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Funny things your kid has said (4 Viewers)

Sometimes it just takes a word. I was playing Super Mario Smash on Saturday with my 4 year old. We spent about an hour learning to play and were starting to get the hang. At one point I tried to jump around his character and do a special smash move, which he anticipated and countered, sending my character flying into the stratosphere with a flashing contrail and a scream.

He barely reacted, except for a barely audible, "Nope."
Ahaha... awesome.

I feel like THIS might be your son's future.
:lol: :lol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ei7pz6axpxg = 1:40 mark (rolling up on that ###) :lol:

 
Spent Saturday night sitting around a fire, cooking marshmallows, and hanging out with a neighbor and his kids.

We had finally called it a night and came inside and the kids were getting ready for bed. 8 year old daughter gives me a hug on the couch before bed.

Her: "Daddy... your shirt smells like fire but your face smells like beer."

 
Spent Saturday night sitting around a fire, cooking marshmallows, and hanging out with a neighbor and his kids.

We had finally called it a night and came inside and the kids were getting ready for bed. 8 year old daughter gives me a hug on the couch before bed.

Her: "Daddy... your shirt smells like fire but your face smells like beer."
:thumbup:

 
3 year old, pointing over the embankment as we're driving: "That's steep -- like Gordon's hill!"

9 year old: "It's really not that steep -- it's an illusion."

3 year old: "What's an illusion?"

9 year old: "It's...it's...it's a lie to your eye."

 
We're at the Quik-Trip on Saturday, and I have my 7 y.o. with me. We pick out some donuts for us and the rest of the family, so between us we have a couple of bags and a couple of drinks. We get to the counter:

Cashier: You guys need a bag for all of that?

Me: No, I think we are ok.

Son: Yeah, we're men.

Cashier: :lol:

 
Wife (34 years old) and 6 and 4 year old daughters were at Target to buy new bathing suits for them for our upcoming Feb trip to Florida...

6 yo: mom, what size are you in bathing suit?

Wife: 6

6 yo: well all they have are size 8, so you'll have to wait until you grow into that size. Maybe when you're 36

 
After reading homework on MLK and Segregation... I said "You know when Mommy was a kid they had segregation in her school"

My 6yo "Well..... At least she's White"

Me: "ummmm"

 
My 3 yr old daughter told me there is no school tomorrow bc it's Lex Luther King Jr. Day.
:lol:

Apparently my wife was telling my almost-4 year old about MLK day being today on their way in to school this past Friday.

And apparently my wife's PMS'in cuz she started to sob when she was telling daughter about who he was and why we honor him.

Annnnd... apparently the kid told her teacher that "MLK is bad 'cuz he made my mom cry".

So wife had to explain to teacher in order to clarify that we're not racists lol

 
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My soon to be 4 year old was sitting around farting the other day. Here is what he said:

"Dad, my butt keeps farting. Not the kind of farts that make poop...just the stinky kind."

Thanks for clearing that up for me son.

 
3 year old, pointing over the embankment as we're driving: "That's steep -- like Gordon's hill!"

9 year old: "It's really not that steep -- it's an illusion."

3 year old: "What's an illusion?"

9 year old: "It's...it's...it's a lie to your eye
This is scary brilliant.

 
My 3 yr old daughter told me there is no school tomorrow bc it's Lex Luther King Jr. Day.
:lol:

Apparently my wife was telling my almost-4 year old about MLK day being today on their way in to school this past Friday.

And apparently my wife's PMS'in cuz she started to sob when she was telling daughter about who he was and why we honor him.

Annnnd... apparently the kid told her teacher that "MLK is bad 'cuz he made my mom cry".

So wife had to explain to teacher in order to clarify that we're not racists lol
That rules.

 
On NYE, my 5 year old calls and says "Hi Daddy, on your way home from work can you stop at the store and get Vodka and gummy bears? Ok Thanks." 5 mins later another call from her "Oh and Grape Jello too"

Yesterday watching a recorded show she tells me "This episode is good, it will blow your mind"

 
I get home from work last week....walking into the house. My almost 10 year old son dashes to the front door and goes:

"Daddy, Mommy has not stopped farting since I got home from school....and man do they stink".

