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hamster_13

I tried to commit suicide thursday

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First of all, I'm a guy who literally rolled pennies to eat for several months in my mid-twenties. I felt hopeless, like I'd never find a career that would earn me a decent wage, much less get me out of debt. (Film major at B.U., so $50,000 in loans, plus credit card debts to pay for film stock, processing, etc.)

Bottom line is when hoping to get a job that paid maybe $30,000 a year, looking at that mountain of debt was so frustrating and intimidating that I just stopped paying off my debt and had terrible credit for the rest of my twenties. I felt stuck in the mud.

Whereas I didn't have a felony on my record or the other problems you've got to face, I got through it by focusing intensely on what I could do at the moment to make things better. I worked my ### off and made sure that I seized every opportunity. I got a job interview in a field I wasn't really qualified for, but I read four books in the three days prior to the interview and that was so impressive to the interviewers they hired me anyway. I did this because I NEEDED to. Because once I had a decent job, I had security and could take a deep breath. Then it became easier.

And though the job I got was not something I intended to make my life, I applied myself the best I could every day. Soon I moved up the ranks, became well respected and was asked to form my own company with my boss at the time. That was eight years ago. My debts have been paid for six. My credit is now perfect. I own a house. I have started other companies.

Take this advice... Don't worry about the love troubles. Those are like a badly skinned knee. It'll heal and when you are a better you, you'll attract women. If the girl who just left you weren't a winner, she wouldn't be expected to stay -- now. Why should she stay when even you want to leave you? But this is temporary! Care about yourself not like you're yourself, but like you are a good friend. To do this, you have to be a good friend to yourself.

Step 1...

Figure out a way, immediately, to take the mechanisms of fiancial control out of your hands to fund your gambling habit. Have a friend or relative administer your finances while you enter a twelve step program. Don't make it possible to fall off the wagon and have someone you can call and talk to when you feel weak.

Step 2...

Plug away. Day by day. Each day, lay a brick. That's all. After 100 days, you'll have built a wall. After 500, you'll have built a house. Lay each brick carefully and correctly, then relax. Find hobbies you enjoy. Hell, it could even be watching TV shows. Just get yourself in a routine and isolate yourself from worry.

You are just suffering from a lack of hope right now, and from lack of security. Building one relieves the other.

I can tell you aren't the kind of guy that wants to give up. I'd rest this week. Rely on friends and family. ASK FOR HELP. Then, once you get some sleep, you'll have to work harder and smarter with a purpose... Get on a path where you have opportunity. Right now, that can be working at $8 an hour with the hope of making $15 in two years. Figure out a way to move up and manage people. Develop the characterisitics in yourself that make you invaluable and effective. Focus on these things for the next five years.

You're only 21! In five years you're only 26 and things will be taking shape!

But your personal answer is NEVER, EVER going to come from the quick score, from the gambling, even if you think you're now smart enough to beat the game.

Your answer is going to come from the pride, self-respect and fulfillment you have in laying that brick wall -- in having built something. And that brick wall in this case is your self -- a self you and others can rely on and who sees each year ahead as something to look forward to.

You will make it if you allow yourself to. Don't sabotage or be a fatalist.

You MUST seek help, but you should also not be afraid to be sincere and honest and ask for it from those around you. Don't worry about returning the favor now. That time will come someday -- trust me.

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This is ALL stuff that willl be irrelevant in 2-4 years down the road. Sack up, get to work. Get out of the house... don't ever gamble again. Get out and get some fresh air and sunshine. Lay out by the pool.... go for a jog... a bike ride. Are you a phyiscally active person at all?

Are you asking if he lifts?

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If I was you, this would cheer me up:

You are 21, newly single, and can have sex with a whole lot of young ladies (doesn't cost $$$)!

Just trying to help.

Yes, but now you've made me depressed. :(

Sorry GB. You'll always have the high level of message board abilities to fall back upon.

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I think posts about attempted suicide don't need to be judged whether or not someone is trying new shtick or not. I think treating it as the real deal is the only option here. If it is shtick, worse case scenario is someone made a lame atempt at humor and you bought it. If it's real

then all this guessing whether it's legit or not isn't really helping.

Hamster, good luck. Seriously, your "problems" are temporary and all can be overcome. It will get better, it always does.

This post isn't getting enough love.

GB and peace, Hamster.

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Hamster, Best of luck getting back on your feet again. At least you still have your life. It's your life you live. Nobody can change that. How do you feel inside knowing you're still alive? Are you relieved? Disappointed? What are your thoughts going forward? You only get one life, but you have unlimited chances and ways to change how you live. Don't end your life - change your life. Lean heavily on family. They will help you if you let them. We all wish you the best. Get well soon and don't forget to come back here and brag how you turned things around. :thumbup:

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If I was you, this would cheer me up:

You are 21, newly single, and can have sex with a whole lot of young ladies (doesn't cost $$$)!

