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A note to my coworker ... (1 Viewer)

'Peak said:
'TxBuckeye said:
'kupcho1 said:
'shadyridr said:
No Im not gonna change the format of the template to 3 decimal places to save you time. :rant: It took you longer to write out that whole email asking me to do so then it did to change a # from 2 to 3 decimal places in Excel.
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This has to be a joke, right?
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Probably not. I had a customer call and ask me if I could give her the same spreadsheet but sorted on Name rather than Social. I told her she could just sort it herself, tried to walk her though it. In the end, I sorted the spreadsheet by name and sent it to her again. It was just that much less painful than talking to her anymore.
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I get the same types of requests. I had a client email me asking to remove 5 rows in a spreadsheet because it didn't go with her presentation. I offered the same advice of walking her through how to manage a spreadsheet, but she wasn't getting it. :wall:
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If these people were smart enough to do it themselves they wouldn't pay us ridiculous amounts of money to do it for them. Be thankful for the uneducated.
 
'Ramblin Wreck said:
'Peak said:
'TxBuckeye said:
'kupcho1 said:
'shadyridr said:
No Im not gonna change the format of the template to 3 decimal places to save you time. :rant: It took you longer to write out that whole email asking me to do so then it did to change a # from 2 to 3 decimal places in Excel.
Click to expand...
This has to be a joke, right?
Click to expand...
Probably not. I had a customer call and ask me if I could give her the same spreadsheet but sorted on Name rather than Social. I told her she could just sort it herself, tried to walk her though it. In the end, I sorted the spreadsheet by name and sent it to her again. It was just that much less painful than talking to her anymore.
Click to expand...
I get the same types of requests. I had a client email me asking to remove 5 rows in a spreadsheet because it didn't go with her presentation. I offered the same advice of walking her through how to manage a spreadsheet, but she wasn't getting it. :wall:
Click to expand...
If these people were smart enough to do it themselves they wouldn't pay us ridiculous amounts of money to do it for them. Be thankful for the uneducated.
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It's not always the uneducated. MBA/Sr Management types can have little to no understanding of spreadhseets. Co-workers asking me to separate new from renew orders when there is an entire column dedicated to that field.
 
No, I'm not constantly disagreeing with you because I'm mad about something. I'm constantly disagreeing with you because you're always wrong.

 
'Ramblin Wreck said:
'Peak said:
'TxBuckeye said:
'kupcho1 said:
'shadyridr said:
No Im not gonna change the format of the template to 3 decimal places to save you time. :rant: It took you longer to write out that whole email asking me to do so then it did to change a # from 2 to 3 decimal places in Excel.
Click to expand...
This has to be a joke, right?
Click to expand...
Probably not. I had a customer call and ask me if I could give her the same spreadsheet but sorted on Name rather than Social. I told her she could just sort it herself, tried to walk her though it. In the end, I sorted the spreadsheet by name and sent it to her again. It was just that much less painful than talking to her anymore.
Click to expand...
I get the same types of requests. I had a client email me asking to remove 5 rows in a spreadsheet because it didn't go with her presentation. I offered the same advice of walking her through how to manage a spreadsheet, but she wasn't getting it. :wall:
Click to expand...
If these people were smart enough to do it themselves they wouldn't pay us ridiculous amounts of money to do it for them. Be thankful for the uneducated.
Click to expand...
actually quite the contrary. ive often found there is an inverse relationship between Excel skills and salary
 
