Funny things your kid has said (3 Viewers)

Giant Wooden Badger said:

General Malaise said:

I've got two new entries here....

#1 - Took my oldest with me out to dinner last night with a buddy and his son. Had a nice father/son evening and afterwards headed to the supermarket to pick up some groceries. Now I haven't lived on my own in over 10 years and haven't had to do grocery shopping by myself in ages. So we grabbed a cart and went to work. Up and down every aisle, battling over what he wants to pick out and what we really need to be eating at my new pad. 5-year-old arms reaching out to every sugar packed drug on the shelf to dump into the cart followed by a 35-year-old arm restocking.

He was sitting in the cart with groceries piling up high around him when we finally hit the last aisle - the one that sells man food exclusively: Cheese, Deli Meats and, of course, Beer. We dumped in some string cheese, a foot long summer sausage, a block of mild cheddar, a package of bologna and smoked turkey. Then we turned back around and headed out. My boy blurted out in protest - "BUT DADDY! YOU FORGOT BEER!". I smiled and told him daddy wasn't drinking beer in 2008. He looked perplexed, offered up a blank stare then stuttered out with sincere concern, "But....but what will you drink???"

I'm not sure where that fits in the 12 steps exactly, but....

#2 - My youngest son detests having water anywhere near his face, hair and, most of all, his eyes. He's a tough little *******, but you get a drop of water in his eyes and he shrieks like a boiling lobster. Needless to say, washing his hair is a royal pain in the butt and it takes an equal part of bribery mixed in with some good old fashioned over powering muscle; the latter of which should run out in about 4 years at his growth rate.

I told him months ago that if he didn't wash his hair, it would all fall out. Apparently, he took this information in, processed it and held on to it pretty tightly which, given his 3 years of age and genetic code, is pretty impressive. Well, about a week or so ago, I was giving him a bath and I made the move towards the shampoo. He bolted upright and put his hands out to me in the universal "STOP" motion. Then he shouted out at the top of his lungs "DADDY, DON'T WASH MY HAIR. I WANT TO BE BALD!!!!".

Click to expand...

You quit beer?

Click to expand...

General Malaise said:

Giant Wooden Badger said:

General Malaise said:

I've got two new entries here....

#1 - Took my oldest with me out to dinner last night with a buddy and his son. Had a nice father/son evening and afterwards headed to the supermarket to pick up some groceries. Now I haven't lived on my own in over 10 years and haven't had to do grocery shopping by myself in ages. So we grabbed a cart and went to work. Up and down every aisle, battling over what he wants to pick out and what we really need to be eating at my new pad. 5-year-old arms reaching out to every sugar packed drug on the shelf to dump into the cart followed by a 35-year-old arm restocking.

He was sitting in the cart with groceries piling up high around him when we finally hit the last aisle - the one that sells man food exclusively: Cheese, Deli Meats and, of course, Beer. We dumped in some string cheese, a foot long summer sausage, a block of mild cheddar, a package of bologna and smoked turkey. Then we turned back around and headed out. My boy blurted out in protest - "BUT DADDY! YOU FORGOT BEER!". I smiled and told him daddy wasn't drinking beer in 2008. He looked perplexed, offered up a blank stare then stuttered out with sincere concern, "But....but what will you drink???"

I'm not sure where that fits in the 12 steps exactly, but....

#2 - My youngest son detests having water anywhere near his face, hair and, most of all, his eyes. He's a tough little *******, but you get a drop of water in his eyes and he shrieks like a boiling lobster. Needless to say, washing his hair is a royal pain in the butt and it takes an equal part of bribery mixed in with some good old fashioned over powering muscle; the latter of which should run out in about 4 years at his growth rate.

I told him months ago that if he didn't wash his hair, it would all fall out. Apparently, he took this information in, processed it and held on to it pretty tightly which, given his 3 years of age and genetic code, is pretty impressive. Well, about a week or so ago, I was giving him a bath and I made the move towards the shampoo. He bolted upright and put his hands out to me in the universal "STOP" motion. Then he shouted out at the top of his lungs "DADDY, DON'T WASH MY HAIR. I WANT TO BE BALD!!!!".

Click to expand...

You quit beer?

Click to expand...

Gonna give it a shot, yeah. I had a little ER scare after a 3 day bender in San Francisco last month. Thought my appendix or liver or pancreas or something was about to explode. Went on some meds to clear up an infetion in my stomach, had to quit drinking for 10 days while on the meds and kinda liked it. So...for now, I'm on the wagon.

