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A note to my coworker ... (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Nigel Tufnel
- Start date
Henry Ford
Footballguy
Hmmm... I do this to one guy in my office. To be fair, when he shows up we are all definitely looking for him.
fantasycurse42
Footballguy Jr.
Hey idiot, before spreading fear throughout the office and saying the patient at Mt Sinai has Ebola, do some due diligence first.
blogspot.iamnewsworldreport.247365.mybreakingnews.com might not be the most credible place to catch up on current events. Think twice before sending an email titled "Ebola case confirmed in NYC"to 1,000 people in the company...
blogspot.iamnewsworldreport.247365.mybreakingnews.com might not be the most credible place to catch up on current events. Think twice before sending an email titled "Ebola case confirmed in NYC"to 1,000 people in the company...
iamsmilin
I want one, but I'm not creative
Dear co-worker,
I really don't like you. I don't care that your two 20 something year olds have had three kids between them and that you are helping to support them because neither daughter has a decent job or a college degree. Maybe if you set a better example when they were teenagers and didn't sleep around with married men and act like a slut, then they would have turned out better. Doing their homework for them didn't help them in the long run. Don't tell me (a mom of two) that your money is going to the "little ones" and expect me to feel sympathy.
I really don't like you. I don't care that your two 20 something year olds have had three kids between them and that you are helping to support them because neither daughter has a decent job or a college degree. Maybe if you set a better example when they were teenagers and didn't sleep around with married men and act like a slut, then they would have turned out better. Doing their homework for them didn't help them in the long run. Don't tell me (a mom of two) that your money is going to the "little ones" and expect me to feel sympathy.
fantasycurse42
Footballguy Jr.
ClownCausedChaos2
Footballguy
iamsmilin
I want one, but I'm not creative
Moved herself and one of her daughters to CA from back east after her divorce (husband cheated on her) to follow an old boyfriend who was married at the time. She stayed in a relationship with that guy but has told me (when she was drunk, which happens frequently) she has one night stands with married men she meets at bars. Has tried to justify sleeping with married men by saying they don't get it at home but ironically her ex is a cheating *******.
You would not hit, resembles Tom Petty with sunglasses on, all her tanning has made her skin look like leather. In her 50s.
iamsmilin
I want one, but I'm not creative
fantasycurse42
Footballguy Jr.
ClownCausedChaos2
Footballguy
iamsmilin
I want one, but I'm not creative
A bag would be more beneficial if you saw her.I'd like to hear more about these sunglasses
Did I mention that I really don't like her?
fantasycurse42
Footballguy Jr.
Sounds hot.A bag would be more beneficial if you saw her.I'd like to hear more about these sunglasses
Did I mention that I really don't like her?
iamsmilin
I want one, but I'm not creative
Just wrap it first. You never know what you're gonna catch.Sounds hot.A bag would be more beneficial if you saw her.I'd like to hear more about these sunglasses
Did I mention that I really don't like her?
fantasycurse42
Footballguy Jr.
I've got a streak going right now as the lord of my manor... After this, it is now in jeopardyJust wrap it first. You never know what you're gonna catch.Sounds hot.A bag would be more beneficial if you saw her.I'd like to hear more about these sunglasses
Did I mention that I really don't like her?
iamsmilin
I want one, but I'm not creative
mr roboto
Footballguy
:claws:
Osaurus
Footballguy
iamsmilin
I want one, but I'm not creative
Don't cross me.
iamsmilin
I want one, but I'm not creative
Well it's transmitted by exchanging bodily fluids, so if you wrap it and no kissing, you maybe okay.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
TheAristocrat
Footballguy
The work restroom is the best place to trim your pubes? Really, dude? And, why'd you leave them there without a quick wipe down with TP and a flush?
And, Barefoot in the Bathroom Guy: WTF?
And, Barefoot in the Bathroom Guy: WTF?
-fish-
Footballguy
TheAristocrat
Footballguy
I should probably start a thread about my charmed life at work. I seriously think I stumbled into the luckiest job of my life.
I work for a Litigation Support vendor where we host a review platform for large document reviews. Not a whole lot of face-to-face communication so rules are pretty lax.
But some of the things I've seen are just baffling. Usually, I'm the weird one. Not so much here.
iamsmilin
I want one, but I'm not creative
TheAristocrat
Footballguy
It's real. I came within inches of sitting in them due to an emergency. Looked down at the floor with my rear hovering over the pile of short hairs on the seat and floor. Immediate stop and inspected the premises. Then moved over to the other stall.
