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This is funny. (1 Viewer)

Some of those lyrics are frightening. :blackdot:

Once I tried to runI tried to run and hideBut Jesus came and found meand He touched me down insideHe is like a mountie He always gets his manAnd He'll zap you anyway he can
Click to expand...
 
In most of the United States, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop to single digits or below.

About 3 a.m. one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon #658 responded to a call there was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Great Falls, Montana. He located the car, stuck in deep snow, and with the engine still running. Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the trooper walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him.

The driver came awake when the trooper tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror and the state trooper standing next to his car, the man panicked. He jerked the gearshift into ''drive'' and hit the gas. The car's speedometer was showing 20, 30, 40, and then 50 mph, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning.

Trooper Nixon, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding (but stationary) car.

The driver was totally freaked, thinking the trooper was actually keeping up with him. This goes on for about 30 seconds, then the trooper yelled, "Pull over!"

The man nodded, turned his wheel, and stopped the engine.

Needless to say, the man from North Dakota was arrested, and is probably still shaking his head over the State Trooper in Montana who could run 50 miles per hour.

Who says troopers don't have a sense of humor?

 
MasterofOrion said:
In most of the United States, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop to single digits or below.About 3 a.m. one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon #658 responded to a call there was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Great Falls, Montana. He located the car, stuck in deep snow, and with the engine still running. Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the trooper walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him.The driver came awake when the trooper tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror and the state trooper standing next to his car, the man panicked. He jerked the gearshift into ''drive'' and hit the gas. The car's speedometer was showing 20, 30, 40, and then 50 mph, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning.Trooper Nixon, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding (but stationary) car.The driver was totally freaked, thinking the trooper was actually keeping up with him. This goes on for about 30 seconds, then the trooper yelled, "Pull over!"The man nodded, turned his wheel, and stopped the engine.Needless to say, the man from North Dakota was arrested, and is probably still shaking his head over the State Trooper in Montana who could run 50 miles per hour.Who says troopers don't have a sense of humor?
Click to expand...
What is this? I thought i was going to be a joke, but there was no punchline.Speedometers don't show MPH unless they're actually traveling at that speed.
 
Frank Fontaine said:


MasterofOrion said:
In most of the United States, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop to single digits or below.About 3 a.m. one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon #658 responded to a call there was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Great Falls, Montana. He located the car, stuck in deep snow, and with the engine still running. Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the trooper walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him.The driver came awake when the trooper tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror and the state trooper standing next to his car, the man panicked. He jerked the gearshift into ''drive'' and hit the gas. The car's speedometer was showing 20, 30, 40, and then 50 mph, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning.Trooper Nixon, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding (but stationary) car.The driver was totally freaked, thinking the trooper was actually keeping up with him. This goes on for about 30 seconds, then the trooper yelled, "Pull over!"The man nodded, turned his wheel, and stopped the engine.Needless to say, the man from North Dakota was arrested, and is probably still shaking his head over the State Trooper in Montana who could run 50 miles per hour.Who says troopers don't have a sense of humor?
Click to expand...
What is this? I thought i was going to be a joke, but there was no punchline.Speedometers don't show MPH unless they're actually traveling at that speed.
Click to expand...
:confused:
 
Hank Scorpio said:
Pedobear in Spore!

Paging Homer J.

On a totally unrealted note, did you know that you could get a day's vacation by suggesting that someone perform a sexual act with a blender?
Click to expand...
2 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)2 Members: Hank Scorpio, Homer J Simpson

:excited:

 
Hank Scorpio said:
Pedobear in Spore!

Paging Homer J.

On a totally unrealted note, did you know that you could get a day's vacation by suggesting that someone perform a sexual act with a blender?
Click to expand...
:excited: :P :lol: I haven't checked this thread in forever...but my Spidey Sense started tingling. Payoff!

PedoBear might be the funniest thing on the innernets.

 
Nigel Tufnel said:
Hank Scorpio said:
Nigel Tufnel said:
Hank Scorpio said:
Pedobear in Spore!

Paging Homer J.

On a totally unrealted note, did you know that you could get a day's vacation by suggesting that someone perform a sexual act with a blender?
Click to expand...
Stuart? :lmao:
Click to expand...
I know it will be less funny when you explain it but :confused: ?Pic
Click to expand...
Oh, I thought maybe you were Disco Stu.
Click to expand...
I thought it was too. I remember laughing at the blender comment the other day, but I can't recall who posted it or where. :kicksrock: Damn dead brain cells.
 
Homer J Simpson said:
Nigel Tufnel said:
Hank Scorpio said:
Nigel Tufnel said:
Hank Scorpio said:
Pedobear in Spore!

Paging Homer J.