'shadyridr said:
'Ramblin Wreck said:
'Peak said:
'TxBuckeye said:
'kupcho1 said:
'shadyridr said:
No Im not gonna change the format of the template to 3 decimal places to save you time. :rant: It took you longer to write out that whole email asking me to do so then it did to change a # from 2 to 3 decimal places in Excel.
Click to expand...
This has to be a joke, right?
Click to expand...
Probably not. I had a customer call and ask me if I could give her the same spreadsheet but sorted on Name rather than Social. I told her she could just sort it herself, tried to walk her though it. In the end, I sorted the spreadsheet by name and sent it to her again. It was just that much less painful than talking to her anymore.
Click to expand...
I get the same types of requests. I had a client email me asking to remove 5 rows in a spreadsheet because it didn't go with her presentation. I offered the same advice of walking her through how to manage a spreadsheet, but she wasn't getting it. :wall:
Click to expand...
If these people were smart enough to do it themselves they wouldn't pay us ridiculous amounts of money to do it for them. Be thankful for the uneducated.
Click to expand...
actually quite the contrary. ive often found there is an inverse relationship between Excel skills and salary
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You know what I mean. People pay "consultants" boatloads of money to do Excel work for them because they have little to no computer skills. Be thankful for it.
 
Thanks Art Director for the amusement this morning...

Agency email (approx. 200 employees)

I'll be in Kate this am. Hopefully by 9:30.

Sent from my iPhone

-----

Reply all

I hope your wife doesn't mind.

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Reply all

Late. Not Kate. Damn iPhone.

Sent from my iPhone

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Reply all (by the one employee named Kate)

My husband would like a word with you...

 
Dear Guy Who Never Had A Serious Girlfriend Before Hooking Up With A Single Mom Last Year At Age 40:

Please stop referring to her pre-teen daughters as "mine". It's getting creepy.

 
'offdee said:
Thanks Art Director for the amusement this morning...

Agency email (approx. 200 employees)

I'll be in Kate this am. Hopefully by 9:30.

Sent from my iPhone

-----

Reply all

I hope your wife doesn't mind.

----

Reply all

Late. Not Kate. Damn iPhone.

Sent from my iPhone

----

Reply all (by the one employee named Kate)

My husband would like a word with you...
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:lmao:
 
Dear boss, please recognize the disconnect when you tell me I should have let you know about the email you thought you sent me but didn't.

 
'Cunk said:
Dear boss, please recognize the disconnect when you tell me I should have let you know about the email you thought you sent me but didn't.
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Actual conversation yesterday:"Hey boss, what would you like me to do about that delivery issue I emailed you about this morning?""What email?""The one that said that after weeks of negotiation with the client, and planning on our part for 'just-in-time' finishing for the delivery date of April 10, the client actually needs us to deliver to one of their vendors by close of business on the day before.""What? We can't do that! We haven't set up for that! They can't ask for that now. I didn't see that email, when did you send it?""This morning."(Boss opens Outlook) "Well, I don't see it. What are you talking about? It's not here.""I sent it this morning."(Boss sorts inbox by recipient) "Sarnoff. Nothing. No emails from you. Are you sure you sent it to me? It's not here."(I walk over to his computer) "Click 'Deleted Items'. Go to today. That bolded, unread one with my name next to it."
 
'kupcho1 said:
'Marvin said:
'Keerock said:
'Sarnoff said:
Listen up lady,

We hire a lot of people for our projects. I know this means you have to deal with a lot of new-hire paperwork. I9s. W2s. That's fine. But what drives me bat#### is that you have to have the same conversation with every. person. who comes in to fill out paperwork.

"I just need to verify your ID. Oooooh, you're a Gemini. That's goooood. We like Geminis here. You know, your supervisor is also a Gemini. That means you're both smart but quietly hardworking."

"Can I see your ID? Ah, a Taurus. Hmm. That could be a problem. Billy in accounting is an Aries and if he's managing your project, that could be an issue because you guys won't get along. Let me call over there and check. (picks up phone) Danny? Who's managing the new project? Is it Billy? Oh, it's Wendy. OK, thanks. She's a Virgo, right? Thanks. (hangs up) Well, it's not Billy, but it's Wendy, who's a Virgo, so maybe it'll be OK but I'll have to keep an eye on it because sometimes you're both so headstrong things get tense."

"Nice to meet you. Can I see your ID? Oh, Pisces. Oh dear. We had a problem with a Pisces last year. Sometimes you can be too overconfident and then you don't check with us before doing stuff. Make sure that doesn't happen, OK?"

