Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums
Man in the yellow hat

Marital Advice - Friendly camping trip too friendly?

What do I do next?  

622 members have voted

You do not have permission to vote in this poll, or see the poll results. Please sign in or register to vote in this poll.

Recommended Posts

Nothing really new to report here. Though my wife's behavior right now is confusing me a bit. She just doesn't seem interested in this coming back up again at all. She's just kind of going on like none of it matters at this point. That bothers me a bit.

In any case, I started looking around for marriage counseling today. But, I felt kind of silly. Would you all recommend this as a next step?

If you've made it clear to her how much this affecting you, thats kinda cold of her.

Have you made it clear?

I thought I did. But there's been so much going on with this it's hard to tell I guess.
Look bro...do this...take a few minutes to put down all your feelings...all your questions...all your vitriol/hate/hurt...whatever...into an email.

Print it out and read it to yourself alone. Sleep on it. Read it again the next day. Fix anything you feel necessary...strike out stuff you don't think is a big deal anymore and add what you may have forgotten. Just getting it out onto paper will help a lot. It'll at the very least identify how you truly feel because it sounds like you're so damned conflicted and have put yourself on the backburner so much in life that you can't even tell what truly matters to you anymore. Once you've got it all out on paper/email...send it to her and tell her to read it and come talk to you when she's ready.

While the exercise is probably a good one for him, I would NOT send it to her. And while it could be part of one solution, it's certainly not going to be the answer. We don't know him or her and this is much bigger than that.

MITYH, get counseling. FFA means well (some), but you need, and your marriage especially, professional help. Period. Don't be embarrassed by it. Think about how silly that sounds. What's more important?

Just go get some help man.

Edited by Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why not send it to her?

Am I understanding you right here? You're saying he should get counseling...and that's it?

She doesn't address these dangling issues at all? She doesn't go to counseling with him?

I'm sorry...but I'm one for direct approach in life. The truth is the truth...and I've no fear of it. If I've got a problem with my wife...that I can't let go of...then I let my wife know about it.

Otherwise...what?

I could only blame myself for the hurt feelings because I never told her I had a real problem with whatever it was. If I told her and she still did whatever it is...then it's on her. She's making a conscious decision to forego my feelings/ignore my wishes and do whatever it is she wants instead.

This is obviously still bothering the guy...so yes...he's going to need some real therapy to get past this...but I can't see him ever truly getting past this without her involvement in the healing process. And if he doesn't identify to her what exactly is bothering him...then how in the hell can she address the issues?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why not send it to her?

Am I understanding you right here? You're saying he should get counseling...and that's it?

She doesn't address these dangling issues at all? She doesn't go to counseling with him?

I'm sorry...but I'm one for direct approach in life. The truth is the truth...and I've no fear of it. If I've got a problem with my wife...that I can't let go of...then I let my wife know about it.

Otherwise...what?

I could only blame myself for the hurt feelings because I never told her I had a real problem with whatever it was. If I told her and she still did whatever it is...then it's on her. She's making a conscious decision to forego my feelings/ignore my wishes and do whatever it is she wants instead.

This is obviously still bothering the guy...so yes...he's going to need some real therapy to get past this...but I can't see him ever truly getting past this without her involvement in the healing process. And if he doesn't identify to her what exactly is bothering him...then how in the hell can she address the issues?

Whoa, relax. I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm saying what works for you may not work for him. In fact, we can be almost sure it won't, as you can plainly see you have very different personalities. I too know where some of their issues lie but going through that the 1,000th time isn't getting anywhere anymore.

Think about all the scenarios that could come from your letter solution. It's out of character for him and she could go a million ways with it. All of which end up in marriage counseling anyway.

All I am saying he needs to get PROFESSIONAL help (that means both of them). It's okay really. It's silly to think a message board can diagnose him/them or whatever. We won't be solving anything for them from a keyboard.

Edited by Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why not send it to her?

Am I understanding you right here? You're saying he should get counseling...and that's it?

She doesn't address these dangling issues at all? She doesn't go to counseling with him?

I'm sorry...but I'm one for direct approach in life. The truth is the truth...and I've no fear of it. If I've got a problem with my wife...that I can't let go of...then I let my wife know about it.

Otherwise...what?

I could only blame myself for the hurt feelings because I never told her I had a real problem with whatever it was. If I told her and she still did whatever it is...then it's on her. She's making a conscious decision to forego my feelings/ignore my wishes and do whatever it is she wants instead.

This is obviously still bothering the guy...so yes...he's going to need some real therapy to get past this...but I can't see him ever truly getting past this without her involvement in the healing process. And if he doesn't identify to her what exactly is bothering him...then how in the hell can she address the issues?

Whoa, relax. I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm saying what works for you may not work for him. In fact, we can be almost sure it won't, as you can plainly see you have very different personalities. I too know where some of their issues lie but going through that the 1,000th time isn't getting anywhere anymore.

Think about all the scenarios that could come from your letter solution. It's out of character for him and she could go a million ways with it. All of which end up in marriage counseling anyway.

All I am saying he needs to get PROFESSIONAL help (that means both of them). It's okay really. It's silly to think a message board can diagnose him/them or whatever. We won't be solving anything for them from a keyboard.

And you still didn't answer my question. I can't believe you took the time to bold all that crap but completely skip over the very first line.

Why not send it to her?

And what does, "she could go a million ways with it" mean?

Finally...so what...if she reads it and they "all end up in counseling anyway"...least this way it'll identify exactly what is bothering him and they'll know what it is they need to address when they do ultimately end up in that counseling.

The guy needs to be more direct anyway. You say my way won't work for him...because we're different...whatever...I'm saying that if you finally do convince this guy to consider counseling his way...it'll end up something like this:

Manhat: Hey...wanna go to counseling?

HoseBeast: NO! I'm sorry Manhat, but this is a non-issue...and I've got laundry to do before our next camping trip.

Manhat: Oh...uh...well...OK.

[ManHat then runs to fbgs.com]: "Guys...I suggested counseling...she doesn't think it's necessary. I'm really bothered by her attitude."

[Majority of replies]: "Jesus guy...grow a freaking pair and tell her it's counseling or pack your siht!"

[Ten people reply]: "3500!"

[Two people reply]: "Check cell phone records!"