Click to expand...

St. Louis Bob said:

General Malaise said:

Giant Wooden Badger said:

General Malaise said:

I've got two new entries here....

#1 - Took my oldest with me out to dinner last night with a buddy and his son. Had a nice father/son evening and afterwards headed to the supermarket to pick up some groceries. Now I haven't lived on my own in over 10 years and haven't had to do grocery shopping by myself in ages. So we grabbed a cart and went to work. Up and down every aisle, battling over what he wants to pick out and what we really need to be eating at my new pad. 5-year-old arms reaching out to every sugar packed drug on the shelf to dump into the cart followed by a 35-year-old arm restocking.

He was sitting in the cart with groceries piling up high around him when we finally hit the last aisle - the one that sells man food exclusively: Cheese, Deli Meats and, of course, Beer. We dumped in some string cheese, a foot long summer sausage, a block of mild cheddar, a package of bologna and smoked turkey. Then we turned back around and headed out. My boy blurted out in protest - "BUT DADDY! YOU FORGOT BEER!". I smiled and told him daddy wasn't drinking beer in 2008. He looked perplexed, offered up a blank stare then stuttered out with sincere concern, "But....but what will you drink???"

I'm not sure where that fits in the 12 steps exactly, but....

#2 - My youngest son detests having water anywhere near his face, hair and, most of all, his eyes. He's a tough little *******, but you get a drop of water in his eyes and he shrieks like a boiling lobster. Needless to say, washing his hair is a royal pain in the butt and it takes an equal part of bribery mixed in with some good old fashioned over powering muscle; the latter of which should run out in about 4 years at his growth rate.

I told him months ago that if he didn't wash his hair, it would all fall out. Apparently, he took this information in, processed it and held on to it pretty tightly which, given his 3 years of age and genetic code, is pretty impressive. Well, about a week or so ago, I was giving him a bath and I made the move towards the shampoo. He bolted upright and put his hands out to me in the universal "STOP" motion. Then he shouted out at the top of his lungs "DADDY, DON'T WASH MY HAIR. I WANT TO BE BALD!!!!".

Click to expand...

You quit beer?

Click to expand...

Gonna give it a shot, yeah. I had a little ER scare after a 3 day bender in San Francisco last month. Thought my appendix or liver or pancreas or something was about to explode. Went on some meds to clear up an infetion in my stomach, had to quit drinking for 10 days while on the meds and kinda liked it. So...for now, I'm on the wagon.

Click to expand...

Here I thought my plan to stop drinking during the week and for the month of February was crazy.

GLGB

Also, my 3.5 year old has been know to voluntarily bring me a beer every once in a while. He hands it to me while doing this, , and says "Daddy you like beeeerrrr??"

Click to expand...

General Malaise said:

St. Louis Bob said:

General Malaise said:

Giant Wooden Badger said:

General Malaise said:

I've got two new entries here....

#1 - Took my oldest with me out to dinner last night with a buddy and his son. Had a nice father/son evening and afterwards headed to the supermarket to pick up some groceries. Now I haven't lived on my own in over 10 years and haven't had to do grocery shopping by myself in ages. So we grabbed a cart and went to work. Up and down every aisle, battling over what he wants to pick out and what we really need to be eating at my new pad. 5-year-old arms reaching out to every sugar packed drug on the shelf to dump into the cart followed by a 35-year-old arm restocking.

He was sitting in the cart with groceries piling up high around him when we finally hit the last aisle - the one that sells man food exclusively: Cheese, Deli Meats and, of course, Beer. We dumped in some string cheese, a foot long summer sausage, a block of mild cheddar, a package of bologna and smoked turkey. Then we turned back around and headed out. My boy blurted out in protest - "BUT DADDY! YOU FORGOT BEER!". I smiled and told him daddy wasn't drinking beer in 2008. He looked perplexed, offered up a blank stare then stuttered out with sincere concern, "But....but what will you drink???"

I'm not sure where that fits in the 12 steps exactly, but....

#2 - My youngest son detests having water anywhere near his face, hair and, most of all, his eyes. He's a tough little *******, but you get a drop of water in his eyes and he shrieks like a boiling lobster. Needless to say, washing his hair is a royal pain in the butt and it takes an equal part of bribery mixed in with some good old fashioned over powering muscle; the latter of which should run out in about 4 years at his growth rate.