:hot:
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Next time you hear this, go into her office and ask her for her ID. "Oh, I see you're a bat #### crazy ##### who thinks astronomy actually means something. You're bound to annoy everyone around you with your senseless banter. I see a problem with this..."
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Astronomy is real, Copernicus.
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:lmao:
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:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
 
'Joe Summer said:
Dear Guy Who Never Had A Serious Girlfriend Before Hooking Up With A Single Mom Last Year At Age 40:

Please stop referring to her pre-teen daughters as "mine". It's getting creepy.
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It was creepy the first time he did it. The fact he still does it is just as creepy as the first time.
 
E-mail just received from a client:

Good morning Bob,

I have 4 charges for XXXXXXX on my credit card statement. I need receipts with explanations in the next 30 minutes so I can submit my expense report. Can you accommodate this?? For the future I always need receipts for each purchase e-mailed to me every month. Best regards.
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My reply:
I send them in the middle and end of every month. Are these the charges you are looking for? With an attachment.
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His reply:
I need them for the following amounts:

Charge 1

Charge 2

Charge 3

Charge 4
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My reply:
They are all on the attachment I just sent.
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It was REALLY hard to not put "again" on the end of that.His reply:

Excellent!
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:mellow:
 
Yeah SLB... I'm terrible at being courteous when someone is blaming me because they are ignorant. GB your restraint.

 
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Dear Receptionist,Everyone here is used to you complaining, non stop, about everything. You could win the lottery and ##### about it. It's uncanny, and if I didn't know better, I'd swear you were in on some hidden camera, how long will people put up with this #### type of game show. But no, you just complain all the time. But when I bring a new potential client in from Boston, someone I've been working on for 6 months, an account that would allow us to really grow, please shut the #### up. Just don't talk. Smile. If that's possible. Couldn't you surmise that complaining about the computer (which is fine when anyone else uses it, you're just stupid) or the client you just got off the phone with (you know, like everyone else youv'e ever spoken to, who you also ##### about) or your sons latest DUI (is that 3 or 4 now? Why does he still have his licensee?) that this may make my job a bit more difficult to close the account? He doesn't give 2 ####s about your stories, but is unsure how to get away from your #####ing force field (a skill we've all mastered by pretending to get a phone call or email we must get to).He's trying to figure out if he wants to send hundreds of thousands of dollars of business to us over the next 10 years, and I've got to close him. I've warned you he was coming. I've even asked the CEO to send you to lunch early to avoid you. In fact, despite your years of experience in the office, there have been more than 3 conversations in the past 6 months between me, HR VP and the CEO about looking for a replacement because your constant complaining, overly-dramatic displays of personal emotion, and your complete lack of ability to let any conversation NOT be about you and your problems. Seriously, a teething toddler with a diaper rash, gas and the benz would be less whiny. Maybe we should just tell prospective clients you are part of a hidden camera set up just to give them an out. Sincerely,The guy who's job it is to bring in money to keep you employed.

 
"Do you know what the definition of insanity is?" :excited: NO I'VE NEVER HEARD THAT ESPECIALLY NOT FROM THE LAST TIME YOU TOLD IT TO THE SAME GROUP OF PEOPLE LESS THAN A WEEK AGO YOU SURE ARE INSIGHTFUL CREATIVE AND ENGAGING PLEASE TELL IT TO ME AGAIN DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE IRONY OF SAYING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER ABOUT THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY PLEASE SHUT THE #### UP

 
'Kal El said:
I will say that at times, his stupidity/delusions were pretty funny. He saw a picture of a rhinoceros once, and said, out loud, "That's a rhino-saurus, you know, a dinosaur." We didn't correct him, because that would mean talking to him. He also thought he created a new breed of dog by mating his lab with his pit bull. We looked, and there are dog pounds crammed full of dogs with that exact background.He also swam with a swim cap on, despite being completely bald. The only hair on his head was his ugly goatee, which he used Just for Men on once it got too grey. I guess he thought it made him look more attractive. It just made him look stupid.He was also legendary for his inability to keep a wife. Reports vary, but when he retired, I think he was on #7. Oh well, his leaving means that this easy job is less annoying.
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I am loving this Kal-El, it is bordering on the delusional.
 
