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"The Bachelor" on ABC (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter azgroover
- Start date
Nigel Tufnel
Footballguy
Bob Loblaw
Footballguy
You're trying way too hard. You can't possibly find her that unattractive.
Gr00vus
Footballguy
On the contrary, she's quite fetching in several ways. But she's got some undeniable physical flaws as well that likely will get severely worse once she's landed her guy. Combine that with what we've seen of her personality/intellect/background and making long term plans with her seems an obvious recipe for unhappiness. Fantasy suite
marriage 
.
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
Ashley
I have to give her credit because she's sort of grown on me over time. The show's producers tried their best to make her look insane in early episodes, but I don't think that's a very fair portrayal, and it never really stuck. Ashley's pretty normal for the most part, and only looks odd compared to the other women because she seems to have some thoughts about being independent and starting a career. I wouldn't say she's exactly brilliant, but compared to Chantal and Emily, she's chairing a quantum gravity session at the APS annual meeting. It's during this episode that we realize how much Ashley is invested in this dude and how much Brad actually likes her. Now, don't get me wrong here.. Brad's been planning on an Emily/Chantal finale for a long time, but Ashley represents personality traits that he admires, but perhaps doesn't even like all that much. Seeing Brad interact with her family was uncomfortable TV; I don't think we've heard the man laugh once, yet her family was having a full-on giggle party. Brad also looked at Maine as as foreign country compared to Texas. Seattle and Charlotte were no problem, but Maine? Might as well be Canada. Those communists put gravy on fries.
I feel a little bad about Ashley after this episode. She was the sacrificial lamb ever since Shawntel left. Brad did his best to convince us that he and Ashley had this oh-so special bond, but over and over we kept hearing about how great that first date was with no indication that anything improved since then. It doesn't take a Bachelor expert to piece this one together. Ashley probably survived to this point by not having any obvious problems among the group and standing out as being relatively normal. This makes for pretty boring TV, and I'm straining to capture anything very interesting here.
The most segment by far was their discussion about where to live. Now, keep in mind that Brad is all about Brad. You don't tell Brad that Brad can't live in Texas. You tell Brad you'll move to Texas. That's how Brad rolls, y'all. So it must have been a shock to have this exchange:
Man that was some high comedy there. Great punchline too with that southern Maine bit. "Ya." Ouch.Later, we get this gem:
Listen, Ash, Brad can't base his life on a carnival date. It was a decent-ish run.
I have to give her credit because she's sort of grown on me over time. The show's producers tried their best to make her look insane in early episodes, but I don't think that's a very fair portrayal, and it never really stuck. Ashley's pretty normal for the most part, and only looks odd compared to the other women because she seems to have some thoughts about being independent and starting a career. I wouldn't say she's exactly brilliant, but compared to Chantal and Emily, she's chairing a quantum gravity session at the APS annual meeting. It's during this episode that we realize how much Ashley is invested in this dude and how much Brad actually likes her. Now, don't get me wrong here.. Brad's been planning on an Emily/Chantal finale for a long time, but Ashley represents personality traits that he admires, but perhaps doesn't even like all that much. Seeing Brad interact with her family was uncomfortable TV; I don't think we've heard the man laugh once, yet her family was having a full-on giggle party. Brad also looked at Maine as as foreign country compared to Texas. Seattle and Charlotte were no problem, but Maine? Might as well be Canada. Those communists put gravy on fries.
I feel a little bad about Ashley after this episode. She was the sacrificial lamb ever since Shawntel left. Brad did his best to convince us that he and Ashley had this oh-so special bond, but over and over we kept hearing about how great that first date was with no indication that anything improved since then. It doesn't take a Bachelor expert to piece this one together. Ashley probably survived to this point by not having any obvious problems among the group and standing out as being relatively normal. This makes for pretty boring TV, and I'm straining to capture anything very interesting here.
