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***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (2 Viewers)

Scoresman said:
Downloaded some of the apps with some dummy accounts for now just checking out what it's like in my area. Again, looking at this to eventually date very casually, even for just a FWB situation, starting around the new year.

Tinder - Tons of women of varying types, mostly good. I thought this was the "hookup" app, so a bit disappointed to see the majority of profiles looking for LTR.  But the quantity here astounds me.  Even if I set my filter to 1 mile radius, I get dozens of profiles. There's interesting reading out there on the algorithm Tinder uses and how when you first create an account you get mostly super hot, popular women to get you hooked, then the quality dies down.  We'll see.  

PoF - An absolute cesspool. Will not be using this which is a shame because their filters and options are really good for someone like me to clearly state what I'm looking for.  But the caliber of women on here is terrible.  Half of them look like they're addicted to meth.  Not even close to my type.  Shame.

Hinge/Bumble - Consistently attractive, seemingly cool women here but this seems more for people looking for LTR.  Not looking to lead anyone on.  

Ashley Madison - Hear me out.  I am NOT looking to break up any marriages.  Not interested in that sort of situation at all. But I read that single people go on here too, and it does seem to be the case.   Many profiles of attractive women who mention they are single, and many get straight to the point of what they are looking for (sex). There are also profiles of single women whose description reads like it belongs on eharmony. ie: looking for love, LTR, want babies, etc.  WTF are they doing on Ashley Madison?  Of particular note, the one person whose profile says she wants LTR, is looking for their life partner, etc... Their username? "lickmewhereIpee".  :lmao:   Probably lots of fake profiles, escorts, etc.    Need to proceed with caution here, but if there's one site where women wont give a #### about my situation, I feel like it's this one. Anyone ever use this?

Any other apps that cater to casual dating I should be looking at?  
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Farmersonly.com  ?

 
fatguyinalittlecoat said:
This is the only group of women I will date.  I have no interest in ever being in a monogamous relationship ever again.
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Interesting - never heard the term now. I certainly am a proponent of consenting adults doing as they choose with openness and honesty. I can also imagine if I am ever divorced (no plans for that for now, of course) I also would want something similar.

So, is there a different because ENM and an "open relationship"? Are they the same and the former just sounds better?

 
Zow said:
Interesting - never heard the term now. I certainly am a proponent of consenting adults doing as they choose with openness and honesty. I can also imagine if I am ever divorced (no plans for that for now, of course) I also would want something similar.

So, is there a different because ENM and an "open relationship"? Are they the same and the former just sounds better?
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My guess is ENM/poly is openly communicating about seeing other people and all sides approving of it.  Whereas Casual/Open is more just an assumed thing but not really getting formal consent to see others.

 
offdee said:
My guess is ENM/poly is openly communicating about seeing other people and all sides approving of it.  Whereas Casual/Open is more just an assumed thing but not really getting formal consent to see others.
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Makes sense. 

 
Zow said:
So, is there a different because ENM and an "open relationship"? Are they the same and the former just sounds better?
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in my experiences, especially in the kink community, these are the terms I see:

  • Casual - just that, you are nothing else but a body attached to a number in their phone, FWB at best, no strings, no commitment.
  • Open - They are willing to date, even as much as to consider you their Primary (first person they call, person they take to family gatherings), but they are going to also date/sleep/play with others, and more than likely not going to tell you about them or give details.
  • ENM - My favorite. More grown up than the first two. If they are going to take the time to actually call the relationship Ethical Non-Monogamy, they are going to communicate about their potential extra partners and activities ahead of time. The two of you are primary partners, but have others, off and on, and the amount of exposure to those other partners is minimal, unless in a group situation. Swingers and group play fall into this, when above board.
  • Poly - Least favorite. While the other three get lumped under this umbrella, for me Poly is mostly a committed couple who also have other committed partners. Married to each other, but with boyfriends and girlfriends that are around often. IMO, it is beyond a hassle. Too many egos and emotions and I'm not sure in 10 years that I know a true Poly couple that has survived. Most of the time, one partner falls more in love with the side action (because they only see the good parts) and things break up. Or a thruple that two people decide they like each other more than the third, and they get cast aside.
 
Had another date with a girl ultimately looking for a sugar daddy.  She’s ok with a No Strings Attached relationship, she just wants (copy of a text from her)…

I’m fine with a NSA relationship, but I want the benefits of a relationship…traveling, dining, shopping, sex, sleepovers. 

