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bananafish

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bananafish last won the day on September 29 2019

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  1. https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/bill-barr-tests-negative-for-integrity WASHINGTON —In a test result that he called “a tremendous relief,” the Attorney General, Bill Barr, has tested negative for integrity, Barr confirmed on Friday. Barr submitted to the test after learning that he had come into contact with career Justice Department prosecutors who were found to be integrity carriers. “When I learned that there were still people at the Justice Department with integrity, I was understandably furious,” Barr told reporters. “I told them to go home at once.” Barr said that he was putting into place new protocols that would require Justice Department employees to be tested for integrity before entering the building. “I thought that anyone with integrity had already left the Justice Department, but apparently I was mistaken,” he said. “It’s better to be safe than sorry.” Although he was elated to learn that he had tested negative for integrity, Barr said that he shuddered to think how close he came to contracting the dreaded virtue. “Having integrity would have made it impossible for me to work for President Trump,” he said.
  2. "It made us look bad" is now considered a legitimate governing philosophy. Get with the program.
  3. The risk to our country is real and being realized. Our President is urging businesses to open and people to go back work while working to give corporations immunity from liability and destroying what's left of Obamacare. The fight over who pays the bill might be the end of our country as we know it, but some people for some reason, as if to prove the point, feel the most important thing is to describe the use of the President's own words as "revisionist history". We're not going to recover from this.
  4. More provocation last night. If you haven't heard "closed casket, homey" yet just wait. https://twitter.com/karlo500/status/1258236718462926848 https://twitter.com/_iamkali/status/1258256747254308865 https://twitter.com/thatguydream/status/1258251301202415617
  5. Sadly, they learned competent governance from the US model which we've since abandoned in favor of Soviet-style kleptocracy. There are now dozens of countries that do America better than we do, and as this turns into a US vs. China version of the cold war it will become more and more obvious who has the winning hand. We couldn't have done a better job of making ourselves less competitive if we had tried, but we'll probably only realize that once we go all-in and force other countries to take a side. I hope we take losing gracefully but I doubt it. A cold war is probably wishful thinking.
  6. Hold on, remember there's good people on both sides, innocent until proven guilty, etc. https://twitter.com/nowthisnews/status/1258072280938283013
  7. Humans are disposable, just bump up your next order. You get a discount on orders of 1,000 or more and free same-day delivery if you have Prime. Just remember to dispose of them in the proper socially-responible container so they don't clog up the landfills.
  8. I wasn't sure what to make of this story, but listening to the latest Skullduggery podcast was enough to convince me that it deserves further investigation. It certainly isn't going away. Skullduggery is hosted by Michael Isikoff and Daniel Klaidman, who are anything but partisan hacks. The podcast was started to delve into Trumpian politics (an Isikoff article set the Blasey-Ford ball in motion), but they've done plenty of work exposing politicians of every stripe. (good read: 64 hours in October: How one weekend blew up the rules of American politics) This episode is with Ryan Grimm, D.C. Bureau Chief for the Intercept, who did some of the first national reporting on the Tara Reade allegations. Grimm and The Intercept have a progressive slant, but he and they have their own record of impressive journalism. (another good read: How the Intercept Is Fueling the Democratic Civil War) I despise Trump as much as anyone, but what has happened to our country is even more loathesome. If the Democratic Party can't resist the temptation to adopt the same tactics and embraces reverse both-sidesism as their new philosophy then the gig is up.
  9. I was about to give you a like, but cutting ties with themselves doesn't seem likely or even possible. I am willing to entertain other possibilities, however, if such a thing exists...
  10. The #1 factor in mitigating the effect of Covid-19 is the widespread availability of testing, just like it was yesterday, last week, last month, the month before that, and the month before that. The #1 factor in minimizing the length of time we have to stay cooped up and the ultimate effect on our economy is the widespread availability of testing, just like it was yesterday, last week, last month, the month before that, and the month before that. We can't change yesterday of course, but there are steps we can take today that will change what we face tomorrow. And the day after that, the day after that, etc. Unfortunately, Trump continues to lie, distract, and distort everything testing-related, just like he has from the start. It doesn't have to be this way, but it will never change as long as holding our President to a lower standard than literally every other person on earth is seen as acceptable by his fans and the people he listens to. The #1 thing you and I and most people can do to reduce the damage to our country is change the opinion of those Trump Whisperers. Every other factor is irrelevant in comparison to the magnitude of this one thing, and every action that distracts or otherwise lessens the amount of attention it receives makes our recovery that much harder and pushes "getting back to normal" that much farther away. Please keep this in mind when planning your actions for the day. What you decide to do can make a huge difference either way. Thank you.