[sonny Lubick replies after bolding every tenth word of various posts]: "Guys...you can't suggest what you would do...you're not him...Manhat...continue doing what you're doing...it's YOUR process...not theirs!"

Edited by tdoss

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why not send it to her?

Am I understanding you right here? You're saying he should get counseling...and that's it?

She doesn't address these dangling issues at all? She doesn't go to counseling with him?

I'm sorry...but I'm one for direct approach in life. The truth is the truth...and I've no fear of it. If I've got a problem with my wife...that I can't let go of...then I let my wife know about it.

Otherwise...what?

I could only blame myself for the hurt feelings because I never told her I had a real problem with whatever it was. If I told her and she still did whatever it is...then it's on her. She's making a conscious decision to forego my feelings/ignore my wishes and do whatever it is she wants instead.

This is obviously still bothering the guy...so yes...he's going to need some real therapy to get past this...but I can't see him ever truly getting past this without her involvement in the healing process. And if he doesn't identify to her what exactly is bothering him...then how in the hell can she address the issues?

Whoa, relax. I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm saying what works for you may not work for him. In fact, we can be almost sure it won't, as you can plainly see you have very different personalities. I too know where some of their issues lie but going through that the 1,000th time isn't getting anywhere anymore.

Think about all the scenarios that could come from your letter solution. It's out of character for him and she could go a million ways with it. All of which end up in marriage counseling anyway.

All I am saying he needs to get PROFESSIONAL help (that means both of them). It's okay really. It's silly to think a message board can diagnose him/them or whatever. We won't be solving anything for them from a keyboard.

And you still didn't answer my question. I can't believe you took the time to bold all that crap but completely skip over the very first line.

Why not send it to her?

And what does, "she could go a million ways with it" mean?

Finally...so what...if she reads it and they "all end up in counseling anyway"...least this way it'll identify exactly what is bothering him and they'll know what it is they need to address when they do ultimately end up in that counseling.

The guy needs to be more direct anyway. You say my way won't work for him...because we're different...whatever...I'm saying that if you finally do convince this guy to consider counseling his way...it'll end up something like this:

Manhat: Hey...wanna go to counseling?

HoseBeast: NO! I'm sorry Manhat, but this is a non-issue...and I've got laundry to do before our next camping trip.

Manhat: Oh...uh...well...OK.

[ManHat then runs to fbgs.com]: "Guys...I suggested counseling...she doesn't think it's necessary. I'm really bothered by her attitude."

[Majority of replies]: "Jesus guy...grow a freaking pair and tell her it's counseling or pack your siht!"

[Ten people reply]: "3500!"

[Two people reply]: "Check cell phone records!"

[sonny Lubick replies after bolding every tenth word of various posts]: "Guys...you can't suggest what you would do...you're not him...Manhat...continue doing what you're doing...it's YOUR process...not theirs!"

Give it a rest...It is about time to lock this thread

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

60 pages in roughly a week....and to think I was impressed with the "What beer are you drinking?" thread all this time.

that one has staying power. this one is about done.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why not send it to her?

Am I understanding you right here? You're saying he should get counseling...and that's it?

She doesn't address these dangling issues at all? She doesn't go to counseling with him?

I'm sorry...but I'm one for direct approach in life. The truth is the truth...and I've no fear of it. If I've got a problem with my wife...that I can't let go of...then I let my wife know about it.

Otherwise...what?

I could only blame myself for the hurt feelings because I never told her I had a real problem with whatever it was. If I told her and she still did whatever it is...then it's on her. She's making a conscious decision to forego my feelings/ignore my wishes and do whatever it is she wants instead.

This is obviously still bothering the guy...so yes...he's going to need some real therapy to get past this...but I can't see him ever truly getting past this without her involvement in the healing process. And if he doesn't identify to her what exactly is bothering him...then how in the hell can she address the issues?

Whoa, relax. I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm saying what works for you may not work for him. In fact, we can be almost sure it won't, as you can plainly see you have very different personalities. I too know where some of their issues lie but going through that the 1,000th time isn't getting anywhere anymore.

Think about all the scenarios that could come from your letter solution. It's out of character for him and she could go a million ways with it. All of which end up in marriage counseling anyway.

All I am saying he needs to get PROFESSIONAL help (that means both of them). It's okay really. It's silly to think a message board can diagnose him/them or whatever. We won't be solving anything for them from a keyboard.

And you still didn't answer my question. I can't believe you took the time to bold all that crap but completely skip over the very first line.

Why not send it to her?

And what does, "she could go a million ways with it" mean?

Finally...so what...if she reads it and they "all end up in counseling anyway"...least this way it'll identify exactly what is bothering him and they'll know what it is they need to address when they do ultimately end up in that counseling.

The guy needs to be more direct anyway. You say my way won't work for him...because we're different...whatever...I'm saying that if you finally do convince this guy to consider counseling his way...it'll end up something like this:

Manhat: Hey...wanna go to counseling?

HoseBeast: NO! I'm sorry Manhat, but this is a non-issue...and I've got laundry to do before our next camping trip.

Manhat: Oh...uh...well...OK.

[ManHat then runs to fbgs.com]: "Guys...I suggested counseling...she doesn't think it's necessary. I'm really bothered by her attitude."

[Majority of replies]: "Jesus guy...grow a freaking pair and tell her it's counseling or pack your siht!"

[Ten people reply]: "3500!"

[Two people reply]: "Check cell phone records!"

[sonny Lubick replies after bolding every tenth word of various posts]: "Guys...you can't suggest what you would do...you're not him...Manhat...continue doing what you're doing...it's YOUR process...not theirs!"

:thumbup:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

18 Years for me. Not worth it to me meaning: The agonizing. I know how I am and I am not as forgiving as some and to put 18 years in and and know something like this has happened where does that leave you? 18 years down the drain or what? I have contemplated this many times and cannot see me clearing it out of my head. Can you honestly say you could forgive truly and clear the slate?

Being cheated on would hurt, but I think losing my wife would hurt even more. Marriages weaker than ours have survived infidelity.
I'm willing to endure a lot of hurt if it saves my sons the hurt of growing up in a broken home.
WHOA!Do you think kids are better off growing up in a household where both Mom and Dad are miserable, but stay together for the kids; or two households in which both mom and dad are happy but not together? LAUNCH
How many divorced people do you know who are happy? Most of the ones I know are miserable, especially the ones with kids.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How many divorced people do you know who are happy? Most of the ones I know are miserable, especially the ones with kids.