 
See now this was the perfect time to just add the laugh emoji from the little quick bar.  But we can't have nice things 😬

Anyway :lmao: :lmao:  

You can't blame a girl for trying...Where is she on the offdee scale?

 
coyote5 said:
See now this was the perfect time to just add the laugh emoji from the little quick bar.  But we can't have nice things 😬

Anyway :lmao: :lmao:  

You can't blame a girl for trying...Where is she on the offdee scale?
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8: One of the hotter women at the club, one of the hotter girls at school (upper class of hot women)
 

She was a head turner, for sure. Oh, and also 24 yrs old (I’m 45). 
 

 
offdee said:
Had another date with a girl ultimately looking for a sugar daddy.  She’s ok with a No Strings Attached relationship, she just wants (copy of a text from her)…

I’m fine with a NSA relationship, but I want the benefits of a relationship…traveling, dining, shopping, sex, sleepovers. 
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If you wanna play, you gotta pay.  

 
offdee said:
Had another date with a girl ultimately looking for a sugar daddy.  
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Newbie tip for those that might be scared about the term "sugar daddy": figure out the income bracket they are assuming, and you might be able to score.

I don't make true FBG money, so I use to pass by everything that said "sugar daddy" or "want to be treated like a princess", but then I would start to ask "what does that mean to you?" Now you are going to get a lot of answers like @offdee's friend here, where you need that high six-figure income, but a lot of times you might meet the requirements and therefore reap the benefits.

One great relationship I had started with a "need to be a princess", but turns out that was "buy me a meal and listen to me when I talk to you about things." Easy enough.

And by far, the hottest, most fun, most adventurous relationship was someone that started out "needing sugar daddy/mutual benefits", but after we talked a little while, basically found out that paying for a few meals sent to her house for her and her Mom, a few Uber rides to my place, and a couple of cheap trips to Target and the Adult Fun Store, she thought she was being pampered.

So while most are a scam, and even more are really expensive, doesn't cost anything to at least ask for a few details.

 
I'll defer to Bogart on the matter but I have friends who use the sugar daddy sites to date and source women.  They don't seem to be paying for anything out of the ordinary and find much better quality.   We want looks, women want money so it doesn't seem like a bad trade off.  The old me would have frowned against using these sites but I think some girls are using them to find men who are financially stable and not just the pay to play thing.  

 
offdee said:
8: One of the hotter women at the club, one of the hotter girls at school (upper class of hot women)
 

She was a head turner, for sure. Oh, and also 24 yrs old (I’m 45). 
 
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Yeah, I'd take her out dining and see what happens.   String her along a bit but never really become a 'sugar daddy'.  Sex and sleepovers always before travel and shopping. 

 
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Bogart said:
Newbie tip for those that might be scared about the term "sugar daddy": figure out the income bracket they are assuming, and you might be able to score.

I don't make true FBG money, so I use to pass by everything that said "sugar daddy" or "want to be treated like a princess", but then I would start to ask "what does that mean to you?" Now you are going to get a lot of answers like @offdee's friend here, where you need that high six-figure income, but a lot of times you might meet the requirements and therefore reap the benefits.

One great relationship I had started with a "need to be a princess", but turns out that was "buy me a meal and listen to me when I talk to you about things." Easy enough.

And by far, the hottest, most fun, most adventurous relationship was someone that started out "needing sugar daddy/mutual benefits", but after we talked a little while, basically found out that paying for a few meals sent to her house for her and her Mom, a few Uber rides to my place, and a couple of cheap trips to Target and the Adult Fun Store, she thought she was being pampered.

So while most are a scam, and even more are really expensive, doesn't cost anything to at least ask for a few details.
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I've always come across the ones looking for a FBG-sized allowance.

