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Patrick Bateman

Wife uses sex as a weapon

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Refuses sex all the time. It has become a major issue in our marriage. Our sex life is in the gutter. We've been married 16 years, and we have sex less than 10 times a year. What are my options here? I don't want a divorce.

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Doesn't seem like she's using it as a weapon since there's nothing you can do to get it.

Have sex with someone else. Your needs are met and she doesn't have to deal with it.

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What does she say when you talk to her about this?

Tired, I didn't take out the trash, Headache, etc. etc.
Take out the trash and have sex with her while she's sleeping.

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Refuses sex all the time. It has become a major issue in our marriage. Our sex life is in the gutter. We've been married 16 years, and we have sex less than 10 times a year. What are my options here? I don't want a divorce.

12:04 am on Friday.

FIRST!

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What does she say when you talk to her about this?

Tired, I didn't take out the trash, Headache, etc. etc.
Have you told her this is a major issue for you that could jeopardize the marriage?

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Doesn't seem like she's using it as a weapon since there's nothing you can do to get it.Have sex with someone else. Your needs are met and she doesn't have to deal with it.

Sadly, I feel like it has come to this. I don't get it, but many women in there 30's seem to lose their sex drive.

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What does she say when you talk to her about this?

Tired, I didn't take out the trash, Headache, etc. etc.
Have you told her this is a major issue for you that could jeopardize the marriage?
Oh yeah. Many discussions have taken place. She seems to think that a sex life is not a priority.

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Serious answer. Lose some weight, upgrade your wardrobe, wear a little cologne when you can and pay better attn to your hygiene. Start looking like you did when you were dating. Women are very territorial and she'll worry that someone else will start taking care of her man if they arent already. Oh and stop initiating sex. Act like it's the furthest thing from your mind. This will convince her that you are getting side action and is a major motivator.

I did this 18 months ago and it was worth all the effort.

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My wife does the same thing. It sucks. We have a 2 year old so I give her some slack but I'm tired of it. So my new strategy is subtly flirting with other women right in front of her just to give her a reminder that if she goes too long there are other willing candidates. It hasn't increased the frequency any but I have to find satisfaction where I can get it.

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Serious answer. Lose some weight, upgrade your wardrobe, wear a little cologne when you can and pay better attn to your hygiene. Start looking like you did when you were dating. Women are very territorial and she'll worry that someone else will start taking care of her man if they arent already. Oh and stop initiating sex. Act like it's the furthest thing from your mind. This will convince her that you are getting side action and is a major motivator.I did this 18 months ago and it was worth all the effort.

Good advice, but good lord is this what it takes? :kicksrock:

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Serious answer. Lose some weight, upgrade your wardrobe, wear a little cologne when you can and pay better attn to your hygiene. Start looking like you did when you were dating. Women are very territorial and she'll worry that someone else will start taking care of her man if they arent already. Oh and stop initiating sex. Act like it's the furthest thing from your mind. This will convince her that you are getting side action and is a major motivator.I did this 18 months ago and it was worth all the effort.

Good advice, but good lord is this what it takes? :kicksrock:
Yeah, why should you look good for your significant other?

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Man, that sucks. I've been married for 11 years now, and our sex life is great, with high quality sex 1-2 times per week. I know some guys likely get it more often, but with two kids under 5 and some stressful finances, I'm not complaining. I say that to let you know I think I've learned some things over the past decade....

The key here, IMO, is communication. You have to find out from her why she doesn't like sex with you. Every woman desires quality sex, but for women it is more than just the physical stimuli that makes sex enjoyable (or not). Usually it is many things outside the bedroom that lead to problems within it. For the woman, the many hours before you head to the bedroom are what determine what is going to happen. Did you fight during the day? Does she feel under appreciated or taken for granted? Is there some basic female need that she isn't getting met? Did you compliment her at all during the day?

Now having the conversation may be tough, but the really hard part is what you do afterwards. Can you actually change enough to improve on these issues? Are you able to give what she needs? Can you do the things she is saying you need to do? Hopefully the answer is yes and it may take some serious sacrifice on your part, but a marriage is a lot of compromise.