I told him months ago that if he didn't wash his hair, it would all fall out. Apparently, he took this information in, processed it and held on to it pretty tightly which, given his 3 years of age and genetic code, is pretty impressive. Well, about a week or so ago, I was giving him a bath and I made the move towards the shampoo. He bolted upright and put his hands out to me in the universal "STOP" motion. Then he shouted out at the top of his lungs "DADDY, DON'T WASH MY HAIR. I WANT TO BE BALD!!!!".

Click to expand...

You quit beer?

Click to expand...

Gonna give it a shot, yeah. I had a little ER scare after a 3 day bender in San Francisco last month. Thought my appendix or liver or pancreas or something was about to explode. Went on some meds to clear up an infetion in my stomach, had to quit drinking for 10 days while on the meds and kinda liked it. So...for now, I'm on the wagon.

Click to expand...

Here I thought my plan to stop drinking during the week and for the month of February was crazy.

GLGB

Also, my 3.5 year old has been know to voluntarily bring me a beer every once in a while. He hands it to me while doing this, , and says "Daddy you like beeeerrrr??"

Click to expand...

My 3.5 year old not only brings beer, but opens them with a bottle opener, throws the cap in the garbage and puts the opener back in the drawer.When Flags saw that, well....

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said 'no no no'....

Click to expand...

General Malaise said:

St. Louis Bob said:

General Malaise said:

Giant Wooden Badger said:

General Malaise said:

I've got two new entries here....

#1 - Took my oldest with me out to dinner last night with a buddy and his son. Had a nice father/son evening and afterwards headed to the supermarket to pick up some groceries. Now I haven't lived on my own in over 10 years and haven't had to do grocery shopping by myself in ages. So we grabbed a cart and went to work. Up and down every aisle, battling over what he wants to pick out and what we really need to be eating at my new pad. 5-year-old arms reaching out to every sugar packed drug on the shelf to dump into the cart followed by a 35-year-old arm restocking.

He was sitting in the cart with groceries piling up high around him when we finally hit the last aisle - the one that sells man food exclusively: Cheese, Deli Meats and, of course, Beer. We dumped in some string cheese, a foot long summer sausage, a block of mild cheddar, a package of bologna and smoked turkey. Then we turned back around and headed out. My boy blurted out in protest - "BUT DADDY! YOU FORGOT BEER!". I smiled and told him daddy wasn't drinking beer in 2008. He looked perplexed, offered up a blank stare then stuttered out with sincere concern, "But....but what will you drink???"

I'm not sure where that fits in the 12 steps exactly, but....

#2 - My youngest son detests having water anywhere near his face, hair and, most of all, his eyes. He's a tough little *******, but you get a drop of water in his eyes and he shrieks like a boiling lobster. Needless to say, washing his hair is a royal pain in the butt and it takes an equal part of bribery mixed in with some good old fashioned over powering muscle; the latter of which should run out in about 4 years at his growth rate.

I told him months ago that if he didn't wash his hair, it would all fall out. Apparently, he took this information in, processed it and held on to it pretty tightly which, given his 3 years of age and genetic code, is pretty impressive. Well, about a week or so ago, I was giving him a bath and I made the move towards the shampoo. He bolted upright and put his hands out to me in the universal "STOP" motion. Then he shouted out at the top of his lungs "DADDY, DON'T WASH MY HAIR. I WANT TO BE BALD!!!!".

Click to expand...

You quit beer?

Click to expand...

Gonna give it a shot, yeah. I had a little ER scare after a 3 day bender in San Francisco last month. Thought my appendix or liver or pancreas or something was about to explode. Went on some meds to clear up an infetion in my stomach, had to quit drinking for 10 days while on the meds and kinda liked it. So...for now, I'm on the wagon.

Click to expand...

Here I thought my plan to stop drinking during the week and for the month of February was crazy.

GLGB

Also, my 3.5 year old has been know to voluntarily bring me a beer every once in a while. He hands it to me while doing this, , and says "Daddy you like beeeerrrr??"

Click to expand...

My 3.5 year old not only brings beer, but opens them with a bottle opener, throws the cap in the garbage and puts the opener back in the drawer.When Flags saw that, well....

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said 'no no no'....

Click to expand...