I just about pissed my pants.

 
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Background: I wake up and am out of the house by 6:30am on Fridays to go work out with my trainer. So my daughter usually wakes up by 7:30 or so and plays in her room for a bit. We tell her that when her clock's first number is 8 she can go and wake mommy up. My wife is a night owl, reads in bed until 2am sometimes. Definitely not an early riser.

Wife texted me and told me that the nirad3ette (will be 4 in a few weeks) said "Mom, you're not a morning person but it's time to get up and get my breakfast."

:lol:

Kid's smart.

 
I've really got to stop playing video games in front of my 4 year olds
My 41 year old brother (bachelor with no kids) couldn't understand why I hid his GTA V game away at Christmas while my kids were around. He would start playing it and kids instinctively just stare at a TV. He wouldn't stop playing when they were up.
 
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Potty training w/ T.R. Jr.:

I was teaching him that when he finished peeing, to push his unit down into his pull-up in the "foot-facing" position case of dribbling, and for general transport purposes. At first, I saw that he was just pulling his pull-up straight up, leaving his %^&*@! in the "upward-facing" position. So I told him again to tuck it downwards when he finished.

He looked at me, shook his head, and said, "Daddy, my pee-pee's not listening to me."

Get used to it son. Get used to it.

 
I've really got to stop playing video games in front of my 4 year olds
My 41 year old brother (bachelor with no kids) couldn't understand why I hid his GTA V game away at Christmas while my kids were around. He would start playing it and

kids instinctively just stare at a TV. He wouldn't stop playing when they were up.
I tend to swear, a lot. Kids: dad!!!! those are bad words

Me: let's not tell mommy.

 
My 2.5 year old can not enunciate the "L" in clock. Yesterday I taught him to say "Mommy wants daddy's clock". It's so cute :lmao:
My kid had that issue when he was 2 also. We're close friends with another couple who definitely took advantage of that. Their daughter turns one tomorrow. REVENGE WILL BE MINE!

 
Potty training w/ T.R. Jr.:

I was teaching him that when he finished peeing, to push his unit down into his pull-up in the "foot-facing" position case of dribbling, and for general transport purposes. At first, I saw that he was just pulling his pull-up straight up, leaving his %^&*@! in the "upward-facing" position. So I told him again to tuck it downwards when he finished.

He looked at me, shook his head, and said, "Daddy, my pee-pee's not listening to me."

Get used to it son. Get used to it.
"you'll shoot your eye out"

 
My 10yr and 7yr old girls were thinking what would be a cool sith name for themselves. With sibling rivalry running rampant between the two, my 7yr old tells my 10yr old:

"I know...you can be Darth Assface!"

 
My 10yr and 7yr old girls were thinking what would be a cool sith name for themselves. With sibling rivalry running rampant between the two, my 7yr old tells my 10yr old:

"I know...you can be Darth Assface!"
:lmao:

The Force is strong in that one.

 
I noticed my 3yo playing in her room, talking to herself with her stuffed animals (I really need to remember to record these, not "funny" per se, but need to remember what it all sounds like for myself forever and ever).

at some point, she stops and hums the "shave and haircut" thing and caught me chuckling/spying. No idea where she heard it in the first place, but I told her about the song- "shave and haircut... twooo biiits!".

fast forward to this weekend out at restaurant for lunch- and out of nowhere while coloring, she busts into it at the top of her voice. "SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT... TWOOOOO BIIITTS!!".

:shrug: the waitress and other customers all had a laugh. the wife, not so much.

 
Putting my 4 year old son to bed last night, I go to adjust the dimmer on his nightlight:

Me: Do you want me to turn this down for you?

Son: ....for what?.........Turn down for what?!

 
Sometimes it just takes a word. I was playing Super Mario Smash on Saturday with my 4 year old. We spent about an hour learning to play and were starting to get the hang. At one point I tried to jump around his character and do a special smash move, which he anticipated and countered, sending my character flying into the stratosphere with a flashing contrail and a scream.

He barely reacted, except for a barely audible, "Nope."
Ahaha... awesome.I feel like THIS might be your son's future.
:lol: :lol:
This one isn't as good, but at the 3:00 mark - WOW...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZaBhKK3di0

 
Son: what's your style? Like clothes.

