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terrible twos (1 Viewer)

shadyridr

Footballguy
my son is a nightmare these last two weeks. attached to me at the hip, wont let his mother do anything, tantrums for every little thing, hitting, throwing, not listening, you name it. i need a ####in drink :banned:

 
My daughter is two and a half and is kneeing me in the head while pulling my hair as I type this.

 
my son is a nightmare these last two weeks. attached to me at the hip, wont let his mother do anything, tantrums for every little thing, hitting, throwing, not listening, you name it. i need a ####in drink :banned:
find a good bourbon you like and get mellow - also helps because if they are teething you can rub a little on his gumssounds like some discipline would help as wellbut you will get throught it - as others have said, ENJOY the good times along the way - the memories will last a lifetime
 
On my 3rd boy who is about to turn two and we haven't had much problem with any of them. You hit, throw things, etc and you're in the corner for a couple minutes. I tell them i don't make the rules but I have to enforce them. Bad behavior is unaccepted, sorry kiddo, it's just the way it is

 
'Captain Hook said:
find a good bourbon you like and get mellow
:goodposting:JR's in bed, the house is finally quiet, and I'm watching the Rangers with a glass of Eagle Rare in hand.
 
On my 3rd boy who is about to turn two and we haven't had much problem with any of them. You hit, throw things, etc and you're in the corner for a couple minutes. I tell them i don't make the rules but I have to enforce them. Bad behavior is unaccepted, sorry kiddo, it's just the way it is
The timeout thing works well for us most of the time, but sometimes it's still a problem. Our son is 3 1/2 and he still can be a little you know what. I wish I could tell you it stops at 2, but it doesn't. Like others have said though, just enjoy it. While it might drive you crazy right now, I can't believe it's already been 3 1/2 years our son has been in our lives. Time just flies.
 
My daughter turned 2 in July and I really wish she would stay this age and act like she does for much longer than she will. She has a few bad moments every now and then but otherwise is a great kid. Hopefully in 2 yrs I'll be in the same position with my 2 month old.

 
maybe they should start a foster exchange service where you can foster kids over only the age group you prefer. you take in foster kids at age 2 and hand them off to the next family at age 4. that way you never have to deal with the kids getting older. just have to be careful that you don't get some russian dwarf pretending to be 2 years old when in reality they're 30 and plotting to kill you.

 
In my personaly experiance, 3 is much worse then 2. Same bad behavior with more dexterity. I hear 4 is when they really start to get better, or at least thats what I keep telling myself.

 
I have a 3.5 year old daugher. 2 years was easy. These past 6 months have been a #####. Can't get her to go to sleep without at least one kick/slap to my face. She is great until I say " time for bed' then a switch gets thrown. Still won't trade it for anything. Love the walking in the door from work and her runnign up to me to give me a big hug and tell me how she missed me during the day.

 
We got passed 2 and I thought 'Great. We dodged the terrible twos!'

Nope. Our daughter is well-behaved, but at 3 she argues and complains about everything. Only complies when we threaten consequences. Just testing boundaries.

 
We got passed 2 and I thought 'Great. We dodged the terrible twos!'Nope. Our daughter is well-behaved, but at 3 she argues and complains about everything. Only complies when we threaten consequences. Just testing boundaries.
Exactly. I think my son was the same way. Was fine until he hit 3 or so and then found his voice.
 
It's awful, it's beautiful, it's a test of my patience, it's amazing, it's the whole freaking gambit of great to frustrating. My daughter is almost 3 and last night was the first time I had to pull out a bottle of wine to cope. After the third glass I was fine and my patience magically returned. She was asleep by the fourth glass and so was I.

 
We got passed 2 and I thought 'Great. We dodged the terrible twos!'Nope. Our daughter is well-behaved, but at 3 she argues and complains about everything. Only complies when we threaten consequences. Just testing boundaries.
Exactly. I think my son was the same way. Was fine until he hit 3 or so and then found his voice.
This is how my daughter is. She's 4 1/2 now. Still behaves, when she wants to. Spoiled rotten. Daddy's girl.
 
