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About CurlyNight

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    Lost In The Bay Area Madness

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  1. Some assisted livings have support for the family too. My friend's mom is religious so we found a place that does communion there and takes people to church. We made her room very homey with her stuff so that helps. The food sucks so when we visit we take her favourite foods and snacks. People like her room as it's cozy. Some people don't have a cozy setup. Even when they say they hate you, they don't. Surprisingly the mother has admitted a couple times she is thankful for the help and care. Good luck. Xx
  2. Yeah, they get frustrated with their inabilities and lash out. When my friend's mother was eating in the dementia unit, we were always entertained. 2 people who are checked out are arguing about their delusions. Totally made no sense but not to them. Mother, I call her mother since she treats me like family, would all of the sudden shout shut up! You're all nuts! She has a strong Portuguese accent which nobody understands well and usually speaks her native Portuguese. So that made it funnier. Enjoy the break!
  3. They say the personality that the person has becomes enhanced. She never was nice to her daughter. No one knows why. I don't know if I could help her like she does if my mom was mean to me. She's been told go to hell, you are the devil, no one loves you much of her life. Unfortunately that's not part of her memory loss. The mood swings are brutal. She'll be ok then next minute bawling. It's for sure tough. Those who manage to keep the loved one home till the end I admire. Seeing this is even hard for me and she's not my mom. As the person progresses, people near him/her needs to evaluate pros cons of staying put at home. Imo having social interaction with others not just family members and aides is important. Safety is very important. Can the aide or you all be able to pick the person up when they fall. Their mother fell and badly bruised her head. No broken bones but it could happen in the elderly even if healthy. Much to evaluate when changes happen. Their mother's case is very uncommon, going from bedridden 2 weeks to live with all the signs there to actually getting better. As with many non curable diseases it's hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
  4. It's an awful disease especially when the round trips to the hospital, snf and assisted living become frequent. My bff mother has it. I've been with them through it all. I'd say the toughest part besides putting her in assisted living is the times she doesn't look so bad. She knows she's not home. She always has since July 2016 when she left her home. It's a disease with ups and downs. Last Oct we were all summoned to her bedside to say bye. Hospice said no more than 2 weeks left. She made it. Then it became Thanksgiving, Christmas. Not only did she live but once bedridden now she could sit in a wheelchair and go to the dining room for dinner. No more pureed food. And she fed herself. Not long after that she could rise from the chair and slowly go to the bathroom close by without a walker and go all by herself. Even washed her hands! She went from hallucinating and being confused much of the time to no more hallucinations and lucid more often. Docs are stunned. She came off hospice. One thing we noted is once some medications were lowered or stopped she was doing better. She's 93, dxd in 2015. Her druggie son has always lived with her and my bff moved in Jan 2016 to help. She was just falling too much. She wore a diaper at night but with dementia she thought she could get out of bed to go to the bathroom and wind up on the floor. She's also not a nice person to my bff and is irrationally blamed for everything bad. That's where I'd get called over since she loves me and her daughter is mean and evil. But we couldn't keep picking her off the floor. Bathing her on a chair in the tub was very difficult because she's not a baby and can do it. We spent time before it was getting too impossible to find an assisted living that was clean with a caring staff. Found one close to us across the street from her docs and hospital. It was kicking and screaming. She tried to escape. One time they found her in the street hoping to get run down. It's only now that she doesn't have much strength that she can't get past her doorway. The moods swing. She's nice to me all the time and attacks her daughter much less if I'm there. Once in awhile she like her. But since she always loves to see me I am called when things are bad. I'd suggest have a place in mind. Some places have waiting lists. Who does she seem to be closest too. Have that person available for the bad days. It kind of comes on suddenly. You've been doing it 24/7 and all of the sudden it's I can't, at least in this situation. Unless you hire 24/7 care which is costly assisted living it is. It was considered for 5 minutes, not just the cost but the stress of seeing her demise. For awhile we went to visit daily. Eventually she liked the staff and even made some friends. Yay! It was a good decision because social interaction, doing activities with non family members stimulates the brain. Plus they get home care which includes PT. We hear get me out of here much less because staff is very kind and caring. So now we visit less because she's ok and for our own mental health. It's a tough decision. I'd go as long as you can and she is also safe and otherwise doing ok like eating ok. Make sure the assisted living has a memory care unit. That way she can stay put when things get bad. When the mother becomes combative she eats in their dining room. They try to not keep her in her room all the time. They need interaction with people. I'd also get the power of attorney in place, advanced directive, polst, etc if you haven't yet. Some folks go down fast while others can linger for years. Best wishes. Xx
  5. There are some who hope CA breaks off into the ocean. I think it's because of politics. Still though to wish people dead says a lot about those people too.
  6. I don't get how any disaster is funny. People who weren't in CA at the time or knew someone affected by it are less likely to have a where were you moment. Your mom sounds like my aunt during the Iran Iraq war. Bombs were going off too close for comfort. She would say hold on as her window was shattered then continue like it was nothing. I think many of us in CA don't get phased about quakes unless it hits us bad personally. That probably explains why many of us don't have earthquake kits.
  7. They have faulty equipment. They admitted it. That's where the anger stems from.
  8. I had a roommate tell me she was in a parking lot, nothing around her. The pavement was heaving like taking deep breaths in and out and tearing apart. She thought she was a gonner. Just held on and got real lucky.
  9. Against the Oakland A's. It was the battle of the bay!
  10. The world series was cancelled that evening and took place at a later date once the stadium was deemed safe.
  11. Yes. Some of the players are talking about it on the news.
  12. At least they care about SF to test it. The rest of us will find out probably after it hits.
  13. They just showed this on the news. The garlock fault has been quiet for 500 years but now is shifting since the Ridgecrest one. So Cal would feel this one the hardest. My fav mo has become nothing but watch out big one is coming and pink #### everywhere making it look like it's a bc pink celebration. 🙄
  14. Watching Loma Prieta quake 30 years later documentary on YouTube. Pretty good.