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Funny things your kid has said (2 Viewers)

My 15 year old just walked in the door from summer school. He's going through this semi-Ska phase. He's wearing a grey suit jacket and a fedora-type hat. So I say:"Hey, what's up, Sinatra."He comes back with "Hey, what's up.......uh....loser face".
Sucks to be you. Your son looks like Sinatra, and you look like a loser.
He's not 80 or Indiana Jones, therefore there should be no Fedora's.
Did you miss the "ska" part?
No didn't miss it at all just think the Fedora should only be on Indy or 80 year old men. As with all things Hot Women can wear whatever the hell they want.
 
Somehow my daughter (7) and I got on the topic of our lineage:

Me: So we are part Italian, part Irish, and some other stuff mixed in.

Daughter: :rolleyes: I'm part Irish??

Me: Yup

Daughter: No wonder I can dance like an Irishman!!

At this point she begins to rip a hilarious River Dance-esque maneuver that would make Michael Flatly proud.

 
My 15 year old just walked in the door from summer school. He's going through this semi-Ska phase. He's wearing a grey suit jacket and a fedora-type hat. So I say:"Hey, what's up, Sinatra."He comes back with "Hey, what's up.......uh....loser face".
Sucks to be you. Your son looks like Sinatra, and you look like a loser.
He's not 80 or Indiana Jones, therefore there should be no Fedora's.
Did you miss the "ska" part?
No didn't miss it at all just think the Fedora should only be on Indy or 80 year old men. As with all things Hot Women can wear whatever the hell they want.
Actually it's more of a pork pie now that I look at it.
 
at my in-laws cottage.. feeding daughter "cheese whips" over 4th of july weekend.

she's 2 and picking up language quickly but had never heard the word "whips" before.

my mother in law is Sicilian and very proud of it.

furleywife: (daughter) do you want cheese whips?

daughter (quickly destroys the cheese whip): want more cheese whops

furley: :banned:

daughter: more CHEESE WHOPS! :mellow: I WANT WHOPS! WHOPS!

furleyMIL: :bag:

 
exchange last week between my wife and my 3 yr. old Lily...

Lily: "Mommy, will I have a husband some day?"

Mom: "Sure sweetheeart, probably."

Lily: "Will he be a weirdo like your husband?"

:mellow:

 
Lately, my 3 1/2 yo son has been prone to (1) car sickness and (2) bouts of insane tantrums...

Also, his latest kick is he wants to do everything himself, such that he'll throw a fit, then undo what you did, and then do it himself.

If you help him with his shoes, he'll put them back on and then take them off himself. Carry him up the stairs? He'll climb back down then go up himself.

Anyway, it's nice that he wants to be independent, but when you're in a hurry, and he gets in a fit about you helping him...look out.

So we go to get in the car, and he's goofing off as he gets into his seat, so my wife just lifts him up and in and starts buckling him up, and he starts having a fit, but we're in a hurry, so too bad.

Amidst his wailing, I get him to listen to me for two seconds, long enough to use a trick I use when he says he is feeling carsick.

I tell him to take a deep breath, count backwards from 10, and then take another deep breath, then I ask him if he feels better, and boom, car sickness is gone, or the tantrum pretty much stops. Works like a charm.

So he takes a deep breath, starts counting backwards, and my wife starts counting with him.

"NO NO NO!!!! I WANTED TO COUNT BACKWARDS BY MYSELF! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

She says OK, but it's too late, and he basically screamed the whole car ride.

So in essence, he threw a temper tantrum because he wanted to use his anger management technique by himself, which I told him to use because he was having a temper tantrum because he wanted to get into his car seat by himself.

Fun. Times.

ETA: The first time he threw one of his epic tantrums happened to be days after he got a vaccine, so I joked with my wife, "Look at him freaking out, he's getting autism before our very eyes."

Peter stops crying, wipes his tears and picks himself up off the ground and says, "Daddy, did you say I'm getting awesome?"

SJ96: "Um...lol...yeah bud, I did say you are getting awesome."