'pittstownkiller said:
'Kal El said:
I will say that at times, his stupidity/delusions were pretty funny. He saw a picture of a rhinoceros once, and said, out loud, "That's a rhino-saurus, you know, a dinosaur." We didn't correct him, because that would mean talking to him. He also thought he created a new breed of dog by mating his lab with his pit bull. We looked, and there are dog pounds crammed full of dogs with that exact background.He also swam with a swim cap on, despite being completely bald. The only hair on his head was his ugly goatee, which he used Just for Men on once it got too grey. I guess he thought it made him look more attractive. It just made him look stupid.He was also legendary for his inability to keep a wife. Reports vary, but when he retired, I think he was on #7. Oh well, his leaving means that this easy job is less annoying.
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I am loving this Kal-El, it is bordering on the delusional.
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bordering? :confused:
 
Need advice on a situation. Co-worker #1 (younger guy, arrogant, abrasive, know-it-all, etc.) is training Co-worker #2 (older guy, absentminded-professor type) on some new procedures. After every training session, Co-worker #1 calls Company Owner to complain that CW#2 isn't learning fast enough, isn't smart enough to understand, and is basically dead weight. CW#2 has no idea that CW#1 feels this way.

I have witnessed some of the training sessions, and while I would agree that CW#2 isn't a fast learner, I would say that he's learning at a reasonable rate -- about the same rate as CW#1 when he was trained (by me) on the same procedures.

Anyway, our Supervisor recently disciplined CW#1 for a minor infraction. Afterward, CW#2 and I had the following exchange:

CW#2: Man, I can't believe Supervisor busted CW#1 for that. He was out of line.

Me: Okay.

CW#2: I really feel like calling Owner to tell him that Supervisor was out of line. I mean, CW#2 is one of the best, hardest working, most loyal employees that we have. We can't afford to lose him.

Me: Uhhhhh.....I'm not sure if I'd describe him exactly like that.....but.......whatever. I don't think I would call the Owner, though.

So....do I owe CW#2 anything else? Should I warn him that CW#1 is not his friend? Should I say anything to the Owner or Supervisor? Another factor is that Owner, Supervisor, and CW#1 are all part of the same social circle, and I'm not sure if it's wise to mess with that dynamic.

Also, I'm concerned that if I say anything to CW#2, he will end up reporting me out of a false sense of loyalty to CW#1.

 
'Joe Summer said:
Need advice on a situation. Co-worker #1 (younger guy, arrogant, abrasive, know-it-all, etc.) is training Co-worker #2 (older guy, absentminded-professor type) on some new procedures. After every training session, Co-worker #1 calls Company Owner to complain that CW#2 isn't learning fast enough, isn't smart enough to understand, and is basically dead weight. CW#2 has no idea that CW#1 feels this way.

I have witnessed some of the training sessions, and while I would agree that CW#2 isn't a fast learner, I would say that he's learning at a reasonable rate -- about the same rate as CW#1 when he was trained (by me) on the same procedures.

Anyway, our Supervisor recently disciplined CW#1 for a minor infraction. Afterward, CW#2 and I had the following exchange:

CW#2: Man, I can't believe Supervisor busted CW#1 for that. He was out of line.

Me: Okay.

CW#2: I really feel like calling Owner to tell him that Supervisor was out of line. I mean, CW#2 is one of the best, hardest working, most loyal employees that we have. We can't afford to lose him.

Me: Uhhhhh.....I'm not sure if I'd describe him exactly like that.....but.......whatever. I don't think I would call the Owner, though.

So....do I owe CW#2 anything else? Should I warn him that CW#1 is not his friend? Should I say anything to the Owner or Supervisor? Another factor is that Owner, Supervisor, and CW#1 are all part of the same social circle, and I'm not sure if it's wise to mess with that dynamic.

Also, I'm concerned that if I say anything to CW#2, he will end up reporting me out of a false sense of loyalty to CW#1.
Click to expand...
What's your position in the company? Are you any of their superiors, or have you just been around longer?
 