Once you try to address some of that, then you can let her know what it does to a man to have his advances constantly turned down. Few things knock a man down more than his wife telling him she's not interested in him physically time and time again. After about 4-5 times in a row, it becomes a serious problem in your mind. I've gone through some brief dry spells for a couple of weeks before and it becomes maddening. Can't fathom going a full month with no action. I'd honestly start to get very angry...but then again I do a hell of a lot to make sure she is happy. And that is the key, you trying to please her. I've found it is actually easier to please others than to please myself...especially in a marriage.

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Serious answer. Lose some weight, upgrade your wardrobe, wear a little cologne when you can and pay better attn to your hygiene. Start looking like you did when you were dating. Women are very territorial and she'll worry that someone else will start taking care of her man if they arent already. Oh and stop initiating sex. Act like it's the furthest thing from your mind. This will convince her that you are getting side action and is a major motivator.I did this 18 months ago and it was worth all the effort.

Good advice, but good lord is this what it takes? :kicksrock:
Yeah, it's actually a little difficult. The upside is your self esteem soars and people look at you differently. Good looking women start flirting with you that never did before and if things dont work out with your wife.....

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Serious answer. Lose some weight, upgrade your wardrobe, wear a little cologne when you can and pay better attn to your hygiene. Start looking like you did when you were dating. Women are very territorial and she'll worry that someone else will start taking care of her man if they arent already. Oh and stop initiating sex. Act like it's the furthest thing from your mind. This will convince her that you are getting side action and is a major motivator.

I did this 18 months ago and it was worth all the effort.

Good advice, but good lord is this what it takes? :kicksrock:

I agree 100% with the first part, but has the bolded worked for anyone.

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Serious answer. Lose some weight, upgrade your wardrobe, wear a little cologne when you can and pay better attn to your hygiene. Start looking like you did when you were dating. Women are very territorial and she'll worry that someone else will start taking care of her man if they arent already. Oh and stop initiating sex. Act like it's the furthest thing from your mind. This will convince her that you are getting side action and is a major motivator.I did this 18 months ago and it was worth all the effort.

Good advice, but good lord is this what it takes? :kicksrock:
Yeah, it's actually a little difficult. The upside is your self esteem soars and people look at you differently. Good looking women start flirting with you that never did before and if things dont work out with your wife.....
No offense, but your advice sucks.Good luck with covering that alimony, Fonzi.

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My brother is married and has 3 kids, he always says he's batting 3 for 4. And he's been telling me for 15 years not to get married. As have most of my divorced buddies. God forbid is it really THAT bad??? Marriage sounds godawful, gllll to ya man.

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Just start whacking away in bed at night... ala Lester Burnam. If this technique does not stir up a conversation, well, than, have fun.

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Man, that sucks. I've been married for 11 years now, and our sex life is great, with high quality sex 1-2 times per week. I know some guys likely get it more often, but with two kids under 5 and some stressful finances, I'm not complaining. I say that to let you know I think I've learned some things over the past decade....The key here, IMO, is communication. You have to find out from her why she doesn't like sex with you. Every woman desires quality sex, but for women it is more than just the physical stimuli that makes sex enjoyable (or not). Usually it is many things outside the bedroom that lead to problems within it. For the woman, the many hours before you head to the bedroom are what determine what is going to happen. Did you fight during the day? Does she feel under appreciated or taken for granted? Is there some basic female need that she isn't getting met? Did you compliment her at all during the day?Now having the conversation may be tough, but the really hard part is what you do afterwards. Can you actually change enough to improve on these issues? Are you able to give what she needs? Can you do the things she is saying you need to do? Hopefully the answer is yes and it may take some serious sacrifice on your part, but a marriage is a lot of compromise.Once you try to address some of that, then you can let her know what it does to a man to have his advances constantly turned down. Few things knock a man down more than his wife telling him she's not interested in him physically time and time again. After about 4-5 times in a row, it becomes a serious problem in your mind. I've gone through some brief dry spells for a couple of weeks before and it becomes maddening. Can't fathom going a full month with no action. I'd honestly start to get very angry...but then again I do a hell of a lot to make sure she is happy. And that is the key, you trying to please her. I've found it is actually easier to please others than to please myself...especially in a marriage.

Thanks jay. I know I have things to work on. The rejection is brutal. I know she doesn't see it that way, but I do. We've discussed it before several times. I'm starting to think that it's physical. Something maybe with her meds that are killing her libido. It never used to be like this though. I'm troubled.