Giant Wooden Badger said:

General Malaise said:

St. Louis Bob said:

General Malaise said:

Giant Wooden Badger said:

General Malaise said:

I've got two new entries here....

#1 - Took my oldest with me out to dinner last night with a buddy and his son. Had a nice father/son evening and afterwards headed to the supermarket to pick up some groceries. Now I haven't lived on my own in over 10 years and haven't had to do grocery shopping by myself in ages. So we grabbed a cart and went to work. Up and down every aisle, battling over what he wants to pick out and what we really need to be eating at my new pad. 5-year-old arms reaching out to every sugar packed drug on the shelf to dump into the cart followed by a 35-year-old arm restocking.

He was sitting in the cart with groceries piling up high around him when we finally hit the last aisle - the one that sells man food exclusively: Cheese, Deli Meats and, of course, Beer. We dumped in some string cheese, a foot long summer sausage, a block of mild cheddar, a package of bologna and smoked turkey. Then we turned back around and headed out. My boy blurted out in protest - "BUT DADDY! YOU FORGOT BEER!". I smiled and told him daddy wasn't drinking beer in 2008. He looked perplexed, offered up a blank stare then stuttered out with sincere concern, "But....but what will you drink???"

I'm not sure where that fits in the 12 steps exactly, but....

#2 - My youngest son detests having water anywhere near his face, hair and, most of all, his eyes. He's a tough little *******, but you get a drop of water in his eyes and he shrieks like a boiling lobster. Needless to say, washing his hair is a royal pain in the butt and it takes an equal part of bribery mixed in with some good old fashioned over powering muscle; the latter of which should run out in about 4 years at his growth rate.

I told him months ago that if he didn't wash his hair, it would all fall out. Apparently, he took this information in, processed it and held on to it pretty tightly which, given his 3 years of age and genetic code, is pretty impressive. Well, about a week or so ago, I was giving him a bath and I made the move towards the shampoo. He bolted upright and put his hands out to me in the universal "STOP" motion. Then he shouted out at the top of his lungs "DADDY, DON'T WASH MY HAIR. I WANT TO BE BALD!!!!".

Click to expand...

You quit beer?

Click to expand...

Gonna give it a shot, yeah. I had a little ER scare after a 3 day bender in San Francisco last month. Thought my appendix or liver or pancreas or something was about to explode. Went on some meds to clear up an infetion in my stomach, had to quit drinking for 10 days while on the meds and kinda liked it. So...for now, I'm on the wagon.

Click to expand...

Here I thought my plan to stop drinking during the week and for the month of February was crazy.

GLGB

Also, my 3.5 year old has been know to voluntarily bring me a beer every once in a while. He hands it to me while doing this, , and says "Daddy you like beeeerrrr??"

Click to expand...

My 3.5 year old not only brings beer, but opens them with a bottle opener, throws the cap in the garbage and puts the opener back in the drawer.When Flags saw that, well....

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said 'no no no'....

Click to expand...

Good luck with it. I gave up Diet Coke Crack at the end of November. Going really well. Much easier that I thought it'd be.

Click to expand...

General Malaise said:

I'm doing a half marathon in April and want to train for it. Giving up the beer should make that a little easier, though I'm certain I'll die doing this regardless.

Click to expand...

General Malaise said:

Giant Wooden Badger said:

General Malaise said:

St. Louis Bob said:

General Malaise said:

Giant Wooden Badger said:

General Malaise said:

I've got two new entries here....

#1 - Took my oldest with me out to dinner last night with a buddy and his son. Had a nice father/son evening and afterwards headed to the supermarket to pick up some groceries. Now I haven't lived on my own in over 10 years and haven't had to do grocery shopping by myself in ages. So we grabbed a cart and went to work. Up and down every aisle, battling over what he wants to pick out and what we really need to be eating at my new pad. 5-year-old arms reaching out to every sugar packed drug on the shelf to dump into the cart followed by a 35-year-old arm restocking.

He was sitting in the cart with groceries piling up high around him when we finally hit the last aisle - the one that sells man food exclusively: Cheese, Deli Meats and, of course, Beer. We dumped in some string cheese, a foot long summer sausage, a block of mild cheddar, a package of bologna and smoked turkey. Then we turned back around and headed out. My boy blurted out in protest - "BUT DADDY! YOU FORGOT BEER!". I smiled and told him daddy wasn't drinking beer in 2008. He looked perplexed, offered up a blank stare then stuttered out with sincere concern, "But....but what will you drink???"