'Henry%20Ford said:
%26%2339%3BJoe Summer said:
Need advice on a situation. Co-worker #1 (younger guy, arrogant, abrasive, know-it-all, etc.) is training Co-worker #2 (older guy, absentminded-professor type) on some new procedures. After every training session, Co-worker #1 calls Company Owner to complain that CW#2 isn't learning fast enough, isn't smart enough to understand, and is basically dead weight. CW#2 has no idea that CW#1 feels this way.

I have witnessed some of the training sessions, and while I would agree that CW#2 isn't a fast learner, I would say that he's learning at a reasonable rate -- about the same rate as CW#1 when he was trained (by me) on the same procedures.

Anyway, our Supervisor recently disciplined CW#1 for a minor infraction. Afterward, CW#2 and I had the following exchange:

CW#2: Man, I can't believe Supervisor busted CW#1 for that. He was out of line.

Me: Okay.

CW#2: I really feel like calling Owner to tell him that Supervisor was out of line. I mean, CW#2 is one of the best, hardest working, most loyal employees that we have. We can't afford to lose him.

Me: Uhhhhh.....I'm not sure if I'd describe him exactly like that.....but.......whatever. I don't think I would call the Owner, though.

So....do I owe CW#2 anything else? Should I warn him that CW#1 is not his friend? Should I say anything to the Owner or Supervisor? Another factor is that Owner, Supervisor, and CW#1 are all part of the same social circle, and I'm not sure if it's wise to mess with that dynamic.

Also, I'm concerned that if I say anything to CW#2, he will end up reporting me out of a false sense of loyalty to CW#1.
Click to expand...
What's your position in the company? Are you any of their superiors, or have you just been around longer?
Click to expand...
CW#2 has been with the company for 15 years, mostly in a different department (he came to my department last year). I've been here for 8 years and CW#1 has been here for 5. We're all equals.
 
'Joe Summer said:
'Henry%20Ford said:
%26%2339%3BJoe Summer said:
Need advice on a situation. Co-worker #1 (younger guy, arrogant, abrasive, know-it-all, etc.) is training Co-worker #2 (older guy, absentminded-professor type) on some new procedures. After every training session, Co-worker #1 calls Company Owner to complain that CW#2 isn't learning fast enough, isn't smart enough to understand, and is basically dead weight. CW#2 has no idea that CW#1 feels this way.

I have witnessed some of the training sessions, and while I would agree that CW#2 isn't a fast learner, I would say that he's learning at a reasonable rate -- about the same rate as CW#1 when he was trained (by me) on the same procedures.

Anyway, our Supervisor recently disciplined CW#1 for a minor infraction. Afterward, CW#2 and I had the following exchange:

CW#2: Man, I can't believe Supervisor busted CW#1 for that. He was out of line.

Me: Okay.

CW#2: I really feel like calling Owner to tell him that Supervisor was out of line. I mean, CW#2 is one of the best, hardest working, most loyal employees that we have. We can't afford to lose him.

Me: Uhhhhh.....I'm not sure if I'd describe him exactly like that.....but.......whatever. I don't think I would call the Owner, though.

So....do I owe CW#2 anything else? Should I warn him that CW#1 is not his friend? Should I say anything to the Owner or Supervisor? Another factor is that Owner, Supervisor, and CW#1 are all part of the same social circle, and I'm not sure if it's wise to mess with that dynamic.

Also, I'm concerned that if I say anything to CW#2, he will end up reporting me out of a false sense of loyalty to CW#1.
Click to expand...
What's your position in the company? Are you any of their superiors, or have you just been around longer?
Click to expand...
CW#2 has been with the company for 15 years, mostly in a different department (he came to my department last year). I've been here for 8 years and CW#1 has been here for 5. We're all equals.
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It is absolutely not your place to tell the guy CW#1 is not his friend, unless you have some kind of deep, lasting friendship with CW#2. Which, if you think he'll report you for telling him, it sounds like you do not.Give your opinion to the boss if he/she asks. Or, if you notice CW#2 doing something well or correctly, tell the boss. Hell, if Owner or Supervisor take it upon themselves to tell you what CW#1 said, feel free to say "well, obviously I'm not doing his training, but what I've observed is...." Other than that, stay out of it in my opinion.

