A note to my coworker ... (2 Viewers)

kupcho1 said:

Dear next door stall neighbor: I never thought to check voice mail from the ####ter: revolutionary! However, I think responding to a few of the voice mails was sort of, well, odd. I'll be listening more closely to your voice mails in the future though, to see if I can figure out where you're leaving them from.And didn't you realize someone was in the next stall? Closed door not give it away? If you did know, that shows a whole 'nother level of trust (or naivete or recklessness) leaving voice mails when the person one stall over could erupt. Loudly.

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eoMMan said:

Demian said:

*Electricity goes out at work

*Everybody is in cafeteria waiting for an update

*A department manager says the following

"So does this mean we don't have water either?"

*I immediately get up from table and walk away

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If your workplace ran on well water, it wouldn't be that bad of a question.

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SeveredHorseHeads said:

kupcho1 said:

Dear next door stall neighbor: I never thought to check voice mail from the ####ter: revolutionary! However, I think responding to a few of the voice mails was sort of, well, odd. I'll be listening more closely to your voice mails in the future though, to see if I can figure out where you're leaving them from.And didn't you realize someone was in the next stall? Closed door not give it away? If you did know, that shows a whole 'nother level of trust (or naivete or recklessness) leaving voice mails when the person one stall over could erupt. Loudly.

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We have a "poop-talker" at work too. Has entire conversations on the can. He doesn't hide it from the people his is talking to. Usually sounds something like this "Hey, whats up. Uuuuuugh! What? I'm taking a dump at work. What that? Uuuugh."Wish I was making this up.

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SeveredHorseHeads said:

kupcho1 said:

Dear next door stall neighbor: I never thought to check voice mail from the ####ter: revolutionary! However, I think responding to a few of the voice mails was sort of, well, odd. I'll be listening more closely to your voice mails in the future though, to see if I can figure out where you're leaving them from.And didn't you realize someone was in the next stall? Closed door not give it away? If you did know, that shows a whole 'nother level of trust (or naivete or recklessness) leaving voice mails when the person one stall over could erupt. Loudly.

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We have a "poop-talker" at work too. Has entire conversations on the can. He doesn't hide it from the people his is talking to. Usually sounds something like this "Hey, whats up. Uuuuuugh! What? I'm taking a dump at work. What that? Uuuugh."Wish I was making this up.

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eoMMan said:

SeveredHorseHeads said:

kupcho1 said:

Dear next door stall neighbor: I never thought to check voice mail from the ####ter: revolutionary! However, I think responding to a few of the voice mails was sort of, well, odd. I'll be listening more closely to your voice mails in the future though, to see if I can figure out where you're leaving them from.And didn't you realize someone was in the next stall? Closed door not give it away? If you did know, that shows a whole 'nother level of trust (or naivete or recklessness) leaving voice mails when the person one stall over could erupt. Loudly.

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We have a "poop-talker" at work too. Has entire conversations on the can. He doesn't hide it from the people his is talking to. Usually sounds something like this "Hey, whats up. Uuuuuugh! What? I'm taking a dump at work. What that? Uuuugh."Wish I was making this up.

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I do it at home.....is that weird?But, yeah, I agree that it shouldn't be done at work.

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-jb- said:

CANDYGRAMS!!!!!!!1!!!!!1!!!!!1

Are you 12?

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RudiStein said:

To all concerned...Before you send out an email please triple-check to make sure everything is correct. Your one little mistake can cause a snowball effect of epic proportions. A perfect example from earlier today:John sends out an email but forgets to add the attached newsletter.7 people, yes SEVEN people reply-all that the attachment is missing.John resends the email with the attachment.4 people reply-all that there is an error on the newsletter.John resends the corrected email.2 people reply-all with 'thanks for fixing that'That's 15 emails, people. While this is an extreme case it is not all that rare.