I'm not sure where that fits in the 12 steps exactly, but....

#2 - My youngest son detests having water anywhere near his face, hair and, most of all, his eyes. He's a tough little *******, but you get a drop of water in his eyes and he shrieks like a boiling lobster. Needless to say, washing his hair is a royal pain in the butt and it takes an equal part of bribery mixed in with some good old fashioned over powering muscle; the latter of which should run out in about 4 years at his growth rate.

I told him months ago that if he didn't wash his hair, it would all fall out. Apparently, he took this information in, processed it and held on to it pretty tightly which, given his 3 years of age and genetic code, is pretty impressive. Well, about a week or so ago, I was giving him a bath and I made the move towards the shampoo. He bolted upright and put his hands out to me in the universal "STOP" motion. Then he shouted out at the top of his lungs "DADDY, DON'T WASH MY HAIR. I WANT TO BE BALD!!!!".

Click to expand...

You quit beer?

Click to expand...

Gonna give it a shot, yeah. I had a little ER scare after a 3 day bender in San Francisco last month. Thought my appendix or liver or pancreas or something was about to explode. Went on some meds to clear up an infetion in my stomach, had to quit drinking for 10 days while on the meds and kinda liked it. So...for now, I'm on the wagon.

Click to expand...

Here I thought my plan to stop drinking during the week and for the month of February was crazy.

GLGB

Also, my 3.5 year old has been know to voluntarily bring me a beer every once in a while. He hands it to me while doing this, , and says "Daddy you like beeeerrrr??"

Click to expand...

My 3.5 year old not only brings beer, but opens them with a bottle opener, throws the cap in the garbage and puts the opener back in the drawer.When Flags saw that, well....

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said 'no no no'....

Click to expand...

Good luck with it. I gave up Diet Coke Crack at the end of November. Going really well. Much easier that I thought it'd be.

Click to expand...

It's been a few days. No problems. As I get older, every time I drink too much, my stomach takes a beating and the recovery lasts much longer. So, we'll see how this goes. I'm doing a half marathon in April and want to train for it. Giving up the beer should make that a little easier, though I'm certain I'll die doing this regardless.

Click to expand...

Giant Wooden Badger said:

General Malaise said:

I'm doing a half marathon in April and want to train for it. Giving up the beer should make that a little easier, though I'm certain I'll die doing this regardless.

Click to expand...

Any chance you'll make a documentary about this event?

Click to expand...

St. Louis Bob said:

General Malaise said:

Giant Wooden Badger said:

General Malaise said:

St. Louis Bob said:

General Malaise said:

Giant Wooden Badger said:

General Malaise said:

I've got two new entries here....

#1 - Took my oldest with me out to dinner last night with a buddy and his son. Had a nice father/son evening and afterwards headed to the supermarket to pick up some groceries. Now I haven't lived on my own in over 10 years and haven't had to do grocery shopping by myself in ages. So we grabbed a cart and went to work. Up and down every aisle, battling over what he wants to pick out and what we really need to be eating at my new pad. 5-year-old arms reaching out to every sugar packed drug on the shelf to dump into the cart followed by a 35-year-old arm restocking.

He was sitting in the cart with groceries piling up high around him when we finally hit the last aisle - the one that sells man food exclusively: Cheese, Deli Meats and, of course, Beer. We dumped in some string cheese, a foot long summer sausage, a block of mild cheddar, a package of bologna and smoked turkey. Then we turned back around and headed out. My boy blurted out in protest - "BUT DADDY! YOU FORGOT BEER!". I smiled and told him daddy wasn't drinking beer in 2008. He looked perplexed, offered up a blank stare then stuttered out with sincere concern, "But....but what will you drink???"

I'm not sure where that fits in the 12 steps exactly, but....

#2 - My youngest son detests having water anywhere near his face, hair and, most of all, his eyes. He's a tough little *******, but you get a drop of water in his eyes and he shrieks like a boiling lobster. Needless to say, washing his hair is a royal pain in the butt and it takes an equal part of bribery mixed in with some good old fashioned over powering muscle; the latter of which should run out in about 4 years at his growth rate.