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My brother is married and has 3 kids, he always says he's batting 3 for 4. And he's been telling me for 15 years not to get married. As have most of my divorced buddies. God forbid is it really THAT bad??? Marriage sounds godawful, gllll to ya man.

That depends on whether or not your are a man or a selfish little boy.Men love women the right way and care about their wife children more than themselves. Little boys whine about their me time playing video games, poker night with the boys and softball. If you aren't ready to grow up, then don't get married.Being married is for adults.

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Man, that sucks. I've been married for 11 years now, and our sex life is great, with high quality sex 1-2 times per week. I know some guys likely get it more often, but with two kids under 5 and some stressful finances, I'm not complaining. I say that to let you know I think I've learned some things over the past decade....The key here, IMO, is communication. You have to find out from her why she doesn't like sex with you. Every woman desires quality sex, but for women it is more than just the physical stimuli that makes sex enjoyable (or not). Usually it is many things outside the bedroom that lead to problems within it. For the woman, the many hours before you head to the bedroom are what determine what is going to happen. Did you fight during the day? Does she feel under appreciated or taken for granted? Is there some basic female need that she isn't getting met? Did you compliment her at all during the day?Now having the conversation may be tough, but the really hard part is what you do afterwards. Can you actually change enough to improve on these issues? Are you able to give what she needs? Can you do the things she is saying you need to do? Hopefully the answer is yes and it may take some serious sacrifice on your part, but a marriage is a lot of compromise.Once you try to address some of that, then you can let her know what it does to a man to have his advances constantly turned down. Few things knock a man down more than his wife telling him she's not interested in him physically time and time again. After about 4-5 times in a row, it becomes a serious problem in your mind. I've gone through some brief dry spells for a couple of weeks before and it becomes maddening. Can't fathom going a full month with no action. I'd honestly start to get very angry...but then again I do a hell of a lot to make sure she is happy. And that is the key, you trying to please her. I've found it is actually easier to please others than to please myself...especially in a marriage.

Thanks jay. I know I have things to work on. The rejection is brutal. I know she doesn't see it that way, but I do. We've discussed it before several times. I'm starting to think that it's physical. Something maybe with her meds that are killing her libido. It never used to be like this though. I'm troubled.
Early in our marriage, my wife was on an anti-depressant. It definitely killed her sex drive. She went from multiple orgasms every time to not even being able to have one sometimes. Once she got off, the party train was back on board.The meds could definitely be a factor. However, the not even making an attempt is a problem, IMO.

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Man, that sucks. I've been married for 11 years now, and our sex life is great, with high quality sex 1-2 times per week. I know some guys likely get it more often, but with two kids under 5 and some stressful finances, I'm not complaining. I say that to let you know I think I've learned some things over the past decade....The key here, IMO, is communication. You have to find out from her why she doesn't like sex with you. Every woman desires quality sex, but for women it is more than just the physical stimuli that makes sex enjoyable (or not). Usually it is many things outside the bedroom that lead to problems within it. For the woman, the many hours before you head to the bedroom are what determine what is going to happen. Did you fight during the day? Does she feel under appreciated or taken for granted? Is there some basic female need that she isn't getting met? Did you compliment her at all during the day?Now having the conversation may be tough, but the really hard part is what you do afterwards. Can you actually change enough to improve on these issues? Are you able to give what she needs? Can you do the things she is saying you need to do? Hopefully the answer is yes and it may take some serious sacrifice on your part, but a marriage is a lot of compromise.Once you try to address some of that, then you can let her know what it does to a man to have his advances constantly turned down. Few things knock a man down more than his wife telling him she's not interested in him physically time and time again. After about 4-5 times in a row, it becomes a serious problem in your mind. I've gone through some brief dry spells for a couple of weeks before and it becomes maddening. Can't fathom going a full month with no action. I'd honestly start to get very angry...but then again I do a hell of a lot to make sure she is happy. And that is the key, you trying to please her. I've found it is actually easier to please others than to please myself...especially in a marriage.

Thanks jay. I know I have things to work on. The rejection is brutal. I know she doesn't see it that way, but I do. We've discussed it before several times. I'm starting to think that it's physical. Something maybe with her meds that are killing her libido. It never used to be like this though. I'm troubled.
MEDS? Now we're getting somewhere. What kind?

