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Woke in the middle of the night to find a stranger in my apt (1 Viewer)

drpill said:
PewterFan said:
Someone should PM Keerok and ask him to start a new Is this normal ? thread. Is it normal for someone to bring a flashlight when visiting friends?

I predict that 99.9% of the people here will vote no. The other .1% will be lying.

This is what happened:

He went into your place with the intention to steal something. You caught him in the act. He freaked out and answered all your questions honestly. You contacted him via Facebook informing him that he left his eyeglasses (which aren't cheap) and weed (not cheap either) there. Since he's probably poor he figured it'd be a good idea to pick those items up. I'm sure he liked the idea of getting his shoes back too.

Next time someone breaks in, shoot the perp. And if you miss don't contact him on facebook.
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A) I didn't contact him via facebook. I left a message on a dry erase board inside our condo building telling him or his friends to call me. He did, within an hour.B) Why would anyone who needs eyeglasses take them off while robbing someone's house and leave them on the floor?

Otherwise I agree; it's still a possibility he was trying to rip me off and just happened to suck at it. It just seems less likely to me than the possibility that he was high as a kite and wandered into my apartment by mistake.
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No way he was robbing you and I doubt he had a flashlight, lol.
 
Clifton said:
I too had an incoherent mumbler at my house a while back. I was pulling into my driveway from my alley and saw a guy run into my yard. I confronted him while he was standing there in the shadows (it was 11:30) and he was like "Uh uh I was just uh....". I asked him again what the #### was he doing in my driveway and he muttered something else incoherent. I pulled into my driveway and he quickly walked away. I grabbed a hammer and took off after him. He got a few street away and disappeared into the shadows again. I called the cops and the got him. He had a hunting knife and a can of mace on him. He also had priors for sex crimes and burglary. Nice guy to have in your back yard at close to midnight when you live with a 22 year old blond.
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:thumbup:
 
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drpill said:
St. Louis Bob said:
RudiStein said:
I'm a pretty moderate guy but I think that's when you just drive the guy out to some field or quarry and shoot him like a rabid dog.
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Quarrys are a great place to get rid of a body.
drpill said:
AhrnCityPahnder said:
tell us about the cop visit.
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They never came. I called back and told them not to bother. They told me when I called that they might not come until tomorrow or even sometime during the week.
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WTF do you live in Mayberry?
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Cops here in what I call the Baltimore of the North have real emergencies to deal with. As Canadian cities go, there's a lot of crazy gun violence in this town; drive by shootings almost every weekend all summer long. I imagine my case -- no emergency, nothing stolen, etc. would be pretty low priority.
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I've heard people refer to Winnipeg as Murderpeg. I dont get it.
 
The Big Guy said:
So who has friend requested him?
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So I thought the Facebook friend request idea was so brilliant that I decided to do it. I sent the home intruder, Schellenberg, the link to this thread to. I woke up this morning and saw that I had two messages from him. These are honest to God, 100% true responses from the home intruder:Response 1: Mike Schellenberg September 27 at 6:40pm

Hey. I just saw this. I hadn't been on the computer since the event.

Obviously I wasn't robbing anything, I live across the hall from him. Not to mention that I think theft is a despicable act. I definitely didn't have a flashlight, and I assume that I was using my cell-phone as a light, because I was too drunk to use a light switch, and I'm talking about a vegetative state of drunk.

I'm thinking of posting a response on the forum, but I'm really not sure what to say. I eventually managed to piece together what had happened during the night and was horrified, mainly because I know he has a young kid so feel terrible for the fear that must have caused. I definitely don't blame the guy at all for freaking out, I'd feel better if he had beat the #### out of me.

However, I don't think I've ever had so many people saying I should be dead in the span of a day. I'm not sure what that says about the state of humanity, but I'm POSITIVE that nobody else on the forum has EVER done anything stupid while wasted.

Now I just need to figure out whether more damage has been done to my self esteem or my name.

It's just a comfort to know that so many people immediately expect the worse, and are looking for any excuse to draw blood.

Funny thing is if my pipe hadn't been to clogged to smoke out of, this probably wouldn't have happened. I never drink as much when I've smoked pot, and only alcohol can make somebody be so stupid as to walk into the wrong apartment.

Thanks for letting me know about this. I'm not sure how to react, but I am fairly used to being hated for mistaken intentions.

Response 2: Mike Schellenberg September 28 at 1:00am

At first I was concerned about the forum. But now that I'm high it seems really funny. Not the actual thing of course, but the net discussion.

I've never had people discussing my actions so intently. I guess it's sort of what a celebrity feels like reading a tabloid.

 
Yay for Canada. In Texas, good old Mike would be dead. We've all done stupid crap when we're drunk, and I've actually walked into the wrong apartment stone-cold sober once (wrong floor, in a hurry, door was unlocked). I realized it quickly but I'd hate to think I wouldn't be sitting here typing this if some yee-haw 2nd amendment fanatic decided to exercise his rights.