Just trying to help.

Yes, but now you've made me depressed. :(

Sorry GB. You'll always have the high level of message board abilities to fall back upon.

:lmao: If only this paid the bills. We'd be rolling!

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I think posts about attempted suicide don't need to be judged whether or not someone is trying new shtick or not. I think treating it as the real deal is the only option here. If it is shtick, worse case scenario is someone made a lame atempt at humor and you bought it. If it's real

then all this guessing whether it's legit or not isn't really helping.

Hamster, good luck. Seriously, your "problems" are temporary and all can be overcome. It will get better, it always does.

Agreed. Even if it is shtick it still is something worth talking about and we're all better off for having done it.

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First of all, I'm a guy who literally rolled pennies to eat for several months in my mid-twenties. ..........

You will make it if you allow yourself to. Don't sabotage or be a fatalist.

You MUST seek help, but you should also not be afraid to be sincere and honest and ask for it from those around you. Don't worry about returning the favor now. That time will come someday -- trust me.

This was a well thought out and applicable post if the poster weren't ill, but he is. He knows not his true abilities nor limitations because of his illness.

If anything, print out Ham's post and put it your sock drawer, and when you are better, pull it out and read it.

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First of all, I'm a guy who literally rolled pennies to eat for several months in my mid-twenties.  ..........

You will make it if you allow yourself to.  Don't sabotage or be a fatalist. 

You MUST seek help, but you should also not be afraid to be sincere and honest and ask for it from those around you.  Don't worry about returning the favor now.  That time will come someday -- trust me.

This was a well thought out and applicable post if the poster weren't ill, but he is. He knows not his true abilities nor limitations because of his illness.

If anything, print out Ham's post and put it your sock drawer, and when you are better, pull it out and read it.

:goodposting: You need to do one thing right now and that's to get professional help/properly diagnosed. Don't worry about anything else. One step at a time.

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I clearly remember Hamster posting a gambling log from his sports book. It was detailed and very frenzied, an outlandish ride through a day or two of sports wagering where he was hitting all sports with seemingly no thought to what he was doing - essentially just a flame thrower. I remember the veteran crew of hard core gamblers just shaking their iHeads and saying "holy crap." I don't think this is a fishing trip based on the fact that this guy has before mentioned his gambling problems and provided very hard to fabricate logs of activity on online sites.

Hamster, you need to take control of your life. If you don't, you'll end up in prison or dead, whether it be suicide, recklessness or pissing off a deranged Canadian. You also need to grow up and your mother needs to cut the chord from you for good.

My suggestions to you are as follows:

1. Drop what you're doing right now and join the army or marines. You aren't capable of taking care of yourself and you lack discipline. The military will force you to grow up, will keep you away from the Casinos (for the most part) and will give you a purpose.

2. Call your parents and tell them this is your plan and as long as you are serving in the Military, you need financial relief from all debts owed to them. I'd offer to give the car back to your father. I'd offer to make monthly payments to your mother.

3. Call your credit card lenders and tell them the deal. You are struggling with the debt and need relief. They'll work with you.

4. Turn the page on the girl. It's over. All 21 year olds go through painful breakups. It's part of growing up. If you haven't been lied to, cheated on or hurt before this, consider yourself lucky. It happens to just about all of us. These things suck, but they make us stronger and smarter in the long run. Learn from it and if you're smart, you'll be able to prevent these things happening to you again.

5. You can't gamble. You make degenerate gamblers like me feel bad for you. I'm not a big support group, AA, GA kind of guy. If you want to stop, stop. It's on you. When you rely upon yourself to end a problem that's plaguing your life, you'll come out of it feeling great about yourself. Maybe one day you'll learn to gamble smartly, setting limits and avoiding the things that caused your destruction...like Online Blackjack (Which is rigged, by the way).

Over time, you'll grow up, you'll learn discipline, you'll be more wise and you'll be happy you didn't die. Life is a pretty fantastic gift and one day, you'll get to that place. But you need to work on yourself right now and I don't think you're going to get very far without drastic steps. Good luck and PM if you ever want to talk.

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See a doctor you trust. Hopefully he will put you in touch with a mental health professional.

Know that you will probably feel embarassed, but don't use that as an excuse not to seek help. Having the guts to admit you need help is a HUGE step and will be applauded by those that love you (even though right now you may feel no one does).