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Doesn't seem like she's using it as a weapon since there's nothing you can do to get it.Have sex with someone else. Your needs are met and she doesn't have to deal with it.

Sadly, I feel like it has come to this. I don't get it, but many women in there 30's seem to lose their sex drive.
Actually most women's sex drives ramp up in their 30s.When's the last time you took her out on a date?

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I know I have things to work on. The rejection is brutal. I know she doesn't see it that way, but I do. We've discussed it before several times. I'm starting to think that it's physical. Something maybe with her meds that are killing her libido. It never used to be like this though. I'm troubled.

Does she still "bail out" and go soul searching?

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My brother is married and has 3 kids, he always says he's batting 3 for 4. And he's been telling me for 15 years not to get married. As have most of my divorced buddies. God forbid is it really THAT bad??? Marriage sounds godawful, gllll to ya man.

That depends on whether or not your are a man or a selfish little boy.Men love women the right way and care about their wife children more than themselves. Little boys whine about their me time playing video games, poker night with the boys and softball. If you aren't ready to grow up, then don't get married.Being married is for adults.
I hear ya and that's what's so troubling about my brother's situation, he's none of those things. But the SIL turned into a witch after the ceremony. Scares the hell outta me, seeing a great dude going through the same crap as Bateman.

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My brother is married and has 3 kids, he always says he's batting 3 for 4. And he's been telling me for 15 years not to get married. As have most of my divorced buddies. God forbid is it really THAT bad??? Marriage sounds godawful, gllll to ya man.

That depends on whether or not your are a man or a selfish little boy.Men love women the right way and care about their wife children more than themselves. Little boys whine about their me time playing video games, poker night with the boys and softball. If you aren't ready to grow up, then don't get married.Being married is for adults.
I hear ya and that's what's so troubling about my brother's situation, he's none of those things. But the SIL turned into a witch after the ceremony. Scares the hell outta me, seeing a great dude going through the same crap as Bateman.
I haven't run across too many women who weren't mature enough for marriage, but it does definitely happen. My "marriage is for adults" line applies to women as well.

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Man, that sucks. I've been married for 11 years now, and our sex life is great, with high quality sex 1-2 times per week. I know some guys likely get it more often, but with two kids under 5 and some stressful finances, I'm not complaining. I say that to let you know I think I've learned some things over the past decade....The key here, IMO, is communication. You have to find out from her why she doesn't like sex with you. Every woman desires quality sex, but for women it is more than just the physical stimuli that makes sex enjoyable (or not). Usually it is many things outside the bedroom that lead to problems within it. For the woman, the many hours before you head to the bedroom are what determine what is going to happen. Did you fight during the day? Does she feel under appreciated or taken for granted? Is there some basic female need that she isn't getting met? Did you compliment her at all during the day?Now having the conversation may be tough, but the really hard part is what you do afterwards. Can you actually change enough to improve on these issues? Are you able to give what she needs? Can you do the things she is saying you need to do? Hopefully the answer is yes and it may take some serious sacrifice on your part, but a marriage is a lot of compromise.Once you try to address some of that, then you can let her know what it does to a man to have his advances constantly turned down. Few things knock a man down more than his wife telling him she's not interested in him physically time and time again. After about 4-5 times in a row, it becomes a serious problem in your mind. I've gone through some brief dry spells for a couple of weeks before and it becomes maddening. Can't fathom going a full month with no action. I'd honestly start to get very angry...but then again I do a hell of a lot to make sure she is happy. And that is the key, you trying to please her. I've found it is actually easier to please others than to please myself...especially in a marriage.

Good advice. I'll go a little further and ask if her workload is too demanding. I don't know you or her but if she's falling into bed exhausted at night you have no shot. Ask yourself this: Has she ever come home to a clean house and nice dinner that you have arranged? In my house that's 90% guaranteed sexy time. Also for consideration. Hand her a hundred and insist she go to lunch with her girlfriends/ sisters. You know, like she has a nice life and is appreciated. Don't just say "hey, you could go anytime you want". Give her a 100 dollar bill and have her pay with it so she can tell her friends it was from you. Women like to brag like that.I learned long ago never to send flowers to a woman at home. Always to the office so she can show off to the other girls. I made a point to explain this to my son when he turned 18. Just wish my Dad would have had the courtesy of letting me in on this.

