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shadyridr

terrible twos

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the owrst thing is my son is completely attached to me. and while that sounds cool in theory, he forces me to do everything while my wife feels guilty that her 2.5 year old son "hates" her. if i tell him to let mommy help him he throws a tantrum that doesnt stop. anybody ever deal with this before?

Go away for a week. Or a weekend at least. Most of all, stop doing things for him. Walk away when he gets that way and let him cry it out. My 3.5 daughter gets this way from time to time, often playing favorites. It used to last a few days until my wife and I figured out to ignore her when she asks. In fact, I've found the ignore button to be one of the most effective tools. She gets pissy about something, I pretend like I don't hear her. It sucked at first as she would whine and pout more, but she's been getting a lot better at asking for things nicely at the outset.

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the owrst thing is my son is completely attached to me. and while that sounds cool in theory, he forces me to do everything while my wife feels guilty that her 2.5 year old son "hates" her. if i tell him to let mommy help him he throws a tantrum that doesnt stop. anybody ever deal with this before?

Go away for a week. Or a weekend at least. Most of all, stop doing things for him. Walk away when he gets that way and let him cry it out. My 3.5 daughter gets this way from time to time, often playing favorites. It used to last a few days until my wife and I figured out to ignore her when she asks. In fact, I've found the ignore button to be one of the most effective tools. She gets pissy about something, I pretend like I don't hear her. It sucked at first as she would whine and pout more, but she's been getting a lot better at asking for things nicely at the outset.
This is good advice, it works for me as well, it's hard to do sometimes but knowing when to ignore bad behavior really seems to keep the drama to a minimum and I find it stops her from repeating certain "power struggles" with us. She's smart so she figures out that if I do "X" I get no result, so why even bother. It's funny because while we're trying to instill "discipline" in her I also have to instill it in me as well. Crazy how that works!

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My son is 4 1/2 and really high maintenance. My daughter is 2 1/2 and not that bad other than some whining time to time. She sleeps from 8pm to 7:30am and takes a 2hr nap in the afternoon. My son sleeps from 10pm to 6am, no nap, and is a terror all day. And he doesn't eat anything. I don't know where he gets the energy. I've only seen one other kid that is more hyper than my son. He's always running around making everything into a sword or gun, acting like he's Spiderman, Indiana Jones, or some Star Wars character. I've seen a few episodes of Super Nanny and none of the toddler behavior on that show shocks me.

It doesn't help matters that we have 2 cats that puke and #### all over the house.

One thing I'm amazed by is my daughter's language skills. She's been able to carry on full conversations with complete sentences since just a few months over 2. Amazing. My son is 2 years older and at basically the same level (probably behind a little for his age).

Edited by 17seconds

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In my personaly experiance, 3 is much worse then 2. Same bad behavior with more dexterity. I hear 4 is when they really start to get better, or at least thats what I keep telling myself.

This guy knows stuff. 3 was WAAAAY worse for both my girls. 2 was actually very enjoyable for me. Start to be able to interact with them and they still have takes on life that crack you up. By 3 they are just testing your mental fortitude....I'm just hitting the teen years now, heaven help me!

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the owrst thing is my son is completely attached to me. and while that sounds cool in theory, he forces me to do everything while my wife feels guilty that her 2.5 year old son "hates" her. if i tell him to let mommy help him he throws a tantrum that doesnt stop. anybody ever deal with this before?

Go away for a week. Or a weekend at least. Most of all, stop doing things for him. Walk away when he gets that way and let him cry it out. My 3.5 daughter gets this way from time to time, often playing favorites. It used to last a few days until my wife and I figured out to ignore her when she asks. In fact, I've found the ignore button to be one of the most effective tools. She gets pissy about something, I pretend like I don't hear her. It sucked at first as she would whine and pout more, but she's been getting a lot better at asking for things nicely at the outset.
This is good advice, it works for me as well, it's hard to do sometimes but knowing when to ignore bad behavior really seems to keep the drama to a minimum and I find it stops her from repeating certain "power struggles" with us. She's smart so she figures out that if I do "X" I get no result, so why even bother. It's funny because while we're trying to instill "discipline" in her I also have to instill it in me as well. Crazy how that works!
:goodposting:

there are times for us when no method works with him- and anything we try only makes him worse. At those times we just shut it down on our end and let him cry it out. But it's hard not to try to do something for him when he's in meltdown mode- so I totally agree with the "instill discipline in me" part of the above.