Peter: "Thanks Dad, I love you."

And he hugs me and gets back to playing normally.

 
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2Squirrels1Nut said:
My 15 year old just walked in the door from summer school. He's going through this semi-Ska phase. He's wearing a grey suit jacket and a fedora-type hat. So I say:"Hey, what's up, Sinatra."He comes back with "Hey, what's up.......uh....loser face".
Sucks to be you. Your son looks like Sinatra, and you look like a loser.
At least he isn't giving free crank jobs in the alley like your prodigy.
Prodigy may not be the word you're looking for...
 
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Last night, my 5 year old son "tarted"on his 2 year old sister (that's how she says farted). My wife reprimanded him and told him that he was teaching her poor manners. He said "I'm sorry. It has a mind of its own."

 
Radical Larry said:
GTBilly said:
Radical Larry said:
Sucks to be you. Your son looks like Sinatra, and you look like a loser.
He's not 80 or Indiana Jones, therefore there should be no Fedora's.
Did you miss the "ska" part?
No didn't miss it at all just think the Fedora should only be on Indy or 80 year old men. As with all things Hot Women can wear whatever the hell they want.
Actually it's more of a pork pie now that I look at it.
When did Sinatra wear pork pie hats?
 
2Squirrels1Nut said:
My 15 year old just walked in the door from summer school. He's going through this semi-Ska phase. He's wearing a grey suit jacket and a fedora-type hat. So I say:"Hey, what's up, Sinatra."He comes back with "Hey, what's up.......uh....loser face".
Sucks to be you. Your son looks like Sinatra, and you look like a loser.
At least he isn't giving free crank jobs in the alley like your prodigy.
Prodigy may not be the word you're looking for...
Oh no, the real father is very intelligent.
 
Had new son July 2. Went away on business from the 7th to 14th. While away, my 4-and-a-half-year-old who is used to all of the attention understandably acted out a bit. Nothing too bad, just not listening well, being hyper and not stopping when told, starting sassing and talking back to his mother for the first time. Yesterday, he was acting out and slammed the car door. My wife's hand was in the jam and got a good smashing. (Swelling is down today.)

When I got home, I took my son aside and said sternly, "Connor, you are a good boy. What is going on with you!"

He looked as sincere as sincere could be, threw his hand out to his sides and said, with urgency, "I'm totally out of control!"

I lost it immediately. :confused:
As opposed to having an old son???? :lmao:

 
Exchange between my 11 yo daughter and 2 yo son (but he will be 3 in a month) while she was helping him get dressed:

3yo son: "want to see my penis?"

11yo daughter: "No, thanks. I don't need to."

Son: "Yes you do, want to see my penis?"

Daughter: "No, I am good."

Son: "Want to see my butt? Its cute!"

We all laughed. Sad part is I know this line will work on some county girl someday.

 
My youngest son Dylan, 3, has now taken a liking to acting like a dog. Cal calls him Pup-Pup and he takes it as far as eating directly off his plate.

WTMF

 
I was explaining to my 7-year-old daughter that I was going to the hospital to visit her 90-year-old great-grandmother.

She thought about it a couple of seconds before saying "I hope she is having a baby!"

(Cheered up my grandmother)

 
I was explaining to my 7-year-old daughter that I was going to the hospital to visit her 90-year-old great-grandmother.She thought about it a couple of seconds before saying "I hope she is having a baby!"(Cheered up my grandmother)
probably your grandfather as well. (hope he's ok)
 
My 5 yo girl said out of the blue today, "Daddy, if we have to sleep downstairs because of a tornado, can we bring bagels and grapes? I love bagels."

 
The other night...as my 3 1/2 yo son is getting undressed for his bath, he's peppering me...

Peter: I have a penis.

SJ96: Yes you do.

Peter: Daddy has a penis.

SJ96: Yes I do.

Peter: Does Mommy have a penis?

SJ96: No Peter, only boys have a penis. Girls do not.

...Peter thinking...