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Mookie Blaylock said:

Dear Division President,Yes, I think it's hilarious that you're banging the sales manager (the one that's still married). I think it's hilarious when I catch you glaring at me for staring at her huge ###. In fact, this is now my favorite game, by the way. I find it amusing that you can't find a nice piece outside of the office. I also think it's very funny when you refuse to speak to me when we're both getting coffee or passing in the hall etc., y'know, like a 12 year old? That's why I was laughing this morning when I was getting coffee. Just so you know, she propositioned me the day before my wedding last year. I declined. Oh, and she has a mustache. Regards,Mookie

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GTBilly said:

Mookie Blaylock said:

Dear Division President,

Yes, I think it's hilarious that you're banging the sales manager (the one that's still married). I think it's hilarious when I catch you glaring at me for staring at her huge ###. In fact, this is now my favorite game, by the way. I find it amusing that you can't find a nice piece outside of the office. I also think it's very funny when you refuse to speak to me when we're both getting coffee or passing in the hall etc., y'know, like a 12 year old? That's why I was laughing this morning when I was getting coffee.

Just so you know, she propositioned me the day before my wedding last year. I declined.

Oh, and she has a mustache.

Regards,

Mookie

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Dear MookieWe do not bang, we make love. She is lost in the sea of a loveless marriage but for the sake of the children she stays with him even though he treats her poorly and she swears that she will leave him soon. Her ### might be huge but she has a thyroid problem for which she is taking a series of experimental drugs and other treatments hopefully the data scrounged from this will eventually help all women suffering from Thyroidurally Enduced Big ### Syndrome (T.E.B.A.S.). I do not speak to you because frankly your lack of basic hygiene physically hurts my nose and offends my taste buds.

When she propositioned you the day before your wedding she felt that you deserved a pity @$%#.

The mustache thing well damn ya she's got a furry lip but frankly it turns me on. Glad we got this sorted out.

Sincerely,

Division President

P.S. Check your inbox for your pink slip. It's been nice working with you.

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the moops said:

I want to be left alone when I eat. I would think you could figure that out considering I have told you 1000 times. Dont talk to me, dont sit down next to me, dont even look at me.

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MaddHatter said:

the moops said:

I want to be left alone when I eat. I would think you could figure that out considering I have told you 1000 times. Dont talk to me, dont sit down next to me, dont even look at me.

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Is this you?

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Cunk said:

People who work on the same floor as me. After you are done doing your thing in the bathroom please squirt the soap in your hand then take a step to your left and use one of the other 3 sinks so I don't have to stand there like an idiot waiting for you to finish washing your hands so I can get to the soap.

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AhrnCityPahnder said:

Cunk said:

People who work on the same floor as me. After you are done doing your thing in the bathroom please squirt the soap in your hand then take a step to your left and use one of the other 3 sinks so I don't have to stand there like an idiot waiting for you to finish washing your hands so I can get to the soap.

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I don't think I've ever seen a bathroom that didn't have a 1:1 correlation of sinks:soap dispensers.

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AhrnCityPahnder said:

Cunk said:

People who work on the same floor as me. After you are done doing your thing in the bathroom please squirt the soap in your hand then take a step to your left and use one of the other 3 sinks so I don't have to stand there like an idiot waiting for you to finish washing your hands so I can get to the soap.

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I don't think I've ever seen a bathroom that didn't have a 1:1 correlation of sinks:soap dispensers.

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MaddHatter said:

AhrnCityPahnder said:

Cunk said:

People who work on the same floor as me. After you are done doing your thing in the bathroom please squirt the soap in your hand then take a step to your left and use one of the other 3 sinks so I don't have to stand there like an idiot waiting for you to finish washing your hands so I can get to the soap.

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I don't think I've ever seen a bathroom that didn't have a 1:1 correlation of sinks:soap dispensers.

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bunk.