Barefoot in the Bathroom Guy was last week. Don't know who it was but I think it was a sales guy that was in town.
Barefoot in the Bathroom Guy was last week. Don't know who it was but I think it was a sales guy that was in town.
Mr. Ected
Footballguy
Not to say TheAristocrat isn't clever, but how would you come up with that without having seen it! :X
iamsmilin
I want one, but I'm not creative
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dickey moe
Fingerpicker
Freaking gross.
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
One of the managers in my office came to me awile back saying the water cooler lease on our floor was almost up, wanted to know if we should renew. I took a look at it and calculated it be a little cheaper to buy a unit from Sam's Club & just double the standing Poland Spring delivery we had for the floor below (we added a second floor about 18 months ago). They came and unhooked the old unit which was fed by the kitchen water line, and a couple guys setup the new water cooler. The new unit is one that uses 5 gallon jugs, exactly like the unit on the floor below us.
Half hour later the CEO walks by: "Water's not very cold in the new cooker." Yeah? They just hooked it up. A little while later our Controller sticks her head in the door: "Hot water's not working in the new cooler." Huh. Let me see what they did with the manual. I find it in the box. Aha! Couple switches in the back under the flange. Which gets me thinking...and I wander down to the other floor. "Hey, we just got that same water cooler for our floor. How's that thing been working out - is the water cold?" Not really...we usually drink ice water. "I see. How's the hot water? Can you make tea with?" Nope, doesn't work. Have to throw it in the microwave.
MEMO TO 6th FLOOR: Great news! The water cooler now has ice cold water, and in addition, you can now use the hot water for tea.
18 months. WTF?
Half hour later the CEO walks by: "Water's not very cold in the new cooker." Yeah? They just hooked it up. A little while later our Controller sticks her head in the door: "Hot water's not working in the new cooler." Huh. Let me see what they did with the manual. I find it in the box. Aha! Couple switches in the back under the flange. Which gets me thinking...and I wander down to the other floor. "Hey, we just got that same water cooler for our floor. How's that thing been working out - is the water cold?" Not really...we usually drink ice water. "I see. How's the hot water? Can you make tea with?" Nope, doesn't work. Have to throw it in the microwave.
MEMO TO 6th FLOOR: Great news! The water cooler now has ice cold water, and in addition, you can now use the hot water for tea.
18 months. WTF?
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Binky The Doormat
Footballguy
Binky The Doormat
Footballguy
ghostguy123
Footballguy
I want to punch one of the women I work with.
For realz. I do.
For realz. I do.
IvanKaramazov
Footballguy
Dear academic administrator,
The word you're looking for is "borderline," not "boarder-line." I know this wasn't a typo because you did it twice in the same email.
Cordially,
IK
The word you're looking for is "borderline," not "boarder-line." I know this wasn't a typo because you did it twice in the same email.
Cordially,
IK
Henry Ford
Footballguy
Henry Ford
Footballguy
IvanKaramazov
Footballguy
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
AAABatteries
Footballguy
Socrates11
Footballguy
I'll see your loud talker on speakerphone and raise you a 'constantly talks to himself and when not talking to himself only whistles Beethoven's 9th symphony'Dear Coworker,
You do not have to talk louder just because you are on speakerphone. The volume of your voice should be exactly the same as when you are not on speakerphone.
I've turned into headphone / music guy because of you. Thanks for that.
Joe T.
FML
Keerock
Footballguy
And I'll raise YOU cronic belcher. Nonstop, 24x7 with the full stomach grumble, followed by a nauseating belch and topped off by a "blowing" exhale. :XI'll see your loud talker on speakerphone and raise you a 'constantly talks to himself and when not talking to himself only whistles Beethoven's 9th symphony'Dear Coworker,
You do not have to talk louder just because you are on speakerphone. The volume of your voice should be exactly the same as when you are not on speakerphone.
I've turned into headphone / music guy because of you. Thanks for that.
Joe T.
FML
kentric
Footballguy
Dear mystery coworker. Is it possible for you to not leave your pubes on the top of the urinal. I can blow them off, but still, its nasty.
I know for a fact that there are no 7'8" employees here where your junk would be near the top of the urinal and its auto-flush, so there's no need for your hands to be there.
I know for a fact that there are no 7'8" employees here where your junk would be near the top of the urinal and its auto-flush, so there's no need for your hands to be there.
fantasycurse42
Footballguy Jr.
kentric
Footballguy
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