Peter: Does Mommy want a penis?

SJ96: :hot: You wouldn't think so lately. :lol:

...Cut to bath....

...Fade to Peter reading in bed with Mommy and Daddy....

Peter: Mommy?

Mrs. SJ96: Why don't you want a penis?

SJ96: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Mrs. SJ96: :shuked: What made you say that?

Peter: Daddy said you don't have a penis and you don't want a penis. Right Dad?

SJ96: :bag: x 1000

 
My youngest son Dylan, 3, has now taken a liking to acting like a dog. Cal calls him Pup-Pup and he takes it as far as eating directly off his plate.WTMF
My daughter did this schtick.Well not the food part, she would sit on the couch barking, tongue sticking out then try to lick my face.
 
My 3yo daughter had a pimple on her chest. She said to me, "I'll scratch it off." After she was unable to, she got this horrified look on her face and said, "Daddy, I think I'm getting another belly button!!!"

 
Just got of the phone with my wife, and she told me about dropping Peter (3 1/2) off at her parents' this morning.

She unbuckled him, he got out of the van, and then made a beeline for the front door, shouting "BYE MOM" without even looking back.

Obviously not satisfied with this goodbye, she yells, "HEY!? Wait a second!"

He stops and turns around and hurries back to the van and climbs inside...

"I almost forgot my backpack, thanks, bye!"

 
My 4 year old has been getting into Star Wars and we just got through the original trilogy.

After dinner the other night he asks me...

"Dad, can I watch Star Wars?"

"Sure, which one?"

"The one where Princess Leia is Jabba the Hutt's prisoner"

Oh boy.

 
I'm watching the Vikings preseason game and my 5 yo daughter plops down next to me and says she wants to watch football. I'm like, "Yeah. This is fun isn't it?"

A few minutes later she says, "Look at their butts. I like their butts. Shake your booty." :lmao:

 
Taking a walk with the family this weekend, a fire engine goes by.

My 3 y/o son: Daddy, where is the fire truck going?

Me: I don't know. There might be a building on fire. Or, there might be a cat stuck in a tree.

Son: (without hesitating) Or there could be a dog stuck in mud.

Me: Yeah, that's probably it...

 
Apparently my six-year old has inherited my affinity for playing video games and loves to play the Wii, iPhone, computer games, whatever is turned on and he can get his hands on. We place some pretty heavy restrictions on how much he can play but he likes to constantly badger us about wanting to play some more. Yesterday after having it up to here ^ with it, I told him that the more he asks, the longer it's going to be before he gets to play. We go back and forth for a few seconds until he finally says through some sniffles...."Daddy, I can't help it that God made me like video games this much..." :thumbup:

 
My kid is picking up more words here and there. This weekend he learned how to say clock only he's not very good with his l's...

 
Drifter said:
My kid is picking up more words here and there. This weekend he learned how to say clock only he's not very good with his l's...
My daughter did that with the word sock. She still mispronounces S sounds. She will pick up my socks from floor and proclaim "Claire have daddy sock" only she is not saying sock. Luckily she hasn't said this when anyone other than my wife was around, so I am safe for now.Last weekend we took her to McDonalds to play inside. There was a very large lady (easily 300+) already there with her kid. This lady is dressed in all purple, my daughter looked at her and simply said "Barney!?" Had to try my hardest to not laugh since that would have resulted in my daughter repeating it over and over.
 
A three year old I was watching this weekend kept telling me about, "When I was little..."