 
Bogart said:
in my experiences, especially in the kink community, these are the terms I see:

  • Casual - just that, you are nothing else but a body attached to a number in their phone, FWB at best, no strings, no commitment.
  • Open - They are willing to date, even as much as to consider you their Primary (first person they call, person they take to family gatherings), but they are going to also date/sleep/play with others, and more than likely not going to tell you about them or give details.
  • ENM - My favorite. More grown up than the first two. If they are going to take the time to actually call the relationship Ethical Non-Monogamy, they are going to communicate about their potential extra partners and activities ahead of time. The two of you are primary partners, but have others, off and on, and the amount of exposure to those other partners is minimal, unless in a group situation. Swingers and group play fall into this, when above board.
  • Poly - Least favorite. While the other three get lumped under this umbrella, for me Poly is mostly a committed couple who also have other committed partners. Married to each other, but with boyfriends and girlfriends that are around often. IMO, it is beyond a hassle. Too many egos and emotions and I'm not sure in 10 years that I know a true Poly couple that has survived. Most of the time, one partner falls more in love with the side action (because they only see the good parts) and things break up. Or a thruple that two people decide they like each other more than the third, and they get cast aside.
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Where you meeting these types?  I've tinkered on doublelist but hopefully there's somewhere better.

 
Major said:
Yeah, I'd take her out dining and see what happens.   String her along a bit but never really become a 'sugar daddy'.  Sex and sleepovers always before travel and shopping. 
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The thing about it is that I wasn't totally into her anyways, so I'm the one that kind of proposed just casual and nothing serious just to see what she'd say and it went down that path.   She skewed it as...that's not originally what I was looking for, but if all you want is sex then seems like a fair tradeoff.    I rebutted with, no it wasn't...she should be paying me :lmao:

Her voice was not sexy at all and she was just kinda dumb (probably because she's only 24).  

 
offdee said:
The thing about it is that I wasn't totally into her anyways, so I'm the one that kind of proposed just casual and nothing serious just to see what she'd say and it went down that path.   She skewed it as...that's not originally what I was looking for, but if all you want is sex then seems like a fair tradeoff.    I rebutted with, no it wasn't...she should be paying me :lmao:

Her voice was not sexy at all and she was just kinda dumb (probably because she's only 24).  
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I feel that.  As I get older the divide your age in half + 7 years thing seems to reign true.  Late 20s/Early 30s tends to be the sweet spot for me.

 
I'm in my 40s, have a good job, and the girls I date are early 20s, either still in college or just recently out. I'd feel weird asking them to split a bill. I have no problem paying for meals when we dine out or paying for the hotel when I take one out of town. They might call it sugar daddy but it's nowhere near what I would say is a sugar daddy relationship. 

 
Dez89 said:
Where you meeting these types?  I've tinkered on doublelist but hopefully there's somewhere better.
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Ironically, the vanilla places everyone was using. OKCupid was my main go-to, because the questions algorithm was extremely accurate with matching with like-minded women. And if you answered the same questions, you could see their answers. Tinder had some hits. Plenty Of Fish also had hits. But that was a long time ago, and I put in the work daily. 
 

Don’t get it twisted, I wasn’t searching for SD/sb relationships on purpose. My marriage/divorce made me broke AF, I just started asking some questions and playing the game. I think a lot of people use the term “Sugar Daddy” like people use “Poly”. There are many layers and subtleties. What some consider SD behavior, others would consider chivalrous.

 
Scoresman said:
I might be getting back into online dating soon, however, I have a huge "undateable" red flag attached to me in that my wife and I are separated and still live in our house together.  If it's just casual dating/hookups and this is made clear from the start, most women who are looking for the same won't really care right? My wife wants to do the same and doesn't think it'll be an issue.   :tfp:

I know I'm not ready for another relationship anytime soon.  
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In the 1990's I worked with at a c-store with a nice looking one that lived in the same house as her ex husband, their 2 kids that he had custody of, and her husband.  Another 30ish woman that worked with us,  was married and they were swingers. They had 3 boys aged 5-10 and they knew what the parents did. They both lived close enough to see their houses from the front of the store.

 
The Man With No Name said:
In the 1990's I worked with at a c-store with a nice looking one that lived in the same house as her ex husband, their 2 kids that he had custody of, and her husband.  Another 30ish woman that worked with us,  was married and they were swingers. They had 3 boys aged 5-10 and they knew what the parents did. They both lived close enough to see their houses from the front of the store.
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Dante?

 
Major said:
We want looks, women want money so it doesn't seem like a bad trade off.  
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Yeah this is why I think I date so differently than most of the people in this thread.  Looks are not all that high a priority to me.  And any woman that wants money is a huge turnoff to me.  I freely acknowledge I'm the strange one.