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I think the "terrible twos" thing is a misnomer. I find it's actually 2.5 to 3.5. No escaping it, bro. They're learning they can do things for themselves and testing where your boundaries as a parent are. Be consistent and firm. Even though you're about to enter into that area where people in stores or restaurants are looking at you because your kid is wigging out...

 
the owrst thing is my son is completely attached to me. and while that sounds cool in theory, he forces me to do everything while my wife feels guilty that her 2.5 year old son "hates" her. if i tell him to let mommy help him he throws a tantrum that doesnt stop. anybody ever deal with this before?

 
the owrst thing is my son is completely attached to me. and while that sounds cool in theory, he forces me to do everything while my wife feels guilty that her 2.5 year old son "hates" her. if i tell him to let mommy help him he throws a tantrum that doesnt stop. anybody ever deal with this before?
Get the reverse of that with my daughter, who is clingy to mommy (esp. on weekends). But it ebbs and flows. I just chill in another part of the apartment until she is ready to be around me. Not sure exactly what is going on, but my wife and I think she views me in a competitive way - IOW, competing for mommy's time and affection.But its pretty mercurial. Can't really predict what will bring it on / set her off, and it might pass quickly. Once she gets off the crazy train, we talk to her about being nice, being a big girl, etc. But when she is in clingy mode, things spiral pretty quickly if you try to deal with in a forceful or direct manner.Oh, and it passes. Won't always be this way. Have to tell yourself that about 15,0000 times.Kids are a crapshoot. My oldest son never had these issues, and he was about 1/10th the trouble as my little one. But you just gotta deal with it. Make 'em feel loved and secure. They have to know you always believe in them, want was is best for them *(not what they always want), and you're always there for them. Part of that deal is loving them unconditionally, not just when they're being a good boy or a good girl. They have to know wiht 100% certainty you're always there for them whether they want it or deserve it or not - you're always there.ETA: sorry, she turned three this week.
 
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I found the 2's easier then the 3's.

Try your best to not take it all so seriously and have a laugh when you can.

 
Happiest Toddler, by Karp, gave us some real help.

Basically, toddllers don't have the language skills yet to match their growing physical skills, so they get frustrated fast and act out since they can't explain themselves. Karp says the key is to make it clear you understand them at a very primal, emotional level instead of, say, trying to correct or fix their tantrum. speak to them in very clear and basic- caveman-like- language showing that you see and understand waht they're feeling: "you are mad. You are really, really mad" until you see that they know you get how they're feeling.

At first it doesn't even matter why they're feeling that way, just that you show them you get it without jdgement about it. Sounds stupid, I know, but it worked great getting our 4yo to snap out of the tantrum when he was younger- especially once we could start a dialogue about why he was feeling the way he did.

 
Happiest Toddler, by Karp, gave us some real help. Basically, toddllers don't have the language skills yet to match their growing physical skills, so they get frustrated fast and act out since they can't explain themselves. Karp says the key is to make it clear you understand them at a very primal, emotional level instead of, say, trying to correct or fix their tantrum. speak to them in very clear and basic- caveman-like- language showing that you see and understand waht they're feeling: "you are mad. You are really, really mad" until you see that they know you get how they're feeling. At first it doesn't even matter why they're feeling that way, just that you show them you get it without jdgement about it. Sounds stupid, I know, but it worked great getting our 4yo to snap out of the tantrum when he was younger- especially once we could start a dialogue about why he was feeling the way he did.
thanks, my 2.5 yr old says a ton of words but most of them are unintelligible so i think there is a frustration angle
 
Have a 28 month old. He went from the most cooperative, laid back kid to a miniature version of Sybil. Some days he's still great. Other days we want to pull our hair out. Hoping this phase doesn't drag out too long.

 
Have a 28 month old. He went from the most cooperative, laid back kid to a miniature version of Sybil. Some days he's still great. Other days we want to pull our hair out. Hoping this phase doesn't drag out too long.
Really, 188 more months isn't that long to wait.
 
Terrific Twos, Terrible Threes IMO.
This. Although for our two daughters (9 and almost 6), five was almost even worse than three...if that is even possible. They sleep better at night, but my gosh...fight you for every inch of "way" and turf at that age, it seems.
 
I'm not gonna lie, both of my boys (currently 19 & 17) were wonderful kids. Never any real prollems....until my oldest knocked up his girlfriend. Now I have a wonderful and beautifully funny little grandson, Deke. Mrs TRF and I have been blessed in the kid department. Consistency is the key. Make reasonable rules and stick to them. Look for reasons to say "yes" instead of "no".

 
Sometimes the terrible twos don't come until they're 3 or so. Not sure which is worse.

Like others have said here, just try be firm and consistent, shower them with love, and enjoy the good things. They'll be driving you crazy in different ways until they're 40.

 
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Happiest Toddler, by Karp, gave us some real help.

