No. 16

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yo

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20 is far too young to be in a serious, long-term relationship. With all due respect, you have absolutely no idea what you want.

:goodposting:

Don't ever "change" for anyone. All of the excuses she gave you that you posted is just chick lingo for "I want to go out and bang a bunch of other dudes"

Yes but listen to what she said, it is probably a pretty good assessment of your shortcomings. Use this assessment to fix yourself for the next girl(s). If you were in a position of authority and somebody gave you a piece of their mind about you. or your company, you would be a fool not to listen.

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It's ALWAYS another guy. ####... might even be Offdee. You two live in a swanky condo?

Did you recently have a post-it attached to your door; check for glue residue.
:goodposting:

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100% there is another guy right now. Sorry man u can believe her if u want, but u will soon find out she's in the sasauge market lookin for new meat. Let her go and pound her best friend like one of the above posters said. She'll come back real soon.Good luck

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Sorry to hear 16. Like most have said, move on without pining or holding out any hope. It's time to do things for YOU now. Get in shape, hang with friends, advance your career, buy a house and fix it up, etc.

Here's the hardest part. You are obviously friends with her, after being together (and living together) for so long. BUT... that has to end. Initiate no contact. Unfriend her on Facebook. Unfollow her on Twitter. Do NOT talk about her with friends, don't "stalk" her to see how/what she's doing. If she calls/contacts you, communicate with her like you would a casual work aquaintance, nothing more. Don't be an ###, but there's nothing left for you two to talk about. Cordial but indifferent.

The two of you remaining in each others' lives will only 1) make it harder for you to move on (which, if you haven't picked up on, you need to do) and 2) make EVERYONE uncomfortable when you (or she) get into another relationship. Treat her like a company that just fired you for no good reason. Move on. Sever ties. It'll suck for a month or two, but it would suck way worse for way longer if you don't just get it over with.

Be happy this didn't happen in 2 years when you're married with a kid.

Best of luck. Please let us know when you get your first, hot strange.

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She's lying. There's another guy. She wants the romance of early dating, of being wooed. She'll regret leaving you some day when she realizes that the early wooing stage never lasts forever. Who knows how long it will take for her to reach that conclusion. Years maybe. You need to move on.

Dead-on balls accurate.

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Thanks guys.

So no one recommends one last ditch effort? Some type of Hail Mary play to save the relationship?

Will check in sporadically. Going to happy hour with some friends and catch the Dubs game at Hooters.

As Nipsey and others have said, any (extremely slim) chance you have at saving this relationship means you can't actually show you're trying to save it. Go be a rock star and stay really busy. She might see you moving on so quickly and having so much fun and reconsider. THAT is your hail mary. Pining over her and begging for one more chance feels like the right move but it really isn't. That road is a guaranteed dead end.
Exactly right. I've been there too, #16. I was Mikey from "Swingers." Worst time of my life and didn't work for ####. After I "moved on" (physically, not emotionally) and banged 10 different girls in the span of about 2 months and stopped thinking about her all the time, that's when the phone calls from her started. Fight every instinct you have to try to win her back. Girls don't respond to that, they want a strong, confident guy who is in demand with others. It's the only chance you've got (and you'll probably find that even if you "win her back", it won't end well.)

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She's lying. There's another guy. She wants the romance of early dating, of being wooed. She'll regret leaving you some day when she realizes that the early wooing stage never lasts forever. Who knows how long it will take for her to reach that conclusion. Years maybe. You need to move on.

Dead-on balls accurate.
Absolutely spot on about the wooing stage and her at some point wanting to come back..

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Games you can now play since you are single :

Lion

Elephant

Barbecue

Get out there and take the field.

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She's lying. There's another guy. She wants the romance of early dating, of being wooed. She'll regret leaving you some day when she realizes that the early wooing stage never lasts forever. Who knows how long it will take for her to reach that conclusion. Years maybe. You need to move on.