Don't be intimidated by the fact that you will probably be prescribed meds (Lithium at the least but possibly others if you really are bipolar). Again, you may feel embarassed that you have to take meds...don't be. Millions of people have similar issues and are being treated so you are not alone.

Find a support group. It may sound cheesy but they work. In a selfish way, it may help you to see others who are more ####### up than you feel you are (not being disrespectful at all - it is amazing what perspective you can get from others experiences).

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I clearly remember Hamster posting a gambling log from his sports book. It was detailed and very frenzied, an outlandish ride through a day or two of sports wagering where he was hitting all sports with seemingly no thought to what he was doing - essentially just a flame thrower. I remember the veteran crew of hard core gamblers just shaking their iHeads and saying "holy crap." I don't think this is a fishing trip based on the fact that this guy has before mentioned his gambling problems and provided very hard to fabricate logs of activity on online sites.

Hamster, you need to take control of your life. If you don't, you'll end up in prison or dead, whether it be suicide, recklessness or pissing off a deranged Canadian. You also need to grow up and your mother needs to cut the chord from you for good.

My suggestions to you are as follows:

1. Drop what you're doing right now and join the army or marines. You aren't capable of taking care of yourself and you lack discipline. The military will force you to grow up, will keep you away from the Casinos (for the most part) and will give you a purpose.

2. Call your parents and tell them this is your plan and as long as you are serving in the Military, you need financial relief from all debts owed to them. I'd offer to give the car back to your father. I'd offer to make monthly payments to your mother.

3. Call your credit card lenders and tell them the deal. You are struggling with the debt and need relief. They'll work with you.

4. Turn the page on the girl. It's over. All 21 year olds go through painful breakups. It's part of growing up. If you haven't been lied to, cheated on or hurt before this, consider yourself lucky. It happens to just about all of us. These things suck, but they make us stronger and smarter in the long run. Learn from it and if you're smart, you'll be able to prevent these things happening to you again.

5. You can't gamble. You make degenerate gamblers like me feel bad for you. I'm not a big support group, AA, GA kind of guy. If you want to stop, stop. It's on you. When you rely upon yourself to end a problem that's plaguing your life, you'll come out of it feeling great about yourself. Maybe one day you'll learn to gamble smartly, setting limits and avoiding the things that caused your destruction...like Online Blackjack (Which is rigged, by the way).

Over time, you'll grow up, you'll learn discipline, you'll be more wise and you'll be happy you didn't die. Life is a pretty fantastic gift and one day, you'll get to that place. But you need to work on yourself right now and I don't think you're going to get very far with drastic steps. Good luck and PM if you ever want to talk.

Nice post GM. :thumbup:

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My suggestions to you are as follows:

1. Drop what you're doing right now and join the army or marines. You aren't capable of taking care of yourself and you lack discipline. The military will force you to grow up, will keep you away from the Casinos (for the most part) and will give you a purpose.

Yes, I'm sure being in the middle of a war will do wonders for his mental health.

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My suggestions to you are as follows:

1.  Drop what you're doing right now and join the army or marines.  You aren't capable of taking care of yourself and you lack discipline.  The military will force you to grow up, will keep you away from the Casinos (for the most part) and will give you a purpose.

Yes, I'm sure being in the middle of a war will do wonders for his mental health.

I'm fairly certain it'll help with the gambling...which I'm right certain is the cause for most of his malaise.

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I clearly remember Hamster posting a gambling log from his sports book. It was detailed and very frenzied, an outlandish ride through a day or two of sports wagering where he was hitting all sports with seemingly no thought to what he was doing - essentially just a flame thrower. I remember the veteran crew of hard core gamblers just shaking their iHeads and saying "holy crap." I don't think this is a fishing trip based on the fact that this guy has before mentioned his gambling problems and provided very hard to fabricate logs of activity on online sites.

Hamster, you need to take control of your life. If you don't, you'll end up in prison or dead, whether it be suicide, recklessness or pissing off a deranged Canadian. You also need to grow up and your mother needs to cut the chord from you for good.

My suggestions to you are as follows:

1. Drop what you're doing right now and join the army or marines. You aren't capable of taking care of yourself and you lack discipline. The military will force you to grow up, will keep you away from the Casinos (for the most part) and will give you a purpose.

2. Call your parents and tell them this is your plan and as long as you are serving in the Military, you need financial relief from all debts owed to them. I'd offer to give the car back to your father. I'd offer to make monthly payments to your mother.

3. Call your credit card lenders and tell them the deal. You are struggling with the debt and need relief. They'll work with you.

4. Turn the page on the girl. It's over. All 21 year olds go through painful breakups. It's part of growing up. If you haven't been lied to, cheated on or hurt before this, consider yourself lucky. It happens to just about all of us. These things suck, but they make us stronger and smarter in the long run. Learn from it and if you're smart, you'll be able to prevent these things happening to you again.

