Footballguys isn’t a “secret” thing for me. Everyone I know well knows this is what I do. My family and my kids and all my friends know well what I do. I had the honor of performing the wedding ceremony for some friends last week. When the conversation turned to “What do you do?” (Apparently it was clear I wasn’t a pastor or professional wedding officiator 😉 ) I easily told people I have a company called with a vibrant forum and encourage them to check it out. I do that all the time. And the reality is this forum, and how you folks conduct yourselves, is representative of me. And I’m not going to have a board where people are intentionally uncool to each other represent me. The Specific Problem - Contempt. This is important. Everyone loves to blame something else for the problem. It’s the anonymous factor. It’s Donald Trump. It’s the Media Bias. I don’t care much about any of that. The problem is how we behave. I don’t give anyone a pass because they can come up with a story to blame their actions on something else. This is on us. But here’s the specific problem I see. I’ve thought a lot about this and I feel pretty certain I’m right on this. The problem is we’ve changed the way we feel about the “other” side. We’ve moved from feeling frustration and anger towards them, to a place where we have contempt for the other side. Arthur Brooks has written a good deal about this. Here’s his article from the New York Times. Here’s my take on it. Contempt is more than anger. Contempt is anger plus disgust. Contempt is degrading the value of a person, and their opinion, to the point that they’re worthless. Or worse. Here’s an excellent article discussing contempt as the number one predictor of divorce. And note. Contempt is radically different than arguing or disagreement. Disagreement is part of community. If everyone thought the same thing, that’s not much of a forum. We NEED disagreement. But, we have to be able to disagree well. We have to be able to disagree and discuss things without devolving into contempt. From Arthur Brooks, these are some ways contempt is displayed: Cutting sarcasm towards another. Mocking another person. Sneering at another person. Hostile humor at the expense of another. Eye rolling towards the other person. All those can signal to the other person you feel they are inferior. That you may be disgusted with them. And worst of all, that you’re past the point of reasonable discussion. Brooks talks about his study of “Motive Attribution Asymmetry”. That’s the dangerous and destructive assumption that your ideology is based in love. While your opponent’s is based in hate. I think it’s absolutely the biggest problem we face on this board and it’s why our dialog has devolved to where it has. This isn’t about Trump. This is about us. From the New York Times article: "A 2014 article in The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences on “motive attribution asymmetry” — the assumption that your ideology is based in love, while your opponent’s is based in hate — suggests an answer. The researchers found that the average Republican and the average Democrat today suffer from a level of motive attribution asymmetry that is comparable with that of Palestinians and Israelis. Each side thinks it is driven by benevolence, while the other is evil and motivated by hatred — and is therefore an enemy with whom one cannot negotiate or compromise." This has been us. And if we don’t change, it’ll be the end of the forums. The Solution(s). Be Excellent To One Another From the start, I’ve tried to operate these forums with the simple idea from Bill and Ted, “Be Excellent”. I think we’re going to need to expand on that a bit. First off, and maybe the big one here in what I’ve been talking about is this: Don’t act with contempt towards others here. Not acting with contempt can mean a lot of things. Here are a few: Don’t insult or belittle others. Don’t intentionally try to make others feel “less than”. Don’t try to show your superiority to others. Don’t make cowardly passive aggressive sweeping negative generalizations to a group knowing there are specific people in that group. Don’t use cutting sarcasm towards another. Don’t mock others. Don’t verbally sneer at others. Don’t use hostile humor towards others. Don’t eye roll towards others. Don’t act condescendingly toward others. The list could go on. You know what we mean. All those would fall under not being excellent to one another. I’m going to assume you’re all smart and intelligent people and you’re not a psychopath. Meaning you know what you’re doing. Do the right thing. Seek First To Understand. Then To Be Understood. Dr. Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is one of the cornerstones of how to navigate with people. It’s outstanding. One of the most important of the 7 habits is: Seek First To Understand. Then To Be Understood. This isn’t complicated. It means a discussion is not a one way street. It's not a blog post. A discussion involves two or more people. And if you’re going to provide any value, you have to listen as much as you talk. Or likely, much more than you talk. And you can’t just listen. You have to seek to understand. I get it. It’s been said repeatedly on the forum that some people are “done with” trying to understand the “other side”. If they vote a way or if they support this person, they have zero interest in hearing anything they say. I want to say this as gently as I can. If you’re a person who is “done with” trying to understand someone who voted for or supports a