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rodg12 said:

MaddHatter said:

AhrnCityPahnder said:

Cunk said:

People who work on the same floor as me. After you are done doing your thing in the bathroom please squirt the soap in your hand then take a step to your left and use one of the other 3 sinks so I don't have to stand there like an idiot waiting for you to finish washing your hands so I can get to the soap.

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I don't think I've ever seen a bathroom that didn't have a 1:1 correlation of sinks:soap dispensers.

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bunk.

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3 sinks to 2 dispensers is very standard.

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bakes said:

rodg12 said:

MaddHatter said:

AhrnCityPahnder said:

Cunk said:

People who work on the same floor as me. After you are done doing your thing in the bathroom please squirt the soap in your hand then take a step to your left and use one of the other 3 sinks so I don't have to stand there like an idiot waiting for you to finish washing your hands so I can get to the soap.

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I don't think I've ever seen a bathroom that didn't have a 1:1 correlation of sinks:soap dispensers.

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bunk.

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3 sinks to 2 dispensers is very standard.

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Don't forget the people who, after they get the paper towel from the dispenser, continue to stand directly in front of the dispenser so that nobody else can get to the dispenser until they've finished drying their hands. Two of them were in the men's room at the same time today, occupying both dispensers despite there being plenty of room to step away and let others use them. So there I stood with dripping wet hands while these two yutzes blithely dried away for 15 or 20 seconds, oblivious to anyone else nearby and "excuse me."

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facook said:

"Valentimes?" SERIOUSLY?!

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TommyGilmore said:

facook said:

"Valentimes?" SERIOUSLY?!

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Probably a "30 Rock" reference.

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Disco Stu said:

Disco Stu said:

Disco Stu said:

Dear Boss,"Exceeds expectations" again? How is that possible? Exactly how low are expectations in this organization? I apply myself roughly 5 hours per week. The rest of the time is spent on this message board. I regularly leave work thinking "god, I did nothing productive today", and yet apparently others are happy with the "work" I'm doing. Bizarre.Signed,Once again shuked by the glowing reviews

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Again? Really???

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Yearly review time once again...Still applies.

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Disco Stu said:

Disco Stu said:

Disco Stu said:

Disco Stu said:

Dear Boss,"Exceeds expectations" again? How is that possible? Exactly how low are expectations in this organization? I apply myself roughly 5 hours per week. The rest of the time is spent on this message board. I regularly leave work thinking "god, I did nothing productive today", and yet apparently others are happy with the "work" I'm doing. Bizarre.Signed,Once again shuked by the glowing reviews

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Again? Really???

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Yearly review time once again...Still applies.

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Disco Stu said:

Disco Stu said:

Disco Stu said:

Disco Stu said:

Dear Boss,"Exceeds expectations" again? How is that possible? Exactly how low are expectations in this organization? I apply myself roughly 5 hours per week. The rest of the time is spent on this message board. I regularly leave work thinking "god, I did nothing productive today", and yet apparently others are happy with the "work" I'm doing. Bizarre.Signed,Once again shuked by the glowing reviews

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Again? Really???

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Yearly review time once again...Still applies.

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Sack-Religious said:

Dear former co-worker, hypochondriac, crazy ladyYou’re apparently a life-coach. For who? I sure hope they don’t follow your example because they’ll likely end up worse than they are now. You can't get your own poop in a group, and you’re supposed to mentor other people to be better in life?1) You are completely unreasonable and quite often a complete and utter bwitch to your colleagues. When someone calls you on it, you literally begin crying and playing the victim because everyone is so mean to you. This is a repetitive cycle and everyone’s caught on.2) Thanks for emailing in sick that day with the very graphic and detailed description of how your dogs had vomited and added that it was so disgusting that you then began to vomit all over the place, which with then followed by you having diarrhea throughout the night. At least you didn’t include pics.3) Thanks for the email stating that you were going to be late the other day. Your cable wasn’t working last night, you say? So you’re going to wait until 8 am to go to the store to buy batteries in case it’s the batteries in the remote that aren’t working. Interesting. Then, if that doesn’t work, you’re going to call the cable company to see when they can come for a service call. Of course, by the time you got your batteries and made the service call, they couldn’t come until later that day and you had to wait around for them, just in case they came early. Right.4)This past Monday was “Family Day,” a relatively new holiday in our province, and we Federal employees don’t get that day off. Imagine everyone’s surprise when you were “sick” on Monday. I’m glad that you took the time to explain that your dogs are like family and that since it was Family Day, afterall, it was better for you to stay at home with your “family”.Please find a new job.