Dead-on balls accurate.
Absolutely spot on about the wooing stage and her at some point wanting to come back..
They always realize they made a mistake at some point. For me, it was only after she married and divorced the guy she left me for that I got the "it was all a terrible mistake" e-mail. I wonder if that dude knows I never stopped banging her either, up to a week before their wedding at her bachelorette party in Vegas. Sucker. :lol:

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Thanks a ton guys. The support had helped a lot to change my mindset.

Funny actually came home later then her (she had work) and I could already tell she was a bit jealous when she found out who I was hanging out with.

Still don't feel totally happy, but I was able to enjoy myself last night.

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Thanks a ton guys. The support had helped a lot to change my mindset.Funny actually came home later then her (she had work) and I could already tell she was a bit jealous when she found out who I was hanging out with.Still don't feel totally happy, but I was able to enjoy myself last night.

Wait, you guys are still living together?

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Thanks a ton guys. The support had helped a lot to change my mindset.

Funny actually came home later then her (she had work) and I could already tell she was a bit jealous when she found out who I was hanging out with.Still don't feel totally happy, but I was able to enjoy myself last night.

Wait, you guys are still living together?
:yes:

This poor kid... you can almost hear his desperate hope as you read the bolded.

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Thanks a ton guys. The support had helped a lot to change my mindset.Funny actually came home later then her (she had work) and I could already tell she was a bit jealous when she found out who I was hanging out with.Still don't feel totally happy, but I was able to enjoy myself last night.

:thumbup: Lots of good advice in this thread. Same thing happened to me and I was crushed. Met my wife not long after and have been happily married for 18 years. best thing that ever happened to me. Go out, have fun. It won't be easy but it gets better, especially when you find someone else. Just don't get into anything too serious, too soon if you can.

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Thanks a ton guys. The support had helped a lot to change my mindset.Funny actually came home later then her (she had work) and I could already tell she was a bit jealous when she found out who I was hanging out with.Still don't feel totally happy, but I was able to enjoy myself last night.

Wait, you guys are still living together?
It's Friday

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Thanks a ton guys. The support had helped a lot to change my mindset.

Funny actually came home later then her (she had work) and I could already tell she was a bit jealous when she found out who I was hanging out with.Still don't feel totally happy, but I was able to enjoy myself last night.

Wait, you guys are still living together?
:yes:

This poor kid... you can almost hear his desperate hope as you read the bolded.

Yeah. That mindset needs to change ASAP. Don't try to make her jealous, don't CARE if she's jealous, don't KNOW if she's jealous. Sever ties. Kick her out if she doesn't move very soon.

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Thanks a ton guys. The support had helped a lot to change my mindset.

Funny actually came home later then her (she had work) and I could already tell she was a bit jealous when she found out who I was hanging out with.Still don't feel totally happy, but I was able to enjoy myself last night.

Wait, you guys are still living together?
:yes:

This poor kid... you can almost hear his desperate hope as you read the bolded.

Yeah. That mindset needs to change ASAP. Don't try to make her jealous, don't CARE if she's jealous, don't KNOW if she's jealous. Sever ties. Kick her out if she doesn't move very soon.
and post nudies over at :e:

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Thanks a ton guys. The support had helped a lot to change my mindset.Funny actually came home later then her (she had work) and I could already tell she was a bit jealous when she found out who I was hanging out with.Still don't feel totally happy, but I was able to enjoy myself last night.

Wait, you guys are still living together?
I missed that in the OP too. 16 - this arrangement has to end ASAP.

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Thanks a ton guys. The support had helped a lot to change my mindset.

Funny actually came home later then her (she had work) and I could already tell she was a bit jealous when she found out who I was hanging out with.Still don't feel totally happy, but I was able to enjoy myself last night.

Wait, you guys are still living together?
:yes:

This poor kid... you can almost hear his desperate hope as you read the bolded.

Yeah. That mindset needs to change ASAP. Don't try to make her jealous, don't CARE if she's jealous, don't KNOW if she's jealous. Sever ties. Kick her out if she doesn't move very soon.
Wait. It's HIS place, she's living there with him, and she broke up with him? No.16, if this is the case, you need to throw her out now. I'm not kidding. Like, literally, don't even finish this sentence I'm writing, just throw her out NOW. Why are you still reading? I thought I told you to stop reading and thr- dude, I'm not kidding. THROW HER OUT NOW ! Stop reading this. STOP IT !! OK, if you're not going to stop reading, I'm going to stop writing.