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the owrst thing is my son is completely attached to me. and while that sounds cool in theory, he forces me to do everything while my wife feels guilty that her 2.5 year old son "hates" her. if i tell him to let mommy help him he throws a tantrum that doesnt stop. anybody ever deal with this before?

Go away for a week. Or a weekend at least. Most of all, stop doing things for him. Walk away when he gets that way and let him cry it out. My 3.5 daughter gets this way from time to time, often playing favorites. It used to last a few days until my wife and I figured out to ignore her when she asks. In fact, I've found the ignore button to be one of the most effective tools. She gets pissy about something, I pretend like I don't hear her. It sucked at first as she would whine and pout more, but she's been getting a lot better at asking for things nicely at the outset.
i know. but its hard some time. for example the other day my wife gave him a bath but when he was done he wanted me to take him out and dry and dress him. its hard to just ignore when hes sitting there wet and naked.

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Happiest Toddler, by Karp, gave us some real help. Basically, toddllers don't have the language skills yet to match their growing physical skills, so they get frustrated fast and act out since they can't explain themselves. Karp says the key is to make it clear you understand them at a very primal, emotional level instead of, say, trying to correct or fix their tantrum. speak to them in very clear and basic- caveman-like- language showing that you see and understand waht they're feeling: "you are mad. You are really, really mad" until you see that they know you get how they're feeling. At first it doesn't even matter why they're feeling that way, just that you show them you get it without jdgement about it. Sounds stupid, I know, but it worked great getting our 4yo to snap out of the tantrum when he was younger- especially once we could start a dialogue about why he was feeling the way he did.

this is pretty much our experience with our 18 month old son. a friend recommended the "baby signing time" dvds to help him express himself better. he's been able to pick up some of it. we're hoping it can serve him well over the coming months. if nothing else, he loves the videos so much that i use it as some leverage in negotiating with him.

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In my personaly experiance, 3 is much worse then 2. Same bad behavior with more dexterity. I hear 4 is when they really start to get better, or at least thats what I keep telling myself.

3 was/is definitely worse.My son got worse at 3...my daughter is doing the same.All the things they did at 2 are there, but now they are a bit bigger and have learned to reason and argue a bit.

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I was fortunate. My daughter did not go through any of this. She had a tantrum once. I left her on the floor and walked around the corner. She saw I was not there and stopped. Never tried it again.

I can assure you it gets better. It is tough for them as well. The world is huge, mom/dad are the center of it, and they are becoming cognoscente of everything.

The best advice is to Tag Team. Know when the other needs a break so the other can step in.

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The funny thing is when our son was a baby my wife and I would argue alot cuz we both had different ideas about what was right, etc (pretty standard arguments, nothing terrible). Now that hes a toddler it almost feels like its us against him and our relationship has never been better lol

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babyGirlGunZ turns 2 in a week, and it's almost as if someone flipped a switch at times. For 23 months she's been mellow, cooperative, and generally well behaved. The past couple weeks, Satan has taken over her body at times, and I'm an atheist. Screaming, crying, rolling around on the floor, etc. but won't tell us what's wrong. And that' because nothings wrong. I turn on Thomas the Train, or Barney, and she's instantly better.

I think I'm going to stock up the liquor cabinet for the summer.

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Terrific Twos, Terrible Threes IMO.

This. Although for our two daughters (9 and almost 6), five was almost even worse than three...if that is even possible. They sleep better at night, but my gosh...fight you for every inch of "way" and turf at that age, it seems.
:goodposting: Add in that I started my daughter in kindergarten this year, so she thinks she already knows everything.

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Terrific Twos, Terrible Threes IMO.