Me: I don't know. Maybe classic casual or something?

Son: mine's collarless leather.

Me: :lmao:

(I have no idea what he thinks he was saying, but for the record he doesn't own any leather.)

 
from 7yo Floppinho's bedroom while he's doing his homework- "I like big butts. I do. I like 'em. Can't lie".

might have been a little too permissive with his Spotify account lately.

and now that I think about it... :lol: ... 3yo Floppinha has been calling big brother "butt dude".

 
Sometimes it just takes a word. I was playing Super Mario Smash on Saturday with my 4 year old. We spent about an hour learning to play and were starting to get the hang. At one point I tried to jump around his character and do a special smash move, which he anticipated and countered, sending my character flying into the stratosphere with a flashing contrail and a scream.

He barely reacted, except for a barely audible, "Nope."
Ahaha... awesome.I feel like THIS might be your son's future.
:lol: :lol:
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

 
On a business trip and was skyping with my wife/kid. After about 30 seconds he says "I'm done talking to you now, I'm gonna go play ninja turtles". Made me feel extra loved and missed.

 
from 7yo Floppinho's bedroom while he's doing his homework- "I like big butts. I do. I like 'em. Can't lie".

might have been a little too permissive with his Spotify account lately.

and now that I think about it... :lol: ... 3yo Floppinha has been calling big brother "butt dude".
my 5 yr old is obsessed with butts. Calls everyone buttmanHes also obsessed with saying "100 yrs ago somebody died and got killed by the bloody hand"

Yeah i have no clue

 
shadyridr said:
El Floppo said:
from 7yo Floppinho's bedroom while he's doing his homework- "I like big butts. I do. I like 'em. Can't lie".

might have been a little too permissive with his Spotify account lately.

and now that I think about it... :lol: ... 3yo Floppinha has been calling big brother "butt dude".
my 5 yr old is obsessed with butts. Calls everyone buttmanHes also obsessed with saying "100 yrs ago somebody died and got killed by the bloody hand"

Yeah i have no clue
:lmao:

 
It's 90 degrees and sunny today and I'm driving with my just turned 8yo son and 5yo daughter.

We're driving along the ocean and I take it in and stat saying "wow look at this weather guys! So many people in the freezing cold and snow wish they were here right now! You guys don't even know bad weather, this is all you ever see. You're so lucky to live in California!"

Son:"And you can turn right on red"

(Just then "We Built This City" comes on the radio)

Son:"This is my favorite song, turn it up!"

Kinda sucked the wind out of me there

 
Wife: "[3 year old] reminds me of Shirley Temple. The way she says things, everything sounds so important."

3yo: "Yeah. I have lots of important stories in my mouth."

 
Watching TV with my daughter and a DirectTV commercial came on. She said, "Where's Peekton High School?" I said I had no idea, why? She said, "He just said he was Peekton High School Rob Lowe." :lol:

 
It's 90 degrees and sunny today and I'm driving with my just turned 8yo son and 5yo daughter.

We're driving along the ocean and I take it in and stat saying "wow look at this weather guys! So many people in the freezing cold and snow wish they were here right now! You guys don't even know bad weather, this is all you ever see. You're so lucky to live in California!"

Son:"And you can turn right on red"

(Just then "We Built This City" comes on the radio)

Son:"This is my favorite song, turn it up!"

Kinda sucked the wind out of me there
Put him up for adoption.

 
It's 90 degrees and sunny today and I'm driving with my just turned 8yo son and 5yo daughter.

We're driving along the ocean and I take it in and stat saying "wow look at this weather guys! So many people in the freezing cold and snow wish they were here right now! You guys don't even know bad weather, this is all you ever see. You're so lucky to live in California!"

Son:"And you can turn right on red"

(Just then "We Built This City" comes on the radio)

Son:"This is my favorite song, turn it up!"

Kinda sucked the wind out of me there
Must have been driving around the same time you were...

my 5yo girls asked if it was the Muppets. Then proceeded to sing along.

 
My 6 1/2 yo son tells me, "President Kennedy was in a parade and got shot in the back of the head by a man in a tall building. President Lincoln was shot in a phone booth."

 

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