Now stoner Mike gets to go to college, graduate, and cure cancer or something. :thumbsup: for gun control.

Odd that this would happen the one day of the year in Winnipeg when it is above zero and you can have your balcony door open without freezing your ### off.

 
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Random said:
So he lives across the hall from you? Do you recognize him?
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Vaguely. He doesn't have the stache anymore, but I see a curly haired dude around once in a while -- not sure if it's Mike. I'm not very neighbourly I guess; I don't know anyone on my floor and have only introduced myself to a couple of other residents in my building.
 
drpill said:
I wake up fully and realize this guy needs to get out of my apartment, now. I tell him he needs to get the #### out before I call the police, escort him to the door, and shove him out.
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I take it you don't remember whether or not the door was unlocked at this point?
 
Jewell said:
because I was too drunk to use a light switch,
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I've been drunk many times. Really drunk. HTF are you too drunk to use a LIGHT SWITCH?!!Most babies learn this skill by 6 months. I'm leaning back toward you shooting him.
 
Disco Stu said:
drpill said:
I wake up fully and realize this guy needs to get out of my apartment, now. I tell him he needs to get the #### out before I call the police, escort him to the door, and shove him out.
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I take it you don't remember whether or not the door was unlocked at this point?
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I can't recall but I don't doubt it was unlocked. It wouldn't be the first time I forgot to lock it before going to bed.
 
Jewell said:
The Big Guy said:
So who has friend requested him?
Click to expand...
So I thought the Facebook friend request idea was so brilliant that I decided to do it. I sent the home intruder, Schellenberg, the link to this thread to. I woke up this morning and saw that I had two messages from him. These are honest to God, 100% true responses from the home intruder:Response 1: Mike Schellenberg September 27 at 6:40pm

Hey. I just saw this. I hadn't been on the computer since the event.

Obviously I wasn't robbing anything, I live across the hall from him. Not to mention that I think theft is a despicable act. I definitely didn't have a flashlight, and I assume that I was using my cell-phone as a light, because I was too drunk to use a light switch, and I'm talking about a vegetative state of drunk.

I'm thinking of posting a response on the forum, but I'm really not sure what to say. I eventually managed to piece together what had happened during the night and was horrified, mainly because I know he has a young kid so feel terrible for the fear that must have caused. I definitely don't blame the guy at all for freaking out, I'd feel better if he had beat the #### out of me.

However, I don't think I've ever had so many people saying I should be dead in the span of a day. I'm not sure what that says about the state of humanity, but I'm POSITIVE that nobody else on the forum has EVER done anything stupid while wasted.

Now I just need to figure out whether more damage has been done to my self esteem or my name.

It's just a comfort to know that so many people immediately expect the worse, and are looking for any excuse to draw blood.

Funny thing is if my pipe hadn't been to clogged to smoke out of, this probably wouldn't have happened. I never drink as much when I've smoked pot, and only alcohol can make somebody be so stupid as to walk into the wrong apartment.

Thanks for letting me know about this. I'm not sure how to react, but I am fairly used to being hated for mistaken intentions.

Response 2: Mike Schellenberg September 28 at 1:00am

At first I was concerned about the forum. But now that I'm high it seems really funny. Not the actual thing of course, but the net discussion.

I've never had people discussing my actions so intently. I guess it's sort of what a celebrity feels like reading a tabloid.
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You gotta get this dude to register here.
 
Mike Schellenberg.....I salute you.

Next time try 3 less shots, 2 less beers, and one more pre-game bowl. That should do the trick.

 
He sounds like the type of guy who wouldn't mind, but would probably have rather have smoked with WITH you though.

I'd say that's a small price to pay for you being cool and not calling the cops on him.

 
drpill said:
TheAristocrat said:
drpill said:
AhrnCityPahnder said:
Did you give him his weed back?
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Most of it. I been jonesin'.
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Why'd you give any of it back? Pretty sure you earned the right to keep the weed.
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Honestly, I'm feeling kinda bad for keeping any of it at this point. Guy had no intention of taking anything of mine, and I end up stealing from him? Pretty douchey. I'll have to have him over and pay him back.
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He owed you a little pot for the personal tour that he gave himself. You're a good guy for giving any of it back. Me? Well, I'm not as good of a guy so it would have been mine. Though, had he been as apologetic as he seems to be, we could have hung out over a bowl and laughed about it.Mike> Hi. This whole incident stems from you not being able to clean your pipe with any regularity? :mellow:
 
St. Louis Bob said:
Jewell said:
because I was too drunk to use a light switch,
Click to expand...
I've been drunk many times. Really drunk. HTF are you too drunk to use a LIGHT SWITCH?!!Most babies learn this skill by 6 months. I'm leaning back toward you shooting him.
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:lmao: I have to laugh at some of you who, while having time to think about it, tell us how you would rationally handle the situation. I know how my husband would react and I believe 99% of the guys here would do the same. At the very least I would think you guys would tackle him to the ground, probably get a few punches in, subdue him, THEN ask questions. IMO, it's a normal, instinctual way for a male to react when you realize that someone is in your home in the middle of the night. Natural instinct to protect. Nothing wrong with that.Pill, I'm glad it worked out well in the long run for you and your son.
 