This. Although for our two daughters (9 and almost 6), five was almost even worse than three...if that is even possible. They sleep better at night, but my gosh...fight you for every inch of "way" and turf at that age, it seems.
:goodposting: Add in that I started my daughter in kindergarten this year, so she thinks she already knows everything.
1st grade 6 was worse than 5 for us. And agree on the 3's worse than 2's

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3's has been 53X worse imo

Edited by texasheat

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My son is 3 years and 3 months. He was awesome as a two year old. As a 3 year old I have decided to not have any more kids.

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My son turns two in about 2 weeks. he's got a hair-trigger temper that is consistent with what i understand most kids this age have. he's still ridiculously sweet and good natured about 90% (okay, maybe 80%) of the time.

one worry i have is he's just not a big eater at home. he hasn't really put on a pound since his check up about 6 months ago. super picky eater.

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Our son was great until a little before 2. Add in to the equation that a baby girl came into the home when he was 26 months old and it's been a pretty challenging 6 months. Please don't tell me that 3 is worse. PLEASE!!

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3's has been 53X worse imo

God please say it isn't so!!!????? My 2 yr old is a nightmare. I'n addition to the usual tantrums and such, he has broken every table lamp in the house from climbing on the tables, eats anything that is not supposed to be eaten, ripped my daughter's wallpaper boarder off her wall, countless tantrums, and fighting us when it is time for sleep. But in addition to all that.....just this weekend somehow he got his hands on a bottle of Espresso colored liquid furniture polish, turned it upside down and proceeded to Jackson Pollock the carpet in 2 of the 3 bedrooms, the hallway and the stairs. Anyone have any good deals on carpet?I think its worse b/x my daughter was such an angle.

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babyGirlGunZ turns 2 in a week, and it's almost as if someone flipped a switch at times. For 23 months she's been mellow, cooperative, and generally well behaved. The past couple weeks, Satan has taken over her body at times, and I'm an atheist. Screaming, crying, rolling around on the floor, etc. but won't tell us what's wrong. And that' because nothings wrong. I turn on Thomas the Train, or Barney, and she's instantly better.I think I'm going to stock up the liquor cabinet for the summer.

The start of wimmenz manipulation.

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I will trade you your 2.5 yo for my 13 yo girl. :wall: << I do this often.

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My wife and I have a 5 and a half year old girl and a 3 and a half year old boy. Both are great, but tons of work.

I nicknamed my son Percy Harvin because he is a threat to do damage from anywhere and gives us migraines :excited:

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My 22 month old has just figured out he can throw a fit. The most random things will set him off. Like coming from the backyard to go inside...he'll flip out.

We let him whine a bit, then he gets distracted.

I'm assuming this is the terrible twos?

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Agree with others about 3 being worse than 2. Unlimited energy and has to be involved in everything.

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Sometimes I feel guilty when I'm happy that my hyper kid is sick because he mellows out.

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3's has been 53X worse imo

God please say it isn't so!!!????? My 2 yr old is a nightmare. I'n addition to the usual tantrums and such, he has broken every table lamp in the house from climbing on the tables, eats anything that is not supposed to be eaten, ripped my daughter's wallpaper boarder off her wall, countless tantrums, and fighting us when it is time for sleep. But in addition to all that.....just this weekend somehow he got his hands on a bottle of Espresso colored liquid furniture polish, turned it upside down and proceeded to Jackson Pollock the carpet in 2 of the 3 bedrooms, the hallway and the stairs. Anyone have any good deals on carpet?I think its worse b/x my daughter was such an angle.
Obtuse or Acute?

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My daughter is 3 now, when she was 2 she tried to pull that tantrum crap on us and the trick is to just walk away. She was trying to figure out what works and what doesn't in terms of attention. It's funny because we would walk away into a different room and peer around the corner to watch her and after a minute or two she would look around and stop freaking out and she always had this 'hey where the hell did they go' look on her face. Luckily we were able to nip that behavior in the bud quickly. Now that she is 3 there are a new set of challenges but she understands that crying gets her nothing, it's the unbreakable law. She'll occasionaly try but I say the same thing repeatedly, "What does Daddy always say?" and she'll reply " Crying gets you nothing"

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My son just turned 3 and I can tell you all that stuff immediately gets better.