 
Major said:
I'll defer to Bogart on the matter but I have friends who use the sugar daddy sites to date and source women.  They don't seem to be paying for anything out of the ordinary and find much better quality.   We want looks, women want money so it doesn't seem like a bad trade off.  The old me would have frowned against using these sites but I think some girls are using them to find men who are financially stable and not just the pay to play thing.  
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What are considered the sugar daddy type sites?

 
Major said:
I feel that.  As I get older the divide your age in half + 7 years thing seems to reign true.  Late 20s/Early 30s tends to be the sweet spot for me.
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With me being 45, that formula puts my sweet spot around 29/30 yrs old....and would agree that 28-34 yrs old is the most desirable range for me as well.

 
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Runkle said:
I'm in my 40s, have a good job, and the girls I date are early 20s, either still in college or just recently out. I'd feel weird asking them to split a bill. I have no problem paying for meals when we dine out or paying for the hotel when I take one out of town. They might call it sugar daddy but it's nowhere near what I would say is a sugar daddy relationship. 
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Oh yeah, I openly pay for everything when dating...I have plenty of disposable income and enjoy spoiling when it comes to dinner, drinks, etc.   But when it comes to openly saying off the bat they EXPECT you to pay for shopping, trips, etc. it's just a different situation.  What ends up happening is they ask you to Cash app them money to get their nails done, get their hair done, pay a bill here and there, etc.   It just sets a bad precedent that I'm not willing to do (or NEED to do...I'm a good looking guy and a good catch that doesn't need to pay for sex).   I want a girl that deep down assumes I'll pay for stuff but never blatantly asks for it and always offers to help pay (knowing I'll decline) and is thankful when I do.  

 
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Major said:
I'll defer to Bogart on the matter but I have friends who use the sugar daddy sites to date and source women.  They don't seem to be paying for anything out of the ordinary and find much better quality.   We want looks, women want money so it doesn't seem like a bad trade off.  The old me would have frowned against using these sites but I think some girls are using them to find men who are financially stable and not just the pay to play thing.  
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This does make sense.   So many losers on regular sites the women are just searching for a different route to weed out the basement dwelling creeps.

What sites are these exactly?....I'd like to check them out.

 
Bogart said:
Ironically, the vanilla places everyone was using. OKCupid was my main go-to, because the questions algorithm was extremely accurate with matching with like-minded women. And if you answered the same questions, you could see their answers. Tinder had some hits. Plenty Of Fish also had hits. But that was a long time ago, and I put in the work daily. 
Click to expand...


The bolded above is the key...things have really changed in dating apps since Bogart probably used them last.  I just got our of a 7 yr relationship....before that was around 2014 when dating apps were still kinda new and a little more taboo.  Back then I used OK Cupid and the like too, and just kind of dipped my toe into Match before I met my ex.    Going back to those now and OK Cupid and POF is like the dumpster of dating sites and Match is the old and homely women.

Tinder is probably the best bet for finding Casual, but as said a few times, you gotta weed through the Escorts and scammers.

 
fatguyinalittlecoat said:
Yeah this is why I think I date so differently than most of the people in this thread.  Looks are not all that high a priority to me.  And any woman that wants money is a huge turnoff to me.  I freely acknowledge I'm the strange one.
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You must clean up on dating sites then!  Not trying to be rude at all, genuinely curious, what is your type of girl....are big girls your thing?    

 
Think I found the perfect female "About Me".

"Not seeking a relationship of any kind.  Available evenings and weekends. Clean and drug-free.  Prefer you be the same. Just need a physical release 2-3x a week. To be clear, I get mine, and you get yours. No awkward chitchat necessary."

 
I think I'm the same way.  Looks are definitely important to me, but I have a wide range of what I'm attracted to.  All the way from skinny to thick. Morbidly obese is going too far, but for me, a cute face and personality goes a long way in making up for a few extra pounds.  

 
Scoresman said:
Think I found the perfect female "About Me".

"Not seeking a relationship of any kind.  Available evenings and weekends. Clean and drug-free.  Prefer you be the same. Just need a physical release 2-3x a week. To be clear, I get mine, and you get yours. No awkward chitchat necessary."
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This screams Escort to me.

You start messaging with some niceties and then she springs on you the fee.    Cute girls that just want to hookup never blantantly state that's what they want in a profile writeup...they know they can have that whenever they want.   Stating that directly in a profile is screaming to get bombarded by losers and creeps....which is what an Escort ultimately wants (more opportunities to make money)

 
offdee said:
You must clean up on dating sites then!  Not trying to be rude at all, genuinely curious, what is your type of girl....are big girls your thing?    
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@belljr is eating popcorn because he’s read some of my dating stories on another site.