  11. Antidepressant: https://twitter.com/RexChapman/status/1253709933981446144
  12. Everything that Trump touches, dies. It's only going to get worse until we're all dead or he is. How Trump’s COVID-19 Failure Betrayed Our Military and Veterans President Trump’s coronavirus fantasies didn’t just mislead the American people—they hamstrung the military and prevented the VA system from being able to prepare for the pandemic.
  13. Oh, I'm sure it's been going on for millennia, or however long there's been societal organization or civilization or whatever. It seems like there's something similar going on with troops and packs of animals as well. What seems different here is that when graft is exposed, those in a position to do something about it don't care. Some applaud it, I guess happy with the beta-life as long as there's somebody to look down on and scapegoat. Every Republican Senator but one defended it and voted that it was no big deal, but at least they're getting rich off the deal, however despicable that might be. I find the peculiar strain of glee some of his fans show in delighting in the consternation and alarm that Trump's shameless kleptocracy creates in their fellows much harder to fathom, like America deserves to be punished for something and it's about time it was. We see it here every day, exhausting everyone with the endless game of "I know you are but what am I." I don't know what was so funny about my earlier post, but apparently somebody found it so hilarious that they slapped a "crying laughing" smiley on it. It must be a lot more fun than it seems. Or "Elliott has Two Daddies" was a sign of something far more serious than I thought. Whatever the case, laughing as the country burns down seems a bit extreme, especially as their kids and loved ones will face the same repercussions as those whose demoralization they find so amusing. Our attempt at meritocracy, however flawed, blemished, and uneven, set us apart from the rest of the world, and the competition and innovation rewarded by our market economy (which has its own flaws), played a major role in our rise as a global superpower. Now, other countries do "America" better than we do, and we're well on our way to becoming just another Mexico or Russia. I guess I don't find that funny at all. People have always found queer ways of getting their jollies of course, I'll just leave it to them to pick up the tab for this one.
  14. It doesn't matter. There's a heaping bonfire of damming evidence going back years, and every log that's added only makes him more popular. The genius of it, if you can call it that, is Trump has managed to convince a lot of disaffected Americans that he's on their side, telling it like it is and all that jazz, and distracted all of us with the "Make America Great Again: Oval Office Edition" reality show while the one-percenters looted the treasury. It's plutocracy disguised as populism. The problem is, the rest of the world hasn't been sitting around twiddling their thumbs and saving our seat for us. While we were focused on bringing back coal and kneeling football players, China became the most digitized country on the planet and tied us for GDP at the end of last year (or close to it, depending on which numbers you use). They've undoubtedly surpassed us by now in terms of economic power, especially with Covid-19 and their non-incompetent leadership. Meanwhile, lobbying and litigation have become wiser investments with greater returns for most US companies than R&D, and we pay more for less than any other country in the world for technology that we invented. Look at who the major players are in 5G, AI and machine learning, quantum computing, distributed networks, whatever flavor of the future you like. The names at the top of the leaderboard are no longer American, and our massive lead in institutional research has been damaged to such a degree that we're no longer the first choice for the brightest minds on the planet (or at the very least, it's no longer a no-brainer decision like it once was. The brand will take a while to fade completely). We wouldn't let them in or told them to go back to their ####hole countries once they got here anyway. We couldn't have done a more bang-up job of obliterating our competitiveness if we tried. It's uncanny. It's going to take an enormous amount of effort and reinvestment to get back on our feet if we ever do, and once the bill comes due all the billionaires and Googles and Apples of the world will just leave. They're all multinational corporations or the owners of them anyway, what's going to keep them here? Patriotism? "I'm sorry, but we have a fiduciary duty to our shareholders to let business principles decide the best use of capital blah blah blah. Thank you, Poland/Ireland/Malaysia, for the warm welcome to our new home." We've all been swindled, and the price tag for it will make everything we've seen before seem like NeverNeverland. It might end up costing the country. I'm graduating with an MBA in four days and was planning on getting a PhD in the US before surveying the international landscape, but I just moved Singapore University into the pole position. I want my kids to have a future, but part of the Trumpian bargain was mortgaging that as well, along with the bans on American immigrants that are already taking shape (which reminds me, I need to start working on my Canadian accent). I'm not confident this option will still be available in 5 years. Not at all. I fought my hardest against the decision-making that led us down this path of ruination, so I, and my children and their children, shouldn't have to pay for it. Good luck, America. You're gonna need it with those degrees in Intelligent Design from DeVos University. May God have mercy on your souls.