crazy #### pill

now the neighbors know you are drpill

wait till the neighbor kids tell your kid

better start covering your tracks

 
shuke said:
This whole flashlight business still seems fishy to me.
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I've come to the conclusion I either imagined it in my sleepy delirium, or possibly he was using his cell phone for light as he guessed. I thought I saw some light as I left my room but when I was talking to him it was basically pitch black. In retrospect I'm sure a flashlight would have been a lot more noticeable.
 
Mrs. BSR said:
St. Louis Bob said:
Jewell said:
because I was too drunk to use a light switch,
Click to expand...
I've been drunk many times. Really drunk. HTF are you too drunk to use a LIGHT SWITCH?!!Most babies learn this skill by 6 months. I'm leaning back toward you shooting him.
Click to expand...
:goodposting: I have to laugh at some of you who, while having time to think about it, tell us how you would rationally handle the situation. I know how my husband would react and I believe 99% of the guys here would do the same. At the very least I would think you guys would tackle him to the ground, probably get a few punches in, subdue him, THEN ask questions. IMO, it's a normal, instinctual way for a male to react when you realize that someone is in your home in the middle of the night. Natural instinct to protect. Nothing wrong with that.Pill, I'm glad it worked out well in the long run for you and your son.
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I would have slit his throat with the switchblade I keep tucked in the band of my underwear while I sleep, stuffed him immediately in the oven, baked him, invited my mom and extended family over for dinner, and served the dude with haricots vert, applesauce and a nice Chardonnay.
 
Oh, then, after he was picked clean, I would have pulverized his bones into dust, taken them to HIS parent's house, and fed them into the A/C intake until everyone was sneezing.

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
Oh, then, after he was picked clean, I would have pulverized his bones into dust, taken them to HIS parent's house, and fed them into the A/C intake until everyone was sneezing.
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EG, I don't think the boy is reading the thread anymore, sooo yeah. lol
 
Buddy of mine was dropped off, after a long night of boozing, at home a few weeks ago. His key wouldn't work, so he kicked in the door and passed out on the couch.

Big problem, not his house

He woke up the next day 3 doors down from his home

 
Oh, hi Mike's friends. If you're reading this right now, you should know that your friend is no ordinary putz, who somehow got his name spread around the internet for drunkenly stumbling into a stranger's place, scaring his four year old, dropping off his drugs, shoes and glasses, and having the cops called on him. He's become something larger. I was at the store the other day, and I overheard one of the cashiers making fun of her roommate for "Shellenburging" after the party last night. I didn't stick around long enough to understand the context, but I know this - if teenage girls who have never been to this board are talking about it in another country, then your friend has gone viral. He's a step cooler than the chunky kid who sings that song you'd never heard before, and a step below the dancing wedding party. I'd say here's to you, Mike Schellenberg, for being a temporary internet sensation, but I'm afraid you'd start drinking again and terrorizing more toddlers.

 
Wrigley said:
Buddy of mine was dropped off, after a long night of boozing, at home a few weeks ago. His key wouldn't work, so he kicked in the door and passed out on the couch.Big problem, not his houseHe woke up the next day 3 doors down from his home
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Then started a crappy band, right?
 
Evilgrin 72 said:
Mrs. BSR said:
St. Louis Bob said:
Jewell said:
because I was too drunk to use a light switch,
Click to expand...
I've been drunk many times. Really drunk. HTF are you too drunk to use a LIGHT SWITCH?!!Most babies learn this skill by 6 months. I'm leaning back toward you shooting him.
Click to expand...
:goodposting: I have to laugh at some of you who, while having time to think about it, tell us how you would rationally handle the situation. I know how my husband would react and I believe 99% of the guys here would do the same. At the very least I would think you guys would tackle him to the ground, probably get a few punches in, subdue him, THEN ask questions. IMO, it's a normal, instinctual way for a male to react when you realize that someone is in your home in the middle of the night. Natural instinct to protect. Nothing wrong with that.Pill, I'm glad it worked out well in the long run for you and your son.
Click to expand...
I would have slit his throat with the switchblade I keep tucked in the band of my underwear while I sleep, stuffed him immediately in the oven, baked him, invited my mom and extended family over for dinner, and served the dude with haricots vert, applesauce and a nice Chardonnay.
Click to expand...
As a very (very) wise man once said, Do not #### with Evilgrin!! :lmao:
 
Cell phone = flashlight thing sounds reasonable. Money on you guys getting high together before the week is over.

"Hey man, you ever heard of the 13th Floor Elevators??"

 
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