I’m flexible with physical appearance, I find lots of different types of women attractive. I am MUCH more selective about personality.  It’s incredibly easy for me to find women on dating sites that I think are attractive, the harder part is finding people I want to spend time with.

Another big difference seems to be because older women are more my thing.  I’m 48, I don’t really date anyone younger than 40.  The woman I’m in an ENM relationship right now is 50.  She has a good job, owns her own home, and has plenty of disposable income.  

 
offdee said:
This screams Escort to me.

You start messaging with some niceties and then she springs on you the fee.    Cute girls that just want to hookup never blantantly state that's what they want in a profile writeup...they know they can have that whenever they want.   Stating that directly in a profile is screaming to get bombarded by losers and creeps....which is what an Escort ultimately wants (more opportunities to make money)
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It's an Ashley Madison profile, so yeah, you're probably right.  Pics just look like a regular chick though.   

 
Scoresman said:
It's an Ashley Madison profile, so yeah, you're probably right.  Pics just look like a regular chick though.   
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Message her and see what happens.  Always curious on the latest scams, etc plus could be good :popcorn:

As for the sugar daddy sites, I think it's Seeking Arrangement or seeking.com 

 
offdee said:
The bolded above is the key...things have really changed in dating apps since Bogart probably used them last.  I just got our of a 7 yr relationship....before that was around 2014 when dating apps were still kinda new and a little more taboo.  Back then I used OK Cupid and the like too, and just kind of dipped my toe into Match before I met my ex.    Going back to those now and OK Cupid and POF is like the dumpster of dating sites and Match is the old and homely women.

Tinder is probably the best bet for finding Casual, but as said a few times, you gotta weed through the Escorts and scammers.
Click to expand...


Yeah, online dating is a whole different game now.  I tried getting back into it and lost interest pretty fast.  Tinder was a beautiful thing when it first started.  It was almost too good to be true.  I miss those days.

 
Reading this page, and after putting my four kids to bed and my wife and I are literally going to drink wine and actually watch Netflix and chill (with both of us far too exhausted for sex), I can officially say that this thread has passed me by. 

 
Major said:
Message her and see what happens.  Always curious on the latest scams, etc plus could be good :popcorn:

As for the sugar daddy sites, I think it's Seeking Arrangement or seeking.com 
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I would but I’m not paying for this site that is mostly scammers and  prostitutes. You can’t message with a free account. I am very curious what her reply to a serious inquiry would be. 

 
offdee said:
The bolded above is the key...things have really changed in dating apps since Bogart probably used them last.  I just got our of a 7 yr relationship....before that was around 2014 when dating apps were still kinda new and a little more taboo.  Back then I used OK Cupid and the like too, and just kind of dipped my toe into Match before I met my ex.    Going back to those now and OK Cupid and POF is like the dumpster of dating sites and Match is the old and homely women.

Tinder is probably the best bet for finding Casual, but as said a few times, you gotta weed through the Escorts and scammers.
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You should've seen them in the late '90 when I started. Talk about the Wild Wild West...........

 
offdee said:
With me being 45, that formula puts my sweet spot around 29/30 yrs old....and would agree that 28-34 yrs old is the most desirable range for me as well.
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That's also the sweet spot for when women start having/wanting babies. Be careful. 

 
Runkle said:
I don't think you were ever up to speed in the first place 
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Untrue. There was a couple year period where I hit my sweet spot (and didn’t find it necessary to post about it in here). 
 

A sweet, glorious two or so years…

 
I'm about 9 months out of my 7 yr relationship and feel like I've had my fun and fill of man-whoring.   At this point, if the right one comes along then I'd be open to an actual committed relationship.  I'm so damn picky though (which everyone should be) and won't settle, so the odds of that one for me coming around seems low.    In any event, I've noticed the past couple months the dating app pool of newbies seems pretty quiet and I'm assuming is a direct correlation with the busy holiday months.  

Any reason to think dating will be like exercising with New Year's resolutions and January and February in these dating apps will like the gyms are every new year?  Single women experiencing the holidays alone and family urging them to date again or helping them create dating profiles while all together?   That's my prediction, so we'll see if that rings true.

 
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