 
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'Joe Summer said:
Need advice on a situation. Co-worker #1 (younger guy, arrogant, abrasive, know-it-all, etc.) is training Co-worker #2 (older guy, absentminded-professor type) on some new procedures. After every training session, Co-worker #1 calls Company Owner to complain that CW#2 isn't learning fast enough, isn't smart enough to understand, and is basically dead weight. CW#2 has no idea that CW#1 feels this way.

I have witnessed some of the training sessions, and while I would agree that CW#2 isn't a fast learner, I would say that he's learning at a reasonable rate -- about the same rate as CW#1 when he was trained (by me) on the same procedures.

Anyway, our Supervisor recently disciplined CW#1 for a minor infraction. Afterward, CW#2 and I had the following exchange:

CW#2: Man, I can't believe Supervisor busted CW#1 for that. He was out of line.

Me: Okay.

CW#2: I really feel like calling Owner to tell him that Supervisor was out of line. I mean, CW#2 is one of the best, hardest working, most loyal employees that we have. We can't afford to lose him.

Me: Uhhhhh.....I'm not sure if I'd describe him exactly like that.....but.......whatever. I don't think I would call the Owner, though.

So....do I owe CW#2 anything else? Should I warn him that CW#1 is not his friend? Should I say anything to the Owner or Supervisor? Another factor is that Owner, Supervisor, and CW#1 are all part of the same social circle, and I'm not sure if it's wise to mess with that dynamic.

Also, I'm concerned that if I say anything to CW#2, he will end up reporting me out of a false sense of loyalty to CW#1.
Click to expand...
Stay out of it. I really don't understand why you would get involved at all
 
'Joe Summer said:
Need advice on a situation. Co-worker #1 (younger guy, arrogant, abrasive, know-it-all, etc.) is training Co-worker #2 (older guy, absentminded-professor type) on some new procedures. After every training session, Co-worker #1 calls Company Owner to complain that CW#2 isn't learning fast enough, isn't smart enough to understand, and is basically dead weight. CW#2 has no idea that CW#1 feels this way.

I have witnessed some of the training sessions, and while I would agree that CW#2 isn't a fast learner, I would say that he's learning at a reasonable rate -- about the same rate as CW#1 when he was trained (by me) on the same procedures.

Anyway, our Supervisor recently disciplined CW#1 for a minor infraction. Afterward, CW#2 and I had the following exchange:

CW#2: Man, I can't believe Supervisor busted CW#1 for that. He was out of line.

Me: Okay.

CW#2: I really feel like calling Owner to tell him that Supervisor was out of line. I mean, CW#2 is one of the best, hardest working, most loyal employees that we have. We can't afford to lose him.

Me: Uhhhhh.....I'm not sure if I'd describe him exactly like that.....but.......whatever. I don't think I would call the Owner, though.

So....do I owe CW#2 anything else? Should I warn him that CW#1 is not his friend? Should I say anything to the Owner or Supervisor? Another factor is that Owner, Supervisor, and CW#1 are all part of the same social circle, and I'm not sure if it's wise to mess with that dynamic.

Also, I'm concerned that if I say anything to CW#2, he will end up reporting me out of a false sense of loyalty to CW#1.
Click to expand...
I liked this thread better when it was busting on coworkers and wasn't an advice thread.
 
My coworker is a quiet talker. I generally have difficulty understanding her and have to stand up and lean towards her over a divider to hear her at times. Another coworker also has difficulty hearing her. Anyway, we both ask her to speak up and she says that she's always spoken like this and then said, "shame on you" to us both for not hearing her. We both started laughing at what she said. She's a good sport about it too and got a chuckle out of it.