5. You can't gamble. You make degenerate gamblers like me feel bad for you. I'm not a big support group, AA, GA kind of guy. If you want to stop, stop. It's on you. When you rely upon yourself to end a problem that's plaguing your life, you'll come out of it feeling great about yourself. Maybe one day you'll learn to gamble smartly, setting limits and avoiding the things that caused your destruction...like Online Blackjack (Which is rigged, by the way).

Over time, you'll grow up, you'll learn discipline, you'll be more wise and you'll be happy you didn't die. Life is a pretty fantastic gift and one day, you'll get to that place. But you need to work on yourself right now and I don't think you're going to get very far without drastic steps. Good luck and PM if you ever want to talk.

Will the military take him with a felony on his record? If so, then yes, run (don't walk) to the recruiting office. They will fix this.

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I haven't read the rest of the posts, just yours. I have to say I completely understand though. I've been diagnosed as bi-polar myself and go through the suicidal stuff fairly regularly. Meds and docs can help, but it is a struggle. I'm not sure how much you really care to talk to a random shmoe on the innerweb, but by all means drop me a PM if you need to talk. I'm probably only here because I'm lucky enough to have a wife that believed me when I said I wasn't sure I'd be around the next day.

However things work out, the best advice I can give is to hang in there. I know all too well how much worse the depression makes things seem, but from an outside view of what you wrote, its not unpossible to overcome. Professional help is necessary though, I'm glad you seem to be getting some. Without meds and therapy, severe depression would be very hard to work through.

glll

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I clearly remember Hamster posting a gambling log from his sports book. It was detailed and very frenzied, an outlandish ride through a day or two of sports wagering where he was hitting all sports with seemingly no thought to what he was doing - essentially just a flame thrower. I remember the veteran crew of hard core gamblers just shaking their iHeads and saying "holy crap." I don't think this is a fishing trip based on the fact that this guy has before mentioned his gambling problems and provided very hard to fabricate logs of activity on online sites.

Hamster, you need to take control of your life. If you don't, you'll end up in prison or dead, whether it be suicide, recklessness or pissing off a deranged Canadian. You also need to grow up and your mother needs to cut the chord from you for good.

My suggestions to you are as follows:

1. Drop what you're doing right now and join the army or marines. You aren't capable of taking care of yourself and you lack discipline. The military will force you to grow up, will keep you away from the Casinos (for the most part) and will give you a purpose.

2. Call your parents and tell them this is your plan and as long as you are serving in the Military, you need financial relief from all debts owed to them. I'd offer to give the car back to your father. I'd offer to make monthly payments to your mother.

3. Call your credit card lenders and tell them the deal. You are struggling with the debt and need relief. They'll work with you.

4. Turn the page on the girl. It's over. All 21 year olds go through painful breakups. It's part of growing up. If you haven't been lied to, cheated on or hurt before this, consider yourself lucky. It happens to just about all of us. These things suck, but they make us stronger and smarter in the long run. Learn from it and if you're smart, you'll be able to prevent these things happening to you again.

5. You can't gamble. You make degenerate gamblers like me feel bad for you. I'm not a big support group, AA, GA kind of guy. If you want to stop, stop. It's on you. When you rely upon yourself to end a problem that's plaguing your life, you'll come out of it feeling great about yourself. Maybe one day you'll learn to gamble smartly, setting limits and avoiding the things that caused your destruction...like Online Blackjack (Which is rigged, by the way).

Over time, you'll grow up, you'll learn discipline, you'll be more wise and you'll be happy you didn't die. Life is a pretty fantastic gift and one day, you'll get to that place. But you need to work on yourself right now and I don't think you're going to get very far without drastic steps. Good luck and PM if you ever want to talk.

:goodposting:

But get professional help first.

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great posts by GM and mr ham.

i really cant add anything to what they said. i guess from a parent's perspective, understand that everything you have put them through is nothing compared to what you would put them through if you succeeded in taking your life.

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1. Drop what you're doing right now and join the army or marines. You aren't capable of taking care of yourself and you lack discipline.

I like this option, but only if he's of sound mind. I think he needs to get some psych analysis/help first, and once he gets a better grip on that, maybe he can join the military for discipline and possibly a career. doesn't the military do a psych screening before you can enlist?

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I'm fairly certain it'll help with the gambling...which I'm right certain is the cause for most of his malaise.

I just don't see how putting himself in a situation that often causes mental health problems is a good idea for curing someone of depression.

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1.  Drop what you're doing right now and join the army or marines.  You aren't capable of taking care of yourself and you lack discipline.