particular candidate, this forum is not for you. I fully understand that’s maybe naive or pollyannish. But I make no apologies for it. It’s how we’re going to operate the boards. On the upside, trying to understand where someone’s coming from is a huge benefit to your own understanding. And this isn’t about minimizing negatives for another. Or a blind tolerance where everything is ok. It’s about furthering understanding and seeing enough value in the other person to better know them. Think about furthering discussion. This one may not be obvious to many people. But the board would benefit a good bit if people could step back a bit and try to view it more like I do. I see the board in a bigger picture view hoping for good discussion overall compared to individual threads. I see the board sort of like a game of Scrabble. Everyone on Scrabble loves to see a player put down a long word creating lots of opportunities for other players. The equivalent for our forum would be a great post or thread that opens up discussion for others to contribute. In the same way, nobody in Scrabble likes to see a dead end word. Nobody on the board likes to see a post that adds nothing. The difference of course is the forum doesn’t keep score like Scrabble. But the goal of expanding opportunities can be the same. Practically, this plays out in asking yourself as you're typing a post, “Will this help or hinder discussion?" Be Professional. If you know me, you know I complain about the loss of quality journalism. We’re now in a place where speed is more important than accuracy. And stories are spun to fit a viewpoint. You can help with this. Use Links. When you post a story, please don’t just expect people to believe your points. Very often, people will be referencing an article. Include the link. If you’re referencing something else, be clear where you’re getting the information. A regular response in posts should be "Can you please post a link?” using those exact words. With that said, use common sense. If you’re referencing an article, include the article. If you’re stating an opinion, make it clear it’s an opinion. Do NOT use “show me a link” as a way to try and bury an argument asking people for stuff that’s obvious. It’s easy to see what you’re doing there. Understand Media Bias. Get familiar and link often to the Ad Fontes Media Bias chart. It's not infallible. But it's pretty good and accepted. If you post an article from Daily Kos or Red State, understand those links carry a different weight from something from the AP. But worse is no link at all. Understand your own bias. It’s more than ok to have a viewpoint. It’s part of what makes discussion beneficial. But understand your bias. And understand the bias of others. So be as careful there as you can. Understand spin. It’s easy to compare Fox News to MSNBC and see how two organizations can spin the same story. Do better than both of those. Understand the little jabs. Everyone knows the little words that take a shot at the other side. Don’t do that. Discuss The Issue. Not The Other Poster This one is simple to see. Look at what you’ve typed. Before you press “send”, read the post and ask yourself if your words are about the issue or if they’re negative words about another poster. If they’re about another poster, don’t press send. It’s that simple. Someone brought up the Eleanor Roosevelt quote and it’s spot on: "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." And a few more specific ideas. Maurile posted these a few days ago and they’ve been helpful. I get it these may not line up exactly with mine. Footballguys is big and sometimes contradictory. If you're in doubt, don't post it. That’s pretty much it. I’m sorry this took a novel but this is important and personal to me. It's my desire this forum remain alive. But it will not stay alive unless we change significantly. And that's up to you. My worry is we've done things somewhat like this in the past and things will be cool for a few days. Then it's right back to the old way. That part is up to you. What I can say without question is if folks aren't able to keep it from getting back to the old way, it will close. Thanks for being part of Footballguys and thanks for helping us have a forum we can be proud of. Rock on.
  7. 58 points
    I debated actually putting this story up here because it reveals more about me than I probably want known. As a warning, this story probably won't be that funny. So if you're looking for humor, be forewarned. It is me being honest an vulnerable, so go a little easy. Shtick is always welcome. About two weeks ago, my idiot boss and I get into it again. I know he's been trying to set traps for me and I'd been doing a great job of navigating through the mine filed. But I slipped and replied in an email something I shouldn't have. Nothing major, but still not good. That was a Friday. The following Monday, he doesn't talk to me all day. And just as I'm about to leave, he asks me if I can come into a conference room with him. When I go in, I see there's an HR lady in the room, too. My first thought is, "Crap. I'm being fired." But then I remember that he sent me an invite to meet with him on Wednesday of that week. So I'm confident I'm just getting in trouble. The HR lady, who I do not know, pulls out papers and puts them in front of me like I'm in an interrogation room at a police station. I can see they look like phone records. He says that I was supposed to talk to people in the field and get some feedback from them. But he can see from my cell