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Sack-Religious said:

Dear former co-worker, hypochondriac, crazy lady

You’re apparently a life-coach. For who? I sure hope they don’t follow your example because they’ll likely end up worse than they are now. You can't get your own poop in a group, and you’re supposed to mentor other people to be better in life?

1) You are completely unreasonable and quite often a complete and utter bwitch to your colleagues. When someone calls you on it, you literally begin crying and playing the victim because everyone is so mean to you. This is a repetitive cycle and everyone’s caught on.

2) Thanks for emailing in sick that day with the very graphic and detailed description of how your dogs had vomited and added that it was so disgusting that you then began to vomit all over the place, which with then followed by you having diarrhea throughout the night. At least you didn’t include pics.

3) Thanks for the email stating that you were going to be late the other day. Your cable wasn’t working last night, you say? So you’re going to wait until 8 am to go to the store to buy batteries in case it’s the batteries in the remote that aren’t working. Interesting. Then, if that doesn’t work, you’re going to call the cable company to see when they can come for a service call. Of course, by the time you got your batteries and made the service call, they couldn’t come until later that day and you had to wait around for them, just in case they came early. Right.

4)This past Monday was “Family Day,” a relatively new holiday in our province, and we Federal employees don’t get that day off. Imagine everyone’s surprise when you were “sick” on Monday. I’m glad that you took the time to explain that your dogs are like family and that since it was Family Day, afterall, it was better for you to stay at home with your “family”.

Please find a new job.

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Sack-Religious said:

Dear former co-worker, hypochondriac, crazy ladyYou’re apparently a life-coach. For who? I sure hope they don’t follow your example because they’ll likely end up worse than they are now. You can't get your own poop in a group, and you’re supposed to mentor other people to be better in life?1) You are completely unreasonable and quite often a complete and utter bwitch to your colleagues. When someone calls you on it, you literally begin crying and playing the victim because everyone is so mean to you. This is a repetitive cycle and everyone’s caught on.2) Thanks for emailing in sick that day with the very graphic and detailed description of how your dogs had vomited and added that it was so disgusting that you then began to vomit all over the place, which with then followed by you having diarrhea throughout the night. At least you didn’t include pics.3) Thanks for the email stating that you were going to be late the other day. Your cable wasn’t working last night, you say? So you’re going to wait until 8 am to go to the store to buy batteries in case it’s the batteries in the remote that aren’t working. Interesting. Then, if that doesn’t work, you’re going to call the cable company to see when they can come for a service call. Of course, by the time you got your batteries and made the service call, they couldn’t come until later that day and you had to wait around for them, just in case they came early. Right.4)This past Monday was “Family Day,” a relatively new holiday in our province, and we Federal employees don’t get that day off. Imagine everyone’s surprise when you were “sick” on Monday. I’m glad that you took the time to explain that your dogs are like family and that since it was Family Day, afterall, it was better for you to stay at home with your “family”.Please find a new job.

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Disco Stu said:

Disco Stu said:

Disco Stu said:

Disco Stu said:

Dear Boss,"Exceeds expectations" again? How is that possible? Exactly how low are expectations in this organization? I apply myself roughly 5 hours per week. The rest of the time is spent on this message board. I regularly leave work thinking "god, I did nothing productive today", and yet apparently others are happy with the "work" I'm doing. Bizarre.Signed,Once again shuked by the glowing reviews

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Again? Really???