On a totally unrealted note, did you know that you could get a day's vacation by suggesting that someone perform a sexual act with a blender?
Click to expand...
Stuart? :lmao:
Click to expand...
I know it will be less funny when you explain it but :confused: ?Pic
Click to expand...
Oh, I thought maybe you were Disco Stu.
Click to expand...
I thought it was too. I remember laughing at the blender comment the other day, but I can't recall who posted it or where. :kicksrock: Damn dead brain cells.
Click to expand...
The thread seems to be gone now. :stealthmodeactive:

 
Hank Scorpio said:
Homer J Simpson said:
Nigel Tufnel said:
Hank Scorpio said:
Nigel Tufnel said:
Hank Scorpio said:
Pedobear in Spore!

Paging Homer J.

On a totally unrealted note, did you know that you could get a day's vacation by suggesting that someone perform a sexual act with a blender?
Click to expand...
Stuart? :lmao:
Click to expand...
I know it will be less funny when you explain it but :confused: ?Pic
Click to expand...
Oh, I thought maybe you were Disco Stu.
Click to expand...
I thought it was too. I remember laughing at the blender comment the other day, but I can't recall who posted it or where. :kicksrock: Damn dead brain cells.
Click to expand...
The thread seems to be gone now. :stealthmodeactive:
Click to expand...
Ahhhh, hello my northern friend. :bye:
 
Running with scissors said:
Kal El said:
Running with scissors said:
Kal El said:
Running with scissors said:
Help on the innernets.
Click to expand...
What is "The definition of an oxymoron," Alex?
Click to expand...
I give up, Liberty University education? :unsure:
Click to expand...
I was pointing out the fact that help in the internet is rarely truly found, at least when it comes to some message boards.
Click to expand...
:unsure:
Click to expand...
The way I worded it was supposed to be like the answers on Jeopardy. My funny meter needs some calibration.
 
Frank Fontaine said:


MasterofOrion said:
In most of the United States, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop to single digits or below.About 3 a.m. one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon #658 responded to a call there was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Great Falls, Montana. He located the car, stuck in deep snow, and with the engine still running. Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the trooper walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him.The driver came awake when the trooper tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror and the state trooper standing next to his car, the man panicked. He jerked the gearshift into ''drive'' and hit the gas. The car's speedometer was showing 20, 30, 40, and then 50 mph, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning.Trooper Nixon, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding (but stationary) car.The driver was totally freaked, thinking the trooper was actually keeping up with him. This goes on for about 30 seconds, then the trooper yelled, "Pull over!"The man nodded, turned his wheel, and stopped the engine.Needless to say, the man from North Dakota was arrested, and is probably still shaking his head over the State Trooper in Montana who could run 50 miles per hour.Who says troopers don't have a sense of humor?
Click to expand...
What is this? I thought i was going to be a joke, but there was no punchline.Speedometers don't show MPH unless they're actually traveling at that speed.
Click to expand...
Incorrect. Speedometers show how fast the wheel that is connected to the power source is spinning. It doesn't matter if it's on pavement, in snow, or out in space somewhere.
 
Kal El said:
Frank Fontaine said:


MasterofOrion said:
In most of the United States, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop to single digits or below.About 3 a.m. one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon #658 responded to a call there was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Great Falls, Montana. He located the car, stuck in deep snow, and with the engine still running. Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the trooper walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him.The driver came awake when the trooper tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror and the state trooper standing next to his car, the man panicked. He jerked the gearshift into ''drive'' and hit the gas. The car's speedometer was showing 20, 30, 40, and then 50 mph, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning.Trooper Nixon, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding (but stationary) car.The driver was totally freaked, thinking the trooper was actually keeping up with him. This goes on for about 30 seconds, then the trooper yelled, "Pull over!"The man nodded, turned his wheel, and stopped the engine.Needless to say, the man from North Dakota was arrested, and is probably still shaking his head over the State Trooper in Montana who could run 50 miles per hour.Who says troopers don't have a sense of humor?
Click to expand...
What is this? I thought i was going to be a joke, but there was no punchline.Speedometers don't show MPH unless they're actually traveling at that speed.
Click to expand...
Incorrect. Speedometers show how fast the wheel that is connected to the power source is spinning. It doesn't matter if it's on pavement, in snow, or out in space somewhere.
Click to expand...
oo0L
 
St. Louis Bob said:
Kal El said:
Frank Fontaine said:


MasterofOrion said:
In most of the United States, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop to single digits or below.About 3 a.m. one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon #658 responded to a call there was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Great Falls, Montana. He located the car, stuck in deep snow, and with the engine still running. Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the trooper walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him.The driver came awake when the trooper tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror and the state trooper standing next to his car, the man panicked. He jerked the gearshift into ''drive'' and hit the gas. The car's speedometer was showing 20, 30, 40, and then 50 mph, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning.Trooper Nixon, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding (but stationary) car.The driver was totally freaked, thinking the trooper was actually keeping up with him. This goes on for about 30 seconds, then the trooper yelled, "Pull over!"The man nodded, turned his wheel, and stopped the engine.Needless to say, the man from North Dakota was arrested, and is probably still shaking his head over the State Trooper in Montana who could run 50 miles per hour.Who says troopers don't have a sense of humor?
Click to expand...
What is this? I thought i was going to be a joke, but there was no punchline.Speedometers don't show MPH unless they're actually traveling at that speed.
Click to expand...
Incorrect. Speedometers show how fast the wheel that is connected to the power source is spinning. It doesn't matter if it's on pavement, in snow, or out in space somewhere.
Click to expand...
oo0L
Click to expand...
What? He's correct.
 