Basically, toddllers don't have the language skills yet to match their growing physical skills, so they get frustrated fast and act out since they can't explain themselves. Karp says the key is to make it clear you understand them at a very primal, emotional level instead of, say, trying to correct or fix their tantrum. speak to them in very clear and basic- caveman-like- language showing that you see and understand waht they're feeling: "you are mad. You are really, really mad" until you see that they know you get how they're feeling.

At first it doesn't even matter why they're feeling that way, just that you show them you get it without jdgement about it. Sounds stupid, I know, but it worked great getting our 4yo to snap out of the tantrum when he was younger- especially once we could start a dialogue about why he was feeling the way he did.
thanks, my 2.5 yr old says a ton of words but most of them are unintelligible so i think there is a frustration angle
Like I said- the method worked really well with our son (and like everybody else, he was fine through his 2s and hit some good walloping tantrums in his 3s). Key was figuring which emotion he was going through (usually either "mad" or "frustrated") and then ultimately trying to say to him why he was feeling that way. "you're frustrated. you're really frustrated (when he starts nodding or saying yes).... you're frustrated because- something- you want to watch another show/buy that toy/stay at the playground/etc." Usually, by the time he started nodding in agreement to what he was feeling, the situation was already mostly diffused and we could move on to the "because" segment, at which point he'd start crying while hugging us (instead of screaming or acting out while during the tantrum).It was pretty hard to do this though without bringing my own emotions into it (usually being irritated at him for the tantrum) or trying to say things like "stop screaming" or "don't do that", which wouldn't help him settle down.

Of course- the method worked best in the comfort of home or playground- in a more adult-oriented public place, it became tougher to be patient enough to follow through with it... usually meant taking him outside (which created a worse tantrum) and then try to diffuse.

Oh- this is all from a book, The Happiest Toddler on the Block, by Karp- same guy who did Happiest Baby on the Block.

gl!

 
Oh man after a night of getting served by my 3 week old and already having a 17 month old I am really wondering how I'll deal with my 17 mo old turning on me.

Off to find the scotch thread bc daddy needs to reup.

 
the owrst thing is my son is completely attached to me. and while that sounds cool in theory, he forces me to do everything while my wife feels guilty that her 2.5 year old son "hates" her. if i tell him to let mommy help him he throws a tantrum that doesnt stop. anybody ever deal with this before?
Go away for a week. Or a weekend at least. Most of all, stop doing things for him. Walk away when he gets that way and let him cry it out. My 3.5 daughter gets this way from time to time, often playing favorites. It used to last a few days until my wife and I figured out to ignore her when she asks. In fact, I've found the ignore button to be one of the most effective tools. She gets pissy about something, I pretend like I don't hear her. It sucked at first as she would whine and pout more, but she's been getting a lot better at asking for things nicely at the outset.
 
the owrst thing is my son is completely attached to me. and while that sounds cool in theory, he forces me to do everything while my wife feels guilty that her 2.5 year old son "hates" her. if i tell him to let mommy help him he throws a tantrum that doesnt stop. anybody ever deal with this before?
Go away for a week. Or a weekend at least. Most of all, stop doing things for him. Walk away when he gets that way and let him cry it out. My 3.5 daughter gets this way from time to time, often playing favorites. It used to last a few days until my wife and I figured out to ignore her when she asks. In fact, I've found the ignore button to be one of the most effective tools. She gets pissy about something, I pretend like I don't hear her. It sucked at first as she would whine and pout more, but she's been getting a lot better at asking for things nicely at the outset.
This is good advice, it works for me as well, it's hard to do sometimes but knowing when to ignore bad behavior really seems to keep the drama to a minimum and I find it stops her from repeating certain "power struggles" with us. She's smart so she figures out that if I do "X" I get no result, so why even bother. It's funny because while we're trying to instill "discipline" in her I also have to instill it in me as well. Crazy how that works!
 
My son is 4 1/2 and really high maintenance. My daughter is 2 1/2 and not that bad other than some whining time to time. She sleeps from 8pm to 7:30am and takes a 2hr nap in the afternoon. My son sleeps from 10pm to 6am, no nap, and is a terror all day. And he doesn't eat anything. I don't know where he gets the energy. I've only seen one other kid that is more hyper than my son. He's always running around making everything into a sword or gun, acting like he's Spiderman, Indiana Jones, or some Star Wars character. I've seen a few episodes of Super Nanny and none of the toddler behavior on that show shocks me.

It doesn't help matters that we have 2 cats that puke and #### all over the house.

One thing I'm amazed by is my daughter's language skills. She's been able to carry on full conversations with complete sentences since just a few months over 2. Amazing. My son is 2 years older and at basically the same level (probably behind a little for his age).