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Thanks a ton guys. The support had helped a lot to change my mindset.

Funny actually came home later then her (she had work) and I could already tell she was a bit jealous when she found out who I was hanging out with.Still don't feel totally happy, but I was able to enjoy myself last night.

Wait, you guys are still living together?
:yes:

This poor kid... you can almost hear his desperate hope as you read the bolded.

Yeah. That mindset needs to change ASAP. Don't try to make her jealous, don't CARE if she's jealous, don't KNOW if she's jealous. Sever ties. Kick her out if she doesn't move very soon.
Wait. It's HIS place, she's living there with him, and she broke up with him? No.16, if this is the case, you need to throw her out now. I'm not kidding. Like, literally, don't even finish this sentence I'm writing, just throw her out NOW. Why are you still reading? I thought I told you to stop reading and thr- dude, I'm not kidding. THROW HER OUT NOW ! Stop reading this. STOP IT !! OK, if you're not going to stop reading, I'm going to stop writing.
He won't do that. Do tell her she's got 2-3 weeks to find a place though.

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Yah won't just kick her out. She really has no place to go as her family doesn't live in this area. She's looking for place to move so no biggie.

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Yah won't just kick her out. She really has no place to go as her family doesn't live in this area. She's looking for place to move so no biggie.

It really IS a biggie. MAKE IT a biggie. Take Raiderfan's advice and run with it. Otherwise you prolong the uncomfortablness, your emotional pain, and your start to bouncing back.ETA: is this your house/apt, hers, or both? Edited by Keerock

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Thanks a ton guys. The support had helped a lot to change my mindset.

Funny actually came home later then her (she had work) and I could already tell she was a bit jealous when she found out who I was hanging out with.Still don't feel totally happy, but I was able to enjoy myself last night.

Wait, you guys are still living together?
:yes:

This poor kid... you can almost hear his desperate hope as you read the bolded.

Yeah. That mindset needs to change ASAP. Don't try to make her jealous, don't CARE if she's jealous, don't KNOW if she's jealous. Sever ties. Kick her out if she doesn't move very soon.
Wait. It's HIS place, she's living there with him, and she broke up with him? No.16, if this is the case, you need to throw her out now. I'm not kidding. Like, literally, don't even finish this sentence I'm writing, just throw her out NOW. Why are you still reading? I thought I told you to stop reading and thr- dude, I'm not kidding. THROW HER OUT NOW ! Stop reading this. STOP IT !! OK, if you're not going to stop reading, I'm going to stop writing.
He won't do that. Do tell her she's got 2-3 weeks to find a place though.
I'd tell her she has 2-3 minutes to do so before my foot found a place between her buttocks.

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Yah won't just kick her out. She really has no place to go as her family doesn't live in this area. She's looking for place to move so no biggie.

It really IS a biggie. MAKE IT a biggie. Take Raiderfan's advice and run with it. Otherwise you prolong the uncomfortablness, your emotional pain, and your start to bouncing back.ETA: is this your house/apt, hers, or both?
:goodposting: It really is a biggie. If it's your place, make her stay with friends. She must have someone with a couch. If it's your place, leave. Find a couch somewhere. You need one of you to move out by the end of today. You could even be nice and say tomorrow (though that's probably too nice). Edited by Dr. Awesome

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Yah won't just kick her out. She really has no place to go as her family doesn't live in this area. She's looking for place to move so no biggie.

Tell her to get a storage locker and a hotel room. I'm not joking. Out.

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Yah won't just kick her out. She really has no place to go as her family doesn't live in this area. She's looking for place to move so no biggie.

It really IS a biggie. MAKE IT a biggie.
Yep. You can't risk getting sucked in by her vortex of ineptitude. She has friends she can stay with. Make her.