phone records that I haven't called anyone. The weird thing here, is I already have results from this and have moved this project along ahead of schedule. I look at them confused and say, "I use my personal cell." I have an iPhone and they gave me a Galaxy. I'm an old man and I don't feel like learning a new OS. So I just set everything up on my personal phone. Again, it's important to point out that I have proven results that show I've called people and moved forward on the project, but he is concerned with how I'm doing it. The HR lady than says angrily, "You used your personal cell? You're supposed to use the cellphone we gave you. That's insubordination." At this point, I can tell she is not impartial. Also, I find it hard to believe you can get in trouble for not using a work phone. I feel like you can get in trouble for using your work phone instead of your personal, but not the other way around. But I don't know for sure so I just say, "OK." He then begins to accuse me of several things that are not true, but because I messed up, he's basing everything around that one truth. I plead my case back making sure I counter all of his lies, even saying I can show proof his claims aren't true. But again, the HR lady seems to be arguing with me on points she doesn't know any facts about. It's clearly a 2 on 1 situation. Then, out of no where, she says, "Do you even like working for this company?" It was such an odd question, it literally stopped me in my tracks. As I began to speak, she cut me off and said it again. "Do you even like working here? Because I have to tell you, it doesn't seem that way to me. I've walked by your desk and said hi to you and you don't even respond back. I've never seen you walk over to our side of the building and say hi to anyone over there." She then says, "Do you have some sort of problem where you can't seem to talk to people and be friendly with them?" I was in shock. This isn't why I was in here. I wasn't in trouble for not being friendly. There was no reason for this line of questioning. I looked at her and I had to tell her something I'd never told any other employer. Hell, I've only told about a dozen people in my life (up until this post): I said, "I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was a young kid and I am on the spectrum of Autism. Meeting people and talking with them is one of the hardest things in life for me." As I said this, I heard my boss say, "Uh-oh" like he was genuinely shocked and didn't realize he made a noise. Her face changed immediately, too, and she became much nicer. The meeting ended abruptly after that and I left to go home. I was pissed, embarrassed, and sad. I told my wife and she was just pissed. I didn't sleep at all that night and I thought about calling in sick the next day. But my wife said I needed to go in and notify the head of HR what just happened. I set up a meeting with the VP of HR the next day, who I am friendly with. She was very nice to me and explained that it was all just a misunderstanding and that no one outside of those three people would ever know. Thing is, it wasn't a misunderstanding. The woman overplayed her hand and it came back on her. The VP also apologized for what happened and said that my boss was willing to work with me to better our relationship. So, in a way, things ended up working out in my favor. He's been super nice to me, but he also treats me like I'm a special ed kid. He sent me an email that said, "Don't ever be embarrassed for who you are." I was like, #####, I'm not embarrassed of who I am. I embarrassed I had to announce it to people who had no reason to question me about it. My wife is still pissed. She keeps saying I should maybe talk to a lawyer. But I don't want to talk about it with other people. I hate even talking about it here. I've already deleted this post 5 times. And I'll probably regret hitting send when I do. But whatever. I'm interested to hear what people think. On one side, there's pretty much no way I ever get let go from this job. All of my past indiscretions have essentially been wiped clean and my boss now treats me much better, even though I still don't like him. I also know they said they'd never tell anyone other than those three, but I almost feel like they have to tell some higher ups. Because I'm sure right now they don't want any bigwigs to accidentally to discipline me for whatever reason. Regardless, I feel like everyone I talk to knows, even if they don't. It's been a rough past 10 days for me.
  8. 56 points
    On a positive note, my wife gave birth to our first child this morning!! We were expecting our daughter to be born in the first week of April, which does not align very well if this hospital sees a massive inflow of patients over the next month. This is the last place I would want to be at that time. I was really dreading the timing of all of this but alas, my lil one made it easier for us and her. This hospital used to be extremely lenient with visitors but yesterday they just limited visitors to just one person per patient. Today, they are implementing mandatory face masks for everyone walking around the hospital. Very happy with both of those decisions. To add a lil more drama, my wife is a Nurse Practitioner in this very hospital. They already have at least three confirmed corona virus patients here. Last thing I want is for my wife to be this close to the potential chaos that could be. Now, she will enjoy her 4 moth maternity in isolation enjoying her new found motherhood. This baby is a god send.