 
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In my personaly experiance, 3 is much worse then 2. Same bad behavior with more dexterity. I hear 4 is when they really start to get better, or at least thats what I keep telling myself.
This guy knows stuff. 3 was WAAAAY worse for both my girls. 2 was actually very enjoyable for me. Start to be able to interact with them and they still have takes on life that crack you up. By 3 they are just testing your mental fortitude....I'm just hitting the teen years now, heaven help me!
 
the owrst thing is my son is completely attached to me. and while that sounds cool in theory, he forces me to do everything while my wife feels guilty that her 2.5 year old son "hates" her. if i tell him to let mommy help him he throws a tantrum that doesnt stop. anybody ever deal with this before?
Go away for a week. Or a weekend at least. Most of all, stop doing things for him. Walk away when he gets that way and let him cry it out. My 3.5 daughter gets this way from time to time, often playing favorites. It used to last a few days until my wife and I figured out to ignore her when she asks. In fact, I've found the ignore button to be one of the most effective tools. She gets pissy about something, I pretend like I don't hear her. It sucked at first as she would whine and pout more, but she's been getting a lot better at asking for things nicely at the outset.
This is good advice, it works for me as well, it's hard to do sometimes but knowing when to ignore bad behavior really seems to keep the drama to a minimum and I find it stops her from repeating certain "power struggles" with us. She's smart so she figures out that if I do "X" I get no result, so why even bother. It's funny because while we're trying to instill "discipline" in her I also have to instill it in me as well. Crazy how that works!
:goodposting: there are times for us when no method works with him- and anything we try only makes him worse. At those times we just shut it down on our end and let him cry it out. But it's hard not to try to do something for him when he's in meltdown mode- so I totally agree with the "instill discipline in me" part of the above.

 
the owrst thing is my son is completely attached to me. and while that sounds cool in theory, he forces me to do everything while my wife feels guilty that her 2.5 year old son "hates" her. if i tell him to let mommy help him he throws a tantrum that doesnt stop. anybody ever deal with this before?
Go away for a week. Or a weekend at least. Most of all, stop doing things for him. Walk away when he gets that way and let him cry it out. My 3.5 daughter gets this way from time to time, often playing favorites. It used to last a few days until my wife and I figured out to ignore her when she asks. In fact, I've found the ignore button to be one of the most effective tools. She gets pissy about something, I pretend like I don't hear her. It sucked at first as she would whine and pout more, but she's been getting a lot better at asking for things nicely at the outset.
i know. but its hard some time. for example the other day my wife gave him a bath but when he was done he wanted me to take him out and dry and dress him. its hard to just ignore when hes sitting there wet and naked.
 
Happiest Toddler, by Karp, gave us some real help. Basically, toddllers don't have the language skills yet to match their growing physical skills, so they get frustrated fast and act out since they can't explain themselves. Karp says the key is to make it clear you understand them at a very primal, emotional level instead of, say, trying to correct or fix their tantrum. speak to them in very clear and basic- caveman-like- language showing that you see and understand waht they're feeling: "you are mad. You are really, really mad" until you see that they know you get how they're feeling. At first it doesn't even matter why they're feeling that way, just that you show them you get it without jdgement about it. Sounds stupid, I know, but it worked great getting our 4yo to snap out of the tantrum when he was younger- especially once we could start a dialogue about why he was feeling the way he did.
this is pretty much our experience with our 18 month old son. a friend recommended the "baby signing time" dvds to help him express himself better. he's been able to pick up some of it. we're hoping it can serve him well over the coming months. if nothing else, he loves the videos so much that i use it as some leverage in negotiating with him.
 
In my personaly experiance, 3 is much worse then 2. Same bad behavior with more dexterity. I hear 4 is when they really start to get better, or at least thats what I keep telling myself.
3 was/is definitely worse.My son got worse at 3...my daughter is doing the same.All the things they did at 2 are there, but now they are a bit bigger and have learned to reason and argue a bit.
 
I was fortunate. My daughter did not go through any of this. She had a tantrum once. I left her on the floor and walked around the corner. She saw I was not there and stopped. Never tried it again.

I can assure you it gets better. It is tough for them as well. The world is huge, mom/dad are the center of it, and they are becoming cognoscente of everything.

The best advice is to Tag Team. Know when the other needs a break so the other can step in.

 
The funny thing is when our son was a baby my wife and I would argue alot cuz we both had different ideas about what was right, etc (pretty standard arguments, nothing terrible). Now that hes a toddler it almost feels like its us against him and our relationship has never been better lol

 

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