Henry Ford

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About Henry Ford

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  1. I bet after this he make Melania call him Mr. Trump during sexytime.
  2. Google "Joe Exotic"
  3. Oh, sure. I agree. We should tone down the rhetoric about Hillary Clinton to the level we use for Sarah Palin. Good call.
  4. Oh, wait, do you mean that Congress should spend 25 years investigating Palin and desperately trying to put her in jail? I can get on board with that.
  5. That would be weird. She's not young, a moron, or hot. Why would you treat a smart, not very attractive, older woman the same way you'd treat a midlife, attractive idiot? I don't even think the insults used on Palin would be funny on Clinton.
  6. Thanks. As a lawyer, I'd never thought about lying. That's very helpful.
  7. I'll let you know when I can remember it. Met him through Don Keenan. Of the two, hire Don Keenan.
  8. I'm late to the game here, but this is all fantastic advice. Especially the bolded.
  9. There's actually a plaintiff lawyer I know who sings his closings. They're absolutely awful, but it works for him.
  10. When my clients don't want to settle the case because they're in the right and don't understand they can lose, I ask them to picture twelve people who couldn't get out of jury duty. Then imagine their lives depend on being able to convince those twelve people that the Earth is not flat.
  11. I have terrible news for you. After spending a few decades trying to convince juries of obvious things, I can assure you that there are so many idiots in this country that the two party system has virtually no chance of being changed any time soon if it depends on voters realizing something.
  12. I swear I posted about this last year or the year before, but can't find it. Every year an old client of the firm comes in and has us fill out his paperwork to show he hasn't worked in the last year and is still entitled to LHWCA benefits. He can't read or write and we refuse to accept any money from him because he's delightful and just needs help filling out a 1-page thing. So instead he brings in huge amounts of food and booze for us. Today was the day this year. Two huge trays of cookies, three giant bottles of hard liquor, a magnum of wine, and an entire sheet cake. My end of the year is going to suck when he dies.
  13. Sadly, like I said, we can't go home alone. And the natural juice cleanse store down the street, Big Johnson T-Shirt Company, and McMullin's House of Magic Underwear just don't have enough draw for ladies' night.
  14. Unfortunately, going home alone from this bar isn't an option.
  15. Sonic? Do you know Sonic? It's like a Sonic with just a drive through.