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Man, that sucks. I've been married for 11 years now, and our sex life is great, with high quality sex 1-2 times per week. I know some guys likely get it more often, but with two kids under 5 and some stressful finances, I'm not complaining. I say that to let you know I think I've learned some things over the past decade....The key here, IMO, is communication. You have to find out from her why she doesn't like sex with you. Every woman desires quality sex, but for women it is more than just the physical stimuli that makes sex enjoyable (or not). Usually it is many things outside the bedroom that lead to problems within it. For the woman, the many hours before you head to the bedroom are what determine what is going to happen. Did you fight during the day? Does she feel under appreciated or taken for granted? Is there some basic female need that she isn't getting met? Did you compliment her at all during the day?Now having the conversation may be tough, but the really hard part is what you do afterwards. Can you actually change enough to improve on these issues? Are you able to give what she needs? Can you do the things she is saying you need to do? Hopefully the answer is yes and it may take some serious sacrifice on your part, but a marriage is a lot of compromise.Once you try to address some of that, then you can let her know what it does to a man to have his advances constantly turned down. Few things knock a man down more than his wife telling him she's not interested in him physically time and time again. After about 4-5 times in a row, it becomes a serious problem in your mind. I've gone through some brief dry spells for a couple of weeks before and it becomes maddening. Can't fathom going a full month with no action. I'd honestly start to get very angry...but then again I do a hell of a lot to make sure she is happy. And that is the key, you trying to please her. I've found it is actually easier to please others than to please myself...especially in a marriage.

Thanks jay. I know I have things to work on. The rejection is brutal. I know she doesn't see it that way, but I do. We've discussed it before several times. I'm starting to think that it's physical. Something maybe with her meds that are killing her libido. It never used to be like this though. I'm troubled.
MEDS? Now we're getting somewhere. What kind?
She takes Paxil for anxiety issues. This has been going on far longer though. We used to have an amazing sex life. Several times a day, and week. The last 5 years, it has slowed to nothing. I've taken it personally, she insists that it's not me, but she has no desire for sex any longer. A man in his 30's needs sex. This can't go on.

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Oh....and I forgot to add my #1 secret is:

Step 1: cut a hole in a box

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Serious answer. Lose some weight, upgrade your wardrobe, wear a little cologne when you can and pay better attn to your hygiene. Start looking like you did when you were dating. Women are very territorial and she'll worry that someone else will start taking care of her man if they arent already. Oh and stop initiating sex. Act like it's the furthest thing from your mind. This will convince her that you are getting side action and is a major motivator.I did this 18 months ago and it was worth all the effort.

Good advice, but good lord is this what it takes? :kicksrock:
Yeah, it's actually a little difficult. The upside is your self esteem soars and people look at you differently. Good looking women start flirting with you that never did before and if things dont work out with your wife.....
No offense, but your advice sucks.Good luck with covering that alimony, Fonzi.
The last part was a joke. Lighten up Potsie

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Man, that sucks. I've been married for 11 years now, and our sex life is great, with high quality sex 1-2 times per week. I know some guys likely get it more often, but with two kids under 5 and some stressful finances, I'm not complaining. I say that to let you know I think I've learned some things over the past decade....The key here, IMO, is communication. You have to find out from her why she doesn't like sex with you. Every woman desires quality sex, but for women it is more than just the physical stimuli that makes sex enjoyable (or not). Usually it is many things outside the bedroom that lead to problems within it. For the woman, the many hours before you head to the bedroom are what determine what is going to happen. Did you fight during the day? Does she feel under appreciated or taken for granted? Is there some basic female need that she isn't getting met? Did you compliment her at all during the day?Now having the conversation may be tough, but the really hard part is what you do afterwards. Can you actually change enough to improve on these issues? Are you able to give what she needs? Can you do the things she is saying you need to do? Hopefully the answer is yes and it may take some serious sacrifice on your part, but a marriage is a lot of compromise.Once you try to address some of that, then you can let her know what it does to a man to have his advances constantly turned down. Few things knock a man down more than his wife telling him she's not interested in him physically time and time again. After about 4-5 times in a row, it becomes a serious problem in your mind. I've gone through some brief dry spells for a couple of weeks before and it becomes maddening. Can't fathom going a full month with no action. I'd honestly start to get very angry...but then again I do a hell of a lot to make sure she is happy. And that is the key, you trying to please her. I've found it is actually easier to please others than to please myself...especially in a marriage.