I told him months ago that if he didn't wash his hair, it would all fall out. Apparently, he took this information in, processed it and held on to it pretty tightly which, given his 3 years of age and genetic code, is pretty impressive. Well, about a week or so ago, I was giving him a bath and I made the move towards the shampoo. He bolted upright and put his hands out to me in the universal "STOP" motion. Then he shouted out at the top of his lungs "DADDY, DON'T WASH MY HAIR. I WANT TO BE BALD!!!!".

Click to expand...

You quit beer?

Click to expand...

Gonna give it a shot, yeah. I had a little ER scare after a 3 day bender in San Francisco last month. Thought my appendix or liver or pancreas or something was about to explode. Went on some meds to clear up an infetion in my stomach, had to quit drinking for 10 days while on the meds and kinda liked it. So...for now, I'm on the wagon.

Click to expand...

Here I thought my plan to stop drinking during the week and for the month of February was crazy.

GLGB

Also, my 3.5 year old has been know to voluntarily bring me a beer every once in a while. He hands it to me while doing this, , and says "Daddy you like beeeerrrr??"

Click to expand...

My 3.5 year old not only brings beer, but opens them with a bottle opener, throws the cap in the garbage and puts the opener back in the drawer.When Flags saw that, well....

They tried to make me go to rehab, I said 'no no no'....

Click to expand...

Good luck with it. I gave up Diet Coke Crack at the end of November. Going really well. Much easier that I thought it'd be.

Click to expand...

It's been a few days. No problems. As I get older, every time I drink too much, my stomach takes a beating and the recovery lasts much longer. So, we'll see how this goes. I'm doing a half marathon in April and want to train for it. Giving up the beer should make that a little easier, though I'm certain I'll die doing this regardless.

Click to expand...

I hope you have a contingency plan for your e-mail duties.

Click to expand...

Idiot Boxer said:

son@age 3 (while counting on the potty) "21..22..23...my penis is 23 inches long daddy"

son@age 5 (after repeating a request a number of times) "what, am I speaking French here?"

daughter @ age 3 (after getting soap in her mouth) "tastes like chicken"

daughter @ age 3 (answering questions about animal sounds) "what do cows say?" "moo" "...and what do mommies say?" "don't"

daughter @ age 3 (to mom) "I'v got a cute little bottom, you've got a big butt"

Click to expand...

General Malaise said:

I'm doing a half marathon in April and want to train for it. Giving up the beer should make that a little easier, though I'm certain I'll die doing this regardless.

Click to expand...

kentric said:

My six year old nephew picked his nose and was trying to wipe his treasure on the rug. I told him not to do that and he in turn mentioned how my son wipes his on his bedroom wall. My daughter confirms this and I go upstairs with my four year old son and lo-and-behold, next to his bed must be 20-25 little pieces of nose candy. I'm trying to act mad (even though I'm astounded at the volume he's produced) and say to him, "Kel. What the hell do you think you're doing wiping your boogies all over the wall?" His reply, "I'm making a spaceship." Any attempt at seriousness went out the door with that comment as I started rolling on the ground laughing.While on vacation, I let my beard grow a bit. I was considering keeping it after vacation so asked my then five y.o. son his opinion:Me: Kel. What do you think of daddy's beard.Kel: Daddy, you look hideousMe (holding back my laugh): How about if I just keep a mustache?Kel: nope, still hideous.

Click to expand...

kentric said:

My six year old nephew picked his nose and was trying to wipe his treasure on the rug. I told him not to do that and he in turn mentioned how my son wipes his on his bedroom wall. My daughter confirms this and I go upstairs with my four year old son and lo-and-behold, next to his bed must be 20-25 little pieces of nose candy. I'm trying to act mad (even though I'm astounded at the volume he's produced) and say to him, "Kel. What the hell do you think you're doing wiping your boogies all over the wall?" His reply, "I'm making a spaceship." Any attempt at seriousness went out the door with that comment as I started rolling on the ground laughing.While on vacation, I let my beard grow a bit. I was considering keeping it after vacation so asked my then five y.o. son his opinion:Me: Kel. What do you think of daddy's beard.Kel: Daddy, you look hideousMe (holding back my laugh): How about if I just keep a mustache?Kel: nope, still hideous.

Click to expand...

regularguy said:

General Malaise said:

I'm doing a half marathon in April and want to train for it. Giving up the beer should make that a little easier, though I'm certain I'll die doing this regardless.

Click to expand...