  9. 53 points
    Man alive, the last 20+ months have been....interesting. I have been homeless for...awhile. 661 days Or 1 year, 9 months, 22 days Or 21 months, 22 days Right, so...a long while. Before I forget, @El Floppo - sorry, dude. You confronted me like, IDK, 18 months ago? But I was in denial and going through trauma and my head was all effed up. I should have come clean and laid it out. You’re a good man & would not have been judgmental at all. In hindsight I should have allowed you to know my story. Next lunch is on me. Anyway, how do you go from being a C-level executive making $125K to sleeping on subways? #consistenteffort No drugs, not an addict or alcoholic, love Jesus and try to be a good person. Spent $44K cash on legal fees trying to stay in my daughter’s life, didn’t want to be a burden to family or friends. Parents deceased, dad’s estate in litigation. Series of events. Mostly goes back to mental health issues from being a combat veteran. 30 years of powering through undiagnosed acute PTSD and major depression disorder. Now getting the help I needed long ago, courtesy of the VA. They broke it, they have to fix it. Not looking for a cure. Just learning how to effectively manage my mental illnesses. Speaking of subway trains, I’m about to hop on one to see my 11 year old daughter. For the first time in a year. Next couple weeks are kind of a big deal with respect to the trajectory of my life. Story here if you want to read through the updates since late September 2018. TL; DR - 10 months living on the streets of New York, 12 months at an apartment complex for homeless veterans (55 of us there.) No need to contribute, that was from a different season. (ASIDE to @Trey - was a little too triggered to answer your smart aleck Q from 16-18 months ago, but no, contributions to the destitute do not constitute income that must be declared.) Why am I posting? Because I own my narrative. Because I am grateful for every moment of my life. Because my desperation (oddly enough) is someone else’s inspiration. Because the virtual community that is Footballguys has been a chunk of my life for nearly 15 years. You’ve been a good friend, @Joe Bryant Sorry for being a coward & not inviting you to be on this journey with me. Will come back in a few hours (or days) to answer Qs. AMA
  10. 50 points
    @timschochet I'm sorry. I was wrong. And You were right. To those not in the know, back during the 2016 Presidential election, tim took issue with me because I couldn't bring myself to vote for Hillary or Trump. His argument was that one of them is going to be worse for the country than the other. I disagreed. I figured we would be no worse off with one or the other, because they would both be equally bad. After seeing how poorly the US responded to the COVID-19 crisis, I can see how wrong I was. While I still am no fan of Hillary, if Hillary were president, many, many, MANY more lives would be saved. I'm not going to get into the details of why. All I have to say is that she never would have even considered the issue to be a hoax to harm her re-election chances, let alone behaved like that was the case. And yes, I'm posting this in a state of anger of how much worse the situation is for the US than it ever had to be.
  11. 49 points
    Fine. I'll say it. Yoga pants thread. We all have to make sacrifices for the good of mankind, Joe.
  12. 47 points
    After 48 hours of traveling. Multiple flight cancellations and diversions. And a year away overseas. Our daughter has made it home safely back from Thailand.
  13. 46 points
    I guess I should have thought more seriously about a kickstarter with y'all.... I'm not too good at asking for help I guess. But.... I have a new silent partner...should become official on Monday. Going to bring BBQ full time soon. He is buying in for a % and looking for a building to buy and get us selling bbq & drinks. And he is thinking bigger than I ever really did. More to follow....phase 4 of journey has begun I guess 😳
  14. 45 points
    Peter is incredibly lucky to have you as a dad. You're smart, insightful, thoughtful, funny and understanding. I wish your son all the luck and may he encounter a world that is kind and understanding. You guys got this....
  15. 45 points
    It looks like my unemployment has been fixed? I see 5 weeks worth of money in there and it says I was paid today. I called a friend because I do not see the money in the bank yet. She told me it takes a couple of days to get there after DES pays you. So it sounds like I am on the road to getting paid. It is not the pay I am used to but it will get us through this. I thank you all for listening to my whining and for all the beautiful offers that came my way. This is a special place that I have found much comfort in. I really do not think I can say thank you enough.
  16. 44 points
  17. 44 points
    Thanks for the well wishes everyone. It makes me feel good! Some updates: -My renovation is almost done. We’re probably 2-3 weeks away. The drywall went up and got plastered yesterday. Big steps remaining are interior doors and trim, tiling, hardwoods, and painting. My builder has been awesome. My wife is getting lots of bathroom furnishings and art for Christmas -It’ll really be done just in time. I really can’t stand or walk without help anymore. I’m looking forward to one floor living -Since I’m in a wheelchair permanently, we now have a wheelchair van, which is great. I don’t go out much, but get to kids’ games every weekend, and have started going out every couple weeks to watch Celtics games with some buddies. I literally nurse a single coors light the entire time, but it’s still a blast. -It’s become too dangerous for me to be home alone, and I didn’t want to impose too much on my friends, so we’re having a home care aide come 3 days a week. He helps me with showering, dressing, bathroom, and food. Frankly it sucks to be so helpless and exposed all the time, but it saves my wife a lot of work and worry, so it’s worth it. He doesn’t have to wipe my ### yet, but that’ll be coming soon. That’ll be so emasculating, and a horrible milestone of loss of independence, but it’s inevitable if I want to keep living. Which, so