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Oliver Humanzee

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About Oliver Humanzee

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    Pittsburgh Steelers

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  1. Yeah well MY MOM looks like DAVID BOWIE if DAVID BOWIE was a FRUMPY LESBIAN. So who you gonna believe? Some dumb bull#### or a woman who had an ASHES TO ASHES ERA HAIRCUT for 11 CONSECUTIVE YEARS.
  2. This is the second time Krista has convinced me not to show up in this thread to heap abuse on you. There won’t be a third.
  3. Dunno if Doc actually likes Slash or not. Maybe he just likes big dumb top hats at jaunty angles. I’m saying that Slash makes awful, pointless music and should in no way be enjoyed even casually. He’s like bath salts or biker crank. Whatever cheap jittery buzz you might get from it isn’t worth the brain damage
  4. He should go ahead and kill himself. Preferably by choking to death on a plateful of that pointless, tuneless mess of wet noodles that he calls his “solos”.
  5. I don't think that "casual" Beatles' fans appreciate "And Your Bird Can Sing" enough. Musically speaking, my own personal crank is turned primarily by a particular kind of combustion (not occurring entirely in rock music, though mostly that is where it happens) that has little to do with the "pop" aspects of music that most folks seem to respond to. That is to say, I truly don't give a fig about a song's "catchiness", its "tunefulness", or whether or not one can bop one's painfully Caucasoid head along to it while driving. "Danceability" is hahahah whatever chief people manage to dance to Stravinsky and I look like a raccoon drunk on fermented crabapples when I try to perform a movement more artful than "walk briskly in a straight line". That said, "And Your Bird Can Sing" burns in the ways that the best rock music does: it is funny and spiteful and is built around a seemingly endless, hall-of-fame caliber riff as good as "Black Dog" or "Supernaut". And Christ if it isn't "catchy" and "hooky" and "fuzzy" and two minutes of absurdly radio-friendly pop music from one of the best bands on the planet at the height of their powers. I mean, The Posies, Guided By Voices, Cheap Trick, Game Theory and that whole LA "Paisley Underground" spent whole decades trying to achieve that kind rock/pop/art synthesis and it has just been hanging out there on side B of Revolver this whole time. The hell. Why aren't all of you "power pop" music aficionados jabbering about this song so ceaselessly that I have to mute you on Twitter? Why the hell do you all keep jabbering about Weezer? (I mean, I assume. That's what you were all jabbering about when I muted you on Twitter.)
  6. 1. If we wanted to hear 18 minutes of garbage we would just let other people play their music rather than pay actual money for NOFX. 3. Yeah, I looked but TouchTunes doesn’t even have Adventure, let alone Blow Up. 4. Also looked for really long Krautrock stuff and there was no Can, Amon Duul, or Neu! Same for Glen Branca and Rhys Chatham compositions. Ditto early Sonic Youth, Boredoms, “Black Angel’s Death Song”, the first Earth record, Dopesmoker, This Heat, or anything with Pharoah Sanders or Sonny Sharrock. 5. If “Endlessly Long Series of Bleats, Clangs, and Screams Designed Specifically To Generate Discomfort” were a genre, I would be it’s Harry Smith.
  7. 5. Southern Girls 4. He’s A Whore 3. Auf Weidersehen 2. Surrender 1. Downed FIGHT ME
  8. I didn’t know Infinite Jest existed until 1997 or so. Didn’t memorize it until 1998 or so.
  9. I still like George’s janky solo and the “brllrrprprpr” mouth noise. And rock music from the late ‘60’s onward really did seem humorless and staid and lacking the sense of ridiculousness that would make John Lennon blow a raspberry on tape. Until we were saved by the Cramps and Ramones and the B-52’s.
  10. I wasn’t 100% sober for any of this #####, don’t remember saying most of it, and actively disagree with many of my own opinions. Not my “Fool on the Hill” opinion, though. That song stinks.
  11. When Krista makes an epic thread ranking your posts, my color would be something like: ”Strong capslock game and EXCELLENT use of the jagaloon. Timeless. Not a lot of dudes using multiple punctuation marks at that time, either.”