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If she knew she was going to break up with you she should have had another place lined up before she dropped the news. If she didn't she's either stupid or knows she can use you. You have no use for either.

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Tell her that now that you're a single guy, your "new things" are porking hookers in the living room and zapping your room-mate with a cattle prod every 20 minutes or so. A couple of hookers and a cattle prod can't cost more than a few hundred bucks. She'll be gone by sundown.

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The problem is, the worst case scenario here is what he believes is the best case scenario--that she second guesses herself and decides to stay. It's inevitable he'll feel this way and doesn't see the downside of it happening. It's easier to look at his situation from the outside and with the experience of it happening, knowing how it turns out.

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Thanks a ton guys. The support had helped a lot to change my mindset.

Funny actually came home later then her (she had work) and I could already tell she was a bit jealous when she found out who I was hanging out with.Still don't feel totally happy, but I was able to enjoy myself last night.

Wait, you guys are still living together?
:yes:

This poor kid... you can almost hear his desperate hope as you read the bolded.

Yeah. That mindset needs to change ASAP. Don't try to make her jealous, don't CARE if she's jealous, don't KNOW if she's jealous. Sever ties. Kick her out if she doesn't move very soon.
Wait. It's HIS place, she's living there with him, and she broke up with him? No.16, if this is the case, you need to throw her out now. I'm not kidding. Like, literally, don't even finish this sentence I'm writing, just throw her out NOW. Why are you still reading? I thought I told you to stop reading and thr- dude, I'm not kidding. THROW HER OUT NOW ! Stop reading this. STOP IT !! OK, if you're not going to stop reading, I'm going to stop writing.
He won't do that. Do tell her she's got 2-3 weeks to find a place though.
I'd tell her she has 2-3 minutes to do so before my foot found a place between her buttocks.
He didn't catch her cheating on him. You can act a little civil and give her a few days to find a place. Although if she had any heart, she wouldn't stay there and should have lined up a place before breaking the news.

Tough situation.

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The problem is, the worst case scenario here is what he believes is the best case scenario--that she second guesses herself and decides to stay. It's inevitable he'll feel this way and doesn't see the downside of it happening. It's easier to look at his situation from the outside and with the experience of it happening, knowing how it turns out.

Exactly right. No matter what we say, he won't believe it either, it'll be the "they don't understand my situation" mindset. Can't blame him for that, I was the exact same way in those shoes. I wouldn't have listened to you humps either. :lol:That's why I'm being so blunt and direct. Praying some of it will sink in.

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Thanks a ton guys. The support had helped a lot to change my mindset.

Funny actually came home later then her (she had work) and I could already tell she was a bit jealous when she found out who I was hanging out with.Still don't feel totally happy, but I was able to enjoy myself last night.

Wait, you guys are still living together?
:yes:

This poor kid... you can almost hear his desperate hope as you read the bolded.

Yeah. That mindset needs to change ASAP. Don't try to make her jealous, don't CARE if she's jealous, don't KNOW if she's jealous. Sever ties. Kick her out if she doesn't move very soon.
Wait. It's HIS place, she's living there with him, and she broke up with him? No.16, if this is the case, you need to throw her out now. I'm not kidding. Like, literally, don't even finish this sentence I'm writing, just throw her out NOW. Why are you still reading? I thought I told you to stop reading and thr- dude, I'm not kidding. THROW HER OUT NOW ! Stop reading this. STOP IT !! OK, if you're not going to stop reading, I'm going to stop writing.
He won't do that. Do tell her she's got 2-3 weeks to find a place though.
I'd tell her she has 2-3 minutes to do so before my foot found a place between her buttocks.
He didn't catch her cheating on him. You can act a little civil and give her a few days to find a place. Although if she had any heart, she wouldn't stay there and should have lined up a place before breaking the news.

Tough situation.

Civil? Are you kidding? I'm not saying he should physically cast her out like a bouncer at an unsavory gin joint, but WTF is up with : "Well, after 6 years, I don't want to be with you anymore, but I'm going to go ahead and keep living in your apartment." WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? She expects him to watch the woman he loves walk in and out the door every day like nothing's wrong? What kind of sadistic #### is that?
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I don't read as much EG72 as I should. :wub:

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Yah won't just kick her out. She really has no place to go as her family doesn't live in this area. She's looking for place to move so no biggie.