Thanks jay. I know I have things to work on. The rejection is brutal. I know she doesn't see it that way, but I do. We've discussed it before several times. I'm starting to think that it's physical. Something maybe with her meds that are killing her libido. It never used to be like this though. I'm troubled.
MEDS? Now we're getting somewhere. What kind?
She takes Paxil for anxiety issues. This has been going on far longer though. We used to have an amazing sex life. Several times a day, and week. The last 5 years, it has slowed to nothing. I've taken it personally, she insists that it's not me, but she has no desire for sex any longer. A man in his 30's needs sex. This can't go on.
You have gotta talk to a medical professional about other options. You know it's not good medicine for a woman in her 30's to have to live a sexless life either. And they know that. Has this been discussed?

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nomarriage.com

Back on planet Earth...it's not logical and most men are going to get hitched at least once. Marriage is not the problem, it's the modern definition of a marriage and usually the lack of traditional roles that men and women stray from.

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She takes Paxil for anxiety issues. This has been going on far longer though. We used to have an amazing sex life. Several times a day, and week. The last 5 years, it has slowed to nothing. I've taken it personally, she insists that it's not me, but she has no desire for sex any longer. A man in his 30's needs sex. This can't go on.

Patrick, you're a good guy, you add to the FFA, but buddy you need a good hard swift kick in the nads here. You are writing what the problem is. A married adult that has no desire for sex needs professional help 1st and foremost. Perhaps marriage counseling to include both of you but I would actually make it non optional that she go seek some professional help.

The anxiet issues...what did they take 50 years ago? My issue is anxiety is such a blanket term for so many things that you wonder how people ever got over stuff before the drug companies solved everyone's problems.

Oh and let's look at the side effects of Paxil shall we? I'm betting low sex drive is in the top 5...let's look.

Side effects for Paxil include...Anxiety; blurred vision; constipation; decreased sexual desire or ability; diarrhea; dizziness; drowsiness; dry mouth; gas; increased sweating; increased urination; loss of appetite; nausea; nervousness; numbness or tingling of the skin; stomach upset; trouble concentrating; trouble sleeping; weakness; yawning

So she's tired, constipated, thirsty, gassy, and has a built in low sex drive to boot...I'm sure she is running to bed to have sex with you.

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My brother is married and has 3 kids, he always says he's batting 3 for 4. And he's been telling me for 15 years not to get married. As have most of my divorced buddies. God forbid is it really THAT bad??? Marriage sounds godawful, gllll to ya man.

That depends on whether or not your are a man or a selfish little boy.Men love women the right way and care about their wife children more than themselves. Little boys whine about their me time playing video games, poker night with the boys and softball. If you aren't ready to grow up, then don't get married.Being married is for adults.
:lmao:I love how you speak as if there are only two options.

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She takes Paxil for anxiety issues. This has been going on far longer though. We used to have an amazing sex life. Several times a day, and week. The last 5 years, it has slowed to nothing. I've taken it personally, she insists that it's not me, but she has no desire for sex any longer. A man in his 30's needs sex. This can't go on.

Patrick, you're a good guy, you add to the FFA, but buddy you need a good hard swift kick in the nads here. You are writing what the problem is. A married adult that has no desire for sex needs professional help 1st and foremost. Perhaps marriage counseling to include both of you but I would actually make it non optional that she go seek some professional help.

The anxiet issues...what did they take 50 years ago? My issue is anxiety is such a blanket term for so many things that you wonder how people ever got over stuff before the drug companies solved everyone's problems.

Oh and let's look at the side effects of Paxil shall we? I'm betting low sex drive is in the top 5...let's look.

Side effects for Paxil include...Anxiety; blurred vision; constipation; decreased sexual desire or ability; diarrhea; dizziness; drowsiness; dry mouth; gas; increased sweating; increased urination; loss of appetite; nausea; nervousness; numbness or tingling of the skin; stomach upset; trouble concentrating; trouble sleeping; weakness; yawning

So she's tired, constipated, thirsty, gassy, and has a built in low sex drive to boot...I'm sure she is running to bed to have sex with you.

I know this. We have been dealing with this for the past several years. I need laid. Regularly. Let's get focused.