I like this option, but only if he's of sound mind. I think he needs to get some psych analysis/help first, and once he gets a better grip on that, maybe he can join the military for discipline and possibly a career. doesn't the military do a psych screening before you can enlist?

Pretty sure they're relaxing a lot of standards in our time of need.

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I'm fairly certain it'll help with the gambling...which I'm right certain is the cause for most of his malaise.

I just don't see how putting himself in a situation that often causes mental health problems is a good idea for curing someone of depression.

you're right. I honestly forgot we were at war when I wrote this. Maybe he should join the navy instead. Sailors get a lot of poon.

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Also, didn't he say in the first post that he was going for a psych evaluation? Wouldn't that count as professional help?

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If he doesn't want to die, why would he join the army at a time like this?

ok, jesus...i forgot about the ####ing war, alright? they don't talk about it on sports radio, it's not covered on the sports page and if we aren't talking about it on here, I tend to forget. When we're not at war, the military has traditionally been a good place for people to get their act together.

Maybe he could join the French army.

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If he doesn't want to die, why would he join the army at a time like this?

ok, jesus...i forgot about the ####ing war, alright? they don't talk about it on sports radio, it's not covered on the sports page and if we aren't talking about it on here, I tend to forget. When we're not at war, the military has traditionally been a good place for people to get their act together.

Maybe he could join the French army.

You do know we're at war don't you?

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Enlisting is a bad idea. If we weren't at war and gambling was his only problem, maybe. But I can't imagine boot camp is a good place to cure your depression. He's already living in a world of ####, after all.

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1.  Drop what you're doing right now and join the army or marines.  You aren't capable of taking care of yourself and you lack discipline.

I like this option, but only if he's of sound mind. I think he needs to get some psych analysis/help first, and once he gets a better grip on that, maybe he can join the military for discipline and possibly a career. doesn't the military do a psych screening before you can enlist?

Pretty sure they're relaxing a lot of standards in our time of need.

maybe, but I'd much rather give a gun to a guy with flat feet than a guy with mental problems.

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This is why people miss the point completely when they call suicide "selfish" or "an easy way out."

SOME of these people are so immersed in their own depression they assume that nobody else has it as bad as they do. "It's all about me, I can't (or won't) continue." I know families where one parent succeeded at taking their own life. Mental illness doesnt excuse selfishness. Explain to a child that "daddy didnt think seeing them grow up was reason enough to live" without saying his sickness made him selfish.

A guy in one of my FF leagues last year just killed himself two weekends ago. I only met him once, at the draft, and don't know his situation other than that he was a lawyer, married, and has a 15 month old kid.

My first thought was for the woman who now has to raise this kid by herself after this incredibly selfish act. That's compounded by the fact that a college buddy of mine, 36 years old, just died of cancer last month, leaving behind his wife and 12 month old. I know the most painful part of all of that for him was not being able to watch his daughter grow up, and help her do so....

now I'm depressed......

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Will the military take him with a felony on his record? If so, then yes, run (don't walk) to the recruiting office. They will fix this.

Felony or not the military won't take you if you have a documented history of mental illness. Unfortunately I know from personal experience :kicksrock:

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Something to consider when dolling out advice on how to "cure" depression.

It cannot be cured. If it is episodic depression (ie. caused by death of a loved one, loss of job etc.) it will run it's course, but there is little you can do to force resolution.

If it is the manifestation of a chemical imbalance in the brain, it can be controlled with medication, but not cured.

You can't "suck it up" and quit gambling and make it all better. You can't "give yourself discipline" by joining the army. You can however address your problems once you have treated the chemical imbalance.

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Enlisting is a bad idea. If we weren't at war and gambling was his only problem, maybe. But I can't imagine boot camp is a good place to cure your depression. He's already living in a world of ####, after all.

But why is he depressed?

Because he's in debt and his girl friend broke up with him.

Why is he in debt? Because he gambles.

Why did his girlfriend break up with him? Because he gambles.

So we'll just tell him to join GA and see a shrink and stop gambling and voila, he'll stop. I see that happening... :no:

he needs to be forced away from his routine life. otherwise, he gets bored and wagers out of control. these are the actions that are causing his problems. You think he can stop on his own, I don't. I think he needs somebody to babysit him until the addiction is not so strong. Call it gambling detox.

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1.  Drop what you're doing right now and join the army or marines.  You aren't capable of taking care of yourself and you lack discipline.

I like this option, but only if he's of sound mind. I think he needs to get some psych analysis/help first, and once he gets a better grip on that, maybe he can join the military for discipline and possibly a career. doesn't the military do a psych screening before you can enlist?