Quite a few actually. Why?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How many divorced people do you know who are happy? Most of the ones I know are miserable, especially the ones with kids.

Quite a few actually. Why?
Because most of the parents I know who got divorced weren't any happier after ending their marriages. So instead of living in a two parent home where both parents were miserable, their kids split time between two one parent homes where both parents were still miserable.A few weeks ago I was on a trip and I met a couple of guys who both had kids and had both been divorced. They described how painful it was to go through divorce, and how difficult it was to try to create a normal life for their kids. So any of you guys who are going through a rough spot in your marriage, don't think getting a divorce is going to make things any better.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think at this point he should let it go. I agree that she walked a fine line, I'm sure she knows not to do it again. Both stories seem to add up that not a lot happened.

Have the two of them(MITYH and his wife) had any physical contact since the camping trip? That would tell a lot about what happened in the bathroom.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why not send it to her?

Am I understanding you right here? You're saying he should get counseling...and that's it?

She doesn't address these dangling issues at all? She doesn't go to counseling with him?

I'm sorry...but I'm one for direct approach in life. The truth is the truth...and I've no fear of it. If I've got a problem with my wife...that I can't let go of...then I let my wife know about it.

Otherwise...what?

I could only blame myself for the hurt feelings because I never told her I had a real problem with whatever it was. If I told her and she still did whatever it is...then it's on her. She's making a conscious decision to forego my feelings/ignore my wishes and do whatever it is she wants instead.

This is obviously still bothering the guy...so yes...he's going to need some real therapy to get past this...but I can't see him ever truly getting past this without her involvement in the healing process. And if he doesn't identify to her what exactly is bothering him...then how in the hell can she address the issues?

Whoa, relax. I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm saying what works for you may not work for him. In fact, we can be almost sure it won't, as you can plainly see you have very different personalities. I too know where some of their issues lie but going through that the 1,000th time isn't getting anywhere anymore.

Think about all the scenarios that could come from your letter solution. It's out of character for him and she could go a million ways with it. All of which end up in marriage counseling anyway.

All I am saying he needs to get PROFESSIONAL help (that means both of them). It's okay really. It's silly to think a message board can diagnose him/them or whatever. We won't be solving anything for them from a keyboard.

And you still didn't answer my question. I can't believe you took the time to bold all that crap but completely skip over the very first line.

Why not send it to her?

And what does, "she could go a million ways with it" mean?

Finally...so what...if she reads it and they "all end up in counseling anyway"...least this way it'll identify exactly what is bothering him and they'll know what it is they need to address when they do ultimately end up in that counseling.

The guy needs to be more direct anyway. You say my way won't work for him...because we're different...whatever...I'm saying that if you finally do convince this guy to consider counseling his way...it'll end up something like this:

Manhat: Hey...wanna go to counseling?

HoseBeast: NO! I'm sorry Manhat, but this is a non-issue...and I've got laundry to do before our next camping trip.

Manhat: Oh...uh...well...OK.

[ManHat then runs to fbgs.com]: "Guys...I suggested counseling...she doesn't think it's necessary. I'm really bothered by her attitude."

[Majority of replies]: "Jesus guy...grow a freaking pair and tell her it's counseling or pack your siht!"

[Ten people reply]: "3500!"

[Two people reply]: "Check cell phone records!"

[sonny Lubick replies after bolding every tenth word of various posts]: "Guys...you can't suggest what you would do...you're not him...Manhat...continue doing what you're doing...it's YOUR process...not theirs!"

:lmao:
Dr. Tdoss to Yellow Hat: You need to put your feelings on to paper. Yeah, that's it. Just let it all out. But don't be so hasty as to let your temper get the best of you. Tuck it away somewhere nobody knows...and sleep on it. When you awaken, read it again...and again if you have to. Then rewrite your feelings in a more constructive manner until you feel comfortable with what you have to say.

SLBD to Yellow Hat: You need serious help dude. Get a professional instead of a message board.

Dr. Tdoss (the Truth Master): When the time is right, send your heartfelt rewritten letter to your loved one in hopes that she will understand your feelings better. That's the way I do it, so it works. :lmao:

Oh the irony in a two day letter-writing process being the "manly" thing here... :lmao: ..then leaving the letter for her to read instead of facing her. Problem solved. :rant: GOLD I tell ya.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Holy ####. I'm not the end all be all of advice around here, but talk with your woman and get answers (a helluva lot easier said than done, I know). If you have a relationship, you should be able to figure out a way to get her to open up...I was with my ex for 7 months and knew the buttons to push to get her to open up, especially after she cheated on me and I had the reason to ask those questions. Anyways...I talked with my woman and we got back together and things were great...then I stopped talking with her and the #### hit the proverbial fan...TALK WITH YOUR WOMAN

Sorry MITYH, thats the best I got as I've had a few hundred beers tonight, I honestly feel your pain...but I am in MKE, so IIRC, if you're around here, PM me and lets grab a brew, otherwise I though Greg is in SE WI...let me know, I can pay a ###### a visit...

Edited by strykerpks

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why not send it to her?

Am I understanding you right here? You're saying he should get counseling...and that's it?

She doesn't address these dangling issues at all? She doesn't go to counseling with him?

I'm sorry...but I'm one for direct approach in life. The truth is the truth...and I've no fear of it. If I've got a problem with my wife...that I can't let go of...then I let my wife know about it.

Otherwise...what?

I could only blame myself for the hurt feelings because I never told her I had a real problem with whatever it was. If I told her and she still did whatever it is...then it's on her. She's making a conscious decision to forego my feelings/ignore my wishes and do whatever it is she wants instead.

This is obviously still bothering the guy...so yes...he's going to need some real therapy to get past this...but I can't see him ever truly getting past this without her involvement in the healing process. And if he doesn't identify to her what exactly is bothering him...then how in the hell can she address the issues?

Whoa, relax. I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm saying what works for you may not work for him. In fact, we can be almost sure it won't, as you can plainly see you have very different personalities. I too know where some of their issues lie but going through that the 1,000th time isn't getting anywhere anymore.