far, I usually do. -Getting the home care should help my wife and I get our normal relationship back, but it’s honestly tough. I don’t want to really get into it here, but it’s been tremendously challenging to stay positive with each other. I’m just a lot of work nowadays, with not a lot of reward. -Last thing for now: the clinical trial I was in, and continue with still, is called Centaur. Last week the initial results were released, and it appears to work! People on the drug had slower progression than those on placebo. Now, there’s still reason for restraint. I don’t know if I was on drug or placebo during the active trial, though I have now been on active drug for a couple months. If I was on the drug the whole time, then it either doesn’t work for me, or I’m already getting the benefit, but still progressing steadily. If I was on placebo, then maybe the drug can slow me down more. As I’ve mentioned before, one of the worst things about this horrible disease is that I never know if I’m progressing quickly or slowly. I never know if I feel bad that day because I’m tired or because I’ve permanently lost function. And, as relates to this drug, I don’t know if it can help, or if it’s already helping all it can. Downer of an ending, I know. -Bonus positive ending because I feel bad about the previous paragraph: despite all the difficulties, I and my family still have a ton of positivity and love in our lives. Tonight we had a family dinner together and absolutely laughed our asses off. My 16 year old then went out, but the rest of us are now snuggled up and cozy, watching Arthur Christmas. This stupid disease isn’t beating us yet, and I’m pretty sure we all appreciate what we have a lot more. Happy holidays and continued love everyone -randall
  18. 43 points
    Headline says: "risk of dying" Article says: "fear significant health consequences" OP says: "liberal media" Article says: "social media" CONCLUSION: Misleading click-bait thread designed to push an agenda.
  19. 43 points
    Am CEO of a 100 person subsidiary based in a downtown metropolitan financial district. Parent company is located in a red state...leadership there is a bunch fox news watchers and last night I emailed the parent company CEO (my boss) and told him I was moving all employees into work-from-home (WFH) mode. This morning I spent 10 minutes explaining to him that "this is NOT the seasonal flu and that I was adamant about giving WFH option to all employees. He said "I understand your concern, but no reason for you to be leading this." Exasperated I said "all due respect, but there is a dearth of leadership on this at the federal level. I have responsibility for 100 people, their families, and our ongoing business and I am tired of being 1-2 weeks ahead of the rest of the country." He eventually acquiesced to my passion moreso than my argument, but whatever. Anyway, not looking for praise because I am frankly embarrassed I didn't have the fortitude to stand up for my people at this time LAST week. Still, I have all of you to thank for the hygiene regimen we started 4 weeks ago, the light social distancing we began 3 weeks ago, the international travel ban we instituted 2 weeks ago, the domestic travel ban we instituted last week, and the WFH policy we put in place today. Thank you all so much. You have given me the insight, info, and courage I needed.
  20. 40 points
    I would just like to say I am really glad matsuki is in charge of literally nothing when it comes to this virus.
  21. 39 points
    I'm an architect with specialty in residential, and primarily residential interiors (the architecture, not the furniture). and at this point, the only thing I'm worthwhile at given my seniority- I'm not a guy as senior hire who's going to get you senior level work doing offices, retail, healthcare or some other stuff/sectors. I got laid off from a new job April 1 after both of my job sites closed up, and felt like my particular residential sector was going to be in dire straights for a while. who's going to have the money after this to want to spend on what is purely luxury at this point- people will be looking at ways of cutting costs and not hiring an architect to redo your apartment or house is an easy one. hell- not redoing your apartment or house is another easy one. I was figuring it will be months before I see any want-ads for me. but yesterday *bam* three. heard back from one immediately and have a zoom interview set up for monday with the least interesting/probable paying of the three. but at this point, I'll take anything. nice psychological boost too, regardless of whether I get offered anything.
  22. 39 points
    I think I mentioned in the thread somewhere that during all this we moved to a new house. One day this week our trash men picked up our neighbors trash and some toy they had put in exploded and got these jelly balls all over the place - must have been a couple hundred of these things spread over the road, the gutters and sidewalk - I didn’t see it happen but the wife at the house who put it out did - poor lady is trying to clean this mess up when I walk outside. So, being a nice guy, new neighbor and bored out of my mind I grab a broom and clean up one side of the street. Started playing street hockey with these things and just having fun. Anyway, 30 minutes later we get it all cleaned up and go about our day. I’m laying in bed last night and our ring goes off - check the camera and it’s the lady and her daughter leaving something on the front porch. Just went out and got it and it was a 12-pack of TP with a handwritten note welcoming us to the neighborhood and a thank you for helping clean up the mess. Greatest housewarming gift ever!!!!
  23. 39 points
    My uncle in Spain tested positive with the virus a little over a week ago. He’s 75 years old with no other medical issues. He was hit with the typical symptoms. Started with fever and an unrelenting cough. He went to the hospital when he started to experience extreme shortness of breath. He went to one of the smaller hospitals in the suburbs of Madrid and has been there for a week now. He just let us know that he has recovered and now is home. What a relief!!!