The most
segment by far was their discussion about where to live. Now, keep in mind that Brad is all about Brad. You don't tell Brad that Brad can't live in Texas. You tell Brad you'll move to Texas. That's how Brad rolls, y'all. So it must have been a shock to have this exchange:Whoa, what is this, an interview?
Brad's thinking, "Yes! Austin! Finally."
Man that was some high comedy there. Great punchline too with that southern Maine bit. "Ya." Ouch.Later, we get this gem:Then they have a talk about how they are 12 years apart in age and he's essentially disappointed that she isn't going to drop everything to move to Austin to run a bar. Now, here we have one of the obvious flaws in the show from a practical standpoint. Brad is 38, and these girls are mostly in their mid-20s. Setting aside the fact that they are going to be very different people given that age gap, any woman with an ounce of individualism and drive is going to find this an impossible task to just drop everything to be with some jackass who didn't pick anyone last time through this thing. The disappointment on Brad's face is like watching a dad feel shame about his lesbian daughter. It's just awful to watch someone react so viscerally to this woman's ambition. My favorite part had to be his look when she mentioned going to dental conferences. She might as well have been speaking Afrikaans at that point the way he tuned out.
Yes, I think these two are on the same page.Of course later, this conversation manifests into a schism where they can't feel comfortable around one another. Gee, I wonder why, Brad. You basically told Ashley to give up having plans in life. Nice work there. Bless her heart, Ashley gives it another go trying to convince Brad that she wants to be "Superwoman" and that it's okay to compromise. The guy wasn't having any of that. Austin or nothing, babe. YOU DIDN'T MENTION AUSTIN. NOT ONE TIME. God, what a drama queen this guy is. She's like "dude, can't I just graduate?" In the immortal words of John Boehner: "no compromise."
Listen, Ash, Brad can't base his life on a carnival date. It was a decent-ish run.
Yes, they do.Number out of a million that Ashley is (according to Brad): 1
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Thread Killer
Footballguy
Good God.
desert rose
Footballguy
Did you see the outtakes of Chantal sampling worms? Is there anything that girl won't eat?I'll kill you both!Awesome
Thread Killer
Footballguy
Yeah, that was quite the testicle kick to Team Chantal.Did you see the outtakes of Chantal sampling worms? Is there anything that girl won't eat?I'll kill you both!
desert rose
Footballguy
On the other hand, there isn't anything she won't put in her mouth. Winning!Yeah, that was quite the testicle kick to Team Chantal.Did you see the outtakes of Chantal sampling worms? Is there anything that girl won't eat?I'll kill you both!
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
Emily
Dear, sweet Emily. Please, if you happen to read this, know that it's just the business I'm in. Being expert has its perks (I get comps and recognized a lot lately), but I know there's collateral damage too. I really do. Just know that I didn't mean to hurt you, baby.
With that out of the way..
Emily is a really special case. Despite all of the serious business red flags and tangible reasons not to keep her around, she's still here. By any objective measure she should have been let go a loooong time ago, but how can you turn off a rainbow, much less a double rainbow? You can't. You're just entranced by the ephemeral beauty. She's like human sherbet: overly sweet, no nutritional value whatsoever, and I want to keep eating until I have a raging headache.
Throughout this epic special journey, Brad has never been able to solve Emily. Last time we left our hero with her, he struck out looking at an eephus pitch. What's interesting here is that Brad dismissed Ashley over her wanting to finish dental school, but he seems to be completely on board with Emily having an overly sheltered daughter and unresolved issues with her fiancee's death. If there were a way to quantify this difference, it would rate Emily as a solid 12 and Ashley as a tenuous 4.5 on the offdee scale. Keep in mind that the scale is logarithmic. You heard me.
It seems safe to assume that Brad is making a serious effort with Emily because of all of the positive references toward her daughter. Look man, we all saw that date. It was a minor disaster. To think that all of these problems just evaporated after one day with her is just flat dumb. He even had performance issues over it. So if this time in South Africa is all about getting down to brass tacks, we should expect some serious questions about how Emily is going to integrate her life with Brad. You're all moving to Austin, right? Yeah, that didn't happen. The gnome gets grilled over going to dental school, but Li'l Miss Sunshine here doesn't have to lift a finger. As a male, I revile and applaud this decision.