Think about all the scenarios that could come from your letter solution. It's out of character for him and she could go a million ways with it. All of which end up in marriage counseling anyway.

All I am saying he needs to get PROFESSIONAL help (that means both of them). It's okay really. It's silly to think a message board can diagnose him/them or whatever. We won't be solving anything for them from a keyboard.

And you still didn't answer my question. I can't believe you took the time to bold all that crap but completely skip over the very first line.

Why not send it to her?

And what does, "she could go a million ways with it" mean?

Finally...so what...if she reads it and they "all end up in counseling anyway"...least this way it'll identify exactly what is bothering him and they'll know what it is they need to address when they do ultimately end up in that counseling.

The guy needs to be more direct anyway. You say my way won't work for him...because we're different...whatever...I'm saying that if you finally do convince this guy to consider counseling his way...it'll end up something like this:

Manhat: Hey...wanna go to counseling?

HoseBeast: NO! I'm sorry Manhat, but this is a non-issue...and I've got laundry to do before our next camping trip.

Manhat: Oh...uh...well...OK.

[ManHat then runs to fbgs.com]: "Guys...I suggested counseling...she doesn't think it's necessary. I'm really bothered by her attitude."

[Majority of replies]: "Jesus guy...grow a freaking pair and tell her it's counseling or pack your siht!"

[Ten people reply]: "3500!"

[Two people reply]: "Check cell phone records!"

[sonny Lubick replies after bolding every tenth word of various posts]: "Guys...you can't suggest what you would do...you're not him...Manhat...continue doing what you're doing...it's YOUR process...not theirs!"

:no:
Dr. Tdoss to Yellow Hat: You need to put your feelings on to paper. Yeah, that's it. Just let it all out. But don't be so hasty as to let your temper get the best of you. Tuck it away somewhere nobody knows...and sleep on it. When you awaken, read it again...and again if you have to. Then rewrite your feelings in a more constructive manner until you feel comfortable with what you have to say.

SLBD to Yellow Hat: You need serious help dude. Get a professional instead of a message board.

Dr. Tdoss (the Truth Master): When the time is right, send your heartfelt rewritten letter to your loved one in hopes that she will understand your feelings better. That's the way I do it, so it works. :loco:

Oh the irony in a two day letter-writing process being the "manly" thing here... :popcorn: ..then leaving the letter for her to read instead of facing her. Problem solved. :lmao: GOLD I tell ya.

I never said that's what I do...you idiot.

I'm saying that's what this schmuck should do since he can't seem to find it in himself to confront anyone in his life. Write down everything that is bothering him and give it to her. It'll be easier for him to get it all out...help him work his way through it and would better convey everything that is on his mind rather than bringing up something...have her shine him on and then he takes the easy way out by just accepting...walking off...then coming on here to complain about her attitude.

Look doofus...I'll give you credit...you're all knowing...you're the first and only one to mention counseling...all hail...the mighty Sonny Lildick.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I never said that's what I do...you idiot.I'm saying that's what this schmuck should do since he can't seem to find it in himself to confront anyone in his life. Write down everything that is bothering him and give it to her. It'll be easier for him to get it all out...help him work his way through it and would better convey everything that is on his mind rather than bringing up something...have her shine him on and then he takes the easy way out by just accepting...walking off...then coming on here to complain about her attitude.Look doofus...I'll give you credit...you're all knowing...you're the first and only one to mention counseling...all hail...the mighty Sonny Lildick.

TDoss has alot of :no: in this threadLet it all out. However.....I do disagree with giving the "letter" to her though. More times than not, in my own personal experience, its been more theraputic for me to type or write out the letter and NOT send it...that way I'm (or MITYH is) not unleashing unnecessary anger/hurt/rage on a presumably innocent party (has she been PROVEN guilty yet?)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Has anyone suggested checking the phone records yet?

:pttp:
:topcat:
:ptts: but with a phone :shrug:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Those making the tough-guy responses in this thread should think about exactly what they are saying and recommending here. A confident, strong, trusting man does not chase his wife around, angrily confront her and others, spy on her personal phone records, play juvenile games of deception and make crazy demands. Those are the actions of a weak person who lacks confidence in his marriage in my opinion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Steve is the real victim here. He now has to deal with 2 crazy women.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So after some PMs went around yesterday, I started to realize just how passive I had become. So, I sat down the wife and talked out a lot of this last night.

She is sticking with she can't remember. I pushed her pretty hard on that. I also asked what was going on in our lives that would make her cross the line from joking to walking into a situation where a lot could happen. She said she couldn't think of anything specific, but would think about it the next few days to try to figure out if something really was bothering her deep down. Fair enough, I said.

I also asked if she really realized what may have happened. I explained that for many guys, drinking or not, all it would take to bring them to ready position was a women touching them in certain place. I said "Think of what would happen if you did that to me. What would be my body's natural reaction?" This was a sort of the 'ah ha' moment in a way.

At one point she said, "Why do I get the feeling we're going to talk about this every day for the rest of my life." My response: "What's the altnerative? I don't say anything, get angry, which then spills over to you and our kids? How does that feel for us?" I made it very clear that all I'm asking her to do is hear me out. When I need to get something off my chest about this, she better be there to listen. The alternative is not a pretty picture long term. She definitely got the message.

In any case, we again covered a lot of ground.

Edited by Man in the yellow hat

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Manhat: Hey...wanna go to counseling?

HoseBeast: NO! I'm sorry Manhat, but this is a non-issue...and I've got laundry to do before our next camping trip.

Manhat: Oh...uh...well...OK.

[ManHat then runs to fbgs.com]: "Guys...I suggested counseling...she doesn't think it's necessary. I'm really bothered by her attitude."

[Majority of replies]: "Jesus guy...grow a freaking pair and tell her it's counseling or pack your siht!"

[Ten people reply]: "3500!"

[Two people reply]: "Check cell phone records!"

[sonny Lubick replies after bolding every tenth word of various posts]: "Guys...you can't suggest what you would do...you're not him...Manhat...continue doing what you're doing...it's YOUR process...not theirs!"