Would it be possible for me to fund a temp. life insurance policy on you with me as the beneficiary? Is that legal? I seriously don't know. j/k You ought to start a thread about your training regimen to entertain us help you stay on track.

Click to expand...

regularguy said:

General Malaise said:

I'm doing a half marathon in April and want to train for it. Giving up the beer should make that a little easier, though I'm certain I'll die doing this regardless.

Click to expand...

Would it be possible for me to fund a temp. life insurance policy on you with me as the beneficiary? Is that legal? I seriously don't know. j/k You ought to start a thread about your training regimen to entertain us help you stay on track.

Click to expand...

iamsmilin said:

My son is a late talker and at 3 he still has issues with pronunciation. He loves Thomas the train and all the characters and likes to say their names. At drop off/pick up he will say loudly the name of the train he wants to play with. One day when my husband picks him up, he says, "Pus-sy daddy!". The other father and the teachers all turns around and gives my husband the . My husband's response was "He means Percy."

Click to expand...

Bob Sacamano said:

iamsmilin said:

My son is a late talker and at 3 he still has issues with pronunciation. He loves Thomas the train and all the characters and likes to say their names. At drop off/pick up he will say loudly the name of the train he wants to play with. One day when my husband picks him up, he says, "Pus-sy daddy!". The other father and the teachers all turns around and gives my husband the . My husband's response was "He means Percy."

Click to expand...

If I had a son, I think I'd just smile proudly."Soon enough, my boy. Soon enough."

Click to expand...

General Malaise said:

Giant Wooden Badger said:

General Malaise said:

I'm doing a half marathon in April and want to train for it. Giving up the beer should make that a little easier, though I'm certain I'll die doing this regardless.

Click to expand...

Any chance you'll make a documentary about this event?

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well, I am writing a book.....

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goldenchild said:

"o-o-o-o-h... agerrr... agerrr... ummah"Had me (she's 8 months old)

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Bob Sacamano said:

General Malaise said:

Giant Wooden Badger said:

General Malaise said:

I'm doing a half marathon in April and want to train for it. Giving up the beer should make that a little easier, though I'm certain I'll die doing this regardless.

Click to expand...

Any chance you'll make a documentary about this event?

Click to expand...

well, I am writing a book.....

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Oh, sure, casually throw out a "You wanna co-write a book?" and then go on writing it by yourself. I see how you are. One of these days I'm going to find a way to get rich that somebody else hasn't thought of. Maybe a light that will help people driving at night see where they're going.

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Parmcat said:

About a year ago, my son (about 2 1/2 at the time) was told to go have a pee before bed. He was tired and cranky, and didnt want to have a pee...When I asked why he didnt want to pee he said:"My penis is too tired to pee"

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bakes said:

We stop at the Smokey Mountain welcome center near Cherokee NC. PBS is filming a movie about the first Cherokee encounter with the settlers. The head of the colony is holding a musket at his side. Above the two actors is a boom mike with a large yellow wind guard over it. My now-8-year-old son looks out the front window of the car, surveys what he sees, and completely straight faced says:"I think that guy is going to kill that mop."

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General Malaise said:

Bob Sacamano said:

General Malaise said:

Giant Wooden Badger said:

General Malaise said:

I'm doing a half marathon in April and want to train for it. Giving up the beer should make that a little easier, though I'm certain I'll die doing this regardless.

Click to expand...

Any chance you'll make a documentary about this event?

Click to expand...

well, I am writing a book.....

Click to expand...

Oh, sure, casually throw out a "You wanna co-write a book?" and then go on writing it by yourself. I see how you are. One of these days I'm going to find a way to get rich that somebody else hasn't thought of. Maybe a light that will help people driving at night see where they're going.

Click to expand...

We WILL co-write a book, GB! But this one's a little personal and, uh...well let's just say being authored under a pseudonym.

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commisholio said:

goldenchild said:

"o-o-o-o-h... agerrr... agerrr... ummah"Had me (she's 8 months old)

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My little boy (also 8 months) makes really funny faces and noises when he's filling up his diaper. First he's all grunty and , then even more grunty and then finally he sighs and gives me the big It's about the cutest thing ever. then I have to go change him and it's not as cute anymore.

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rick6668 said:

2 months ago, we are watching TV and "That Thing You Do" is on. So were watching with both boys (4 and 7). There's one part that comes up where one guy says to the other, "I'll kick your ###". Both of them laugh at this and think it's funny.