At dinner, Brad busts out his best Hanes blue v-neck to show how serious he is about this. The fantasy suite card comes out and the same block of text that was probably written in 2002 is read for the 493rd time, but this time we can see Chris Harrison's awful penmanship. Emily is saving her big revelation that she's "falling" for Brad until after they get to the fantasy suite. Before they can get to that point, she has to put on this chaste front and pretend like single moms don't do it. "Keep things going at the same pace we have." There will be no sex in the champagne room.. at least on the record.
Back at the Batcave, Brad is expecting Emily to be cold and shoot him down, but she stuns him by dropping the L-bomb. That slow-playing temptress.. WTF? If she were a poker player, Phil Hellmuth would berate her for being an idiot who doesn't know how to play. The guy's reaction was the best of the night. It's like he suddenly got hit with a bout of psoriasis. This woman has been bullying him around the entire series, and this was just another example. She makes it to the finale, but it's the classic battle of irresistible hotness versus immovable baggage. There's no paradox here: the baggage always wins.
Number out of a million that Emily is (according to Brad): 1
Dear, sweet Emily. Please, if you happen to read this, know that it's just the business I'm in. Being expert has its perks (I get comps and recognized a lot lately), but I know there's collateral damage too. I really do. Just know that I didn't mean to hurt you, baby.
With that out of the way..
Emily is a really special case. Despite all of the serious business red flags and tangible reasons not to keep her around, she's still here. By any objective measure she should have been let go a loooong time ago, but how can you turn off a rainbow, much less a double rainbow? You can't. You're just entranced by the ephemeral beauty. She's like human sherbet: overly sweet, no nutritional value whatsoever, and I want to keep eating until I have a raging headache.
Throughout this epic special journey, Brad has never been able to solve Emily. Last time we left our hero with her, he struck out looking at an eephus pitch. What's interesting here is that Brad dismissed Ashley over her wanting to finish dental school, but he seems to be completely on board with Emily having an overly sheltered daughter and unresolved issues with her fiancee's death. If there were a way to quantify this difference, it would rate Emily as a solid 12 and Ashley as a tenuous 4.5 on the offdee scale. Keep in mind that the scale is logarithmic. You heard me.
It seems safe to assume that Brad is making a serious effort with Emily because of all of the positive references toward her daughter. Look man, we all saw that date. It was a minor disaster. To think that all of these problems just evaporated after one day with her is just flat dumb. He even had performance issues over it.
So if this time in South Africa is all about getting down to brass tacks, we should expect some serious questions about how Emily is going to integrate her life with Brad. You're all moving to Austin, right? Yeah, that didn't happen. The gnome gets grilled over going to dental school, but Li'l Miss Sunshine here doesn't have to lift a finger. As a male, I revile and applaud this decision.At dinner, Brad busts out his best Hanes blue v-neck to show how serious he is about this. The fantasy suite card comes out and the same block of text that was probably written in 2002 is read for the 493rd time, but this time we can see Chris Harrison's awful penmanship. Emily is saving her big revelation that she's "falling" for Brad until after they get to the fantasy suite. Before they can get to that point, she has to put on this chaste front and pretend like single moms don't do it. "Keep things going at the same pace we have." There will be no sex in the champagne room.. at least on the record.
Back at the Batcave, Brad is expecting Emily to be cold and shoot him down, but she stuns him by dropping the L-bomb. That slow-playing temptress.. WTF? If she were a poker player, Phil Hellmuth would berate her for being an idiot who doesn't know how to play. The guy's reaction was the best of the night. It's like he suddenly got hit with a bout of psoriasis. This woman has been bullying him around the entire series, and this was just another example. She makes it to the finale, but it's the classic battle of irresistible hotness versus immovable baggage. There's no paradox here: the baggage always wins.