:lmao:

This little showdown between tdoss and Sonny is distracting, but this is some seriously funny stuff right here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Those making the tough-guy responses in this thread should think about exactly what they are saying and recommending here. A confident, strong, trusting man does not chase his wife around, angrily confront her and others, spy on her personal phone records, play juvenile games of deception and make crazy demands. Those are the actions of a weak person who lacks confidence in his marriage in my opinion.

A confident, strong trusting man also doesn't let himself get walked all over. It's already glaringly apparent that MITYH's marriage has trust/confidence issues...

I'm in tdoss' corner on the this one. Maybe not the "write a letter" philosophy, but I do agree with tdoss in that MITYH needs to step up to his wife and HAVE IT OUT! No walking away, no "I thought this was over"... because for MITYH it's obviously not over.

MITYH... send the kids to the Grandparents for the night, turn off the TV, sit down and HAVE IT OUT. Have a good cry, yell, hug, stomp... whatever. Get it out! You'll feel better for it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So after some PMs went around yesterday, I started to realize just how passive I had become. So, I sat down the wife and talked out a lot of this last night.She is sticking with she can't remember. I pushed her pretty hard on that. I also asked what was going on in our lives that would make her cross the line from joking to walking into a situation where a lot could happen. She said she couldn't think of anything specific, but would think about it the next few days to try to figure out if something really was bothering her deep down. Fair enough, I said.I also asked if she really realized what may have happened. I explained that for many guys, drinking or not, all it would take to bring them to ready position was a women touching them in certain place. I said "Think of what would happen if you did that to me. What would be my body's natural reaction?" This was a sort of 'ah ha' moment in a way. At one point she said, "Why do I get the feeling we're going to talk about this every day for the rest of my life." My response: "What's the altnerative? I don't say anything, get angry, which then spills over to you and our kids? How does that feel for us?" I made it very clear that all I'm asking her to do is hear me out. When I need to get something off my chest about this, she better be there to listen. The altnerative is not a pretty picture long term. She definitely go the message.In any case, we again covered a lot of ground.

:lmao: I don't like the way things are going here. It seems like the harder you try to be assertive with your wife, the more you come off looking like a patsy. I can empathize with your frustration.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So after some PMs went around yesterday, I started to realize just how passive I had become. So, I sat down the wife and talked out a lot of this last night.

She is sticking with she can't remember. I pushed her pretty hard on that. I also asked what was going on in our lives that would make her cross the line from joking to walking into a situation where a lot could happen. She said she couldn't think of anything specific, but would think about it the next few days to try to figure out if something really was bothering her deep down. Fair enough, I said.

I also asked if she really realized what may have happened. I explained that for many guys, drinking or not, all it would take to bring them to ready position was a women touching them in certain place. I said "Think of what would happen if you did that to me. What would be my body's natural reaction?" This was a sort of 'ah ha' moment in a way.

At one point she said, "Why do I get the feeling we're going to talk about this every day for the rest of my life." My response: "What's the altnerative? I don't say anything, get angry, which then spills over to you and our kids? How does that feel for us?" I made it very clear that all I'm asking her to do is hear me out. When I need to get something off my chest about this, she better be there to listen. The altnerative is not a pretty picture long term. She definitely go the message.

In any case, we again covered a lot of ground.

Good man. That's a good start.

But do yourself a favor: If you don't feel you have gotten the resolution you need, keep at it. Because like you said, it'll spill over into animosity, and no marriage should have one person at the other's throat. You'll have a disagreement about what brand of TP to buy, and the camping trip will come out all over again.

Edited by Kit Fisto

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So after some PMs went around yesterday, I started to realize just how passive I had become. So, I sat down the wife and talked out a lot of this last night.

She is sticking with she can't remember. I pushed her pretty hard on that. I also asked what was going on in our lives that would make her cross the line from joking to walking into a situation where a lot could happen. She said she couldn't think of anything specific, but would think about it the next few days to try to figure out if something really was bothering her deep down. Fair enough, I said.

I also asked if she really realized what may have happened. I explained that for many guys, drinking or not, all it would take to bring them to ready position was a women touching them in certain place. I said "Think of what would happen if you did that to me. What would be my body's natural reaction?" This was a sort of 'ah ha' moment in a way.

At one point she said, "Why do I get the feeling we're going to talk about this every day for the rest of my life." My response: "What's the altnerative? I don't say anything, get angry, which then spills over to you and our kids? How does that feel for us?" I made it very clear that all I'm asking her to do is hear me out. When I need to get something off my chest about this, she better be there to listen. The altnerative is not a pretty picture long term. She definitely go the message.

In any case, we again covered a lot of ground.

Dude, wtf...

Comments aside, I personally wanted to thank you for being a good soldier and continuing to provide us with updates. It can't be easy when there are plenty of people here bashing you (warranted in some cases).

FFA entertainment aside, there are a LOT of great posts in this thread about life and relationships, from many different points of view, and I think threads like this make the FFA what it is...

I sincerely hope that WIFE comes around and you guys work this out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bro... I hate to sway back towards the opinion that she may have fooled around at least a little bit here but it sounds a whole lot like my ex with the responses she's giving you. If somethings bothering her so bad that she needs a few days to think about it, it's likely a big deal and not some "you don't pick up your socks and put them in the dirty clothes" type of thing. She may feel unappreciated. She may feel like her life isn't amounting to what she had hoped. (This is very typical of a stay-at-home-mom.)

Also for her to say that she gets the feeling you're going to talk about it every day for the rest of her life means she just wants it to be over. She knows what she did. And I think she did more than you know now, and her wanting it to go away so badly only enforces that in my mind.

She isn't seeing the hurt in your mind, she's seeing the guilt in hers. If she wanted to pacify you, she'd be apologizing for what may have happened instead of ignoring it and wishing it to go away.

Something BIG is up here man. This is far from over. Some advice..... Be assertive and strong minded from now on. Something as simple as deciding what to have for dinner instead of saying "I don't care honey, whatever you are hungry for" can make a difference. The more decisions you make, the less of a pushover you appear to be.

Also, don't beg her or cry to her about any of this or any other dispute. Not saying you should be a hard ### but you definitely need to let her know that you are not a pushover. Act very much "AS IF" you are not hurt by what happened, but instead act like you will NOT tolerate it ever happening again. You need to do a complete 180 turnaround here in your demeanor.

