I have been silent on this board for almost 3 months and only periodically checking in but I had to respond to this.
My wife and I battled through this with my oldest son when he went off to college. This is a kid that excelled at everything he ever did: school, sports, music, friends. He went away to school and had an psychological break in his sophomore year. He called me on his way to work and was not making any sense at all. I tried calling him back and his phone went right to voice mail. I called his cousin that he was very close to and asked if he could drive the route from his apartment to work to see if he could find him, no luck.
Later that afternoon my wife and I decided to make the 4 hour drive from Pittsburgh to Philly to see if we could find him. Half way there we get a call from the police that he was picked up for trying to enter someone's home because he was lost. The cops didn't know what to do with him and we were unable to see him until the morning. When we did he recognized us but was very agitated and was concerned the FBI was after him and us. He was saying crazy stuff like he was here to save the world, aliens, etc.
He was obviously having a breakdown so the police allowed us to take him home after being seen by a psychiatrist. The doctor gave him a sedative to keep him calm on the drive home and we drove him directly to the hospital when we got home. (The drive was a nightmare because whatever she gave him wore off about an hour from home). He was admitted for 48 hours and I was able to get him to voluntarily stay for an additional 72 hours after that. He was given Geodon and it helped dramatically.
That was about 9-10 years ago and he had one major lapse about 5 years ago where he had stopped taking his meds and my wife calling the police. He was very resentful of his mother for 2 years but things have gotten better to the point where they get along fine and he tells her he loves her. Over the last 5 years he's been able to buy a house, hold down a job (until getting laid off recently because of Covid-19) he also has a steady girlfriend and lots of friends. I know that he takes his meds regularly because I insist on buying them and it is obvious after about a month if he stops. He admits now (finally) that he has a disease that needs medicine to treat just like his younger brother has to take medicine to treat his Chron's.
My advice to you is 1) once you find a medicine that works do everything in your power to convince her to take them. 2) Do not disconnect: she'll likely say and do things that will hurt and anger you when off of her meds. Don't allow her to walk all over you but remember that this is a symptom of the disease and it is not really her.
We have been through hell and back several times but things have been calm for 3-4 years and life is good. We still can't believe that a perfectly normal kid could go bipolar so quick, seemingly overnight, but then he was away in college and maybe the signs were there and we missed them. Still pretty weird how you can go 18-19 years without a trace of mental illness to completely whacked out.
Hang in there Tuff, you have my prayers and know that you aren't alone in this. A lot of us have been there. God bless you and your family
Now back to my self-imposed timeout.