Where to begin? I don't think a film has made me this angry since Jurassic Park III (nothing else was on).
1) You know how when you watch a horror or suspense movie, and the victim's do something really stupid, and it drives you crazy? Well, multiply that by a million, and you have my reaction watching this movie.
2) Okay. First off, let me say that I don't pretend to be the average FBG that can bench press 500 lbs. I'm not a big guy. I have lean muscle. Kinda like Brad Pitt in Fight Club, but nowhere near that cut. Anyway, if I was ever home invaded by two guys, and one looked like Mr. T and the other looked like Lou Ferrigno, I'd be helpless. There'd be nothing I could do. But if two 15-17 year olds came and home invaded me, bringing no weapon at all, that home invasion would last about 2 minutes.
3) If two 15-17 year olds show up and start acting strangely, one of my first questions would be "Why are you both wearing gloves?" Granted, the next victim couple asks one halfway through the movie, and the kid said he had ecsema, but still, nobody questioned that at the beginning in the Naomi Watts - Tim Roth household? Seriously?
4) In several threads I have discussed my love for my dog. Now, if my dog has been barking continuously at these kids, and one of those kids goes outside with a golf club, and suddenly my dog yelps in pain, I'm hauling ### to find out why. I'm not waiting 20 minutes once things get weird, and suddenly saying "Hey, where's the dog?" I would have taken care of that little problem real quick. </div>
<center>*** SPOILER ALERT! Click this link to display the potential spoiler text in this box. ***</center></div>");document.close();</script>
<script type="text/javascript">mytagid = Math.floor( Math.random() * 100 );document.write("<div style='padding:4px;border:1px solid black;background-color:#FFC9A5;layer-background-color:#FFC9A5;'><div id='"+mytagid+"_closed' style='display:none'>5) Here's part one of the problem I have with Tim Roth's reaction in the movie. Now, after my wife has gotten upset, and ordered these kids to leave (which they aren't doing), the leader kid leans in to Tim Roth and says "You better watch to make sure we don't break YOUR eggs, old man." Tim Roth responds by slapping the kid. My reaction would have been "Okay. Take a swing. Give me a reason." And then after the youth threw his little punch, it would have been over from there.
6) Part II: Okay. Granted. He took a driver to the knee. We don't see the wound, but it's bleeding through his pants. So, I'm figuring a shattered kneecap, or something. Yes. That's serious. That limits the mobility a little bit. But after that, he just gives up for the rest of the movie. No effort whatsoever. It would have taken 5 or 10 minutes for the shock and pain to ease a little bit, and then I'm attempting some sort of bum rush move to protect my family. I mean, Damn!!!! Just turn into a pile of jelly for the rest of the movie?
7) So, they have an electric gate out front. Looks 6 to 7 feet tall. The little kid gets away. Oh, he's not in any hurry or anything. But he goes to climb the gate. Gets to the top and...........................climbs back down. What? Was there an unseen pool of piranha down there that we don't see? How hard is it to swing your leg over? Oh my God I'm really starting to hate this movie at this point.
8) The kid leisurely goes over to the next house, which everyone should have figured out that they had already killed these people, since that's where they came from. But he just strolls around, trying to hide. Not really very hard, either.
9) They kill the kid, and supposedly leave. Naomi Watts gets free, and they're trying to figure out how to get help. They spend a good 10 minutes trying to fix her phone the one kid dropped in the water. She says "Where's your phone?" "It's in the car." Is there a wall of flame surrounding the car at this point? How difficult is it to go out to the car? I mean, your leg is busted, and the magic key to the front door has mysteriously vanished, but your wife went out the window. She can't check it out?</div>
<center>*** SPOILER ALERT! Click this link to display the potential spoiler text in this box. ***</center></div>");document.close();</script>
<script type="text/javascript">mytagid = Math.floor( Math.random() * 100 );document.write("<div style='padding:4px;border:1px solid black;background-color:#FFC9A5;layer-background-color:#FFC9A5;'><div id='"+mytagid+"_closed' style='display:none'>10) Now, on 99% of the doors that we have in our homes, there's a lock that you turn on the inside of the door, right? Maybe somewhere somebody has a door that you have to lock with a key. But, doesn't that mean that Tim Roth should have those keys? How, in the course of a couple of hours, did the kids get those keys, (in a scene we obviously don't see) and lock them inside, unable to open the door. And the same with the electric gate? Can't open it. Oh, these kids are geniuses.
11) So, Naomi Watts goes out onto a lit street. It's obvious that there are other houses there. But, she only goes to one. And then, they pick her up and bring her back.
12) In probably the worst scene that I have ever seen in a film, Naomi Watts grabs the gun and shoots one of the kids. The other kid says "Where's that remote?" and tears all the cushions off the couch. He presses back, like on a Tivo remote, and the whole movie goes back in reverse to the start of that scene. This time when Naomi Watts goes for the gun, the kid grabs it. Are you ####### kidding me? Horrible. I like trippy and clever #### in movies, but this was just ridiculous. Not to mention the constant look into the camera saying things like "What do you think? Think they'll live?" Why do I care?
13) After killing both the son and the husband, they take Naomi Watts out on the boat. She's all tied up, but can still move her body. We see a shot earlier in the movie (right when the dog gets whacked) of a knife that Tim Roth had sliding into the bottom of the boat, so we know it's there. So, of course, everyone figures she'll get the knife and kill them for the big happy Hollywood ending (which I detest, but I'm just saying that's what we're conditioned to expect. And I know that that's one of the filmmaker's intentions, but it still doesn't make this suckfest good.) Anywho, she grabs the knife and starts trying to cut her ropes. Very obviously. While they're looking at her. So, they grab the knife and throw it in the water. Then, they pick her up and sit her in between them. The leader has just said that the other can't swim. Once again I realize we're supposed to expect her to knock him in, but come on! How hard is that, really? Just a quick bump with your weight to your left, and the kid goes overboard. Nope. They continue they're conversation, and then knock her in the water, obviously killing her. We don't know that, as we never see her again, but that's supposed to be daring filmmaking, I guess.
Anyways, like I said, I can't remember a time that a movie has angered me so much that I just wasted the time that I spent to view it. Do yourself a favor. DON'T watch this movie.
Truth. Dr. Hawkins was awesome in this movie. You saying greatest scenes ever filmed, I looked to see if True Romance with Dennis Hopper, Christopher Walken, and Christian Slater was on, but unfortunately it's DVD only. The "Sicilians" scene is truly amazing, the dialogue between Hopper and Walken is just so well done it seems to get better every time I see it.