Seriously man, good luck. And if you need advice on a good forum that can help you through this stuff, please feel free to PM me. I've been where you are and it helped me tremendously.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Only advice I can give from the current update is for you to remember that your feelings are the most important at the moment, not hers. It doesnt matter that talking about it is not easy for her ... working through your wife at minimum 'handling your slutty friends schlong' and at worst '####### him through in the bathroom stall' for you is 100x more difficult.

Good luck, do whatever it takes to make you happy in the long run

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So after some PMs went around yesterday, I started to realize just how passive I had become. So, I sat down the wife and talked out a lot of this last night.She is sticking with she can't remember. I pushed her pretty hard on that. I also asked what was going on in our lives that would make her cross the line from joking to walking into a situation where a lot could happen. She said she couldn't think of anything specific, but would think about it the next few days to try to figure out if something really was bothering her deep down. Fair enough, I said.I also asked if she really realized what may have happened. I explained that for many guys, drinking or not, all it would take to bring them to ready position was a women touching them in certain place. I said "Think of what would happen if you did that to me. What would be my body's natural reaction?" This was a sort of the 'ah ha' moment in a way. At one point she said, "Why do I get the feeling we're going to talk about this every day for the rest of my life." My response: "What's the altnerative? I don't say anything, get angry, which then spills over to you and our kids? How does that feel for us?" I made it very clear that all I'm asking her to do is hear me out. When I need to get something off my chest about this, she better be there to listen. The alternative is not a pretty picture long term. She definitely got the message.In any case, we again covered a lot of ground.

At this point it is unlikely that you are ever going to know how far things went in the stall. If you love her and feel that she still loves you and you don't want to divorce then just drop the whole thing. I doubt that either one of you would allow something like this to happen again.Stop at the florist on the way home from work, get her some flowers, and tell her that you want to move on. Tell her you won't bring it up and don't ever bring it up again. I guarantee that you and her will feel a lot better.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So after some PMs went around yesterday, I started to realize just how passive I had become. So, I sat down the wife and talked out a lot of this last night.

She is sticking with she can't remember. I pushed her pretty hard on that. I also asked what was going on in our lives that would make her cross the line from joking to walking into a situation where a lot could happen. She said she couldn't think of anything specific, but would think about it the next few days to try to figure out if something really was bothering her deep down. Fair enough, I said.

I also asked if she really realized what may have happened. I explained that for many guys, drinking or not, all it would take to bring them to ready position was a women touching them in certain place. I said "Think of what would happen if you did that to me. What would be my body's natural reaction?" This was a sort of the 'ah ha' moment in a way.

At one point she said, "Why do I get the feeling we're going to talk about this every day for the rest of my life." My response: "What's the altnerative? I don't say anything, get angry, which then spills over to you and our kids? How does that feel for us?" I made it very clear that all I'm asking her to do is hear me out. When I need to get something off my chest about this, she better be there to listen. The alternative is not a pretty picture long term. She definitely got the message.

In any case, we again covered a lot of ground.

The answer is obvious, alcohol. The same thing that kept you sitting on you #### when your buddy told you twice that your wife was in the stall with the dude.

Another question, what are you exactly expecting your wife to say? It seems to me that the only answer/explanation you are willing to accept is that she messed around with Steve. You keep refusing to accept "nothing" or "I don't remember".

MrGuy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For the 1000000000th time, is there ANY chance you can sit not so curious George's ### down and get anything else out of him? Tell him that guy #3 confirmed that George told him something happened in the stall, and you remember George specifically telling you to go check on the wife.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not liking the "give me a few days" comment at all. What I would suggest is that you lay off probing, commenting or pushing about what happened during the camping trip. I would also make plans to have someone watch the kids and tell your wife that you are making time for a heart-to-heart discussion in three days to discuss all your issues (including her "give me a few days" issues). Mention you have considered marriage counseling (remember to enforce that its a trust issue) but before going that route you want to give it a shot to clear the air without going through that. This will ensure that she knows just where you stand and the severity of the issue.

Like everything, this is just another alternative available to you. I wish you the best of luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For the 1000000000th time, is there ANY chance you can sit not so curious George's ### down and get anything else out of him? Tell him that guy #3 confirmed that George told him something happened in the stall, and you remember George specifically telling you to go check on the wife.

George did his part when he said to check on what was happening at the time. He is friends with all parties, and was friend enough to stick his neck out at the time. Due to alcohol, etc, no check was made. Now you want him to pull Geaorge off the fence into the middle of something? My ex-wife was fooling around with friend(s). For a time I was obsessed with finding out the details, even though we had split up. All that did was put people on the spot who were stuck on a fence. Unless there is some legal reason (like when my ex tried to sue me for support) then leave George alone about it. Out of the whole thing he is the one who tried to do right. Don't make him regret it.Get this incident behind you, write Steve off, get some counseling, and keep a check for any future contact between wife and Steve. No more camping with this group. Pay wife some special attention. Be more assertive with her (but not mean). And thank George for the alert, and promise to leave him alone about it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Stop at the florist on the way home from work, get her some flowers, and tell her that you want to move on. Tell her you won't bring it up and don't ever bring it up again. I guarantee that you and her will feel a lot better.

She cheats on him and he has to buy her flowers. That's great.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For the 1000000000th time, is there ANY chance you can sit not so curious George's ### down and get anything else out of him? Tell him that guy #3 confirmed that George told him something happened in the stall, and you remember George specifically telling you to go check on the wife.

George did his part when he said to check on what was happening at the time. He is friends with all parties, and was friend enough to stick his neck out at the time. Due to alcohol, etc, no check was made. Now you want him to pull Geaorge off the fence into the middle of something? My ex-wife was fooling around with friend(s). For a time I was obsessed with finding out the details, even though we had split up. All that did was put people on the spot who were stuck on a fence. Unless there is some legal reason (like when my ex tried to sue me for support) then leave George alone about it. Out of the whole thing he is the one who tried to do right. Don't make him regret it.Get this incident behind you, write Steve off, get some counseling, and keep a check for any future contact between wife and Steve. No more camping with this group. Pay wife some special attention. Be more assertive with her (but not mean). And thank George for the alert, and promise to leave him alone about it.
I agree that's what he should do if he thinks this isn't going to eat away at him for the rest of their marriage. If he is afraid it will, then it seems like George is his only option left if he thinks he's going to find out anything more.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Stop at the florist on the way home from work, get her some flowers, and tell her that you want to move on. Tell her you won't bring it up and don't ever bring it up again. I guarantee that you and her will feel a lot better.