  24. 38 points
    Mom tested negative. Jesus that's good to hear. Was talking about getting winded just making the bed so I'm not 100% convinced, but that's insanely good news if true. A Flu B or Stomach bug positive would ease my mind further. Hopefully this scares them enough to stop having freinds over 2-3 times a week. "But It's just our neighbors (half of which are Anti-Maskers)"... "But it's just 6..8...10 of us".....
  25. 37 points
    Got good news today. Was let go back in early February and when the ship hit the sand in March I figured we were really in trouble. Just got word that I'll be hired on as a contractor at a place I left (on good terms) 14 years ago. Most of the people I worked with are still there. Score one for not burning bridges!
  26. 37 points
  27. 37 points
    This is 100% my point of view. You are right that I expect Trump to be acquitted along partisan lines, but I think it's important that Democrats do what they can to hold Trump accountable. They're on the right side of history on this one IMO.
  28. 36 points
    Posted this on Facebook today, but wanted to post it here too... you guys helped Jack, me and my family through some rough times and it was/is truly appreciated. It was a year ago this morning that we lost our Jack. Every single day we miss his smile, his awesome sense of humor, his wit, his guitar playing, his laugh (often quiet), his smarts, his strength, and his thumbs up attitude… just everything about him. We are blessed to have so many wonderful memories, stories and photos to keep him close (and to share with whomever wants to listen). We always love hearing your memories of Jack – even when it makes us cry. Jack stories will never get old. We are grateful to all of you who touched Jack’s life and brought him joy. Thank you to everyone who supported Jack and our family during his battle and through this very difficult year. We hope those of you who read this know all you did for us. Even if you thought it was only a small gesture, please know it helped us greatly. We felt your prayers and know that many of you had family, friends and prayer groups storming heaven for Jack – we felt those too and thank you. We hope you will continue to keep Jack in your prayers.
  29. 36 points
    Partnership official! The stress release has begun. Thank you rye whiskey stash. 😁
  30. 36 points
    No kids. No plans to ever have them. Dumb idea. All of society benefits from a strong educational system. Not just those receiving the education.
  31. 35 points
    A man should be able to walk about his own property with his shirt off. Deal with it.
  32. 35 points
    So...been reluctant to even bring this up given the general trolling that goes on (hopefully better here than the PSF), but Mrs Commish was tested on Monday. Thurs/Fri last week we were outside in really nice weather doing random yard work and the like. Friday evening she started complaining about aching body etc and had a slight cough. We dismissed it as being out of shape and our allergies. Saturday and Sunday her cough got worse and her chest began to feel "heavy" in her words. She has the mildest of fevers and has been able to maintain comfort with a single 500Mg Tylenol in most instances. She's had times during the day this week where she's felt fatigued and took a nap. She never takes naps. She decided Monday morning she'd go get tested. It took her the better part of 6 hours of phone calls, filling out papers etc to get to a site to be tested. The paperwork gave a timeline of "several days" before she'd hear of her results. It's now Thursday and still nothing. Knowing that there are over a million swabs sitting, waiting to be processed it makes us both wonder what the point is. We're in a state that is supposedly focused on testing too. I can't imagine the states that aren't. I mentioned another friend of mine in NC that it took 9 days before she got her result and it was "inconclusive"...most likely because it sat to long and/or in the rush it got contaminated during processing. So, we'll all sit here (at a distance of course) waiting. This isn't fun and I get REALLY annoyed when I am out and see normal traffic flows in the area. I'm now the person who is the hunter/gatherer of necessities and I do see those that are out trying to abide by the 6 foot rule, which is good. It's not as good as staying home, but it's better than normal I guess. I've left the house once in the last 10 days to go in a store and once to get gas in the car. Prior to feeling bad my wife was the one going grocery shopping, but that's all we've done with one trip to do blood work (that's a whole other issue though). We have no idea how she would have gotten it. She's a germaphobe's germaphobe. The good news is, she seems to respond to cough suppressant medication, so it's not constant but for her it's the waiting part that's stressing her out. Hopefully we will get an answer within the week. It's tough trying to keep the 3 year old away from her. He doesn't have a clue what's going on and just wants to read books with mama. We do a lot of hand washing and a lot of wiping down counters and putting our own dishes in the dishwasher etc. This sucks....thanks for letting me air this out here.
