Dear Guy That I'm Guessing Has Asperger's,
I don't mind that you keep conversations going as I'm walking away or trying to leave for the day. I don't mind that most of the time you smell like body odor and old socks. I don't even mind that you try to pick up chicks in chat rooms when you don't think anybody is paying attention. But there is something I do mind. PLEASE quit standing right in front of me and eyeballing whatever I happened to get for lunch.
You look at my food like you haven't eaten in a month. Where did I get it? It says "Subway" on the bag. I'll give you three guesses. What do I have on it? WHY DO YOU CARE?! CAN I PLEASE EAT MY SANDWICH! I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU ANY! Is it good? IT'S FINE! THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T THROW IT AWAY AFTER I TOOK A BITE! Please, please, please quit watching me eat my sandwich. Please? We're cool. Just talk to me after I'm done eating. You skeeve me out a little.