She cheats on him and he has to buy her flowers. That's great.
I would have an awfully hard time apologizing or sucking up to the wife at this point - even if she really doesn't remember anything.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Stop at the florist on the way home from work, get her some flowers, and tell her that you want to move on. Tell her you won't bring it up and don't ever bring it up again. I guarantee that you and her will feel a lot better.

She cheats on him and he has to buy her flowers. That's great.
I would have an awfully hard time apologizing or sucking up to the wife at this point - even if she really doesn't remember anything.
"You feel that sting, big boy, huh? That's pride ####IN' with you! You gotta fight through that ####!""Pride only hurts, it never helps."
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So after some PMs went around yesterday, I started to realize just how passive I had become. So, I sat down the wife and talked out a lot of this last night.She is sticking with she can't remember. I pushed her pretty hard on that. I also asked what was going on in our lives that would make her cross the line from joking to walking into a situation where a lot could happen. She said she couldn't think of anything specific, but would think about it the next few days to try to figure out if something really was bothering her deep down. Fair enough, I said.I also asked if she really realized what may have happened. I explained that for many guys, drinking or not, all it would take to bring them to ready position was a women touching them in certain place. I said "Think of what would happen if you did that to me. What would be my body's natural reaction?" This was a sort of the 'ah ha' moment in a way. At one point she said, "Why do I get the feeling we're going to talk about this every day for the rest of my life." My response: "What's the altnerative? I don't say anything, get angry, which then spills over to you and our kids? How does that feel for us?" I made it very clear that all I'm asking her to do is hear me out. When I need to get something off my chest about this, she better be there to listen. The alternative is not a pretty picture long term. She definitely got the message.In any case, we again covered a lot of ground.

I guess my questions would be: 1. Do you believe Steve's version, on how far it went, or do you think Steve admitted whatever Steve thought was witnessed by someone else and denied everything else, but more happened? (Not do you suspect more happened, do you believe more happened.) 2. Do you believe she does not remember? 3. What could you do to get any more information on either topic? (The answer to this appears to be "nothing." You questioned George, you questioned Steve, you questioned her repeatedly and confronted her with what Steve admitted, correct?) So, while it's not satisfactory, you have all the information you're going to get, unless she volunteers something new. It sounds like she made a drunken pass at Steve, but, maybe took a grab for him in the stall, most likely that was it. Now think about it from her perspective. She knows what she did, at least in part, based on what you have relayed to her. She may know more. But, she's trying to figure out a way to handle you. That's what she needs a few days to think about, not whether she's bothered deep down by some unknown issue whether something's bothering her. Good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Manhat: Hey...wanna go to counseling?

HoseBeast: NO! I'm sorry Manhat, but this is a non-issue...and I've got laundry to do before our next camping trip.

Manhat: Oh...uh...well...OK.

[ManHat then runs to fbgs.com]: "Guys...I suggested counseling...she doesn't think it's necessary. I'm really bothered by her attitude."

[Majority of replies]: "Jesus guy...grow a freaking pair and tell her it's counseling or pack your siht!"

[Ten people reply]: "3500!"

[Two people reply]: "Check cell phone records!"

[sonny Lubick replies after bolding every tenth word of various posts]: "Guys...you can't suggest what you would do...you're not him...Manhat...continue doing what you're doing...it's YOUR process...not theirs!"

:lmao:

This little showdown between tdoss and Sonny is distracting, but this is some seriously funny stuff right here.

:lmao:

No doubt. Two of my favorite posters on the boards too. It's like watching mommy and daddy fight, but enjoying it....like the time my mom threw a glass of water on my dad and he just kept eating his pork chops like nothing happened.

Edited by General Malaise

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bro... I hate to sway back towards the opinion that she may have fooled around at least a little bit here but it sounds a whole lot like my ex with the responses she's giving you. If somethings bothering her so bad that she needs a few days to think about it, it's likely a big deal and not some "you don't pick up your socks and put them in the dirty clothes" type of thing. She may feel unappreciated. She may feel like her life isn't amounting to what she had hoped. (This is very typical of a stay-at-home-mom.)Also for her to say that she gets the feeling you're going to talk about it every day for the rest of her life means she just wants it to be over. She knows what she did. And I think she did more than you know now, and her wanting it to go away so badly only enforces that in my mind.She isn't seeing the hurt in your mind, she's seeing the guilt in hers. If she wanted to pacify you, she'd be apologizing for what may have happened instead of ignoring it and wishing it to go away. Something BIG is up here man. This is far from over. Some advice..... Be assertive and strong minded from now on. Something as simple as deciding what to have for dinner instead of saying "I don't care honey, whatever you are hungry for" can make a difference. The more decisions you make, the less of a pushover you appear to be. Also, don't beg her or cry to her about any of this or any other dispute. Not saying you should be a hard ### but you definitely need to let her know that you are not a pushover. Act very much "AS IF" you are not hurt by what happened, but instead act like you will NOT tolerate it ever happening again. You need to do a complete 180 turnaround here in your demeanor.Seriously man, good luck. And if you need advice on a good forum that can help you through this stuff, please feel free to PM me. I've been where you are and it helped me tremendously.

:lmao: MITYH I think this is great advice... This is a critical fork in the road in your marriage and in your life. 'I don't remember', 'when do we get to stop talking about this', and showing a lack of interest in counseling to help both of you improve your marriage isn't going to allow you to ever put this behind you. You and your marriage were not treated with the proper respect, and your wife certainly bears responsibility here, but you've got a lot of work to do as well. If you really want to have a marriage worth keeping then not only must your wife have a strong desire to preserve/fix the marriage, but also she must begin to see you differently than she did prior to the infamous bathroom incident. If you have your wife's respect, then you probably won't have to worry about her putting herself in these types of situations. You don't have to be a jerk, but you definitely need to become more assertive, strong minded, etc.Good Luck MITYH

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So after some PMs went around yesterday, I started to realize just how passive I had become. So, I sat down the wife and talked out a lot of this last night.