  33. 35 points
    Quick update. After a lot of deliberation and discussion with my wife and mom I decided to fly down and drive my mom back. So I’m sitting at the airport now. It’s a ghost town. Two people at security. I bet I will have about 10 people tops on my plane. I’ve brought a face mask, hand sanitizer and Clorox wipes. I will wear the mask, wipe stuff down, and not touch anything. When I get to my mom’s I plan on going right to the shower and putting my clothes in the washer. Not an ideal solution but the best I came up with. At least it’s a direct flight and if it’s not real crowded I can get social distancing. It’s only a two and a half hour flight. Anyway when I left my wife was completely bawling. She doesn’t want me or my mom to get the virus. My mom is 70 so she is in the at risk group. I’m in my 40s and could better recover but the whole context for me is that my dad just died of a terrible lung disease. There’s no studies yet on what this virus will do if someone recovers and the long term effects on the lungs. So my wife doesn’t want me to end up going out like my dad just did someday (and frankly neither do I). So I would appreciate it if everyone here would keep sending me positive vibes and prayers to get me through these next few days. I’m sure my dad will be looking over me too....
  34. 34 points
    UPDATE: Mrs. Commish is feeling significantly better. Not coughing hardly at all any more and the fever went away on Thursday. She still has a little tightness/burning sensation (at times) in her chest, but not close to what it was. On Thursday it was like a flip of the switch for her. We STILL haven't gotten the results yet and there is NO ONE to call for an update. We still keep her relatively quarantined from the rest of us, but we've loosened it slightly. The one thing I haven't heard of those experiencing symptoms is them going away quickly which leads me even further down the path of her having something else. Hoping we are passed the worst of it. Uncertainty has been the worst part of it, but its getting better. Watching her this week and listening to talk of them "opening things back up" because the "solution can't be worse than the problem" has been maddening. In my estimation, if they open things back up any time in the next 4-6 weeks, wave two and three (we WILL have them) will be worse than what we're going through now. I can't believe that's even a consideration right now.
  35. 34 points
    I was getting pretty tired of all the individual posts about "my kid's lacrosse tournament was postponed" or whatever, but I just received word that my favorite winery's tasting room is closed because they can't accommodate social distancing. Now I understand.
  36. 33 points
    Dont get the paper, but this should do. Official FBG authentication.
  37. 33 points
    I was wrong. Early on, I posted in here that people were over reacting and made light of some things people were doing. I'd like to stand up and say I was wrong. I just didn't grasp the seriousness of this thing early on. Anyway, carry on. This thread is awesome and I appreciate the info.
  38. 32 points
    Stop with the stupidity. Some teams have short benches and some players may be available in those leagues. So if somebody is not available in your league do us all a favor and don’t tell us about it.
  39. 32 points
    I've posted very little in the thread, but when I do its mostly to try to lighten the mood. If I had something more useful, I would post it. I have been following the thread for about 10 days, and I have read every post. There seems to be a much more dramatic shift in here towards trying to win arguments and less trying to actually post useful stuff. Arguing over bottled water, death rates vs positive tests, and now its fear mongering and panic buying against posting rumor/heresy. Hasn't Joe said it enough by now? Just try to be helpful and post links if you have them. Its pretty simple. If its rumor, state so. Everything doesn't have to be a back and forth. If you don't find the information useful, then move on. I highly doubt that this small community on a message board, spread out over the entire world, is going to affect the outcome of this pandemic, but it CAN help some of us get through. Let's do that together. please. PLEASE!!
  40. 32 points
    "Hey, remember when everyone rushed to the store to buy toilet paper at the same time and it ran out before it could be restocked and everyone freaked out? Now imagine the same thing happening at your local hospital. But instead of TP, it's hospital beds and ventilators. That's why everything is cancelled. That's why you should stay home."
  41. 32 points
    :excited: Went back to school six years ago and was determined to get a good education from a state school after switching fields. Now, I was accepted into a PhD information science program in Boston and on track to graduate from undergrad in May.
  42. 32 points
    This is now making the national news and it’s pretty cool My buddy Conor passed away earlier this year very unexpectedly and left three boys. They were huge football fans and especially Lions fans. Matt and Kelly Stafford paid the boys a visit last week. Stafford also invited the boys to use his suite for the Packers game along with 7 of their friends, complete with locker room tour and boatloads of Lions swag. Pretty cool. Their reactions are priceless.