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General Malaise said:

Bob Sacamano said:

Oh, sure, casually throw out a "You wanna co-write a book?" and then go on writing it by yourself. I see how you are. One of these days I'm going to find a way to get rich that somebody else hasn't thought of. Maybe a light that will help people driving at night see where they're going.

Click to expand...

We WILL co-write a book, GB!

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iamsmilin said:

commisholio said:

goldenchild said:

"o-o-o-o-h... agerrr... agerrr... ummah"Had me (she's 8 months old)

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My little boy (also 8 months) makes really funny faces and noises when he's filling up his diaper. First he's all grunty and , then even more grunty and then finally he sighs and gives me the big It's about the cutest thing ever. then I have to go change him and it's not as cute anymore.

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My fun used to do a poop face too. It was the cutest thing! Now he's potty training and doesn't want to go number two on the toilet. So when I sit him down, I say, try to poo poo ok? He sits and makes the grunting sounds and the face but is obviously not trying.

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Bob Sacamano said:

General Malaise said:

Bob Sacamano said:

General Malaise said:

Giant Wooden Badger said:

General Malaise said:

I'm doing a half marathon in April and want to train for it. Giving up the beer should make that a little easier, though I'm certain I'll die doing this regardless.

Click to expand...

Any chance you'll make a documentary about this event?

Click to expand...

well, I am writing a book.....

Click to expand...

Oh, sure, casually throw out a "You wanna co-write a book?" and then go on writing it by yourself. I see how you are. One of these days I'm going to find a way to get rich that somebody else hasn't thought of. Maybe a light that will help people driving at night see where they're going.

Click to expand...

We WILL co-write a book, GB! But this one's a little personal and, uh...well let's just say being authored under a pseudonym.

Click to expand...

If you don't know I'm yankin' your chain by now...

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regularguy said:

iamsmilin said:

commisholio said:

goldenchild said:

"o-o-o-o-h... agerrr... agerrr... ummah"Had me (she's 8 months old)

Click to expand...

My little boy (also 8 months) makes really funny faces and noises when he's filling up his diaper. First he's all grunty and , then even more grunty and then finally he sighs and gives me the big It's about the cutest thing ever. then I have to go change him and it's not as cute anymore.

Click to expand...

My fun used to do a poop face too. It was the cutest thing! Now he's potty training and doesn't want to go number two on the toilet. So when I sit him down, I say, try to poo poo ok? He sits and makes the grunting sounds and the face but is obviously not trying.

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Apparently, my 2.5 year old decided he likes his privacy while pooping as he tells me to "GO AWAY, DADDY" when I try to check and see if he needs help. I about lost it the first time he did this. Now, he knows it's funny so all we hear is "go away _______".

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FiredMartz said:

Family vacation to Hawaii....wifey gets ua a smokin' deal on plane tickets from a contact that works for American Airlines that lives in Hawaii...older lady 60 - 65...wifey sets up a lunch date with the lady at a fancy restaurant to see her ,buy her lunch, and thank her for the 2 out of 4 comp plane tickets...My boys are 6 and 10 at the time..Wifey's friend..." Do you boys play sports?"Boys..." yah... we play Little League"Wifey's friend..."Nice, well I have Grandkids here on the island that are into sports..as a matter of fact, they play soccer and are really good at it "My 6 year old .." My Dad says soccer is Gay"Wifey with horrified look on her face "Uhhhhhh"

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The_Hoser said:

A few years ago, we're all out having sushi. My stepson (three at the time) is watching our waitress pretty intently every time she comes to the table. She notices it too and leans over to him halfway through the meal and says, "How are you tonight?"He looks up at her and says, "Swweeeeet boobs."

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Workhorse said:

After seeing Dan Zanes in concert, we took my 3 1/2 year old to Little 5 Points Pizza for lunch. This particular pizza place is staffed by tattooed death metal freaks and they are blaring some ungodly speed/thrash blare at top volume. My kid turns to me and says:"Dada, what is THIS song about?"Couldn't. Stop. Laughing.

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General Malaise said:

Warpig said:

Just the other day my almost 3 year old said the following as we were sitting at the dinner table eating lunch while he was digging in his ear and pulled out a clump of ear wax:"It's a booger...it lives in my ear"He was so serious as he sat there examining it before he flicked it across the room.

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lol...he's probably already tasted it and found out its nowhere near as satisfying as a booger.

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