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Yearly review time once again...Still applies.

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Sack-Religious said:

I’m glad that you took the time to explain that your dogs are like family and that since it was Family Day, afterall, it was better for you to stay at home with your “family”.

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Sack-Religious said:

Dear former co-worker, hypochondriac, crazy lady3) Thanks for the email stating that you were going to be late the other day. Your cable wasn’t working last night, you say? So you’re going to wait until 8 am to go to the store to buy batteries in case it’s the batteries in the remote that aren’t working. Interesting. Then, if that doesn’t work, you’re going to call the cable company to see when they can come for a service call. Of course, by the time you got your batteries and made the service call, they couldn’t come until later that day and you had to wait around for them, just in case they came early. Right.4)This past Monday was “Family Day,” a relatively new holiday in our province, and we Federal employees don’t get that day off. Imagine everyone’s surprise when you were “sick” on Monday. I’m glad that you took the time to explain that your dogs are like family and that since it was Family Day, afterall, it was better for you to stay at home with your “family”.

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Sack-Religious said:

Dear former co-worker, hypochondriac, crazy lady

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Disco Stu said:

Disco Stu said:

Disco Stu said:

Disco Stu said:

Dear Boss,"Exceeds expectations" again? How is that possible? Exactly how low are expectations in this organization? I apply myself roughly 5 hours per week. The rest of the time is spent on this message board. I regularly leave work thinking "god, I did nothing productive today", and yet apparently others are happy with the "work" I'm doing. Bizarre.Signed,Once again shuked by the glowing reviews

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Again? Really???

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Yearly review time once again...Still applies.

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Sack-Religious said:

I've gone on the record in this thread stating my disdain for people who microwave fish at the office, but some of you people are just a smidgen over the top.

Yes, some idiot microwaved fish. It stunk up a good portion of our work area and considering the microwave is about 10 paces from my cube, I'm just as disgusted as the rest of you. Especially since the kitchen area is right next to the men's washroom (that smells like the slums of Calcutta at the best of times) and got infinitesimally worse with the added odour of overcooked, microwaved fish.

But, was it really necessary to form what can only be described as a lynch mob to find the culprit? Marching up and down the halls almost yelling "who microwaved the fish?" and then berating the girl for a few minutes, might have been a little excessive. While it was funny as hell to see, do you think it might have been a little over the top?

At the end of the day though, mission accomplished. I don't think anyone will be microwaving fish here again. So, for that, I am thankful.

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RudiStein said:

To all concerned...Before you send out an email please triple-check to make sure everything is correct. Your one little mistake can cause a snowball effect of epic proportions. A perfect example from earlier today:John sends out an email but forgets to add the attached newsletter.7 people, yes SEVEN people reply-all that the attachment is missing.John resends the email with the attachment.4 people reply-all that there is an error on the newsletter.John resends the corrected email.2 people reply-all with 'thanks for fixing that'That's 15 emails, people. While this is an extreme case it is not all that rare.

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Sack-Religious said:

I've gone on the record in this thread stating my disdain for people who microwave fish at the office, but some of you people are just a smidgen over the top.

Yes, some idiot microwaved fish. It stunk up a good portion of our work area and considering the microwave is about 10 paces from my cube, I'm just as disgusted as the rest of you. Especially since the kitchen area is right next to the men's washroom (that smells like the slums of Calcutta at the best of times) and got infinitesimally worse with the added odour of overcooked, microwaved fish.

But, was it really necessary to form what can only be described as a lynch mob to find the culprit? Marching up and down the halls almost yelling "who microwaved the fish?" and then berating the girl for a few minutes, might have been a little excessive. While it was funny as hell to see, do you think it might have been a little over the top?

At the end of the day though, mission accomplished. I don't think anyone will be microwaving fish here again. So, for that, I am thankful.

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