I followed the laugh up by telling her she should speak out of her chest. She said, "don't you mean diaphragm?" I told her that I'm working my way down and we'll soon have her talking out of her ### like the rest of us.

 
kentric said:
My coworker is a quiet talker. I generally have difficulty understanding her and have to stand up and lean towards her over a divider to hear her at times. Another coworker also has difficulty hearing her. Anyway, we both ask her to speak up and she says that she's always spoken like this and then said, "shame on you" to us both for not hearing her. We both started laughing at what she said. She's a good sport about it too and got a chuckle out of it.

I followed the laugh up by telling her she should speak out of her chest. She said, "don't you mean diaphragm?" I told her that I'm working my way down and we'll soon have her talking out of her ### like the rest of us.
Click to expand...
Sexual Harassment 101

 
Keerock said:
kentric said:
My coworker is a quiet talker. I generally have difficulty understanding her and have to stand up and lean towards her over a divider to hear her at times. Another coworker also has difficulty hearing her. Anyway, we both ask her to speak up and she says that she's always spoken like this and then said, "shame on you" to us both for not hearing her. We both started laughing at what she said. She's a good sport about it too and got a chuckle out of it.

I followed the laugh up by telling her she should speak out of her chest. She said, "don't you mean diaphragm?" I told her that I'm working my way down and we'll soon have her talking out of her ### like the rest of us.
Click to expand...
Sexual Harassment 101
Click to expand...
So you think I should report her?

 
kentric said:
Keerock said:
kentric said:
My coworker is a quiet talker. I generally have difficulty understanding her and have to stand up and lean towards her over a divider to hear her at times. Another coworker also has difficulty hearing her. Anyway, we both ask her to speak up and she says that she's always spoken like this and then said, "shame on you" to us both for not hearing her. We both started laughing at what she said. She's a good sport about it too and got a chuckle out of it.

I followed the laugh up by telling her she should speak out of her chest. She said, "don't you mean diaphragm?" I told her that I'm working my way down and we'll soon have her talking out of her ### like the rest of us.
Click to expand...
Sexual Harassment 101
Click to expand...
So you think I should report her?
Click to expand...
:lol:

 
My old boss of many years just left the firm last Thursday. Two days later on Monday I have a dental appt for a crown and filling and sent a note to my new boss (who I have known for a number of years as well) on being out that day (my job is like 90 minutes from my house and trains aren't frequent, so based on the timing didn't make sense to go in and my old boss would just say take a sick day (we have unlimited sick days and this would be my fourth this year).

me: Can you please put me in for a sick day today

him: Are you sick or are you going to be out?

me: Doctor's appt.

him: An all day appointment?

Didn't take long for the honeymoon to endr.

 
Dear Sally,

For the love of god, when you take ice out of the machine, don't leave the freezer door ####### open!

 
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Dear former (now) coworker:

When working out your sub par one week notice, clearing out the paperwork in your desk and filing things that you have finished working on do not mean taking every last sheet of paper in your desk, walking over to the shred it box and dumping it all in there. Please remember that it is a small world and leaving as an idiot will bite you later.

 
Dear Dip####,

Here's a tip. When you enter project updates into the system in broken English that don't make any sense, expect me to bug you 5 times a day to clarify. If you don't even understand the freaking update yourself, I can't use the information and I have to go ask someone else to check for the proper status.

Do you sometimes hate yourself for stealing money from the company? Maybe you could hold the door open for people or wash coffee cups.

 
No, I would not like "sweets from India" - they taste like #### and I'm pretty sure they will make me shoot liquid out my ###.

But thanks for thinking of me.

 
Hey "Aaron", I can hear just fine. You don't need to be all up in my face when you're telling me what you need. Back the #### up and stop violating my space. Not do you close talk, but you damn near head butt me anytime you need to tell me something with your head bobbing. And when I walk away from you while you're still talking, please stop following me around like a puppy chasing his toy. I'm trying to get the #### away from you. Please keep your distance or I will have to start pushing you away. Tia.

 
AAABatteries said:
No, I would not like "sweets from India" - they taste like #### and I'm pretty sure they will make me shoot liquid out my ###.

But thanks for thinking of me.
Click to expand...
OMFG... I get AT LEAST one email a week re: sweets from India.