:blackdot: for 4 weeks from now when she's still living with you. Be sure to let us know if you still think it's "no biggie".

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Thanks a ton guys. The support had helped a lot to change my mindset.

Funny actually came home later then her (she had work) and I could already tell she was a bit jealous when she found out who I was hanging out with.Still don't feel totally happy, but I was able to enjoy myself last night.

Wait, you guys are still living together?
:yes:

This poor kid... you can almost hear his desperate hope as you read the bolded.

Yeah. That mindset needs to change ASAP. Don't try to make her jealous, don't CARE if she's jealous, don't KNOW if she's jealous. Sever ties. Kick her out if she doesn't move very soon.
Wait. It's HIS place, she's living there with him, and she broke up with him? No.16, if this is the case, you need to throw her out now. I'm not kidding. Like, literally, don't even finish this sentence I'm writing, just throw her out NOW. Why are you still reading? I thought I told you to stop reading and thr- dude, I'm not kidding. THROW HER OUT NOW ! Stop reading this. STOP IT !! OK, if you're not going to stop reading, I'm going to stop writing.
He won't do that. Do tell her she's got 2-3 weeks to find a place though.
I'd tell her she has 2-3 minutes to do so before my foot found a place between her buttocks.
He didn't catch her cheating on him. You can act a little civil and give her a few days to find a place. Although if she had any heart, she wouldn't stay there and should have lined up a place before breaking the news.

Tough situation.

Civil? Are you kidding? I'm not saying he should physically cast her out like a bouncer at an unsavory gin joint, but WTF is up with : "Well, after 6 years, I don't want to be with you anymore, but I'm going to go ahead and keep living in your apartment." WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? She expects him to watch the woman he loves walk in and out the door every day like nothing's wrong? What kind of sadistic #### is that?
When you live together, it's still a shared residence. Breakups occur because of both people. She's just the one to initiate it. It's wrong of her to stay but it wouldn't be the worst thing to do to give her a couple of days to get her #### and get out. Take the high road and he'll feel better about himself in the long run. Like I said, if she cheated all bets are off. Her stuff would've been out the door in 10 minutes.

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If she knew she was going to break up with you she should have had another place lined up before she dropped the news. If she didn't she's either stupid or knows she can use you. You have no use for either.

:goodposting: She should have been packing immediately.

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It doesn't ease your pain, but these guys are right. Your ability to love, to think you have/had the "one" is very different in your early to mid twenties. As you get older, wiser, more secure in your job and finances, you'll have all kinds of other options along with different perspectives. Trust me, I had the greatest hottest most beautiful girl when i was in my early 20s. We were engaged to by married. She broke it off because I wasn't Mormon. At the time, I was devastated. ALL my guy friends agreed she was a 9.5 on a 10 scale. By the time I was 30, I thanked God we didn't get married. And this was well before meeting my wife. Just give it time, have some fun, you are only twenty something and carefree for a short time. :thumbup:

:goodposting:

Consider yourself lucky. I had a similar situation when I was 26 and almost put a ring on it. So glad I didn't. I'd be miserable right now. Focus on yourself, live life, make money and :pickle: women.

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If she knew she was going to break up with you she should have had another place lined up before she dropped the news. If she didn't she's either stupid or knows she can use you. You have no use for either.

:goodposting: She should have been packing immediately.
Agreed. I'd give her until the end of the weekend at best. She shouldn't get to live rent free in your pad while she finds the ideal landing place. It's not your job to make this smooth for her. Her decision to end the relationship was real and she has to go. Edited by SeveredHorseHeads

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If she knew she was going to break up with you she should have had another place lined up before she dropped the news. If she didn't she's either stupid or knows she can use you. You have no use for either.

This is spot on.

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Just looked at the OP and he said she broke the news to him "the other day"

She definitely should have been out by now.

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