Pretty sure they're relaxing a lot of standards in our time of need.

:no: I joined the Navy a few months after we invaded iraq again. They diagnosed me as bi-polar in boot camp and i was home in 2 weeks

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Good luck Hamster. I see many have given you some great suggestions. My prayers and good thoughts are with you.

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Enlisting is a bad idea. If we weren't at war and gambling was his only problem, maybe. But I can't imagine boot camp is a good place to cure your depression. He's already living in a world of ####, after all.

But why is he depressed?

Because he's in debt and his girl friend broke up with him.

Why is he in debt? Because he gambles.

Why did his girlfriend break up with him? Because he gambles.

So we'll just tell him to join GA and see a shrink and stop gambling and voila, he'll stop. I see that happening... :no:

he needs to be forced away from his routine life. otherwise, he gets bored and wagers out of control. these are the actions that are causing his problems. You think he can stop on his own, I don't. I think he needs somebody to babysit him until the addiction is not so strong. Call it gambling detox.

You've got the causation backwards.

He gambles like he does because he's depressed.

He's incapable of a healthy relationship because he's depressed.

Misfortune doesn't create depression; depression magnifies misfortune. To be upset about gambling losses is rational. To be suicidal about gambling losses is irrational. He won't understand his gambling until he understands and addresses his depression.

On the flipside, he can quit gambling and it won't do anything to help his depression.

If he works on his depression, he has a much better chance of controlling his gambling.

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1.  Drop what you're doing right now and join the army or marines.  You aren't capable of taking care of yourself and you lack discipline.

I like this option, but only if he's of sound mind. I think he needs to get some psych analysis/help first, and once he gets a better grip on that, maybe he can join the military for discipline and possibly a career. doesn't the military do a psych screening before you can enlist?

Pretty sure they're relaxing a lot of standards in our time of need.

:no: I joined the Navy a few months after we invaded iraq again. They diagnosed me as bi-polar in boot camp and i was home in 2 weeks

Hope you're doing okay. :thumbup:

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If you had succeeded, the very thought of you would be a source of pain, guilt and anger for anyone who cared about you. No one would be remembering all the good times they had with you. No one would be thinking that their life was easier now.

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Enlisting is a bad idea. If we weren't at war and gambling was his only problem, maybe. But I can't imagine boot camp is a good place to cure your depression. He's already living in a world of ####, after all.

But why is he depressed?

Because he's in debt and his girl friend broke up with him.

Why is he in debt? Because he gambles.

Why did his girlfriend break up with him? Because he gambles.

So we'll just tell him to join GA and see a shrink and stop gambling and voila, he'll stop. I see that happening... :no:

he needs to be forced away from his routine life. otherwise, he gets bored and wagers out of control. these are the actions that are causing his problems. You think he can stop on his own, I don't. I think he needs somebody to babysit him until the addiction is not so strong. Call it gambling detox.

You've got the causation backwards.

He gambles like he does because he's depressed.

He's incapable of a healthy relationship because he's depressed.

Misfortune doesn't create depression; depression magnifies misfortune. To be upset about gambling losses is rational. To be suicidal about gambling losses is irrational. He won't understand his gambling until he understands and addresses his depression.

On the flipside, he can quit gambling and it won't do anything to help his depression.

If he works on his depression, he has a much better chance of controlling his gambling.

I didn't realize you had to be depressed to be a compulsive gambler.

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Enlisting is a bad idea. If we weren't at war and gambling was his only problem, maybe. But I can't imagine boot camp is a good place to cure your depression. He's already living in a world of ####, after all.

But why is he depressed?

Because he's in debt and his girl friend broke up with him.

Why is he in debt? Because he gambles.

Why did his girlfriend break up with him? Because he gambles.

So we'll just tell him to join GA and see a shrink and stop gambling and voila, he'll stop. I see that happening... :no:

he needs to be forced away from his routine life. otherwise, he gets bored and wagers out of control. these are the actions that are causing his problems. You think he can stop on his own, I don't. I think he needs somebody to babysit him until the addiction is not so strong. Call it gambling detox.

You've got the causation backwards.

He gambles like he does because he's depressed.

He's incapable of a healthy relationship because he's depressed.

Misfortune doesn't create depression; depression magnifies misfortune. To be upset about gambling losses is rational. To be suicidal about gambling losses is irrational. He won't understand his gambling until he understands and addresses his depression.

On the flipside, he can quit gambling and it won't do anything to help his depression.

If he works on his depression, he has a much better chance of controlling his gambling.

Then why are we told gambling is a disease?

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Enlisting is a bad idea. If we weren't at war and gambling was his only problem, maybe. But I can't imagine boot camp is a good place to cure your depression. He's already living in a world of ####, after all.