Homer J Simpson said:
St. Louis Bob said:
Kal El said:
Frank Fontaine said:


MasterofOrion said:
In most of the United States, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop to single digits or below.About 3 a.m. one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon #658 responded to a call there was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Great Falls, Montana. He located the car, stuck in deep snow, and with the engine still running. Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the trooper walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him.The driver came awake when the trooper tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror and the state trooper standing next to his car, the man panicked. He jerked the gearshift into ''drive'' and hit the gas. The car's speedometer was showing 20, 30, 40, and then 50 mph, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning.Trooper Nixon, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding (but stationary) car.The driver was totally freaked, thinking the trooper was actually keeping up with him. This goes on for about 30 seconds, then the trooper yelled, "Pull over!"The man nodded, turned his wheel, and stopped the engine.Needless to say, the man from North Dakota was arrested, and is probably still shaking his head over the State Trooper in Montana who could run 50 miles per hour.Who says troopers don't have a sense of humor?
Click to expand...
What is this? I thought i was going to be a joke, but there was no punchline.Speedometers don't show MPH unless they're actually traveling at that speed.
Click to expand...
Incorrect. Speedometers show how fast the wheel that is connected to the power source is spinning. It doesn't matter if it's on pavement, in snow, or out in space somewhere.
Click to expand...
oo0L
Click to expand...
What? He's correct.
Click to expand...
Well, except for the 3rd one, but we can give him the hyperbole button in this case.
 
Running with scissors said:
Homer J Simpson said:
St. Louis Bob said:
Kal El said:
Frank Fontaine said:


MasterofOrion said:
In most of the United States, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop to single digits or below.About 3 a.m. one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon #658 responded to a call there was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Great Falls, Montana. He located the car, stuck in deep snow, and with the engine still running. Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the trooper walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him.The driver came awake when the trooper tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror and the state trooper standing next to his car, the man panicked. He jerked the gearshift into ''drive'' and hit the gas. The car's speedometer was showing 20, 30, 40, and then 50 mph, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning.Trooper Nixon, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding (but stationary) car.The driver was totally freaked, thinking the trooper was actually keeping up with him. This goes on for about 30 seconds, then the trooper yelled, "Pull over!"The man nodded, turned his wheel, and stopped the engine.Needless to say, the man from North Dakota was arrested, and is probably still shaking his head over the State Trooper in Montana who could run 50 miles per hour.Who says troopers don't have a sense of humor?
Click to expand...
What is this? I thought i was going to be a joke, but there was no punchline.Speedometers don't show MPH unless they're actually traveling at that speed.
Click to expand...
Incorrect. Speedometers show how fast the wheel that is connected to the power source is spinning. It doesn't matter if it's on pavement, in snow, or out in space somewhere.
Click to expand...
oo0L
Click to expand...
What? He's correct.
Click to expand...
Well, except for the 3rd one, but we can give him the hyperbole button in this case.
Click to expand...
OK, the zero g thing might be an interesting experiment...set it up. :unsure:
 
Homer J Simpson said:
Running with scissors said:
Homer J Simpson said:
St. Louis Bob said:
Kal El said:
Frank Fontaine said:


MasterofOrion said:
In most of the United States, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop to single digits or below.About 3 a.m. one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon #658 responded to a call there was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Great Falls, Montana. He located the car, stuck in deep snow, and with the engine still running. Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the trooper walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him.The driver came awake when the trooper tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror and the state trooper standing next to his car, the man panicked. He jerked the gearshift into ''drive'' and hit the gas. The car's speedometer was showing 20, 30, 40, and then 50 mph, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning.Trooper Nixon, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding (but stationary) car.The driver was totally freaked, thinking the trooper was actually keeping up with him. This goes on for about 30 seconds, then the trooper yelled, "Pull over!"The man nodded, turned his wheel, and stopped the engine.Needless to say, the man from North Dakota was arrested, and is probably still shaking his head over the State Trooper in Montana who could run 50 miles per hour.Who says troopers don't have a sense of humor?
Click to expand...
What is this? I thought i was going to be a joke, but there was no punchline.Speedometers don't show MPH unless they're actually traveling at that speed.
Click to expand...
Incorrect. Speedometers show how fast the wheel that is connected to the power source is spinning. It doesn't matter if it's on pavement, in snow, or out in space somewhere.
Click to expand...
oo0L
Click to expand...
What? He's correct.
Click to expand...
Well, except for the 3rd one, but we can give him the hyperbole button in this case.
Click to expand...
OK, the zero g thing might be an interesting experiment...set it up. :shrug:
Click to expand...
Paging the Vomit Comet...
 
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