Number out of a million that Emily is (according to Brad): 1
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pantherclub
Footballguy
Mr Pickles you are truly the man.
My only request would be what you think of the sexual fortitude of each girl. For instance I think Chantel would be lights out anything goes in the sack. Pretty much ditto with Ashley but with Emily I get the sense that she makes you cut out the lights before she gets in bed and then the covers stay on and its only missionary. Hot girls never seem to be down right freaks like big girls or small ones.
My only request would be what you think of the sexual fortitude of each girl. For instance I think Chantel would be lights out anything goes in the sack. Pretty much ditto with Ashley but with Emily I get the sense that she makes you cut out the lights before she gets in bed and then the covers stay on and its only missionary. Hot girls never seem to be down right freaks like big girls or small ones.
YSR
Footballguy
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honky kong
Footballguy
I have a hard time seeing, based on what has been shown, how anyone can think it will be anyone but Emily. Chantal talks for the umpteenth time about how she's falling in love with him more and more every day and he starts playing with his hands, not really saying much. Emily says one time about how she's just starting to fall in love with him and he soils his pants and starts tripping over himself to let her know that he feels the same way - "There's no way I could let you say that and not say it back", or something to that effect. There was also the mono-toned "You've just made me feel so great by saying that" or something along those lines. And it's been that way for at least the last 6 episodes. She's just on a different level in his mind. The only dealbreakers I could see are her not agreeing to move or him being so intimidated by her that he wusses out. Thus, Chantel wins by default - and make no mistake, it would be by default.But Pickles said a while back that he knows who wins, so that would explain his certainty in Chantel given the lack of evidence up to this point. So WTF do I know? :(
Zow
Footballguy
I agree with the expert. Brad is clearly into someone with very little independence yet with some issues. Both Chantal and Emily do fit that mold. So, tweaking that more narrowly we're left with the question of which one can move with zero complications? That's easily Chantal - so long as she can bring her cats. With Emily, she'll always have the Hendrick family looking over her shoulder. She's also clearly not over the death of the guy she dated at 18. 18!!!! Brad has kept her around hoping she'd change but clearly she didn't. Yeah she's gorgeous but if she didn't put out in the fantasy suite the dude's going to be understandably frustrated. After all, Emily can't have all this baggage and prudeness and expect it to go far when you have a chick who fits Brad's ideal: a free-spirited, emotional chick who has no individual ambitions and who is used to living off a rich older dude (father). With Chantal Brad can whisk her to Austin and know she'll be totally content living in Brad's presumably nice house and can use her free time and social drive to work out all day and keep herself on that wonderful one-step before obesity that is so hot edge. Yeah, she'll probably cry randomly and be a bit needy but I don't think that phases this dude and the sexual capability she appears to have should offset that. If she impressed him at all in the fantasy suite, and I have a feeling she did, despite his wishes Emily was the better choice she's by far the riskier option and given that he is a 38 year old dude who presumably shies away from any sort of relationship drama/baggage Chantal is the no-brainer.
honky kong
Footballguy
He said more than once this season that the emotional rollercoaster she was on has annoyed him, to the point that he almost sent her home.
Stinkin Ref
IBL Representative
we need more groceries..... 
in the end I think Biscuit is the winner.....no matter how much he really wants it to be Emily, I think he realizes he will never be able to replace the ghost......he even said something along those lines a few episodes ago when he said something like.."thats a tough place for any man to fill".....but I do find it interesting that they have not really addressed that subject any more even though it is like a huge elephant sitting in the corner of the room....or Chantal sitting in the corner of the room.....
in the end I think Biscuit is the winner.....no matter how much he really wants it to be Emily, I think he realizes he will never be able to replace the ghost......he even said something along those lines a few episodes ago when he said something like.."thats a tough place for any man to fill".....but I do find it interesting that they have not really addressed that subject any more even though it is like a huge elephant sitting in the corner of the room....or Chantal sitting in the corner of the room.....
pantherclub
Footballguy
I dont know anything about the spoilers but in my mind there is no way in hades he picks Emily just from the kid factor. Its brutally painful to watch him try and navigate around that topic. Lets face it, no matter how hot the girl is (and Emily is smoking) having a little crumb snatcher is more than likely a deal breaker. Why put up with that hassle?