But why is he depressed?

Because he's in debt and his girl friend broke up with him.

Why is he in debt? Because he gambles.

Why did his girlfriend break up with him? Because he gambles.

So we'll just tell him to join GA and see a shrink and stop gambling and voila, he'll stop. I see that happening... :no:

he needs to be forced away from his routine life. otherwise, he gets bored and wagers out of control. these are the actions that are causing his problems. You think he can stop on his own, I don't. I think he needs somebody to babysit him until the addiction is not so strong. Call it gambling detox.

You've got the causation backwards.

He gambles like he does because he's depressed.

He's incapable of a healthy relationship because he's depressed.

Misfortune doesn't create depression; depression magnifies misfortune. To be upset about gambling losses is rational. To be suicidal about gambling losses is irrational. He won't understand his gambling until he understands and addresses his depression.

On the flipside, he can quit gambling and it won't do anything to help his depression.

If he works on his depression, he has a much better chance of controlling his gambling.

I didn't realize you had to be depressed to be a compulsive gambler.

I'm not depressed and I'm a compulsive gambler.

But I'm stoopid.

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Enlisting is a bad idea. If we weren't at war and gambling was his only problem, maybe. But I can't imagine boot camp is a good place to cure your depression. He's already living in a world of ####, after all.

But why is he depressed?

Because he's in debt and his girl friend broke up with him.

Why is he in debt? Because he gambles.

Why did his girlfriend break up with him? Because he gambles.

So we'll just tell him to join GA and see a shrink and stop gambling and voila, he'll stop. I see that happening... :no:

he needs to be forced away from his routine life. otherwise, he gets bored and wagers out of control. these are the actions that are causing his problems. You think he can stop on his own, I don't. I think he needs somebody to babysit him until the addiction is not so strong. Call it gambling detox.

You've got the causation backwards.

He gambles like he does because he's depressed.

He's incapable of a healthy relationship because he's depressed.

Misfortune doesn't create depression; depression magnifies misfortune. To be upset about gambling losses is rational. To be suicidal about gambling losses is irrational. He won't understand his gambling until he understands and addresses his depression.

On the flipside, he can quit gambling and it won't do anything to help his depression.

If he works on his depression, he has a much better chance of controlling his gambling.

I didn't realize you had to be depressed to be a compulsive gambler.

Poor logic there.

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Enlisting is a bad idea. If we weren't at war and gambling was his only problem, maybe. But I can't imagine boot camp is a good place to cure your depression. He's already living in a world of ####, after all.

But why is he depressed?

Because he's in debt and his girl friend broke up with him.

Why is he in debt? Because he gambles.

Why did his girlfriend break up with him? Because he gambles.

So we'll just tell him to join GA and see a shrink and stop gambling and voila, he'll stop. I see that happening... :no:

he needs to be forced away from his routine life. otherwise, he gets bored and wagers out of control. these are the actions that are causing his problems. You think he can stop on his own, I don't. I think he needs somebody to babysit him until the addiction is not so strong. Call it gambling detox.

You've got the causation backwards.

He gambles like he does because he's depressed.

He's incapable of a healthy relationship because he's depressed.

Misfortune doesn't create depression; depression magnifies misfortune. To be upset about gambling losses is rational. To be suicidal about gambling losses is irrational. He won't understand his gambling until he understands and addresses his depression.

On the flipside, he can quit gambling and it won't do anything to help his depression.

If he works on his depression, he has a much better chance of controlling his gambling.

I didn't realize you had to be depressed to be a compulsive gambler.

Poor logic there.

The point was that you are making a rather large assumption there for someone who is reading this off an internet messageboard.

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Enlisting is a bad idea. If we weren't at war and gambling was his only problem, maybe. But I can't imagine boot camp is a good place to cure your depression. He's already living in a world of ####, after all.

But why is he depressed?

Because he's in debt and his girl friend broke up with him.

Why is he in debt? Because he gambles.

Why did his girlfriend break up with him? Because he gambles.

So we'll just tell him to join GA and see a shrink and stop gambling and voila, he'll stop. I see that happening... :no:

he needs to be forced away from his routine life. otherwise, he gets bored and wagers out of control. these are the actions that are causing his problems. You think he can stop on his own, I don't. I think he needs somebody to babysit him until the addiction is not so strong. Call it gambling detox.

You've got the causation backwards.

He gambles like he does because he's depressed.

He's incapable of a healthy relationship because he's depressed.

Misfortune doesn't create depression; depression magnifies misfortune. To be upset about gambling losses is rational. To be suicidal about gambling losses is irrational. He won't understand his gambling until he understands and addresses his depression.