  43. 32 points
    by every chance do you have a dog? this happen to us a few years back. I was makin swedished meatballs (they is jimmy favorite) and while they was cookin he tail was waggin so fast (and rubbin against chopsticks). it make a spark and landed right in a pile of silly string (we just had a fight). next thing you know teh table was on fire. lucky for us that lubert got me a fire stingwisher for halloween. could have been real bad. maybe you son was holding up taffy over he head and you dog tail was goin crazy. i don't know but maybe kurt
  44. 32 points
    Pleasant conversation. I spoke first, explained our position. Neighbor agreed. He will be giving us a check for $4K in the next week and we can then take care of planting the trees ourselves when it's a good time to plant them. We will likely wait until the frame of his house is up so we can get a good idea of where to put them. Thanks, The Doormat
  45. 31 points
    Not sure if this has been mentioned at all since I haven’t been on here for a while, but just came across an article on msn about best hot sauces and low and behold I see one of @Hot Sauce Guy hot sauces mentioned. Congrats Hot Sauce!! For those that didn’t see it and would like to check it out here’s the link The sauce is awesome and I’d highly recommend it and I need to get some more myself!
  46. 31 points
    On Friday night our son came home to his family. We tried to give him the best welcome home celebration we could during a pandemic. My wife and daughter-in-law made shirts for a number of the immediate family. They filled the yard with signs welcoming him home. Lots of balloons and flags. He was landing at the airport at 9 pm so the yard was decorated for most of the day. I think the coolest moment of the day was when I was approached by a neighbor I had never met. I was getting something outside in my car and he came walking up on the sidewalk... "Hey! What time does Sarge get home tonight?" (We had a big welcome home Sargent _____" in the yard). I told him pretty late, wasn't landing until 9 pm. He asked if it would be ok if they came down and clapped for him when he arrived at home. I told him of course they could do that and was humbled by their request. As the night went on we had about a dozen people waiting for him in the front yards. Our family and a couple of his closet friends. As we were getting ready for him to come home from the airport with my daughter-in-law I looked up and here came another group of people across the street. All with lawn chairs and flags. It was the neighbor from around the corner and other neighbors that he talked to. My wife and I walked over to meet them. She was unable to keep the tears back. Here was this group of people we didn't know that took the time out of their Friday evening to welcome home a soldier. It was pretty awesome. With all the nonsense we have going on in this world to see this showing of appreciation meant more than any of them even could know. Our grandson didn't know his daddy was coming home. All he knew was "we were having a party!". When they finally pulled down the street we had people lined up on the street holding signs and cheering for him. When he got out of the car his son ran up to him and jumped into his arms. Daddy was home. After they had their moment his wife brought him his 11 month old daughter. He was their for 4 days when she was born, then was back on orders. We were all anxious to see what she would do. She doesn't like people she doesn't know. She will cry if someone gets to close to her she hasn't been around. He had talked to her via facetime while he was gone, but she is only 11 months old. She had no idea what any of that was. He crouched down to where mom was holding her and smiled at her. Told her "Hello beautiful". She looked at him with those unsure eyes, looked back at her mother and then let him take her and give her a big hug. I think that was when I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. At one point I found my wife and gave her a big old hug. Told her "You can finally breathe again". It was a LONG deployment for her. While I'm pretty good at ignoring the things I can't control, she is a mom and can't turn that part off in her. She held that family together while never being able to be fully whole herself. In these past 11 months the world has been pretty chaotic. Our son left to go serve in another country. We took on the role of the other parent for our grandchildren. Then we had a pandemic, riots, race issues, and absolute political nastiness everywhere. On Friday we saw the awesome side of our community and friends. Thanks for letting me share these things on here. Until you go through one of these things, it is hard to understand how difficult it really is. The appreciation I've gained for other military families is enormous. The sacrifices everyone makes to serve this country is amazing. Those of you who are military that have shown support, shared stories... Thank You for doing what the rest of us can't or aren't willing to do! Oh... And we saved the last army guy in the jar for Daddy and son to move together...
  47. 31 points
  48. 31 points
    UPDATE: My mother is home from the hospital. She ended up with a pretty mild effect overall. She had a cough, was exhausted, needed a little oxygen along the way, but has bounced back pretty well. Unfortunately, they haven't been able to address her other health issue (dizziness and low blood counts), and tell us we need to let the virus run its course so they can analyze her data without the interference from the viral effects. So, more to come, but the good news is that she seemed to kick COVID's ###.
  49. 31 points
    Passing on my $2400 to my brother. He and his wife both laid off, but I am still fully employed.
  50. 31 points
    Thank you!!! I’m feeling good. Tolerating the treatment well. Had a treatment and doctors appointment to go over the results of my surveillance CT scan and MRI that I had on Monday. The scans showed the metastatic lung nodules have shrank almost across the board, a couple of them significantly. The one or two that didn’t shrink also didn’t grow. Going to see a Nephrologist about an elevated protein level in my urine that may be a combination of my type 2 diabetes and a side effect of the treatment/meds. All in all, it was a big relief and a huge boost to my mood.