Third
Footballguy
And full disclosure, I accidentally hit the spoiler page yesterday and saw the name of the winner, at least according to realitysteve.So I'm staying quiet on this discussion.
honky kong
Footballguy
If having the kid is a dealbreaker, why has the deal not been broken yet?
Slider6
Footballguy
Because she is hot and he wanted to bang?
Zow
Footballguy
I don't think it's the fact she has a kid which is a dealbreaker, I think it's the issues surrounding the kid. He either didn't see those initially because she is so hot or he has hoped to "solve" them or change her prior to the end because she is so hot so he has hung on to her.
honky kong
Footballguy
I kinda missed the obvious there, huh?
General Malaise
Footballguy
Wow. I had missed this episode, but now don't need to see it. I don't know why Pickles is wasting his talents and time with this...'scientist' bit.Incredible.
General Malaise
Footballguy
'Mr. Pickles said:
When I first moved to the Pac NW, I thought it was a land devoid of accents altogether. But the longer I'm here and the more 'natives' I meet, I'm beginning to think that there IS a bit of an accent and you nailed it above. Remember the voice of Tenley from Oregon? Lotta that up here. Hell, my ex-wife sounded like a cartoon character at times.
Thread Killer
Footballguy
I just hope she's not a blimp by then.
Rohn Jambo
Footballguy
I just finished watching the last episode. In the picnic scene, the sight of 2 inches of muffin top squeezing out of Chantal's waistband completely ruined the South African Safari experience for me. This hippo must be gaining several pounds each week.I just hope she's not a blimp by then.
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
How psyched are we for "The Women Tell All?"
Incogneto
Footballguy
What's to tell? been a pretty boring season. Only drama was Michelle and her alligator tears/craziness.How psyched are we for "The Women Tell All?"
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
"All."What's to tell?How psyched are we for "The Women Tell All?"
Otis
Footballguy
Wait, does this mean we don't get a real episode tonight?How psyched are we for "The Women Tell All?"
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
There is now word that, what was once thought to be spoiled, may not be.
I hope you didn't bet too much, Woz.
I hope you didn't bet too much, Woz.
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
You'll get the women talking about their own amazing journeys with Brad. So, no.Wait, does this mean we don't get a real episode tonight?How psyched are we for "The Women Tell All?"
Third
Footballguy
I was wondering when you would stumble on this. :gamechanger:There is now word that, what was once thought to be spoiled, may not be.
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
LOL @ "stumble upon."
Otis
Footballguy
Please keep the spoilings and/or unspoilings all out of the thread. Some of us are still following our hearts on this journey.There is now word that, what was once thought to be spoiled, may not be.
Third
Footballguy
My bad...I should have realized the sources are calling Pickles direct.
honky kong
Footballguy
It makes perfect sense. She had to refrain from the weekly meltdown or risk getting the boot, so she strapped on the feedbag as a substitute. I'm pretty sure when she's not filming she's decked out in flannel pajamas with a pint of Haagen Das.I just finished watching the last episode. In the picnic scene, the sight of 2 inches of muffin top squeezing out of Chantal's waistband completely ruined the South African Safari experience for me. This hippo must be gaining several pounds each week.
honky kong
Footballguy
Over/under on the number of times we hear "Brad is such a great guy" or some derivation thereof tonight?
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
No spoiling here, though some are really pushing their luck.Please keep the spoilings and/or unspoilings all out of the thread. Some of us are still following our hearts on this journey.There is now word that, what was once thought to be spoiled, may not be.
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
I would have reserved this adjective for Chantal.
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