Henry Ford

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About Henry Ford

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  1. I'm having surgery tomorrow. Thinking about how much I hate hospitals. I know virtually everyone does. Also thinking about mortality. And you and your daughter. I can't begin to imagine where you are emotionally right now. Or what the outcome will be or what you're thinking is best case scenario or anything. I wish you and your family luck, and love, and every wonderful thing in the universe including your father being shown on America's Funniest Home Videos getting kicked in the nuts by a mule. I know that, almost universally, we want the same things from our lives. We want to be forgiven, we want to be remembered, and we want to know that we didn't waste our time here on Earth. I don't know how to answer those things for myself, but I know how to answer them for Riley. I hope she grows up healthy and amazing and full of the kind of regrets we all live with, searching for forgiveness her whole life like every other human being, but she doesn't need any now. I know that she has already done more with her time than I have with mine, and will be remembered long after I'm gone. More than anything, I wish you hope. If there were a bargain to be made with a devil before my surgery, I'd trade my cow valve for your daughter's speedy recovery. In that, at least, your father is right. It isn't fair. But in the absence of magical solutions, I still wish you hope. I'll be pulling for you, like everyone is. Keep the faith, shady. Much love.
  2. If you're going to be a sports agent, there are several downsides to taking the bar, whether you pass or not.
  3. Decision on my appellate argument from July just came back. Reversed. Good day for good news.
  4. I'm sorry. Client suicides suck.
  5. Thanks. It's pretty wet. Fortunately I'm well insured, so... we'll see how it goes.
  6. Louisiana is doing well this week.
  7. Remember the "people who..." Bits a few pages back? All of those things.
  8. It looks way better in the pictures.
  9. People on food stamps and Medicaid who think the government should get rid of all "entitlement programs."
  10. People who think the metric system is a conspiracy.
  11. People who have a statue of a little black jockey on their lawns.
  12. Population of people who believe that the Constitution is based on the Bible.
  13. The set of people voting for Trump completely subsumes the Truck Nutz and Confederate Flag On A Truck Flag Pole population.
  14. "So after he said he would take you in and give you a job, when you were covering yourself up in the bathroom and he was naked with an erection standing in front of you, what happened then?" "I asked him what he was doing." "And what did he say?" *sob* "He said he was collecting rent." *sob* "Your honor, we request a brief recess so that my client can compose herself before she gets into any further details of the incident."