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My brother is married and has 3 kids, he always says he's batting 3 for 4. And he's been telling me for 15 years not to get married. As have most of my divorced buddies. God forbid is it really THAT bad??? Marriage sounds godawful, gllll to ya man.

That depends on whether or not your are a man or a selfish little boy.Men love women the right way and care about their wife children more than themselves. Little boys whine about their me time playing video games, poker night with the boys and softball. If you aren't ready to grow up, then don't get married.Being married is for adults.
I hear ya and that's what's so troubling about my brother's situation, he's none of those things. But the SIL turned into a witch after the ceremony. Scares the hell outta me, seeing a great dude going through the same crap as Bateman.
I haven't run across too many women who weren't mature enough for marriage, but it does definitely happen. My "marriage is for adults" line applies to women as well.
Clearly you don't know many women.

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She needs to have her hormone levels checked. She might be out of whack which is causing a whole host of problems and your current Dr. may be treating a symptom of that with Paxil.

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My brother is married and has 3 kids, he always says he's batting 3 for 4. And he's been telling me for 15 years not to get married. As have most of my divorced buddies. God forbid is it really THAT bad??? Marriage sounds godawful, gllll to ya man.

That depends on whether or not your are a man or a selfish little boy.Men love women the right way and care about their wife children more than themselves. Little boys whine about their me time playing video games, poker night with the boys and softball. If you aren't ready to grow up, then don't get married.Being married is for adults.
:lmao:I love how you speak as if there are only two options.
His brainwashing is complete.

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She takes Paxil for anxiety issues. This has been going on far longer though. We used to have an amazing sex life. Several times a day, and week. The last 5 years, it has slowed to nothing. I've taken it personally, she insists that it's not me, but she has no desire for sex any longer. A man in his 30's needs sex. This can't go on.

Patrick, you're a good guy, you add to the FFA, but buddy you need a good hard swift kick in the nads here. You are writing what the problem is. A married adult that has no desire for sex needs professional help 1st and foremost. Perhaps marriage counseling to include both of you but I would actually make it non optional that she go seek some professional help.

The anxiet issues...what did they take 50 years ago? My issue is anxiety is such a blanket term for so many things that you wonder how people ever got over stuff before the drug companies solved everyone's problems.

Oh and let's look at the side effects of Paxil shall we? I'm betting low sex drive is in the top 5...let's look.

Side effects for Paxil include...Anxiety; blurred vision; constipation; decreased sexual desire or ability; diarrhea; dizziness; drowsiness; dry mouth; gas; increased sweating; increased urination; loss of appetite; nausea; nervousness; numbness or tingling of the skin; stomach upset; trouble concentrating; trouble sleeping; weakness; yawning

So she's tired, constipated, thirsty, gassy, and has a built in low sex drive to boot...I'm sure she is running to bed to have sex with you.

I know this. We have been dealing with this for the past several years. I need laid. Regularly. Let's get focused.

hookers

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she have any hot friends? suggest a threesome

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She takes Paxil for anxiety issues. This has been going on far longer though. We used to have an amazing sex life. Several times a day, and week. The last 5 years, it has slowed to nothing. I've taken it personally, she insists that it's not me, but she has no desire for sex any longer. A man in his 30's needs sex. This can't go on.

Patrick, you're a good guy, you add to the FFA, but buddy you need a good hard swift kick in the nads here. You are writing what the problem is. A married adult that has no desire for sex needs professional help 1st and foremost. Perhaps marriage counseling to include both of you but I would actually make it non optional that she go seek some professional help.

The anxiet issues...what did they take 50 years ago? My issue is anxiety is such a blanket term for so many things that you wonder how people ever got over stuff before the drug companies solved everyone's problems.

Oh and let's look at the side effects of Paxil shall we? I'm betting low sex drive is in the top 5...let's look.

Side effects for Paxil include...Anxiety; blurred vision; constipation; decreased sexual desire or ability; diarrhea; dizziness; drowsiness; dry mouth; gas; increased sweating; increased urination; loss of appetite; nausea; nervousness; numbness or tingling of the skin; stomach upset; trouble concentrating; trouble sleeping; weakness; yawning

So she's tired, constipated, thirsty, gassy, and has a built in low sex drive to boot...I'm sure she is running to bed to have sex with you.

I know this. We have been dealing with this for the past several years. I need laid. Regularly. Let's get focused.

You can't teach the unteachable or reach the unreachable.

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