:mellow:

:lmao:

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My daughter is 11 months and the whole terrible twos scare me... she has my temper and stubbornness... the only thing that gives me solace is that I was actually a very good kid through those young ages.

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3's has been 53X worse imo

God please say it isn't so!!!????? My 2 yr old is a nightmare. I'n addition to the usual tantrums and such, he has broken every table lamp in the house from climbing on the tables, eats anything that is not supposed to be eaten, ripped my daughter's wallpaper boarder off her wall, countless tantrums, and fighting us when it is time for sleep. But in addition to all that.....just this weekend somehow he got his hands on a bottle of Espresso colored liquid furniture polish, turned it upside down and proceeded to Jackson Pollock the carpet in 2 of the 3 bedrooms, the hallway and the stairs. Anyone have any good deals on carpet?I think its worse b/x my daughter was such an angle.
Obtuse or Acute?
:lol:

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daughter is 2.60 years and has recently entered her "phase"

If we can get through this and finally get her to poop on the potty consistently, I think we'll be golden until puberty.

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My very wild almost 22 month old is pretty tilted by the arrival of his sister who is now 5 months. I don't know if I am going to be able to handle another level of crazy without sedatives for the whole family.

A third kid is not happening unless the stork drops it off.

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In the middle if full on Supernanny mode tonight. Walked him back to bed 29 times so far. New house and just out of crib = showdown.

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29 times in 25 minutes and he surrendered to my superior will power.

In my mind I'm on the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art and the music is BLARING.

2 people like this

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In my personaly experiance, 3 is much worse then 2. Same bad behavior with more dexterity. I hear 4 is when they really start to get better, or at least thats what I keep telling myself.

I agree with this.
Yep. Me too.

Turns out I was dead right. And 4 was a great time.

Now she is 5 1/2...... and she is becoming a whiny bizzo. I want this.... No.... tantrum... Awful...

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Nearly three now and these days pretty much everything is a battle unless it's something she decides on her own she wants to do. Getting dressed to leave the house? Tears. Putting a hat on? Whining. THAT coat instead of THIS coat? Scream bloody murder. And it's the same thing with eating, changing diapers, and heaven forbid the wrong parent undertake an activity that she in her mind has assigned to the other parent. (We're in the midst of quite a mommy phase lately; with mommy being 8 months pregnant, daddy tries to help with tasks when I can -- mass hysteria when it turns out I'm not supposed to lift her into her car seat because she wants mommy to do that). And of course sprinkle into this constant conflict some heavy doses of hormones...

I keep telling myself she's going to turn the corner tomorrow and start behaving rationally, but then the very next morning she's emitting blood curdling screams because she instructed me to "press the red button" on the dash of the car (the hazard lights) and I declined.

Cute age.

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My very wild almost 22 month old is pretty tilted by the arrival of his sister who is now 5 months. I don't know if I am going to be able to handle another level of crazy without sedatives for the whole family.A third kid is not happening unless the stork drops it off.

3.6 and about 2.2 currently. Both are wild and fun and challenging. I negotiate with them nearly every second of my time at home. It's getting better though.

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Nearly three now and these days pretty much everything is a battle unless it's something she decides on her own she wants to do. Getting dressed to leave the house? Tears. Putting a hat on? Whining. THAT coat instead of THIS coat? Scream bloody murder. And it's the same thing with eating, changing diapers, and heaven forbid the wrong parent undertake an activity that she in her mind has assigned to the other parent. (We're in the midst of quite a mommy phase lately; with mommy being 8 months pregnant, daddy tries to help with tasks when I can -- mass hysteria when it turns out I'm not supposed to lift her into her car seat because she wants mommy to do that). And of course sprinkle into this constant conflict some heavy doses of hormones...

I keep telling myself she's going to turn the corner tomorrow and start behaving rationally, but then the very next morning she's emitting blood curdling screams because she instructed me to "press the red button" on the dash of the car (the hazard lights) and I declined.

Cute age.

reminds me of this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vRhr502wIc

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My son is 4.5 now and while he's a very good boy now he is a major crybaby. Everything sets him off

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