It just killed me. :lmao:

 
Drifter said:
My kid is picking up more words here and there. This weekend he learned how to say clock only he's not very good with his l's...
:wall: My then 2yr old did this and we had this gem 2 xmas' ago...2yr comes back from xmas shopping with Mom...2yr old - Daddy I got you a present!!!me - cool I can't wait to open it.2yr old - You're really going to like it (he's busting ready to tell me)me - I know whatever you g.........2yr old blurts out - I GOT YOU A DEER CLOCK (minus the L).I nearly pissed my pants. :wall: He had a great one while we were on vacation a few weeks ago. We got a beachhouse with my sister and her family. We were all coming back from going out for ice cream when my wife and sister wanted to hit the grocery store for milk and a few things. We drop them off and all the men (we have 2 boys they have 1) were in the truck waiting for them to come back out.me - should we leave them in the store and go to go carts or something?4yr old - NO!!! We need the milk. :wall: Me and my BIL lost it :wall:
 
Ever since my daughter could talk she decided to call my shaved head (kaykay). We have no idea where or how this started and we try not to encourage it. She loves to give me hugs around my head and when the hair grows in a little she loves how soft my hair feels.

So we're out shopping at the grocery store, she sitting in the cart.

Her: "Daddy, I love you. Let me see your kaykay"

Now this never struck me as possibly being misconstrued until you hear it out in public and people shoot you looks.

So I quickly let her hug my head and she rubs the back of my head and says "Soft kaykay"

I'm between :goodposting: :lmao: :bag: and I try to quickly let her know we should probably only say that at home and please say hair or head from now on.

 
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Standing around a backyard having a couple beers at a family party...turn around to see my 4-year old with his pants around his ankles peeing in between 2 garbage cans. :tinfoilhat:

 
My 3 1/2 year old on Peter sent me the below e-mail today from my Mom’s iPod.The only thing my Mom helped him with was she told him when to hit the Enter button, and she showed him how to add the questions mark, and how to backspace, but he did that himself once she showed him how...Everything he typed was what he wanted to say to me, and she didn’t have to help him with any of the spelling of the words.

---------- Forwarded message ----------From: Momma CostiganDate: Tue, Aug 31, 2010 at 9:07 AMSubject: hiTo: Billyhi dadi miss youdo you want to play with me later?i love youpeter
I wanted to get up and leave work and go give him a big hug and play dinosaurs or something with him.
 
Exchange w/ girl working at the NorthFace store, while my 7 yr. old son stood and looked on:

Me, holding up jacket: "Excuse me, is this jacket waterproof or water resistant?"

Her: "Well, it's not waterproof, but it will keep you dry in most conditions. But if you were out in the rain for a really long time you might eventually get wet."

Me: "So it's water resistant?" :moneybag:

her: "Yeah" then she walked away.

son, extending fist for fistbump: "Dad, you just served her."

:lmao:

 
Exchange w/ girl working at the NorthFace store, while my 7 yr. old son stood and looked on:

Me, holding up jacket: "Excuse me, is this jacket waterproof or water resistant?"

Her: "Well, it's not waterproof, but it will keep you dry in most conditions. But if you were out in the rain for a really long time you might eventually get wet."

Me: "So it's water resistant?" :towelwave:

her: "Yeah" then she walked away.

son, extending fist for fistbump: "Dad, you just served her."

:hifive:
:lmao:
 
My 16 year old comes home from his first day of school and starts talking about his new English teacher. She has this system of special signals for when kids raise their hands. If a kid has a question he raises his hand with one pinky extended. If he has a comment he makes a 'C' shape with his hand. If he wants to volunteer he makes a 'V' or the peace sign.

Now this system works great for little kids...maybe up to 5th grade...but having HS kids do this is pretty silly IMO.

So my kid is talking about this and my wife and older son both think it's a stupid thing. I'm staying out of it since I really don't like talking bad about other teachers (especially my kid's teachers) in front of them. The three of them run through the usual jokes about holding up 'the finger', what do you do when you need to use the bathroom etc.

Then my 18 year old says "I'd just raise my hand like this [raises his hand the normal way] until she called on me."

The younger kid says "Well she told us you might not call on us."

Keeping his hand up the older one says "I'd tell her 'I can do this all day, [b-word]'"

Yeah, I shouldn't have laughed as hard as I did but it happened.