She is sticking with she can't remember. I pushed her pretty hard on that. I also asked what was going on in our lives that would make her cross the line from joking to walking into a situation where a lot could happen. She said she couldn't think of anything specific, but would think about it the next few days to try to figure out if something really was bothering her deep down. Fair enough, I said.

I also asked if she really realized what may have happened. I explained that for many guys, drinking or not, all it would take to bring them to ready position was a women touching them in certain place. I said "Think of what would happen if you did that to me. What would be my body's natural reaction?" This was a sort of the 'ah ha' moment in a way.

At one point she said, "Why do I get the feeling we're going to talk about this every day for the rest of my life." My response: "What's the altnerative? I don't say anything, get angry, which then spills over to you and our kids? How does that feel for us?" I made it very clear that all I'm asking her to do is hear me out. When I need to get something off my chest about this, she better be there to listen. The alternative is not a pretty picture long term. She definitely got the message.

In any case, we again covered a lot of ground.

At this point it is unlikely that you are ever going to know how far things went in the stall. If you love her and feel that she still loves you and you don't want to divorce then just drop the whole thing. I doubt that either one of you would allow something like this to happen again.

Stop at the florist on the way home from work, get her some flowers, and tell her that you want to move on. Tell her you won't bring it up and don't ever bring it up again. I guarantee that you and her will feel a lot better.

NOT A :shrug:

I like your advice in some instances, but this isn't one of those moments. The problem here is that if Mrs. MITYH is not being truthful ('I don't remember', 'Let me have a few days to think about what to say about the incident after I have even more time to think about how to spin it', 'why are we still talking about me disappearing into a bathroom stall with your buddy Steve for 15 minutes', and 'I don't see the need for marital counseling'), then how can you guarantee MITYH that buying some flowers and telling his wife he'll never bring it up again is going to make him feel a lot better. :lmao:

It's far more likely that as time goes by, MITYH will feel unresolved, disrespected, and his distrust and pain will turn to bitterness towards his wife.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So after some PMs went around yesterday, I started to realize just how passive I had become. So, I sat down the wife and talked out a lot of this last night.

She is sticking with she can't remember. I pushed her pretty hard on that. I also asked what was going on in our lives that would make her cross the line from joking to walking into a situation where a lot could happen. She said she couldn't think of anything specific, but would think about it the next few days to try to figure out if something really was bothering her deep down. Fair enough, I said.

I also asked if she really realized what may have happened. I explained that for many guys, drinking or not, all it would take to bring them to ready position was a women touching them in certain place. I said "Think of what would happen if you did that to me. What would be my body's natural reaction?" This was a sort of the 'ah ha' moment in a way.

At one point she said, "Why do I get the feeling we're going to talk about this every day for the rest of my life." My response: "What's the altnerative? I don't say anything, get angry, which then spills over to you and our kids? How does that feel for us?" I made it very clear that all I'm asking her to do is hear me out. When I need to get something off my chest about this, she better be there to listen. The alternative is not a pretty picture long term. She definitely got the message.

In any case, we again covered a lot of ground.

At this point it is unlikely that you are ever going to know how far things went in the stall. If you love her and feel that she still loves you and you don't want to divorce then just drop the whole thing. I doubt that either one of you would allow something like this to happen again.

Stop at the florist on the way home from work, get her some flowers, and tell her that you want to move on. Tell her you won't bring it up and don't ever bring it up again. I guarantee that you and her will feel a lot better.

NOT A :thumbdown:

I like your advice in some instances, but this isn't one of those moments. The problem here is that if Mrs. MITYH is not being truthful ('I don't remember', 'Let me have a few days to think about what to say about the incident after I have even more time to think about how to spin it', 'why are we still talking about me disappearing into a bathroom stall with your buddy Steve for 15 minutes', and 'I don't see the need for marital counseling'), then how can you guarantee MITYH that buying some flowers and telling his wife he'll never bring it up again is going to make him feel a lot better. :)

It's far more likely that as time goes by, MITYH will feel unresolved, disrespected, and his distrust and pain will turn to bitterness towards his wife.

There is nothing more to be gained by continually grilling his wife. MTIYH has been through this enough times to know she isn't changing her story.

If he believes his wife loves him and he still loves her and he wants to stay with her then it is best to give her the benefit of the doubt that nothing serious happened and to chalk this whole up to being stupid/drunk. Once he moves on and quits dwelling on what might have happened I guarantee he is going to feel better.

On the other hand if he feels his wife is a lying whore that still has the hots for Steve and will jump in the sack (or stall) with him at her next opportunity then he should be filing for divorce.

Going to a counselor and/or repeatedly grilling her over and over is not the answer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Look, let's cut to the chase.

You have two choices, really. Either stay and try to repair things, or hit the road.

Sure, it sounds easy, but it's the truth.

I think your wife is full of ####, frankly. She knows what went down. That is just my opnion.

Regardless of what you want to believe, however, the truth remains that your wife refuses to do what is necessary to save your relationship. Does this sound like an innocent person to you?

If you hurt someone, and were serious about repairing a relationship with them, wouldn't you go to counseling or do what it takes to fix things? Does your wife sound like she's ready to do that?

The comment, "am I going to hear about this for the rest of my life" sounds like someone who knows damn well what they did, as opposed to someone that is regretful.

Sure, I can understand if this happened a year ago and you continued to bring it up, because I wouldn't want to hear that either, but this just happened. She has no interest in going to counseling and she doesn't seem the least bit interested in regaining your trust. She sounds as if she has a #### it attitude.

You have children involved and owe it to them to do everything you can to fix your relationship, HOWEVER, you also owe it to yourself to be happy. If she's unwilling to go to counseling, you need to walk away, not only for your sanity, but for your children. You cannot force her to love and respect you. She doesn't respect you, or your children or marriage becuase she's not fighting to keep you. She just wants to "forget" it, and doesn't acknowledge the damage this has done.

Once a person loses respect for you, good luck getting it back, especially if it's a woman.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think when you get home, you should send her out and then check her phone records and email.

:thumbdown: And then talk to George to see if he can tell you anything else.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.