If I ever feel the need to induce liqui####s, there's a greasy Mexican joint down the road that has failed their last several health inspections. I'd prefer to go out that way...

 
Dear AP,

When I ask for a copy of a 6 month old invoice three times please don't staple it to the back of a newer invoice for the same company and just put it in the stack so you can try and cover your butt and lie say I gave it to you the first time you asked for it.

1. Why would you staple it to another invoice?

2. Why wouldn't you reply prior to this that it was in my stack?

3. Why do all of your emails have to be in all caps?

 
parasaurolophus said:
Dear AP,

When I ask for a copy of a 6 month old invoice three times please don't staple it to the back of a newer invoice for the same company and just put it in the stack so you can try and cover your butt and lie say I gave it to you the first time you asked for it.

1. Why would you staple it to another invoice?

2. Why wouldn't you reply prior to this that it was in my stack?

3. Why do all of your emails have to be in all caps?
Click to expand...
I'm convinced people with the mental capacity of a pre-schooler feel most comfortable writing with crayons.

 
I have an ex-coworker who got arrested for 14 counts involving obscene photos of children. We all knew he was odd, and pretty creepy, talking to a bunch of young kids on the swim team here, but a few weeks ago, a few detectives came to the facility and eventually arrested him. We're pretty sure none of that happened here, but he's probably going to jail for a very long time.

 
Dear Co-Worker,

I know there was a sales team "re-org" and you got the short end of the stick. Everyone else kept their same jobs except you. While you technically "re-assigned", it's really a demotion because you were a lousy sales rep. Your job now kind of sucks but we don't need to hear about it with every call you make. Please accept the fact that you're on the J-V squad now. You should feel very lucky that this demotion meant no real change in your pay when it is a job that any recent college could handle.

Get bent, you whiny #####.

 
Dear former colleague who is approximately half my age and who would be consistently rude by hollering across the office to any one of numerous other co-workers, rather than walking over to speak with them in an indoor voice, and who would also be consistently rude by taking up far to much of the hallway when I was trying to pass in the opposite direction, so that I would have to perform acrobatic maneuvers so that *I* would not be rude by bumping into you: I'm sorry that you got arrested for selling computers you stole from work, but now we all know how you were able to afford the big RV on your meager salary. Sincerely hope you enjoy your stay at the state correctional facility.

All The Best,

--BC

 
Bourbon Cowboy said:
Dear former colleague who is approximately half my age and who would be consistently rude by hollering across the office to any one of numerous other co-workers, rather than walking over to speak with them in an indoor voice, and who would also be consistently rude by taking up far to much of the hallway when I was trying to pass in the opposite direction, so that I would have to perform acrobatic maneuvers so that *I* would not be rude by bumping into you: I'm sorry that you got arrested for selling computers you stole from work, but now we all know how you were able to afford the big RV on your meager salary. Sincerely hope you enjoy your stay at the state correctional facility.

All The Best,

--BC
Click to expand...
Do you work in Albequerque? Does this former co-worker have a last name of White, Heisenberg, or Pinkman? If so then you should preface any post with a *spoiler* tags,

 
Dear co-worker I know everyone at one time is new, but you have now been here a year and you still can not do you job without someone holding your hand. Not knowing the very basic concept of your job is ridiculous. Three of us have spent hours training you on how to do the transactions, just balance the orders daily for the day before and you will be fine. Now you can imagine our surprise when getting an email last night at the end of the month THAT NONE OF THE FREAKING ORDERS FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH have been closed or reconciled.

 
Keerock said:
AAABatteries said:
No, I would not like "sweets from India" - they taste like #### and I'm pretty sure they will make me shoot liquid out my ###.

But thanks for thinking of me.
Click to expand...
OMFG... I get AT LEAST one email a week re: sweets from India.

If I ever feel the need to induce liqui####s, there's a greasy Mexican joint down the road that has failed their last several health inspections. I'd prefer to go out that way...
Click to expand...
"Sweets from India"? What century is this, again?

 
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