 
My 16 year old comes home from his first day of school and starts talking about his new English teacher. She has this system of special signals for when kids raise their hands. If a kid has a question he raises his hand with one pinky extended. If he has a comment he makes a 'C' shape with his hand. If he wants to volunteer he makes a 'V' or the peace sign.Now this system works great for little kids...maybe up to 5th grade...but having HS kids do this is pretty silly IMO. So my kid is talking about this and my wife and older son both think it's a stupid thing. I'm staying out of it since I really don't like talking bad about other teachers (especially my kid's teachers) in front of them. The three of them run through the usual jokes about holding up 'the finger', what do you do when you need to use the bathroom etc.Then my 18 year old says "I'd just raise my hand like this [raises his hand the normal way] until she called on me."The younger kid says "Well she told us you might not call on us."Keeping his hand up the older one says "I'd tell her 'I can do this all day, [b-word]'"Yeah, I shouldn't have laughed as hard as I did but it happened.
:unsure:
 
My 19th month is a manipulative little bastage.

Last night, he was in the big bed watching some Sprout before his bedtime (Nina :shrug: ). I ask him if he's ready for bed and he instantly goes from sitting straight back to a lounging position and closes his eyes. I say, "Come on buddy. Bed time". He goes from lounging to straight on his back, eyes closed and a little grin on his face. Apparently, he came to the conclusion that if he was in the big bed with his eyes closed (ie sleeping), he wouldn't be taken to his crib.

Scary that he's working on little deceits like that so young.

 
My 19th month is a manipulative little bastage.Last night, he was in the big bed watching some Sprout before his bedtime (Nina :thumbup: ). I ask him if he's ready for bed and he instantly goes from sitting straight back to a lounging position and closes his eyes. I say, "Come on buddy. Bed time". He goes from lounging to straight on his back, eyes closed and a little grin on his face. Apparently, he came to the conclusion that if he was in the big bed with his eyes closed (ie sleeping), he wouldn't be taken to his crib.Scary that he's working on little deceits like that so young.
A friends 2year old son seems to think if he has his eyes closed that you can't see him (since he can't see you). He will try to sneak out of his bedroom at night with his eyes closed.
 
My 19th month is a manipulative little bastage.Last night, he was in the big bed watching some Sprout before his bedtime (Nina :wub: ). I ask him if he's ready for bed and he instantly goes from sitting straight back to a lounging position and closes his eyes. I say, "Come on buddy. Bed time". He goes from lounging to straight on his back, eyes closed and a little grin on his face. Apparently, he came to the conclusion that if he was in the big bed with his eyes closed (ie sleeping), he wouldn't be taken to his crib.Scary that he's working on little deceits like that so young.
Kids are master manipulators. They cease to amaze me with how they can manipulate at such a young age.Nina - :thumbup:
 
Wife last night: "Jeez, you look exhausted."

Me: "Yeah...I'm pretty tired."

Daughter, 4 last week: "No Daddy, you're handsome tired."

:popcorn:

 
UOFI_316 said:
Drifter said:
My 19th month is a manipulative little bastage.Last night, he was in the big bed watching some Sprout before his bedtime (Nina :wub: ). I ask him if he's ready for bed and he instantly goes from sitting straight back to a lounging position and closes his eyes. I say, "Come on buddy. Bed time". He goes from lounging to straight on his back, eyes closed and a little grin on his face. Apparently, he came to the conclusion that if he was in the big bed with his eyes closed (ie sleeping), he wouldn't be taken to his crib.Scary that he's working on little deceits like that so young.
A friends 2year old son seems to think if he has his eyes closed that you can't see him (since he can't see you). He will try to sneak out of his bedroom at night with his eyes closed.
my 2 year old does something similar except with hands over eyesif she's getting in trouble for something.... throwing food, throwing a toy, fighting going to bed.... she will cover her eyes and think you can't see her anymore.last night, playing with one of her birthday presents. mom sitting on the floor to one side, me on the other, kid in the middle.i asked her if her horse could ring the doorbell to her little playhouse.furleydaughter (looks at me sorta ####-eyed): "umm... daddy.. don't talk to me, okay?" :goodposting: :hot:
 

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