On the flipside, he can quit gambling and it won't do anything to help his depression.

If he works on his depression, he has a much better chance of controlling his gambling.

I didn't realize you had to be depressed to be a compulsive gambler.

Poor logic there.

How do you know he is clinically depressed?

What we do know is that he has a nasty gambling addiction that has caused a great deal of pain in his life and created problems he thought were too cumbersome to overcome. These are the facts he gave us. We don't know why he gambles recklessly, we just know he does and as a result, he's created mountains of problems. He has to stop gambling. I don't really care how he does it...you think couch trips will get it done, I think he needs to be babysat. Whatever it is, he's gotta quit that first. Apply a tunicate to the wound, then try to fix the problem.

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Enlisting is a bad idea. If we weren't at war and gambling was his only problem, maybe. But I can't imagine boot camp is a good place to cure your depression. He's already living in a world of ####, after all.

But why is he depressed?

Because he's in debt and his girl friend broke up with him.

Why is he in debt? Because he gambles.

Why did his girlfriend break up with him? Because he gambles.

So we'll just tell him to join GA and see a shrink and stop gambling and voila, he'll stop. I see that happening... :no:

he needs to be forced away from his routine life. otherwise, he gets bored and wagers out of control. these are the actions that are causing his problems. You think he can stop on his own, I don't. I think he needs somebody to babysit him until the addiction is not so strong. Call it gambling detox.

You've got the causation backwards.

He gambles like he does because he's depressed.

He's incapable of a healthy relationship because he's depressed.

Misfortune doesn't create depression; depression magnifies misfortune. To be upset about gambling losses is rational. To be suicidal about gambling losses is irrational. He won't understand his gambling until he understands and addresses his depression.

On the flipside, he can quit gambling and it won't do anything to help his depression.

If he works on his depression, he has a much better chance of controlling his gambling.

I didn't realize you had to be depressed to be a compulsive gambler.

Poor logic there.

How do you know he is clinically depressed?

What we do know is that he has a nasty gambling addiction that has caused a great deal of pain in his life and created problems he thought were too cumbersome to overcome. These are the facts he gave us. We don't know why he gambles recklessly, we just know he does and as a result, he's created mountains of problems. He has to stop gambling. I don't really care how he does it...you think couch trips will get it done, I think he needs to be babysat. Whatever it is, he's gotta quit that first. Apply a tunicate to the wound, then try to fix the problem.

My family has a long history of depression on my moms side. My aunt tried to kill

herself with pills a few years back when her husband of 20+ years said he didn't want to be with her anymore.

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Make sure to save this thread Hamster. Especially Mr. Ham's post.

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Enlisting is a bad idea. If we weren't at war and gambling was his only problem, maybe. But I can't imagine boot camp is a good place to cure your depression. He's already living in a world of ####, after all.

But why is he depressed?

Because he's in debt and his girl friend broke up with him.

Why is he in debt? Because he gambles.

Why did his girlfriend break up with him? Because he gambles.

So we'll just tell him to join GA and see a shrink and stop gambling and voila, he'll stop. I see that happening... :no:

he needs to be forced away from his routine life. otherwise, he gets bored and wagers out of control. these are the actions that are causing his problems. You think he can stop on his own, I don't. I think he needs somebody to babysit him until the addiction is not so strong. Call it gambling detox.

You've got the causation backwards.

He gambles like he does because he's depressed.

He's incapable of a healthy relationship because he's depressed.

Misfortune doesn't create depression; depression magnifies misfortune. To be upset about gambling losses is rational. To be suicidal about gambling losses is irrational. He won't understand his gambling until he understands and addresses his depression.

On the flipside, he can quit gambling and it won't do anything to help his depression.

If he works on his depression, he has a much better chance of controlling his gambling.

I didn't realize you had to be depressed to be a compulsive gambler.

Poor logic there.

How do you know he is clinically depressed?

What we do know is that he has a nasty gambling addiction that has caused a great deal of pain in his life and created problems he thought were too cumbersome to overcome. These are the facts he gave us. We don't know why he gambles recklessly, we just know he does and as a result, he's created mountains of problems. He has to stop gambling. I don't really care how he does it...you think couch trips will get it done, I think he needs to be babysat. Whatever it is, he's gotta quit that first. Apply a tunicate to the wound, then try to fix the problem.

My family has a long history of depression on my moms side. My aunt tried to kill 

herself with pills a few years back when her husband of 20+ years said he didn't want to be with her anymore.

Serious question here, but is depression really hereditary?

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seriously, people need to be cool or stay out of this thread. just spent about 20 minutes deleting posts in order to bring this one back.

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